Upon discovering that her brother has a fillyfriend, Applejack is making her mission to find out who this mystery mare is. Joining her on this mission is her best friend, Rainbow Dash.
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Grenazers
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D'awwwww
Please write more
MacinDash is to rare
Very nice story. Though it could use a bit editing (I am not one to talk) you have the bases of a great story! Maybe a few more details here and there, and a once over to check the flow. Good story none the less.
Ah,MacDash,the most awesome shipping in all E
questria
Very good story
Well done Rainbow Dash, Saruman approves your trolling
Get in Applejack's head and get a day with her stallion. What more could she want?
Nice trolling XD
Guessed it not long in. Nice buildup, though, and it helps that we focus on other things than the mystery. I'll admit when I read the words 'novelty store', my curiosity was very piqued, until I realized it wasn't 'that' kind of novelty store. Liked and favorited.
Maybe try sticking to only one tense. You keep switching between past and present tense throughout the story, and it makes it kind of hard to read.
I kinda had a feeling it was Dash.
Some minor grammar errors you might want to consider fixing. A neat story, to say the least, definitely D'aww worthy.
That was OK, but a few of Dash's mannerisms could stand to be rewritten to be more subtle: rather than saying she sounded relieved, describe something a little odd about her sighing — the sort of thing that presumably might make AJ half-notice that she sounded relieved.
(For what it's worth, I was pretty sure I knew the twist before I even hit the story page, but that's how it goes!)
Anyway, amusing little story.
Few things could be fixed I guess but overall a funny trolling by RD. I can completely imagine RD doing this too.
Needs an editing pass or two, but it's short and sweet and I thought it was pretty good!
6070989 Gandalf at 0:17: "I'm getting too old for this shit."
#WasteHerTime2016
Applejack, you have been Raintrolled.
Hey there! I enjoyed this fanfic so I narrated it. Hope you don't mind.