I wasn’t exactly what you’d call an hourly employee being paid a salary based on profit as co-owner, but
This really needs a comma between 'employee' and 'being'. Normally a simple missing comma wouldn't be worth pointing out but here it significantly changes the meaning. Without it 'being paid a salary based on profit' is connected to 'hourly employee'. So she is saying she 'isn't an hourly employee that is being paid a salary based on profits since she is a co-owner'... though if that is actually what you meant then you should move 'as co-owner' to the beginning before 'I'.
I had to ask Daisy what the big attraction was, and she explained that men — and quite a few mares of the filly-fooler persuasion — found the sight of wet females alluring.
Everyone turned to face Daisy who had uttered the nonsensical word.
“Perlalaylayloo!” Daisy slurred, again failing to speak properly.
Sparkler buried her face in both hooves, dropping her watery missile and soaking her hooves.
Undeterred, Daisy continued her fruitless search for the right word, moving “Pine. Parsnip. Parsley. Pard'ner…”
“Parley?” Lily suggested helpfully, surprising us all, having left the greenhouse and joined us while we were watching Daisy continue to make a foal of herself.
10756504 God, I wish! I was still a very new writer when I wrote AGP and as a result, we got cringe like this chapter with no payoff. I can only promise I cut the crap later on and the rest of the story doesn't look like this chapter.
And then sex happened. Yay!
I'm looking forward to see what happens next. I'm hoping the date goes well.
I found most of this chapter boring. Lets hope we get back to the main event soon.
5792293 The Lily subplot is finished if that's what you objected to. Chapter four will bring it back to the two main characters.
5791687 I'm not sure what you're mean. Lily and Carrot Top perhaps?
5786132 I'm glad "butt stuff" is relevant to your interests as well.
5792200 I'm happy to see a fellow Firesight fan following my story!
Second dislike? Awww... I hope chapter four makes it better; I'm releasing it later and then I'll be all caught up and have to write more.
5792972
It's a good story, and worth following. Ignore those dislikes; some people just don't like human x pony parings.
The clothes are like a gift wrap in this case.
This really needs a comma between 'employee' and 'being'. Normally a simple missing comma wouldn't be worth pointing out but here it significantly changes the meaning. Without it 'being paid a salary based on profit' is connected to 'hourly employee'. So she is saying she 'isn't an hourly employee that is being paid a salary based on profits since she is a co-owner'... though if that is actually what you meant then you should move 'as co-owner' to the beginning before 'I'.
I have no idea what you're talking about! Heheheh...
i.giphy.com/LRVnPYqM8DLag.gif
a vary tender chapter I like it.
...My sides!!
All the references!
As cute as that was, it seems orthogonal to the plot, but I’m curious if it will tie back in.
10756504
God, I wish! I was still a very new writer when I wrote AGP and as a result, we got cringe like this chapter with no payoff. I can only promise I cut the crap later on and the rest of the story doesn't look like this chapter.