Tough Love: Luna vs. Celestia
Part 13: Crown and Scepter
They found Twilight Sparkle laying in the ruins of the destroyed throne room, dirty and bleeding and broken. Luna was curled around her, her long wings wrapped intimately around the wounded mare. She’d not died, but she’d come very, very close. Luna magic was steadying her laboring heart and seeing to her vast injuries. But oh, such injuries. Half-dead when she arrived in the hospital, it would be days before much improvement was seen. When she was sure the Element of Magic was in secure hooves, Luna heaved the moon out of the sky as quickly as she could to restore the late afternoon. Nudging the pesky sun towards the horizon, she started it into its dusk cycle before flopping down to rest.
Ponies were all around her, panicking and shouting and flailing about in confusion. Their poor princess! She’d gotten rid of the tyrant, but she looked terrible. Thick woolen blankets were brought and, after Celestia’s throne had been cast aside (smashed to pieces at the foot of the dais), they made a nest for Luna at the top of the platform in the throne room. There, the alicorn rested. All of her servants thought her darling when she meekly put her head under her wing like a swan. They didn’t see her wicked smiling under there.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Twilight Sparkle slowly moaned awake, turning her heavy head slightly. She hadn’t expected to wake up at all, the last thing she remembered was Daymare Sun head-butting her to death. What had happened? Why wasn’t she dead. Thinking hard made her head throb like little white hammers on her forehead, and she gave another loud moan. Her hoof lifted to touch her temple, but she found her head wrapped in bandages and most of her body suspended in slings. She sighed, limpening.
The door opened and a trio of doctors came in with Princess Luna. Twilight noticed the larger and more gem-covered crown on her head. That wasn’t the dainty princess tiara she always wore. “Twilight, thou hast returned to the land of the living!” the dark alicorn smiled in a friendly way. “We art so glad thou survives!” she leaned and nuzzled lightly at Twilight’s cheek. The doctors tittered and checked the medical equipment that the purple mare was hooked up to. Adjusting the medicine drip to her body and fluffing her pillow and a few other things, they bowed and were away.
“Luna…” Twilight breathed, looking up at her with a weak and pathetic gaze of soft eyes. “Is it… over?” she had to know, though she feared the answer just as much as she needed it.
“Yes.” said Luna gingerly. She nodded towards the window, where it was night outside. Sure enough, the profile of a crowned mare was plastered across the moon once more. It symbolized Celestia, who was there now. “I… I had no choice, Twilight. She was out of control, and she would have killed you if left to run wild.” Princess Luna wilted and sat by the hospital bed.
“What about the others?” whispered Twilight.
“Your friends are alright.” She nodded. “We lost a few good stallions, though.” She sighed in a hurt way. “They laid down their lives for Equestria, though. Honorable deaths.” She nodded as though to reassure herself, but her ears were down and sad. Twilight felt a sadness in her heart. She’d never witnessed soldiers being killed before. Much less by their own Princess.
“…how long have I been here?” Twilight was just full of questions.
“Four days, under constant watch.” Luna smiled, reaching and running a hoof intimately through Twilight’s mane. The weakened mare smiled a little, comforted. “But the doctors say you will be okay. And when you are better we shalt restore your tooth as well.” She giggled just a little. Twilight flicked her tongue through her mouth quickly. Sure enough, one of her front teeth was missing, and the sickly hole in her mouth felt very weird.
“Are you alright, Princess?” Twilight looked her up and down. Luna had a few faded bruises, but she’d been scrubbed and tended to by lots of servants no doubt. She still had her black eye, but it was faded as well. The alicorn nodded, closing her wings a little self-consciously. “I can’t believe it…” the mare in the hospital bed said softly, her sad eyes casting downward. “Princess Celestia--!”
“Daymare Sun, Twilight. Celestia no longer.” Luna betrayed just a little bit of acid in her tone. Twilight looked up at her, a little surprised. “She’s on the moon now, just as I was. She’ll have plenty of time to think about what she’s done.” She said just a little bit savagely. Twilight gazed up at Luna, a little surprised at the anger in her voice. Seeing Twilight’s look out of the corner of her eye, Luna lifted a hoof and touched her black eye. The purple mare’s expression softened. Of course she was relieved to see Celestia put on the moon, she’d been abused by her for months.
“Princess…” Twilight said softly, stretching just a little to touch her.
Luna seemed to be gathering herself for a few moments, then smiled apologetically. “There will be time to mourn, Twilight. I promise.” She whispered, leaning and pressing her muzzle gently into Twilight’s mane. “Until then, thou must heal.”
“Wh-what about Equestria?” Twilight blushed at the kiss on the head. Not even Celestia had ever done that before. “I mean, you’ve been gone for so long, how will you run it all by yourself?”
“Well, to be honest, I think it best that I bring in representatives from all the different regions of the country.” Luna said with some confidence. “That way, I will hear about the events and needs of everypony from ponies that are from those places.”
“Ohhh.” Twilight smiled. “You mean like a Republic? A Lunar Republic?” she teased just a little.
“What?” Luna cocked an eyebrow, her muzzle wrinkling a little. “No no, that would be silly.” She cocked her head at the outrageous idea. As though she would give up supreme power after all of this effort. Pffft. “Equestria has always been a diarchy… then a monarchy, then a diarchy again.” She smiled a little painfully. “Now, a monarchy with myself as Princess alone. The gathered ponies I mentioned will be like… advisors.” She said with a more peaceful expression.
Twilight nodded her understanding. “That’s really smart.” She praised her Princess. “I guess a country wouldn’t turn government types overnight, haha! That would be pretty silly. But yes, all those advisors from different regions would be a great idea!” she winced when something pained her, and tried to lay still again.
“I shalt need a Vizier as well, Twilight Sparkle. A most faithful, trusted advisor.” Luna said with a coy smile. “Perhaps thou…?” she leaned over the purple mare, a twinkle in her eye. Twilight’s mouth went agape and her face blushed. Her? A government official? Oh wow! She stared up at Luna, flattered and silent. “Hehe, I will let thou think on it.” She stood up again, leaning over out of Twilight’s field of vision. “Here. I’ve brought thee reading material for while you are like this.” She smiled, pushing a stack of books onto the end table by the hospital bed. Twilight could have kissed her, she was so happy. She could stay here for ages now, if she could study and expand herself still.
“Thank you, Princess.” Twilight said softly.
“Just Luna when we’re alone, Twilight.” The Princess smiled serenely, making for the door. “I await thy answer when you are able to walk again. But, I must away. Equestria needs me for clean-up and reparation delegations.” She gave a little bow and, waving in a friendly way, left Twilight alone in her hospital room.
The alicorn frowned a bit as she came to a hospital intersection. There were a group of doctors all running about doing this and that, their nurses scribbling on clipboards and tallying things. Many injuries had happened during the fight against Celestia, and the hospital was a madhouse of activity. A few of them stopped and looked up when the Princess stopped at the counter. “Yes your Majesty?” one of the braver nurses came to greet her.
“I want special eyes to be kept on Twilight Sparkle.” Luna said, lifting her muzzle regally. “I want her to have the best treatment. The best!” she pointed a hoof rather threateningly at them, but quickly lowered it so they would not fear her as badly. “She fought for country and Princess. She deserves anything bits can buy.” The nurse nodded dumbly at the passionate words. “Thou shalt see to it that all of her medical bills are sent to the Palace accounts. I will draw the funds from the royal coffers myself.” With a snap in her step, the Princess left the hospital and made for the exit.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Celestia heaved against her bonds, groaning loudly. She was, quite literally, chained to the moon itself. Great ebony locks draped all over her, chains criss-crossing across her breast, and a massive set of weights on her hooves. She could barely walk forward and backward, and flying was out of the question. It hadn’t taken her long to figure out where she was, for Equestria herself hung in the sky above her.
Then, suddenly, with a crack of magic and a shower of purple sparks—Luna. The two alicorns stared at each other. Luna smiled rather wickedly, silent. “Come to gloat?” Celestia said with a scowl. Her solar magic heaved against the lunar steel that bound her. Luna said nothing, only watched her. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? You were just waiting for the opportunity.” The white mare struggled forward, within hoof’s reach of her sister now. Opening her wings, she tried to lunge but Luna merely stepped out of the way. The chains and bonds were just too heavy. She couldn’t pounce on a slow-moving wildlife creature, much less on Luna.
Luna cocked her head, watching Celestia struggle and stagger over herself with grand satisfaction. She looked so ridiculous, chained up like that. It was fitting, after all that had happened. After all, how else was she going to keep the terrifying Daymare Sun on the moon? Bind her to it with magic, and weigh her down of course. Still, the Princess of the Night didn’t speak.
“Well?!” Celestia said, frustrated at her.” Say something! You’ve brought me low, sister, the least you can do is acknowledge me!”
Luna’s horn lit with magic. In her mind, Celestia heard, <There’s no air in space, sister, I can’t hear what you’re saying.>
Celestia lit her horn, but it spark-crackled out. The Lunar Steel holding her was impeding her magic greatly. “This isn’t fair, Luna!” her mouth moved, but now she understood. Her ears weren’t picking up the sound of her own words. “Auugh!” she cried out in frustration, but Luna only stood there and smiled.
<I imagine you’re wanting to vent your frustrations at me. Too bad.> Luna thought-spoke with a light chuckle. Celestia glared at her, eyes flashing into their pink spectrum. <Heave and throw yourself against your bonds, sister, it will do you no good.> the dark Princess knew it was safe to gloat on the moon. There was nopony else around to hear it. She opened her wings, lifting herself up a few feet with magic to aid her. <Enjoy your time out here. Perhaps in a few thousand years when ponies invent space travel, you’ll be able to come home again. By then, I shall have consolidated my power.> She grinned at Celestia from under her eyebrows. <And do not worry,> she thought, turning to return to the planet and enjoying her victory. <I’ll take very good care of Twilight Sparkle.> With that final heart-wrenching sentence she flapped her wings hard, just once, and rocketed away.
Celestia gave a wounded cry, trying to fly after her. Not Twilight! Luna would poison her innocent, most faithful student! But no, her bonds were too heavy. She couldn’t even get off the dusty grey ground. Her ebony chains glittered as she screamed silently at the heavens. “No! Luna! Don’t leave me here! Luna! Don’t leave me here! Luna! Luuuuu-nahhhhhhhhh!” In space there was nopony to hear her scream, and she could only watch the bright star that was her sister shoot down to the surface again. She fell to her knees to weep.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Some Time Later…
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Princess of the Night walked regally down the royal hall of the palace. By her side was Royal Vizier Twilight Sparkle, decked out in sparkling lunar garb. She’d given Twilight and all her friends medals of bravery, and had taken the brilliant scholar under her wing to serve as her most trusted advisor. She did look quite good in the dainty bits of metal and sparkling horseshoes. The dark, sparkling cape and flared collar looked good on her too.
The double doors opened as they came near, and Luna nodded to the two Lunar guards that had heard them coming and made way. Twilight peeled away from Luna and to a low platform, leaning slowly as she lay on her belly on a plush sitting pillow. Luna ascended, pairs of Lunar guards at either side of her bowing as she went up the dais stairs. A great onyx throne melted out of the floor (her own design, thank you very much), up into the place where Celestia’s throne once stood. Turning as a pillow popped into existence, she savored the moment. She looked about the room, then slowwwwwly sat down. Ohhhh, gods yes. The moment was almost erotic. Taking the throne. The only throne. Hers. All hers. Mhhh!
Cocking her head a little, she folded her wings in an elegant manner and tilted her muzzle up regally. Very princess-like, she heaved a quiet breath. She looked down at her servants, her guards, her vizier. It was all hers. All the planning and silent suffering and everything in between. At last, it was all hers. “Captain Stalwart Hide.” She turned her head, calling one of her Lunar Stallions. He snapped to attention, stepping forward and saluting. “Send for the first ponies. It is time to begin the Midnight Court.” She bade him. He nodded, cantering away with an air of authority about him.
Twilight Sparkle shuffled a few papers she’d had in her saddlebag. “Ahem,” She said, drawing the Princess’ eye. “The first appointment is a land dispute between two stallions and a--” The purple mare laid down a list of details, and Luna only smiled serenely. Even her sister’s most faithful student was all hers now. She briefly entertained the thought of seducing Twilight to her bed, but it would have to wait for awhile. The wound of losing Celestia was no doubt still fresh. Perhaps a decade or so down the line, they could be lovers. Anything to ruin any remnant of Celestia’s presence. Well-- that and she did have a cute butt, hehe.
The Princess turned her head when a pair of sleepy-eyed stallions came into the room. It would take Equestria some time to get used to their government running itself at night. Ah well, they would get used to it eventually. She didn’t have any delusion about nighttime eternal like she once had since, well, crops and such. But, it didn’t keep her from performing her royal duties strictly at night. She was an alicorn, she could do things her way. Both stallions bowed, and began to lay down their sides of the case for the Princess to hear. Luna smiled patiently, listening to both of them and almost jittering in excitement. She looked over at the moon, out the window and high in the sky. Celestia’s profile was stark against its milky surface. A light smile lifted on her lips.
It was good to be Princess.
THE END
And now, there will be a sequel in the distant future with Celestia getting free and kicking ass. Either way, I'm happy that I can now read the end!
hmm, i thought this had finished? you mean to change the ending? i liked the earlier version...
Yay
You are evil... Simply evil in this story!!!
Yeah. Sorry, man, but I like this ending even less than the first.
I can't believe that this story was updated!
I like the new ending.
Is it strange that I prefer the original ending over the new one?
This is kindof what I was expecting.
Luna is delightfully cruel in this one.
VICTORY OF HER MAJESTY!!!
Took you long enough.
Go Luna! I've been waiting for her to get revenge for too long. Same story with Trollestia getting what's coming to her.
You can't really tell, but Twilight is evil by the end. There is, after all, no such thing as a good vizier. She's cackling and plotting and possibly scheming on the inside.
Honestly, I think the first ending was better. No offense meant, of course...
The other ending was better.
Agreed. I like the old ending better.
Good ending, hope there is a sequel, but if not hey; evil has to win sometimes. : )
BAD END
I liked the other ending better, I don't like Luna winning because everything went just too perfectly, and her being evil just doesn't make sense if the elements worked at all the first time.
I never actually got to read the original ending. Could someone who did give me a summary? And why it got so much flak?
First, I want to begin by saying thank you for trying your best at giving a more "fitting" ending to this story. It shows that you are committed to your readers, and if nothing else, no one can fault you at that.
Now, having said that, I've read the first version of the ending, and I've read this second one. And, to be honest, as much as I disliked the first ending and how crazy overboard Luna went towards teaching Celestia that lesson, I still vastly prefer it towards this ending. In the first one, at least, it was made clear that everything Luna did WAS out of love for her sister, thus fitting the title of the story rather well. This ending though doesn't feel like it fits the "tough love" theme at all. Instead, it fits a "Luna is still secretly evil and aims for the throne and everything Celestia has" theme & story, not at all like what the theme of the story is supposed to be.
To be honest, while the work you put into this story is admirable and staggering, I personally consider this your worst story here. All the others at least try their best to keep to the canon personalities of the characters, and this one...well, it didn't.
Again, thank you for trying to appease your readers with this new ending. You've gone above and beyond what anybody could ask of you. For myself though, this new ending is a worse cap-off to a story that was already a miscarriage to begin with.
Evil for the win! Much much better!
1250988
I disagree. The old ending had a sense of closure. This new one is too open to called an ending.
In short it screams: Sequel.
Yep, I love this ending. *Everyone stares* What? Why can't all the villains planning and sacrifice finally bear fruit? I mean is a story where Luna wants to overthrow Celestia without Nightmare Moons influence or turning into Nightmare Moon or being possessed and she wins so bad? (One where she isn't sadistically torturing Twilight or demeaning her to a maid.) I think this ending suits the story much better than Luna becoming a ****ing baker (Sorry still hate the original ending, ponies died, all that planning and plotting and Luna became a baker *facehoof*). Liked the little Lunar Republic reference and how she made fun of the idea.
Kinda surprised about the shattered throne of Celestia, figured not too many ponies would want to approach it but I like to imagine some Solar Guards smashed it in revenge for the deaths of the other guards. Also I liked that bit about their being no sound in space, the little science buff in me cheered for scientific accuracy ^_^. Also liked how Luna planned to both promote positive PR and help consolidate her leadership, getting representatives from far and wide as advisers and Twilight as a Vizier, I mean you can't go wrong when the Elements of Harmony are supporting you.
I like to think of a Vizier as a part of Luna's personal retinue which I imagine consisting of Stalwart Hide, Aegis Shield & Twilight. One thing I'm not so sure of, is Luna binding Celestia to the Moon, I figured she would've been exhausted with that super uber spell she used, unless that was all just stored magic and she used her everyday magic to seal Celestia and then double,triple and then quadrupled the seals over the last four days. Looking forward to more of your stories Aegis
I liked the original ending better IMO
LOL BAD/EVIL END
It was fun,but yeah,I guess I prefer the original better.
Thank you for this ending,though.
I like this ending much better. It's nice to see the villain win once in a while. Luna made a plan and it went off without a hitch, plain and simple. This ending also sets up the possibility of a sequel. And any of your faithful readers can tell you how good you are at writing sequels. (Still waiting on Seeing the Pattern 3, it must be done!) Eagerly awaiting your next work.
1250879 I agree with you on the whole "No such thing as a good vizier" idea. I can't hear the phrase royal vizier and not think of Jafar!
1251226
>This ending also sets up the possibility of a sequel.
That would depend on what is the sequel going to be about.
Because if it's going to be about Celestia's revenge,then it won't be possible since,well,as far as I know,Aegis said he can't write Celestia(please,correct me if I'm wrong Aegis I don't remember that much about what made you quit that Solar Guard Story).
An ending even worse than the first. Alright.
I like the old ending better (cept the part where Luna goes into hiding) but considering all the drama from the original ending it's good to have a extra ending.
With the new one, ohhhhhhhhhhhh Celestia is going to be pissed when they finally get around to picking her up in a lunar lander. Looks like the start of a vicious where they keep putting each other on the moon but no doubt Luna knows this. So how is she going to deal with another goddess she's not willing to kill who's been plotting her downfall the entire time?
Will she go the egotistical route and think she's far above Celestia without consiering the fact she did the same damn thing? Will she empower ponykind enough that a single alicorn doesn't have the power to effect change? Will she remove herself from power and let the ponies run themselves so the worst Celestia can do is burn her house down and get arrested?
If there's going to be a story about the fallout from the new ending then it might be my favorite ending.
I like both endings, I did like the first better (I don't see why people complained to begin with) but there is something to be said for devious evil plans working, the idea that she kind of "broke" equestria is interesting
SPOILER ALERT
Hmm. Both endings were good. In the original, good prevails, and in this one, the bad guy wins. Much as I hate to call Luna a bad guy... And each ending gives the story a very different tone.
If you decide that this ending is canon, maybe you could make a sequel? Maybe the Elements, especially those who would spend a lot of time in the palace (like TW), run across something they weren't supposed to, realize through some elaborate process Luna rigged Celestia's downfall, attempt to bring her back, take down Luna... and what not. Or something. Your call, obviously, but I'm pretty sure I'd read the hay out of it. Once I got to it. My list is suddenly huge.
(end of spoiler alert)
I'm honestly not sure which ending I liked better. Good writing, though. With the way the story went, I'm not sure there's any logical ending everyone would be satisfied with, but hey.
I love both endings.
An Evil (Seize the Scepter) ending and a Tough Love (Banish Herself) ending.
Both make me shock (and enjoy).
But I'm afraid of shit storms.
(Even the original ending, the mild one, causes.. The new ending may..)
Anyway, I enjoy both endings. GJ!
----
She briefly entertained the thought of seducing Twilight to her bed, but it would have to wait for awhile.
Oh my! Followed by What Princesses Needed.
I think Aegis u r a really good writer. You can write Luna a extreme kind-hearted and meek one in WPN (like Season 1 canon/fanon).
You can also write her a extreme subtle and evil one in this ending.
1250986
In the original, everything was Luna's plan to teach her sister a lesson about not needing a 'strong' princess that would turn into a tyrant. So she took the drug to make herself able to put together such a hurtful plot. In the end she released Celestia, told the truth, and went into hiding.
Everyone was upset because the ending felt like some kind of Shyamalan "tweest" ending that came out of nowhere, had little to no foreshadowing, and was generally unnecessary. Also, people felt that Luna character-sacrificing herself just to teach Celestia a lesson to 'help her' was stupid.
Honestly, the story doesn't NEED some stupid subversion about how Luna wasn't really a bad guy. It was fine with just being Luna plotting revenge. See, this is why Aegis Shield is better than BioWare, he can recognize when a good story has a bad ending and is willing to listen to criticism.
And so Luna's roundabout plan has finally come to fruitition.
Beautiful.
Now that you rule, better get cracking on that Death Star Luna! You know, just in case she has to blow up the moon as a contingency.
i ask for an ending.
i get an ending.
im sad it ended.
Good to see evil win every once in awhile.
I had no problem with the original ending. Thought it was kinda sad, but had no problem with it. This one is far darker than the original, and seems to be more in sync with your normal style
Goddamn, man. I was hoping that you would take another look at this ending. I freaking love this one so much more than the first: Luna is much darker and sinister, and there's a sense of purpose that was ... lacking in the previous. The overthrow of Celestia and Luna's consolidation of power at the end confirmed that although I was rooting for the 'bad' guy, it was indeed very satisfying to see her triumph over a much more powerful foe.
All things said and done, this is much more believable and enjoyable than the first ending. It just feels so good being bad. Excellent work.
A good example that the author can't go on about the reader's, the original idea of the author is always better.
Aegis Shield, don't let a bunch of readers to radically turn your ideas. It's useless to try to please everyone.
Hahaha! Our sister had it coming.. Twilight Sparkle and Equestria.. are now all MINE!
Lovely ending to a brilliant fic imho. And thats coming from a diehard Celestiafan who has frowned upon all juvenile molestia jargon jokes, and Lunar republic rebellion musical nonsense. No shocking suprices or revelations in this chapter like the last one though. Wouldn't go so far as to call that a letdown but still maybe worthy of mentioning. I'm very glad you took a brake from yer new Twiabuse-fic to wrap up this piece. Remeniscing on the early chapters brings a smile to my face and a warm fuzzy senscation in my chest. Thank you for writing this brilliant piece of fanfiction!
Now to check out that alternate ending. Who knows, maybe I'll hate this fic after reading that... I don't think you'll sease to surprice me anytime soon.
Thanks for writing. I just can't help myself but either love or hate your work. Some authors would consider that a compliment so go ahead and indulge fucker!
Oh, this is hilarious.
The original ending got so much hate for how Luna pulled the "I'm-just-taking-over-your-country-to-teach-you-a-lesson-oh-yes-and-I'm-a-martyr-too" card. The entire fic, Luna was vile. And then suddenly BAM she was good.
People complained, people whined, people bitched and moaned.
And now that you right the real ending, they're complaining, whining, bitching and moaning for you to change it back because they don't like Evil Luna. They want good to win in the end. Well, too bad.
No, this isn't necessarily a better ending. Partially because the original ending - despite how stupid and contrived it was - was awesome. It took what we thought was going on, and twisted it around. It played us readers for fools, led us on, and then slapped us in the face with a "LOL SHES ACTUALLY GOOD!"
That doesn't mean the original ending is better either though. I prefer Evil Luna, but beyond that it makes much more sense. And why are ponies not terrified of Luna? Because she gave them something greater to fear - Daymare Sun is a more recent event than Nightmare Moon.
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I find it ironic that Twilight, who's a solar pony and effectively a mortal alicorn (sans the wings), is serving under Luna, regeant of the Night. Heh, gotta love irony.
Unless you rewrote that chapter too, in which case this point is now moot.
1250879
The question is, is Twilight even more evil than Luna, or is she planning her own takeover?
After re-reading the original and the new ending i gotta say that i like both.
The new one seems to be more in line with the general sneaky and eeeevil scheming but at the same time i loved the beautiful twist in the original one that made me feel really dumb since i definitely did NOT see it coming.
One of the best part of your stories is that you always add something interesting and original to it so while some people may complain about not liking what they got in the story i prefer the stuff that came originally from the author. Keep up the good work and don't cave in to us whiny fans.
I like this ending better than the first for a very simple reason: it's not too neat. Everything just doesn't end with everything being explained and so on. The major conflict is resolved but there is sequel material if wanted. Overall it feels...right. So I'll ask since I mentioned it, but is there a possibility for a sequel that you want to do?
This ending feels way better then the first one. Very nice on the rewrite. I applaud you, good sir. *starts clapping*
Well, as depressing as this one is, at least it makes sense.
I like this ending best personally. I always get depressed by the 'goes on to live in obscurity' endings.
Oh man, read all of your chapters including both endings (read the original one first then this one) in a single night and its pushing 7am for me right now lol.
This story was so well written and the plot definitely kept me interested until the final moments and I dont mean to sound generic and such but I loved every minute it! You sir, have a talent for this
Now just one question... Did Twilight and Big Mac break up or something? lol
1250836 i may of took awhile, but it was good both ways
KHAAAAAAAAANN!!!!
Much better ending, thanks for rewriting it.