An hour later, and Bard was still twanging away at his guitar. It was a slow, gentle melody. He produced sporadic, searching notes, fishing through the soundscape until he caught a live tune from the rippling ether that was worth memorizing. All the while, he bore a soft smile on his muzzle, a tranquil expression that refused to go away. For a long time, Rainbow Dash refused to look at it—or him, probably because a part of her was envious and she refused to admit it.
So, instead, she faced the furthest edge of the Arrowfish's corridor, munching on her fourth juicy apple of the hour. Echo was asleep. Theanim was busy studying the documents stolen from the Syndicate's Stronghold. Wildcard was nowhere to be seen, having presumably shuffled off to explore the Mark Two and get a better feel for the large vessel carrying them all south on a humming glide.
“You know, I've never been around a magician for this long before,” Twilight Sparkle murmured. She reclined across the floor, staring Bard's way with a dreamy smile. Her eyes followed his feather tips as they strummed and plucked each string in slow, alternating rhythm. “It's absolutely remarkable how they're able to salvage meaning and mirth from pure sounds.”
“Twilight, if you're quite smitten with him, you can just admit it, darling,” Rarity said.
Twilight turned to frown at her. “I'm saying that admire his talent, not him!”
“Yes.” Rarity smiled coyly. “And I'm certain you would be delighted to know whether or not he has a huge talent.”
“Grrrrr...” Twilight's cheeks turned red. “You're one to talk, Rarity!” She pouted. “Drooling over just about every male thing we've come across since you were dragged out of the Machine World!”
“Twilight Sparkle, a lady most certainly does not drool.” Rarity fluffed her mane and gestured towards the air. “Now, there's something that can be said for... appreciative salivations...”
“Unnnngh...”
“And besides, as delighted as I am that Rainbow Dash has done so much to pull us out from the depths of chaos, it stands to be said that our current state of existence is... well... a prison.”
Rainbow glanced over.
“Rarity, don't be cruel,” Twilight whispered.
“Oh, I have no problem admitting that before Rainbow. After all, it's not that I'm ungrateful.” Rarity fidgeted, her ears folded back melancholically. “Until she gallantly brings us back into physical being with the Harmonic Prism, it's a rather... unpleasant condition that we'll be having to deal with.”
“Actually, Rarity, Rainbow Dash can't restore our bodies with the Harmonic Prism. Only alicorns like Luna and Celestia can do that, remember?”
“Ugh! Twilight, don't remind me!” Rarity's voice reached a high pitch. “It's nightmarish enough knowing that we have to venture deep into that nightmarish dark side, much less perform the thrice impossible act of returning to Equestria!”
Rainbow Dash took another bite of the apple. She munched liberally, staring off with flaring nostrils.
Rarity looked at her. Then, with a sigh, she leaned back towards Twilight. “It's an ordeal for all of us. That much can't be denied. Still...” She smiled coyly in Bard's direction. “What crime is there in tantalizing ourselves with wild, silly musings? Especially if they exist solitarily within the realm of impossibility?”
“I've never understood flirting,” Twilight muttered. “So how could I understand flirting with... with th-things that can't even see or hear us flirting?”
“Is that what stallions are to you, Twilight? Things?”
“Look, I-I dunno!” Twilight's voice cracked as she shrugged her forelimbs. “He's an equine being just like you and me! And just because I admire his musical gifts—”
“Heeheehee...” Rarity reached over and stroked Twilight's mane. “I am simply teasing you, darling.”
“Grrrrrr...”
“You simply must learn to relax, dear,” the fashionista said. “All things considered, you and I are going to be in this condition for a long time. We truly should learn to entertain ourselves. At least... up until Pinkie Pie shows up to do it for us.”
“I suppose you're right,” Twilight muttered. “Still, more than anything, I'd rather learn more about Mr. Bard and his past.”
“Not just his 'talent,' hmmm?”
“I mean, despite our rough start, these two strangers did do an awful lot to help us. We're headed now to Shoggoth with a chance to meet Princess Camellia, thanks to them. It sort of feels like... we should thank them, somehow. And it would help if we knew more about them.”
“Hmmmm...” Rarity slowly swiveled her head until she was smiling at Rainbow. “You don't say.”
Rainbow Dash looked back. She cleared her throat, took another bite, and mumbled through the fruity morsels. “Mrmmmfff... so... where're you from?”
Bard plucked a last string, and the reverberating note lingered between them. He blinked. “I beg yer pardon?”
Rainbow swallowed the apple mush down and said, “You got a story or don't you?”
“Hmmm? Who, me?” Bard smirked. “Reckon t'ain't much worth sharin'.”
“Heh... and I thought your name was 'Bard.'”
“Whoah whoah whoah...” The stallion chuckled, holding a hoof out. “Hold it right there, Missy. Dun be judgin' another pony by his callin' card. After all, ain't like yer head only appears after a sunny afternoon rainshower.”
“If you don't want to talk about it, then just say so, ya melon fudge.”
“Darlin', barely two days ago we was strugglin' to ring each other's necks over a bat-pony.”
“Sarosian.”
“What the buck ever,” Bard grumbled, nevertheless smirking as he plucked a few more strings. “I'm a desperado. That's all that matters.”
Rarity shrugged, glancing at Twilight.
“Suit yourself,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “I should have known that all the efforts we made to transcend our own fears and base assumptions to accomplish the awesome impossible together was just a friggin' fluke.” She performed a mock yawn. “Once we reach Shoggoth and you get your bits, I'll just forget you and the mute griffon ever existed.”
“N-now hold up!” Bard leaned forward. “I ain't aimin' to let us fade into the sunset either!”
Twilight giggled while Rarity smiled.
“Mmmmm?” Rainbow glanced over her shoulder. “So?”
“Well, first of all...” Bard hug his guitar to his chest while lazily leaning over it. “Dubya-Cee? He ain't mute.”
“Yeah right.”
“Naw, for real, missy.” Bard glanced down the empty corridor, as if afraid some feathery thing would be listening in. “He's got what y'all might call...” He paused slightly. “...an oath of silence.”
“You don't say...”
“Hell, you could ask him yerself! He's quite the chatterbox!”
“He only talks with his talons, stupid.”
“Yeah, and you dun understand a lick of it!” Bard stuck his tongue out. “Now who's stupid?!”
“Wyvern Wind Speech,” Theanim Mane suddenly muttered.
Both ponies (and the two ghosts) glanced over at him.
“Huh?” Rainbow blinked.
Theanim was writing notes down on a sheet of paper. He calmly spoke without looking up. “Wyverns are natural-born creatures of silence, having evolved from a species of stalking predators. In the modern day, one in every twenty is foaled without fully functioning vocal chords. As a result, they're inducted into an elite caste of Rohbredden guardians and protectors. The culture's invented a form of hand-signing that incorporates multiple digit and wrist movements. That way, they're able to communicate with one another efficiently, while protecting the interests of the Queen.”
“Ya mean to say you know Dubya-Cee's way of talkin'?”
“I never said I understood it.” Theanim glanced up through his goggles. “Merely that I recognize it. Couldn't have been easy for a griffon to learn... what—with them possessing only four talons instead of five, like the wyverns.”
Rainbow looked over at Bard. “Wildcard was raised by wyverns?”
“Now, I didn't say that.” Bard momentarily glared at Theanim. “Nor did I mean to imply that, I reckon.”
“Hmmmm...” Theanim returned to his note-taking with a subtle smile. “You should stick to music.”
“And you should stick to book huffin'!” Bard's nostrils flared. Nevertheless, he turned back towards Rainbow Dash with a tranquil smile. “In any case, Dubya-Cee's been buttin' heads and takin' names way longer than yers truly. For all intents and purposes, he's the whole backbone to the Desperadoes. Hell, he's worth nearly twenty of me combined.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow droned. “I kinda gathered that.” Twilight and Rarity giggled.
“But he ain't perfect. At least not in his own eyes. At some point, he made some terrible mistake, somethin' so embarrassing-like that he's never even done told me. And—well—he made an agreement with... past associates—ahem—that he ain't ever usin' his tongue or vocal chords again... not unless he's in the position to do somethin' that would redeem all his past mistakes and make him into a true warrior for all time.”
“So he was raised by wyverns!”
“H-hey! Shuddup!” Bard leaned forward, frowning. “Just who's dag-blame'd story is this?”
Rainbow chuckled. “I figured it was Wildcard's.”
Bard blinked, then leaned back. “Yeah... well... uhm...”
Rarity waved at Rainbow emphatically, so Rainbow said, “So what about yours?”
“Who, me?”
“Yes, you.”
“Ohhhhh...” Bard strummed at his guitar, a loose smile trailing on his muzzle. “I guess there's no sense in hidin' in. After all, we done nearly faced death at the hooves at the Syndicate together.”
“You mean those bumbling morons who we just smoked back in Rust without breaking a sweat?”
“Fine, we done nearly faced a few scraped elbows, ya reckon?” Bard cracked the joints in his neck and then proceeded to speak over the soft melody he was making with his guitar. “I guess you could say that I never truly needed to be a Desperado. What, with bein' born into silver spoon aristocracy and whatnot.”
“Huh?”
“Ya heard me!” Bard grinned. “I was foaled the son of a high rankin' senator in the Queen's Council! From day one, I had two beds, two toilets to crap in, and a hundred acre yard to go gallopin' all carefree-like. And the servants... Goddess... I could hug or kick any of them and it would make no difference, cuz Pa would protect me in any case. Now that is some true power! And power can really get to a colt's head, especially when he's younger than the dickens. Well, one day—when I was an obnoxious teen—I took one step too far. I stomped on the hoof of a visitin' delegate from the Western Bluffs of Rohbredden. At first, it was no big thang, except that—days later—he tripped on his achin' hoof while he was tryin' to board his ship ride back home. The dayum bastard fell and broke his neck. Wham! Dead! Naturally, his family were thirstin' for blood, and all of the red arrows pointed at my silly lil' ass. Pa couldn't protect me no longer. So, I had two choices: stay at home and eventually face the music, or tear ass for the hills and make my own music. And... well... guess ya can figure out which choice I made. I learned the tools of the migrant trade pretty quick, and discovered the fruits and joys of bounty huntin'. At some point I ran into Dubya-Cee, and seein' as he didn't bite my head off then and there, we shook hooves, formed the Desperadoes, and the rest is history!”
“Wowww...” Twilight Sparkle cooed.
“What an amazing tale!” Rarity remarked.
“... … ...” Rainbow squinted. “Not a single sentence of that garbage was true...” The two spectral mares did double-takes at Rainbow.
Bard plucked and plucked at strings.
“...wasn't it?” Rainbow grumbled.
Bard's lips curved. He chuckled, chuckled some more, then winked in the mare's direction. “Yer a lot smarter than you let on, Missy.”
“No,” Rainbow said. “Unless your father was Senator Guffaw from the Province of Hickdom, than I seriously doubt you were born with a silver-anything in your muzzle.”
“Hmmm. Fair enough.”
“So... what's your real story?”
“Somethin' worth a great deal of actual silver.” He strummed a few more notes and glanced over. “Got any to spare, darlin'?”
“I'm afraid not.”
“Then I've got nothin' meaty to offer back.” He felt through another melody. “Nothin' but melodies. Wanna have a go?”
Rarity groaned and Twilight chuckled.
“Meh... whatever,” Rainbow flung a hoof.
“Oooh! Here's a good one! It worked for the bleedin' hearts in the northern archipelagos.” Bard chuckled, this cleared his throat. “'My name is Bard, and you will not remember me. You won't even remember this conversation. Just like with everypony else I've ever met—'”
“Ugh...” Rainbow rolled her eyes and got up to dispose of her apple cores. “Just quit while you're ahead.”
Bard chuckled merrily. “I swear! It's got a happy ending!”
“You're lying again!” she grumbled from several trots away.
“Eh... yer right.” And he fumbled, striking a note off-key. “Who am I foolin'?”
Hmm...
I am simultaneously reading this along with someone else - and we're the first to people to read this chapter (besides the author).
My question is, "Who is the other user?"
Meta Bard is Meta. Also:
Spooklight confirmed for never having been around herself, I guess...
Fifty calve raises, ):(. Standwi th your feet flat on the ground, then raise up to your tiptoes. Hold it for two seconds, then back down, and that's one. You'll thank me later. Knock 'em out!
Just rub it in why dont ya?
Bard may not have a gaydar, but Dash's bullshit detector is spot on.
Still, interesting to learn that wildcard ain't mute.
The way these two banter is hilarious.
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw357_Oh%20you.png
Darn it all...now I picture WC as a monk, so now I keep visualizing him with a bald head. Bald heads dont look good on griffons
You just made a Background Pony reference.
nikktto.com/fs/1b8a8cbbee735d1737a4549d
In all seriousness, the past few chapters have been great, and allow us to see everyone's reactions. Also, it looks like when we get to Rohbredden, we'll be seeing some Wyverns. That's going to be interesting.
Bard's getting shot down more than the dudes in Hot Shots, and that's saying something
I might actually support TwiBard if I didn't ship WildBard so much.
6257445
What's with all that empty space underneath your comment?
6257532 What comment?
Background Pony?
I really hope austreoh isnt heading in that direction.
6257557
You are talking about IC. Anything can happen.
I hope it won't.
You know what? Screw it. as of right now, 11:20 am, Wednseday the 29th of July 2015, I'm going to dive in and read Background Pony, since I seem to be missing many references and jokes and what not.
Let's see if it lives up to it's infamy.
6257615
Honestly, I've only read half (and the TvTropes article on it), and it was enough for me to get all the jokes without getting axed in the head by Critical Feels.
Bard is Lyra reincarnated?
Naaa
But I lol at the background pony refrences. Especially the happy ending part....made my kids look up and wonder why their dad is crazy.
6257658 Eh. It's been sitting in my unopened book shelf for the past...3 years I think, since a friend who was reading it while it updated recommended it to me.
May as well see if I can't blitz through it.
As for feels...well I invite you to hover your cursor over my username and read my bio.
My brain is wired odd.
Twilight has been with Rarity for too long. Oh wait, she was smitten by that Nick stallion too, huh?
Does anyone else really friggin' hope that the Austreaoh series is going to end when they get to the Harmonic Prism at the end of the twelfth book, and that IC will make a sequel series of 12 books for the return trip?
6257685
There's also the fact that I got bored out of my mind in one of the chapters because it went on a jaw droppingly long tangent that I gave up. I only managed to figure out the entire bloody point of it through Tropes.
Laughing and crying.
Seriously, Bard is cool. Can we keep him?
6257615 See, IC? See what you've unleashed? How many more souls must you crush? There's a reason it's unsung!
6257706 Ah. That dreaded problem.
I tend to skip over chapters that seem to go nowhere and aren't contributing anything to the plot.
But they can be fun sometimes. Ah well. We all take different experiences from the same things.
A retelling of Background Pony? I figured Bard for the talkative type but that would be one loooong performance.
Now I wish there was an acoustic guitar version of the Nocturne of the Firmaments.
6257714 See, just like that, green text, purple italicized text.
I don't get any of it. So I take a journey to make myself understand.
Bard as the Man With No Name and Wildcard as the drifter stained with sin. This story is turning into a spaghetti western... except, y'know, with rocket boats, ghosts, and flying paint buckets.
I can dig it.
Also, dat goddamn Background Pony reference. Three years later, and it's still too soon.
"Happy Ending" in that Lyra saved Equestria, at the cost of no happy ending for her. I actually liked the end of Background Pony. It felt real, not a manufactured positive wrap up of everything going on in that 'verse. It was sad but it felt like it was the best possible end Lyra could manage with the situation. Unlike a certain published book about New England arsonists that had the protagonist just give up and let himself be framed. I abandoned that book in Texas and left the state, I was genuinely angry at it when I finished it. It felt like the author got tired of writing and threw an ending together.
Wow, off topic rant much?
Anyway...
I bet the lies about Bards past are more interesting than the truth, a different story every day. Now I kinda hope they stay around longer than this arc.
6257658
Same. I found that it would be a good read for those who have the attention span for it. The problem is that it has a bunch of description and explanation that seems to go nowhere.
Rainbow Dash has a pretty good Bullshit detector.
NOPE! I don't want any of this again.
Good to learn some more about one of our two companions here, hopefully Bard also has an interesting story to share at some point.
6257449
Maybe he's part bald eagle.
6257687
Honestly, I'd rather he work on a different story. Maybe one approximately 7 arcs long that has something to do with endless snow and elephants.
Or, failing that, maybe something like a musician on a fantastic journey through the darkest parts of the world.
6257936 If I had no attention span I would not have found enjoyment in Ri2's immense chapters for his pokemon fics, which can span close to 300k words,just per chapter.
6257944
Maybe one that deals with a time traveling equine dealing with being the last of her kind.
6257998
That would fit well with the one about the elephants.
6257457 You'd think that there'd be a Background Pony reference sometime sooner in the years this story's been going.
6257557 Maybe in a book or two...
6257813 6257943 Last I checked, it's Dash's job to hide all the bits on her past, not her friends.
Cross referencing ho! Between the recent appledashery and this, I'm expecting an EoP reference at one point
I did not recognize the BGpony ref, so i tell you that the way that last scene was scripted and written stood up perfectly all on its own.
Sure is cold up in the northern archipelago. I bet Bard never got a chance to take off his hoodie.
Damn. Just got hit by the nostalgia feels from the BP references.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw10469-1386580974328.gif
Ha!
And, also, ouch.
Heh. Oh the reference jokes...
So since Wildcard only has four talons, what would a wyvern hear? Is his vocabulary limited, or does he have a really strong "accent"?
6257783 I'm tellin you now, by the end of it, you'll wish you could forget.
6258471 We shall see, shan't we?
6258193 A+ gif usage as I could really have seen Dash making that face in her direction when she let that slip out =P
Why do you do this me?
I guess we'll just have to wait to find out about Bard's past until it gets everyone in trouble.
Heh, I haven't even read background pony yet and I immediately caught the reference.
6257615 I hope you're prepared for an awkward amalgamation of soul-crushing depression and baffling pseudo-philosophy. Half of the story has been repressed in my memory and the other half was never understood in the first place.
Although, as 6257706 said, it can and often will drag on in bewildering, meandering tangents that leave your brain cells committing suicide as you stare, glassy-eyed and lifeless at the endless geyser of words.
Regardless of those occasions, as a whole the story was so palpably heartbreaking and yet so beautifully written I cannot help but be awed by it, especially the ending. I can easily say that it is one of the best stories I have ever read, and I would be happy to never read it ever again. That's just the kind of story it is.
6257957
I love those stories as well! It's just that those chapters always had something new, while Background Pony can drone on and on. Like Lord of the Rings!
6258058
This is the first Background Pony reference I've seen, ever. I think that the story is just so..... So unreferenceable.
6258763
Ha! Hasn't it already?