532 - Rules of Engagement
“And you’re sure it was her?”
Fighting down the urge to scream, Starlight nodded. “Yes, Twilight. It’s kind of hard for me to forget the mare who told me to my face that Lex was going to put a curse worse than death on me. Especially since she said it yesterday!”
Starlight was certain that it was embarrassment that made Twilight wince then, rather than in reaction to her raising her voice, and that victory mollified her enough to get to the point. Mostly. “I’m telling you, River Bank is here, which means that whatever she’s saying to Prince Stuck-Up’s viceroy or whatever he is must be on Lex’s orders…since by now he’s probably recovered enough to start issuing them.”
That rebuke had been intended to draw another wince from the princess, reminding her that she’d passed up a golden opportunity to put an end to that monster once and for all. But instead, Twilight gave her a look of concern, taking a step closer. “Starlight, I know that you and Lex don’t like each other very much, and I won’t say that you’re wrong to be angry at him. But I don’t think fighting is the answer here.”
“It’s not now, since you missed your chance to finish him off!” Starlight knew that getting angry was the wrong thing to do. Lashing out at Princess Twilight would make it harder to bring her around to her way of thinking later. But she couldn’t help it; after everything she’d lost yesterday, being lectured by some pampered princess about how violence was wrong was more than she could take. “Whoever healed Lex is probably doing the same for those other ponies he bamboozled into fighting for him! So now we’re back to square one!”
But Twilight was still intent on talking down to her! “Starlight, Lex defeated Princesses Celestia and Luna all on his own. And I think he might have held back when he fought you. Even if we’d gone in horns blazing last night, I’m not convinced it would have gone the way you’re thinking.” Her voice took on a pleading tone then. “Let me see if I can set things up for you and Lex to try talking things out. You won’t even have to speak directly to him if you don’t want to, I can-”
“Are you kidding me?!” What was wrong with this mare that she wouldn’t listen to reason?! Except the answer to that was obvious, being right there on Twilight’s flanks. “Look, I get that your cutie mark is for magic, so you think the ‘magic of friendship’ can solve every problem. But right now you’re putting yourself, me, your friends, and all of Equestria in danger because you’re letting your cutie mark blind you to the fact that there’s no friendship to be had where Lex Legis is concerned!”
Twilight was silent for a long moment. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe Lex isn’t somepony who can understand the magic of friendship,” she conceded at last, and for an instant Starlight had a flash of hope that the alicorn was willing to listen to reason, to see that her cutie mark was holding her back from what needed to be done. But that hope was dashed a moment later. “But what about you? Don’t you think that maybe you need a friend right now?”
“What I need is my horn fixed! What I need is a rematch with that despot where he isn’t sending other ponies to do his dirty work! What I need is to show everypony in Vanhoover that there’s a better way to make friendships and build harmony!” But Starlight could see from the pitying look on Twilight’s face that she wasn’t getting through to her. This would be so much easier if I could just rip her cutie mark off by force and shut her in a room all by herself for a few days. That had always gotten better results than talking; most ponies were too brainwashed by how Equestrian society treated cutie marks as wonderful things, requiring drastic measures to be taken for them to see the light, and Twilight was clearly no exception.
Deciding that any further discourse was a waste of her time, Starlight turned and trudged down the hallway of the yacht’s passenger deck. “Go ahead and try and reason with Lex if you want, but I’m not going to be a part of it. Maybe after he’s destroyed something you care about, you’ll be ready to talk sense.”
Twilight watched Starlight go, a good night’s sleep clearly having done nothing for how hurt and angry she was.
While not entirely surprising, it was disappointing, and not just because Twilight still wasn’t sure how Starlight fit in with their mission from the map. Rather, Twilight had been hoping to talk to her more about the friends who had – for whatever reason – abandoned her during the middle of her fight with Lex. But all Starlight had wanted to bring up was the unicorn she’d been fighting against, specifically with regard to how River Bank was here on his behalf, doing who knows what.
But that wasn’t the only reason why Starlight’s words had been upsetting…
“Twilight, there you are!” Smiling, Spike hurried over to her, pointing back in the direction he’d come from. “C’mon, everypony else is having breakfast! Pinkie asked the chef if she could make chocolate toast, which nopony thought was a thing, but she actually did it! And it’s really good!”
The anecdote brought a wan smile to her lips, but only for a moment. “Spike…do you think I’m putting everypony in danger?”
“Huh?” The little dragon couldn’t have looked more confused if he’d tried. “What do you mean?”
Sitting down, Twilight hung her head. “I thought the map sent us here to try and solve a friendship problem, but now I’m wondering if I made a mistake the way I did when the lhaksharut attacked.”
“C’mon, that turned out okay,” protested Spike.
Twilight shook her head. “But not because of me! I made the wrong call, not just once but twice, and my friends almost died because of it! If Mihr hadn’t shown up when he did…” She didn’t want to dwell on that, but at the same time couldn’t think about anything else. “What if I’m wrong, and we should have finished what Starlight Glimmer and Rainbow Dash started? Maybe we’re supposed to deal with Lex the same way we did with King Sombra and Tirek instead of trying to reason with him?”
“But you’re the Princess of Friendship,” insisted Spike. “The map has to know that, right?”
Twilight shrugged. “So does Princess Celestia, and she thinks that Lex isn’t trustworthy. Maybe I was wrong from the start. Maybe we are here to defeat Lex once and for all.”
“Well…” Walking over, Spike put a claw around Twilight. “If you are, I’m just glad the map sent you and everyone else together. After seeing what happened to Starlight Glimmer, I’d hate for you to have to fight him one-on-one.”
This time her smile was more genuine, and Twilight was halfway to wrapping Spike up in a hug when something clicked in her brain. “Wait…one-on-one…”
Spike blinked, pouting a little at not getting his expected hug. “Twilight?”
“Spike, that’s it!” Her eyes widening, Twilight grinned. “You’re a genius!” Scooping the little guy up, she gave him a quick embrace before putting him down and galloping off, her mind whirling as she ran.
Starlight Glimmer thought that Lex needed to be defeated. The map, Twilight hoped, had sent them there to reason with him. Up until now, Twilight hadn’t been sure which option was right.
But Spike had helped her see that maybe the answer was both of them.
“I said I was not to be disturbed,” huffed Prince Blueblood.
“Begging your pardon, Your Highness,” gulped the old unicorn mare who’d knocked on the door for her – it didn’t escape Twilight’s notice that the lanky stallion who served as his valet was nowhere to be found – “But the Princess of Friendship is insisting that she speak with you immediately.”
Putting down the elegant quill he’d been writing with, Prince Blueblood heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Oh, very well. All of these interruptions are utterly ruining my ability to concentrate on this victory poem anyway. Send her in.”
Nodding, the old mare motioned for Twilight to enter, bowing and closing the door once she had. Twilight copied the gesture, lowering her head respectfully. “Your Highness, thank you for seeing me.”
Blueblood gave a disdainful sniff, nose in the air. “As a prince of Equestria, I’m obliged to make time for fellow royal. Even when they insist on going without the least bit of ornamentation like some commoner.”
Twilight frowned at the jab, but let it go. Even if she hadn’t spoken with Blueblood briefly yesterday, Rarity had made no secret of how awful he’d been during their date at the Grand Galloping Gala, so his rudeness was no surprise now, even if it was unpleasant to deal with. But there were more important things to focus on right now, like the tidbit that Starlight Glimmer had let slip earlier. “I wanted to talk to you about the duel you’re planning on fighting with Lex Legis. Is your valet negotiating the terms with River Bank right now?”
The question made Blueblood roll his eyes. “My dear, were you more concerned with royal etiquette, you’d be aware that the terms are the duel. Lex Legis has no desire to face me on the field of battle, especially now that your friend Rainbow Splash so artlessly but effectively demonstrated that the hooligan has a glass jaw.” He paused to chuckle at the memory, giving his golden mane a toss. “My valet has already been back to confer with me thrice now since River Bank, that bumpkin, arrived. Lex Legis is doing exactly what I thought he would: having her press a ridiculously overwrought set of terms in an effort to intimidate me into withdrawing my challenge. Needless to say, it won’t work.”
Twilight bit her lip at that, knowing Blueblood had wildly misread Lex. But rather than try to talk some sense into the hardheaded prince, she instead focused on the one detail she wanted to make certain of. “So that means you’re using the guidelines laid out in Conduct of Satisfaction: A Guide to the Formal Resolution of Conflict and Calumny?”
Blueblood raised a brow. “You know of it?”
“I’ve read it.” Now that she knew the exact structure under which the duel was being negotiated, Twilight’s thoughts were spinning, examining the idea she’d had from all angles. “May I ask what terms are currently under discussion?”
“Ha!” Blueblood’s laugh was one part amusement, two parts surprise. “Normally I’d never disclose details of an ongoing parley…” He waggled his brows then, giving her a cocky smile as he moved to take a seat on a nearby divan. “But if you can restrain yourself from gossiping about it like some lowborn sloven, then I confess that Lex’s feeble attempts at brinksmareship are too amusing to keep to myself!”
“You don’t say.” Fighting back a grimace, Twilight moved to sit across from Blueblood.
“Oh, most definitely. Certainly, it wasn’t unexpected that he wants to settle things via a brawl, but did you know that he’s actually proposing that we battle to the pain? To the pain?!” Chortling, Blueblood held a hoof in front of his mouth. “I’m shocked that he didn’t go for even more melodrama and propose that we fight to the death!”
Twilight laughed weakly, the sound hollow in her ears. “To the pain” was a term from Code of Satisfaction which meant “until surrender or incapacitation,” with unconsciousness being the most common application. “That sounds like Lex.”
“Oh, that’s just the beginning. He’s absolutely overflowing with needless postulations and points of order, all designed to try and repair his fearsome image in my eyes.” Waving a hoof in the air, Blueblood began to count them off. “He wants the battle held as soon as possible, here in this wreck of a city, which is his clumsy way of trying to signal that he’s without hesitation in pursuing this. All posturing, of course, but quite amusing.”
Reclining further, Blueblood took a moment to make sure his tail remained perfectly coiffed as he made himself comfortable. “He wants it held within full view of the public, which is him trying to look like he isn’t concerned about being scorned for insulting a royal. He wants a clear agreement that quitting the field is an instant loss, another not-so-subtle indication of his supposed intent to see this through. He has quite a few stipulations about interference-”
“Has he said what he wants if he wins?” blurted Twilight.
“…I was saving that part for last,” pouted Blueblood, making no effort to hide his irritation at his buildup being interrupted. Sighing, he made a show of letting it go, snickering instead. “But this one is, as the plebians would say, quite a howler!”
Grinning, Blueblood’s eyes twinkled with mirth as he looked at Twilight. “Were he to actually go through with this and somehow pull off a victory, he wants me to ‘permanently and immediately abdicate my royal status and all of its attendant privileges’ in his favor!”
Twilight’s jaw dropped. “If Lex wins, he’ll become a prince in your place?!”
“Yes!” laughed Blueblood. “Isn’t it uproarious? That brute, a prince? Oh! Oh, I can’t remember the last time I heard anything so amusing! He must be truly desperate to avoid this duel if he’s instructed his representative to press such a perverse demand!”
Distractedly, Twilight nodded. Lex as a prince? While she herself had never really wanted to emphasize her royal title, Twilight felt certain that Lex would feel no such restraint. He’d press the legitimacy of his claim as hard as he could. Worse, Princess Celestia wouldn’t be able to deny it, since she was the one who’d underwritten the validity of Blueblood’s family’s royal status. It would be a huge leap forward for Lex’s goal of supplanting the princesses…
Shaking her head, Twilight forced herself not to get carried away. This made it all the more important that she go through with this. “Prince Blueblood, what terms have you put forth?”
“Hm? Oh, not very many,” admitted the stallion. “My strategy is to cow him by threatening to accept his terms, which I can assure you he doesn’t want since then he’d have to actually go through with this.”
After taking a moment to reflect on his brilliance, Blueblood continued. “My terms are mostly that, when I win, the vagrant gives a truly humbling statement of apology to myself and my dear aunts for the insult he gave them. Likely with a hefty monetary penalty, mostly for the joy of seeing him sink into destitution trying to fulfill his financial obligation. I wonder if he realizes that nopony will let him borrow any bits when it becomes known that he insulted the pride of Equestria: me.” He stared into the distance for a moment, openly daydreaming of the scenario that he’d just described, before coming back to himself. “Oh, and that he turn over his mares to my custody.”
“Well, I’d like to…wait, his mares?” Twilight couldn’t ignore that. “You mean Sonata and Aria?”
Blueblood’s face lit up. “You know them?! Oh, you absolutely must tell me about them! I’ve never seen anypony as beautiful as that fair maiden! And to think that scoundrel is defiling her and her sister to slake his vile appetites! Did you know,” he leaned closer to her, his voice lowering, “that he actually ravishes the two of them concurrently? Can you imagine such a thing? Two nubile maidens, siblings each, forced into such a compromising situation, given no choice but to work together to slake their captor’s foul lusts. It’s…” He gave a shudder then, letting out a slow breath. “Absolutely repulsive.”
The look on his face suggested he felt otherwise, which was plenty repulsive for Twilight. “Er, yeah…” Sitting up straighter, she decided to get to the reason she’d come here.
“Your Highness, I’d like to suggest one or two minor changes to your terms for the duel.”
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So... Twilight's probably there to fix Starlight's friendship with the people from her village, and not to do anything with Lex at all.
Huh, Lex really went for the throat with those conditions of his and Blueblood is going to just laugh and accept. Well, once Lex sees Blueblood's terms, he'll have the extra motivation he needs to ensure that Blueblood goes down painfully. Then again, with Twilight's suggestion, Lex might be flummoxed by the terms Blueblood puts forth at Twilight's suggestion.
Still, if Lex wins, he'd have all the necessary backing to reclaim and restore Vanhoover and the legitimacy needed to establish his own kingdom(addendum:provided the nobility and the rich folk still follow the old laws and given how Equestria's society has pretty much stagnated, there's a good chance of it happening) though I am curious about the terms Twilight put forward though I believe I have a decent idea on who will be participating in Blueblood's name.
So I was right about Lex wanting Blueblood's titles. Unfortunately what I was afraid of has come to pass and Twilight is interfering, probably going to have herself be his substitute for the duel. And unfortunately with her Everglow training, Twi probably won't be as inept at combat as she was in her canon fights with Starlight.
Lex is crippling his capability to protect those he claims to care for again.
Id swear Discord is sat back enjoying the show, with a Cecil The Seasick Seaserpent sock puppet on his tail.
10513596 The possibility that she's misunderstanding what the map sent her there to do remains distinct. It's sort of the problem with being told to fix a friendship problem in an area with trouble on more than one front.
10513620 Blueblood doesn't seem capable of understanding that Lex is out to overturn the social order that he (Blueblood) is sitting on top of. As such, he seems determined to underestimate the scope of the threat that Lex represents. While some of that can be chalked up to him being pushed out of the loop where that's concerned, it's pretty much all his own fault. He's made it plain that he's basically a caricature of royalty, and so he's treated thusly by his fellow royals, even as he benefits from the goodwill they've accumulated with the public.
As for what Twilight is going to suggest, well...if Blueblood listens to her, then it might not be such a lopsided contest after all...
10513706 Well, it seems likely Twilight would want that...but can we be absolutely certain at this point?
10513853
How do you figure?
10514621
When you get the chance to do nothing, take it. Your enemeis increasing paranoia will make them waste even more resources? If your enemy doesnt care, even better, as you will improve youre resources through recuperation?
Of course, both sides relax enough, and you get to a point where you get drill fatigue etc?
10514649 Yeah, I'm not sure that applies to Lex trying to take Blueblood's royal status for his own. He seems to be keenly aware that Blueblood is an idiot, and that an opportunity like this needs to be seized quickly, what with Starlight and Twilight still out there.