I sighed as Rarity lifted the swatch of red fabric from where it had sat before me on the craft table, its far end in tatters. "Candy, I think you need to practice more basic techniques first."
"But I was doing it!" I thrust a hoof at the cloth. "Look!"
I had folded the swatch once, and now a mostly straight stitch crept along the cloth in orange thread parallel to where I had aligned the edges. The needle still hung from where I had aborted the task due to the untimely arrival of a ball of fur and claws.
"Yes, dear, I know, you were doing quite well," said Rarity with a sigh. "Until you stuck the needle into the tail of my poor Opal."
Her cat regarded me with a narrow-eyed, accusing look from across the room, a low growl rising in her throat.
I hopped off my chair and stomped a hoof. "It wouldn't have happened if that poor dumb cat hadn't decided the fabric was a kitty toy! I'm lucky she didn't take my head off."
"Please don't be overly dramatic," said Rarity. "And don't call her dumb. You should've seen she had hopped up on the craft table."
"I was concentrating on what I was doing."
"And that's admirable, and you were indeed doing well. But unicorn magic is about being aware of your environment. You often admire me for how I can keep so many objects moving at once. That's why."
I sighed heavily and shot a glare at Opal. The cat snorted and raised her nose like a feline version of Spoiled Rich.
I resisted the urge to stomp my hoof again. Rarity really didn't like that gesture, but she tried not to criticize me so long as I didn't do it all the time. It was just another little compromise. We had agreed that solving everything at once was too much to expect. Finding a happy medium took time, which unfortunately meant occasional spats like this.
Rarity set the swatch back on the craft table. "I'm very proud of you for how far you've advanced, and I'm pleased you want to give fashion a try as a career. And I have indeed adjusted your magic instruction along those lines. But you need to pull back just a bit." Her gaze flicked down to my pendant. "And I wonder if perhaps you've been distracted."
I glanced down at it myself. "I've been trying not to think about it too hard."
"I know, and throwing yourself into your magical instruction has been good therapy for you. I just don't want to see you frustrate yourself needlessly."
She did have a point, as reluctant as I was to admit it.
It also didn't help that I still debated how to address her. I had not called her "Rarity" in almost a week, yet I still could not quite use a more motherly form of address despite seeing her in that role. "How about if I alternate between sewing and going back to the exercises on moving multiple objects?" I gestured towards the swatch. "I just don't want to give that up now that I know I can actually do it."
Rarity smiled. "That sounds like a fine compromise."
Opal growled, making her opinion very clear. As soon as Rarity turned away, I stuck my tongue out at the cat.
"I saw that, Candy."
I rolled my eyes but smiled faintly. "Of course you did."
The bell sounded from the front door of the boutique.
"Could you see who that is, please?" Rarity asked.
"Yeah, I got it," I said, happy to put as much distance between myself and Opal as possible. I trotted down the hall and started my obligatory greeting. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, how may I ... oh, um, morning, Twilight."
Twilight smiled. "Good morning, Candy. How have you been?"
"Oh, other than a falling out with Opal, everything's fine. I'll be glad when Sweetie Belle gets back. She has more luck with that cat than me."
Twilight chuckled. "I hope she's been having fun in Appleloosa."
I actually missed her (and not just for her feline-wrangling skills). I never thought I would ever feel that way about a kid. "So, um, what brings you here this morning? Or can I guess?"
"Zecora has finished the potion," Twilight said in a softer voice just as Rarity trotted into the room. "She said you can come over whenever you're ready."
Rarity stepped forward. "Candy, I'm willing to accompany you if you wish."
"Zecora said you don't have to rush it," said Twilight. "Please take as much time as you want."
I took a deep breath. Delaying would only give me time to find reasons to avoid it. "I want to do it now. I have to know."
I sat next to the cauldron, staring at the pink-red concoction which frothed inside the flask sitting on a low shelf. Zecora trotted over and pointed a hoof at it. "To speak with your friend, here is what you must do: while Twilight casts her spell, drink all of this brew."
I glanced towards Twilight and Rarity. Twilight stepped up to me. "Zecora explained the theory behind her potion. I believe it will work."
Rarity ran her hoof through my mane. "I'm right here for you, Candy."
"I guess it would be too much to have you with me when I meet her?" I asked.
"This was the most complex of potions bar none," said Zecora. "Thus far I can bind it to only one."
I picked up the flask in my magic. "How does it work?"
"It forges a link between you and the pendant, letting your spirit visit the realm within it without actually leaving your body," said Twilight. "You'll sort of be in two places at once, much like how Cherry appeared to you without actually leaving the pendant."
I stared at the bubbling potion. Having Michelle carry on as merely a memory suddenly seemed easier, almost preferable. Would I see her only as a ghost, just a faded remnant despite Zecora's claims to the contrary?
I took a deep breath and lifted the flask. Twilight lighted her horn and said, "Ready?"
I let the breath go as a ragged sigh. "Ready."
She dipped her head, and the pendant suffused the room with light. I closed my eyes and brought the flask to my lips. The potion tasted slightly sweet and a bit fizzy, but otherwise it felt almost like drinking air. I finished it, lowered the flask ...
... and the world went stark white.
Place and direction eluded me. I barely sensed my own self. For a panicked moment, I felt ripped from my body despite Twilight's claims, and now I existed as little more than a wisp of free-floating consciousness. The sensation passed almost as quickly as it had come when the whiteness dissipated like fog.
I stood and swayed at the unfamiliar sensation of standing on two feet. I looked down at my hands, flexing fingers that felt far more real than they ever had in my dreams. Tall and vibrantly green grass rustled as I stepped forward. Across a gently rolling field, a castle rose against a backdrop of gorgeous snow-topped mountains. Golden sunlight warmed the air, and water softly flowed somewhere nearby.
"Hello, Rachel."
I whirled around, and my heart leapt into my throat. I trembled as the purple-clad vision I had seen in the White Tail Woods, now looking as solid as I felt, stood and smiled.
"M ... M-Michelle ..." I breathed.
She stepped towards me, her bare feet whisper-quiet against the grass. Her beautiful blond hair glowed in the bright sunlight, crowning her head like a halo. Part of me insisted she could not be real; the rest of me didn't care. My vision blurred as I bolted towards her and threw my arms around her. The warmth of her body against mine as she embraced me robbed me of words, and all I could do was cry, my tears wetting her robe.
Michelle heaved a sigh, and her arms tightened around me. "I am so very sorry I caused you all this grief. Please, forgive me."
"It's not your fault," I croaked. "It was all that f-fucking changeling ..."
"There's more to it than that. You really don't know the whole story."
I drew back enough to look at her face, though I could not stop the tears. I wiped my eyes as best I could. "First you have to tell me. Are you real? Are you actually alive??"
Michelle smiled faintly. My vision cleared enough for me to see the bittersweet look in her eyes. "Am I real? Yes. Am I alive? I want to think I am in some way. I still have my memories. I still think. I still feel. Even if I'm confined to this place, I ..." Her eyes clouded, and she averted her gaze in a very Fluttershy-like gesture. It went perfectly with her voice, never rising above a simple, soft cadence that I could listen to for hours. "Well, never mind my woes right now."
I blinked away a few remaining tears. "What woes? A-are you okay?"
She gave me a lopsided smile. "Other than losing my mortal body, you mean?"
I blushed. "I didn't mean ... I-I'm sorry, I'm always saying the wrong thing around you. I--"
"No, shh, stop. You've come a long way since you arrived in Equestria, Rachel. You've really started to mature. Don't toss that away on my account."
My lips twitched into a nervous smile. I always saw Michelle as the wiser one despite being only two years older. Maybe I had seen Rarity that way at first, preventing me from standing up for myself.
I glanced at the castle in the distance as she gently broke off the embrace. "What is this place? Am I really inside the pendant?"
"Sort of." Michelle shielded her eyes from the sun, a simple gesture that made her feel all that more real. "More like a tiny pocket universe the pendant can access. This is a conjured piece of Equestria from long ago, at least as Starswirl remembers it."
"Is that the castle from Twilight's dream?"
"Yes."
I gasped. "You were the one inside the locked room!"
Michelle smiled. "I thought it best I didn't appear to Twilight first. I do feel bad for going along with Starswirl's plan to trick the Princess into supplying the energy needed for me to appear to you in the forest, but it was necessary." Her smile faded. "At least I convinced Starswirl to let me meet you out here. He can be ... a bit set in his ways sometimes."
I tilted my head. "Wait, I just realized something. Are we speaking English?"
"Mostly, yes."
"Then why did you speak archaic Equestrian to me back in the forest?"
"Because that's what Starswirl knows the language as, so that's what he taught me," said Michelle. "Your pony form wouldn't have understood English, not with the way Discord had rewired your brain to work with your new body. In your spirit form, you can understand both."
"Is Starswirl really just an avatar like Twilight thought?"
Michelle nodded. "Yes, though he has, well, grown somewhat since then. But he still is only an impression."
"But you're not," I said in a voice both hopeful and fearful.
Michelle gave me a sad look. "No, I'm not."
I stepped towards her. "Michelle, what happened? How did your spirit get here? How is it even possible?"
"I'll answer your last question first," said Michelle. "Because that was the original purpose of the pendant. Starswirl had designed it specifically to contain a living spirit."
"B-but Twilight was convinced even he couldn't do that!"
"She was wrong."
My head spun. "Why would he even do something like that? Chrysalis almost used it to suck out everyone's emotions! The damn thing is dangerous!"
I realized the irony of my statement; had it not been for this "dangerous" artifact, I wouldn't be speaking to Michelle.
Michelle sighed. "He won't tell me why he ... or rather why the original Starswirl did it. He seems almost too embarrassed to talk about it."
"So he never had any intention of speaking to Twilight."
Michelle shook her head. "That's what I meant about feeling bad about tricking Twilight."
"But was that the only reason you had her do it?" I asked. "To appear to me in the forest and warn me about--"
"About the changeling Sevfivtoo, yes."
I tilted my head. "Wait, what? Sevfivtoo? That's the changeling's name?"
"Yes. His companion is Wuntusix."
"Um, Michelle? Those sound more like numbers."
"Let's just say Queen Chrysalis is rather uninventive in naming her drones."
My heart thumped. "Sevfivtoo ... she was the one who killed you?"
Michelle nodded. "She was also the one who arranged for the incident in the alley."
I frowned. "Yeah, I figured that out. Same reason why she drained you, to get the pendant."
"She wasn't expecting you to show up that soon," said Michelle. "Even though I was near death, she assumed you had already contacted the police, so she put the memory block on you and escaped."
I shuddered. Though I already knew how events had played out, hearing her describe them with such equanimity sent a chill down my spine. How could she speak of such a thing so casually when my stomach still clenched at the memory? "So is this changeling trying to kill me again?"
"I'm not sure. I had to assume so when I appeared to you." Michelle paused, and her eyes became sad. "Which makes me feel worse when I think of what could've happened to little Sweetie Belle."
"Huh? But she was all right."
"Yes, but not because of anything I did." Michelle sighed. "I-I had to make a decision, Rachel. Just as I was about to appear to you, I saw Sweetie Belle go off on her own. I realized too late she was walking right into the changelings' camp."
My heart lurched. That filly really did feel like a little sister to me.
Michelle averted her eyes. "I thought for sure she would be captured and replaced. At best. That she was instead allowed to find the camp and Strong Wing ... I don't know quite what Sev's game is now. All I know is that she must be stopped."
I stared at her, hardly daring to believe the implication. Perhaps if this had been before my arrival in Equestria, I would have simply accepted it. Instead, all I could think of was how I had let a bunch of kids roll over me and precipitate the confrontation in the first place. "And ... y-you're expecting me to do it?!"
"Rachel ..."
"No, let me finish! No one across any number of goddamn universes wants to see some sort of justice against that fucking changeling more than me. But I can't do something like this alone."
Michelle stepped towards me and laid her hands on my shoulders. "I'm not asking you to. You have friends you can call on for help, remember?"
For the first time for as long as I could recall, I wanted to pull away from her. "Why is this so important? Ponyville is too much on guard now. The changelings can't get in without being noticed."
"She's much more powerful than an ordinary drone," said Michelle. "Don't underestimate her. Tell Twilight everything I've told you. Let her decide what to do next."
I sighed and lowered my gaze. "I wish I didn't have to deal with this anymore."
She squeezed my shoulders. "I know, Rachel, but Sev may pull you back into this whether you want it or not. You need to be prepared for that." In a softer, slightly quavering voice she added, "I don't want you ever to be put into my position."
I looked up. "You still haven't told me exactly how that happened."
Michelle's hands dropped to her sides, and she uttered a long, soft sigh. She turned away and took a few steps, looking off towards the castle again.
My heart raced. I had seen her look this despondent only once before, when she had first told me she had wanted to help the drug addicts in her old neighborhood, and I had just told her flat-out that she was crazy. "What is it?"
Michelle lowered her gaze. "You know by now that the pendant has always been an Equestrian magical relic, right?"
I nodded.
"Starswirl did everything in his power not to draw attention to that, but when he sensed a changeling affecting me, he felt he had to do something. He tried to contact me mentally, but I was too far under Sev's thrall. When it became apparent that I was going to be drained and ... and killed ... he felt such guilt that Equestria had been responsible that he activated the magic in the pendant and drew my spirit in as it left my dying body."
My lower lip quivered. That terrible moment in the apartment came back to me in cold, cruel clarity. My eyes threatened to tear up. For a fleeting moment, I hated Starswirl. Why didn't he say something to me? Why hadn't he communicated with me if only to reassure me that Michelle was still with me? "That's who you were talking to when you were dy ... wh-when ..."
"Yes," Michelle said. She still would not meet my eyes.
"So that's it?" I ventured gently. "That's the whole story?"
Michelle paused a long moment. "Not quite."
I remained silent, my heart pounding.
"Do you remember how you came to be in Equestria, Rachel?"
I rolled my eyes. "It's not something I'm going to forget anytime soon. But I know where you're going with this. I've already made my peace with what Starswirl did."
Michelle turned her head towards me. "And what do you think he did?"
"He made the pendant shock my hand in the alley. Yeah, okay, I was really upset over being in a weird body and an even weirder world, but that was Discord's doing, and ... um ..."
I trailed off when Michelle looked away again.
"O-okay, what the hell's wrong, Michelle?" I cried in a quavering voice.
"Rachel, do you remember what happened right before you felt the shock?"
I sighed in exasperation. "Michelle, what difference does it make?"
"You felt something like static electricity."
"No, I ... um ... wait ..."
~~~
I suppressed a gasp when a flashlight beam pierced the damp gloom. I swallowed hard and remained rock still, or at least I tried. It was hard to do when I was trembling hard enough that I could hear it.
For a moment, my hair rose, as if I had grabbed one of those static electric generators. It faded as quickly as it had come, but it made my skin crawl, and I felt like something had passed near me.
~~~
"... okay, yeah, maybe I did."
"That was Discord," said Michelle. "Passing by you, because he didn't see the pendant at first."
I stared. "He was looking for it himself? Well, wait, that's not a huge surprise. I figured out pretty early on he had his own agenda and--"
"Rachel, did you hear me?" Michelle said in a louder voice. "He didn't see the pendant at first."
I fell silent.
Michelle frowned. "He didn't see it because Starswirl was actively shielding against it. Starswirl trusted Discord even less than he trusted the changelings. Since he's only an avatar, he has only the knowledge of the time he was placed into the pendant and anything he personally witnessed afterward."
"And so did you," I said in a weak voice.
Michelle remained silent.
My throat became tight, but I forced the words out anyway, and I tried not to make it sound like an accusation to little avail. "You knew only what he did!"
"I also knew you were dead if someone didn't do something," said Michelle in a tight voice. "I argued with Starswirl. I pleaded with him. I begged of him. Finally, I had to take matters into my own hands."
I swallowed hard, and my throat clicked. "Y-you ... you ..."
"I gave the pendant the jolt you felt."
My legs felt weak. "And drew the attention of the men after me ..."
Michelle turned towards me, her eyes wet. "And drew Discord's attention. I didn't mean for the other to happen. The timing was just bad. But they would've found you anyway, and you'd be dead. This semi-life I have in this pendant wouldn't have been worth it if I had to watch you die!"
"Like I watched you die?!" I screamed.
Michelle's eyes shimmered as she stared at me.
I forced myself to take a deep breath, but my hands remained curled into fists. I turned away. I had no business feeling any sort of anger towards her. I wasn't reacting to her but the situation, yet I had no way to put my feelings into words.
"Rachel, I'm sorry," Michelle said softly.
I shook my head, though I remained turned away. "N-no, it's fine. I ... I have a better life now. I do. I wish you could meet Fluttershy. She reminds me so much of you, even if she's a lot more shy than you ever were. And Rarity ... I ... I l-love her like a mother ... but ..." I whirled around. "But I shouldn't!"
Michelle stared. "I'm sorry?"
"I shouldn't feel that way towards her!" I yelled. "I've only known her for a month! Am I that desperate to replace my real mother?!"
"Rachel ..."
"Am I going to kick my old mother to the curb and replace her with someone who isn't even her species?!"
"Rachel, please, stop."
I couldn't. I wasn't mature enough. Instead, fresh tears ran down my face. "Wh-why couldn't he save her?" I whimpered in a tiny voice as I fell to my knees. "Why couldn't S-Starswirl reach out from the pendant like he did with you and s-save her? Maybe if the d-damn changelings had tried to kill her instead he would've done something ..."
Michelle dropped to her knees beside me, pulling me into an embrace.
I had no idea how long I stayed there. Four years of pent-up grief poured forth in a grassy field in a little pocket universe itself part of a greater universe so far removed from my original home that it rendered the term "distance" meaningless. It was about as much separation as I had placed between myself and my own feelings towards my mother's death.
It gave me no answers for why my mother did what she did, but often there never were. Those answers no longer mattered. I had no one to blame for what happened to my mother other than my mother herself. My stomach turned at the idea that I had harbored some secret hope that perhaps I could blame changelings for her death as well.
I didn't want to blame anyone anymore. I just wanted to remember her. I just didn't know how.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel, maybe I should've pushed you more into expressing this when we were still on Earth," Michelle whispered.
I sniffled and lifted my head. "No, you couldn't do everything for me. I h-have to do things for myself. I'm finally learning that."
"You're not letting anyone replace your mother," Michelle said. "That will never happen. I'm sure Rarity knows that."
I nodded as I stood. "She's said as much."
"But that doesn't mean you can't look to her as one."
"Even if I can't quite bring myself to call her that yet?"
Michelle smiled. "I don't think she'll mind so long as she knows you care about her."
I wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come here just to blubber all over you."
Michelle cradled my cheek in her hand. "It's all right. I wish I could be there for you like I used to."
I leaned into the touch. My heart ached when I realized that only this odd magical limbo let me experience this simple gesture of affection and friendship. "I almost can't believe you're just a spirit, Michelle."
"But I am," said Michelle in a soft voice. "Even as real as I feel, that's all that's left of me."
"Is that what you meant by semi-life?"
Michelle nodded. "I can't leave this place. I doubt even the original Starswirl could conjure a new body for me. It took me a long time to make my peace with that. For a while, I hated Starswirl for saving me."
My eyes started to tear again.
"No, Rachel, please. Don't cry over me. You really don't need me anymore."
I gasped. "Wh-what?! But--!"
"You have a lot of friends now who would help you in a heartbeat."
My throat tightened. "Th-this ... this isn't goodbye, is it?!"
Michelle averted her eyes and lowered her gaze. My heart seemed to stop in the wake of her brooding silence. She turned her head toward me, her hair falling over one eye in an even more uncanny resemblance to Fluttershy. "No, Rachel, it's not. But I'm sensing you think things can return to the way they once were between us. They can't."
I took a step towards her and balled my hands into fists. "Why the hell not?!"
Michelle gave me a forlorn look, and I turned away, clenching my teeth to suppress the sob that would have otherwise escaped. I knew the answer to my own question.
"O-okay, fine," I snapped. "You don't have a body anymore. But why can't we talk like this again?"
Michelle smiled wanly. "I'm not saying we can't. You just can't rely on me as you did before."
I quelled the urge to yell at her again. So ironic that I had only just enjoyed some measure of independence with Rarity, and now I wanted to regress to my childhood self, always looking to Michelle to help me solve my problems. Maybe in a way she had become a surrogate mother for me long before Rarity ever did.
Maybe I had relied on her too much after all.
"And here I thought you would resent me," said Michelle.
I stared. "Resent you? For what? Oh ... you mean ..."
"For effectively sending you to Equestria."
I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm past that. Or trying to get past that, anyway. And, well, I meant what I said earlier. I do have a better life here. Even if I have more hair to care for than I ever had in my life. Maybe I should be glad Discord didn't make me into a pegasus or I'd have feathers to deal with on top of that."
Michelle giggled softly, and I smiled. I could never hear that sound and not feel better. "I do rather like your Equestrian name, Candy Swirl."
I giggled weakly and blushed. "I hope you're okay with the one I came up for you."
"Cherry is a lovely name, thank you." Michelle rolled her eyes. "Better than the ones Starswirl tried to come up with."
I laughed. "That bad?"
"Let's just say his tastes are as archaic as his language."
My smile widened, at least until I noticed a white fog settling around us. Michelle drew close to me. "Our connection is weakening. Zecora's potion must be wearing off."
"But there's so much more I want to say to you!" I cried as Michelle pulled me into a hug.
"I'm sure we'll talk again, Rachel," she whispered.
I squeezed my eyes shut against tears and hugged her fiercely back. "I wish I could do something for you. I w-wish I knew a way you could come back for real."
Everything around us began to fade to white. Michelle broke off the embrace and stepped back. "Don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself. You deserve some joy in your life."
What had been an experience I had dreaded I now didn't want to end as I watched Michelle fade away with the rest of the landscape, as if she had been just a ghost all along, or this just a dream. I tried to reach out to her one last time, only to be plunged into stark, cold white ...
... which suddenly became warm, marshmallow white.
I blinked rapidly as I found myself in a tight embrace. I thought I had managed to reach Michelle before our connection was broken, until I realized I was back in my pony body.
"She's coming out of it!" I heard Twilight say.
"Huh?" I said in a thick voice. My face felt wet.
"Oh, thank Celestia!" I heard Rarity's quavering voice. She broke off her embrace and looked into my face. "Are you all right?"
"Um, yes, I think so." My eyes widened. Rarity's own eyes looked wet. "Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry, dear, you ... you started crying and wouldn't stop for what seemed like such a long time. I was worried something had happened to you."
My lips twitched into a smile, and I gave her a hug. "I was crying, but it's okay. I think I needed to."
"Now that your communing is at an end," I heard Zecora say. "Did you indeed see your dear friend?"
I gave Rarity a reassuring smile before turning towards Zecora. "Yes, I did." I placed a hoof delicately over the pendant. "It's her. It really is her spirit in the pendant."
Twilight gave me a stunned look. "But ... d-did she tell you why Starswirl did it? Or even how he managed it? Did you even have a chance to talk to Starswirl himself?!"
"Twilight, please," said Rarity. "Candy has had a bit of a traumatic experience. Can you go a little easy on her?"
Twilight sighed and lowered her head. "You're right. I'm terribly sorry, Candy."
I shook my head. "No, it's fine. In fact, please, let me tell you everything that happened while I still remember it. She told me some important information about the changelings and Discord's involvement."
Rarity turned to Twilight. "Since this sounds important, then may I suggest that you contact the rest of our friends and have them meet us at the castle later? That will at least give Candy some time to relax."
I doubted I could ever truly relax after what I had just experienced. I didn't care. Just knowing Michelle was still with me in some way lifted a burden from me, even in the wake of the brewing storm of questions I was sure would follow.
"Yes, of course," said Twilight. "We'll meet at the castle later this morning."
So, I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to get kinda dark. Starswirl meant for the pendant to house a full spirit, and by the looks of things, Michelle was not the spirit he wanted. So, who did he intend to capture with it?
I'm just saying, a lot of fics involving Starswirl, his spirit, and ancient artifacts he created tend to have Starswirl be a malevolent force.
Well this just got interesting... So Michelle/Cherry was sorta responsible for Candy being in Equestria...
This story never ceases to amaze me. Hyped for more!
7174794 Old Beardy is up to something, alright. But the real question is: Who's spirit in the human world did he need to capture?
7174902 Was it even meant to capture a human?
I remember, in one timeloop story starring Sweetie Belle, Starswirl originally created the time loop spell to trap the Princesses and either destroy them or take their powers.
Btw, I'm loving Jewel of the Jungle.
7174929 Why else would the amulet be in the human world? Or the changelings for that matter.
Gah! Speculating always gives me a headache. I'll just be patient and let the author tell me. I'm probably way off anyway. roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/mlp_rolleyes.png
As for Jewel, thank you. I would have liked to have made another chapter for it this month, but I got caught up in another project. It too is M-rated so I can't link it directly, but check it out if you like Spike x Ember ship fics.
7174957 If you had an uber-powerful amulet that could be the next potential world-ender, and a plan to use it, wouldn't you hide it somewhere your foes (and allies) would never find it?
And as for your other story, already put it on read later. Didn't even realize you wrote it when I did.
7174794 Considering how he gave up his chance to save a life out of pity, I think the original target was a villain that Starswirl wished to trap.
7174962
I get that a lot. More than I care to admit. roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/facehoof.png
Candy really needs to learn that morning for the loss of your only parent has nothing to do with her maturity level. In fact, morning the loss of ANY friend does not make you any less mature, it makes you normal sapient creature.
7175088 vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/b/bf/Audience-clapping.gif/revision/latest?cb=20111222140534
Bravo, good sir, bravo. Well played.
Much better lines for Zecora! Seriously, night and day from the last chapter. Very well done.
Story wise, I like the mix of answers and questions. It feels very real and lets the story evolve while still keeping us chomping at the bit for the next chapter.
Maybe Starswirl's original design was to capture his own spirit, possibly as a way to possibly live forever? MIchelle can't do much as a spirit, but what about a highly-trained and extremely powerful unicorn? That's one possible idea, and everyone else is coming up with great ideas, too. S'nice when a fic makes you think, innit fellow readers?
Michelle, don't underestimate Twilight or even Discord. They just might find a way to give you a body.
Somehow, Sevfivtoo sounds a lot like Mephisto. Fitting.
And why would Starswirl create a way for a spirit to live forever?
Living forever would give one a long time to study and create even the most complex of spells, like the one that made Twilight ascend. Maybe he wanted to ascend and intended to use the pendant on himself? Just that something went very wrong.
I love this story... it gives you so much to speculate on but keeps surprising you with unexpected twists. Well done, well done.
7175798 Was thinking that as well.
Lazy bug mom. I can really feel the love there.
I can agree with her there. This is feeling a bit fast. I've actually wondered in places if this might be some residual effect left behind by Discord, because she really is getting attached blindingly fast. It's not really much of a criticism, because on the whole, I'm not terribly fond of stories that space everything out behind endless timeskips. Given this actual estimate of the timeframe so far, though, I honestly can't quite decide if I'd prefer it just being a desperate orphan latching onto the first mother figure available or if I want it to be something more.
It also makes me wonder who she's going to get attached to as a father figure. Those tend to be somewhat forgotten about in this kind of story.
7176140
I find that unlikely. Unless Rarity is gay in this story there are precisely zero characters that Rarity interacts with in any way that she’s close enough to for her to let them slip into the father role for Candy. It’s far more likely that Candy ends up with one or more of the mane six taking on the role of “aunts”.
Probably because most protagonist adoptees are adopted by one of the mane six and people tend to avoid writing the mane six being in a serious relationship at the outset of a completely new story. I can think of a few stories where the adoptive parent isn’t one of the mane six but even then it’s usually a single mare.
7176277
Who said anything about Rarity needing to be in a relationship with the person? People pick father figures from all over their life.
Hmm... I don't suppose this is an option?
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/zelda/images/e/ec/Phantom.png/revision/latest?cb=20091122190830
7176282
1. There are practically no stallions in Ponyville that could qualify for that position and will ever interact with Candy enough to do so unless they were to get into a serious relationship with Rarity.
2. While men who aren’t involved with a child’s mother often fill the role of a father figure it’s practically unheard of for a woman to fill that same role unless she is involved with the mother.
3. Most women who could potentially qualify as a father figure tend to act more like a second, slightly sterner mother figure instead. Those who don’t tend to slip into that role tend to slip into the big sister or aunt role instead.
Taking all that into account I simply do not see Candy getting a father figure without a dramatic shift in the story or the abrupt introduction of a new character.
7176428
You know, I find you vaguely annoying right now. Did your daddy not hug you enough or why are you overinterpreting and speculating so much into an idle comment? There are exactly as many male characters as the story needs. Those which aren't already established can be created. There can be new ones introduced from the outside town. It could be one of the guards. It could be Mr. Cake. It could be Big Mac. It could even be the Starswirl Simulacrum. There is an abundant selection there. Just because you have preconceived notions doesn't mean anyone else has to share them.
7176339 good idea, but I'm thinking more along the lines of this
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/fma/images/1/17/AlphonseSnapshot.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20111111140615
Maybe she'll end up as a sort of shoulder angel or something.
7176428
Candy: "Rarity? Can I--?"
Rarity: "Sigh. I'd rather you not. But go ask your father."
Candy: "ok. Rainbow? Can I--?"
Rainbow: "Sure! Why not?"
Rarity: "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!"
Yeah. I can't see a downside to this ♪♫
Wait Starswirl was embarrassed by his reasoning to his creation of the pendent. Does that mean that he wanted to capture his own soul in an effort to try to be immortal so that he could be with Celestia for all eternity like how some fics have him. If so that would be adorable and funny as hell, though obviously this was a dead end since it didn't work like that. Also, Chrysalis is really bad at names and I thought the bad changeling that murdered was male.... could have sworn the author stated that in an earlier chapter.
7175556
Thanks, I'm glad you noticed the improvement. I hope to have some time soon to polish up her lines in the previous chapter.
7176140
7176277
The point about a father figure is an interesting one. Rachel is so used to not having a father in her life (I believe I had mentioned in a previous chapter that her parents divorced while she was quite young), that it's not something she's been specifically looking for, which is why it hasn't come up in the story. I toyed with the idea now and then, but no male character is presenting himself as a father figure that fits in with the flow of the story so far, and I was hoping to keep additional OCs to a minimum.
7176416
One of the reasons I'd never want to become a pony myself
7181341
Yeah, I think I answered that earlier. She's smaller than an adult, but closer to adult size than she is to CMC size.
Also, I always saw the mane six as being in their early twenties, but that's largely my own headcanon. I don't recall it being "officially" established what their ages are.
7175143
Yes, exactly. She's still learning exactly what "maturity" means. The fact that she's the narrator of the story means she'll come out with things like this that she will realize later are not quite right.
7182812
No, that changeling was female. If I did refer to her as male, it was likely a misplaced pronoun that I didn't catch during editing.
7186443
In my experience, it's often the other way around than one would think: girls have a stronger relationship with their father, while boys have one with their mother. Kids who grow up with only one parent tend to latch onto replacements the strongest. If you don't have one available or weren't planning for one that's fine too, though. It was just one of those idle thoughts.
I'm totally fine with Michelle speaking to Candy through the pendant. I can just see Candy giggling at a human joke Michelle makes and the Crusaders giving her strange looks.
7174794 my guess? Could be Discord or perhaps Windigos if it's as attractive to them as it is to Changelings
im really glad my friend recomened this story to me its really good
7209133
Well, discord isn’t known as the spirit if chaos for no reason.