I tried not to fidget, but I could not stop my tail from swishing back and forth as Rarity stepped around the ponyquin, the slow clop of her hooves the only sound as she scrutinized my work. Upon the ponyquin sat an old dress one of her patrons had traded in for a new one, and Rarity had set me to work on it as if for an actual commission to spruce up the dress.
I finally had to speak. "I even tried to patch up a few holes. It was tricky but ..."
"Mm, yes, I noticed," Rarity murmured in that infuriatingly neutral tone that never gave me any indication what she was thinking.
"I got the fabric color as close as possible, but, um ..."
"Yes, indeed," said Rarity without looking up. "The original fabric was discontinued, and the dye process changed for its replacement. They say it's the same color, but to the trained eye, it's clearly not."
"So that's a problem here, too? Even with magic?"
"Unfortunately."
That problem often vexed my mother. As much as she enjoyed making new designs, she liked to churn out older, popular designs at a discount to keep sales up. She occasionally had to switch fabrics, and precisely matching the colors frustrated her. While customers rarely noticed, it mattered a great deal to her.
Rarity finally turned to face me, smiling. "Candy, this is excellent work."
I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you."
"The gems you chose for the accents are just a touch garish, but your seamstress ability is solid. You have a good eye for delicate work. I almost couldn't see some of the stitches you used. And despite the fact that I generally don't advocate patch-work -- since it never quite comes out right as you learned -- it was a good exercise for you, and they came out as well as can be hoped for."
My smile widened. I didn't even mind the criticism concerning the gems, as she had no quibble with how I had attached them, which was what really mattered to me.
"Now, there's just one more thing." Rarity glanced about and frowned. "Oh, where is Sweetie Belle? I asked her to retrieve that box of lace ten minutes ago. Sweetie Belle!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" came a harried voice from just outside the room. Sweetie trotted into the room, her ears drooping as a box shuddered in her magical grip.
"You okay?" I asked.
Sweetie set down the box and fell to her haunches. "Yeah, just a little tired."
I smirked. "We seem to be trading that problem between us these last few days."
She smiled. "Um, yeah. Weird, huh?"
My sleep rhythms had been off a bit in a kind of weird reverse synchronization to hers. When she was perky, I was tired, and vice versa.
"Candy, you're just about at the point where I can have you doing simple alterations for our customers," said Rarity. "In fact, you did such a good job on this dress, I'm thinking of showing it to Bon Bon to cheer her up."
I tilted my head. "This is Bon Bon's dress? Um, isn't she Lyra's friend?"
I had not heard a word about Lyra since Rarity had spoken to Twilight a few days ago. I had kept myself focused on my dressmaking skills so I wouldn't think on it too hard.
Rarity sighed. "Yes, and she's been rather upset lately because of the scrutiny on Lyra. Apparently somepony revealed the suspicions concerning her, and neither are very happy about it."
"Why is Lyra still loose if she's a changeling?" Sweetie Belle asked.
I frowned. "That's kinda what I wanted to ask."
Rarity levitated the box of lace. "Twilight is still investigating, and she's been distracted lately by ..." She trailed off as she peered into the box. "Oh, Sweetie, this is the wrong box! This lace is buttercream yellow, not buttermilk yellow!"
"Oh, sorry." Sweetie Belle rose to her hooves. "I'll go get the right one."
"Honestly, you need to pay more attention."
"I said I was sorry," Sweetie murmured as she trotted out of the room.
My gaze lingered on her. "Huh. Maybe she really is tired if she's having trouble distinguishing colors."
Rarity set down the box. "Well, she's never had as keen an eye for it as I have, but I'm a little concerned for her just the same. Perhaps she's more upset about what happened on the train than she's letting on."
"She did admit to feeling more scared about the bugbear and the changeling than her friends were," I said. "I'll talk to her more about it."
"Please, do." She turned towards another ponyquin. "But first, let's take care of this."
I stepped over to her, my tail twitching. On the ponyquin sat the lone dress I owned.
"I was thinking earlier that red is such a good color for you, yet it's a bit too bold for fall wear," Rarity explained. "I'm so hoping that I'll be able to open a boutique in Canterlot by then, and if so, there may be a formal function or two that you can attend."
"I really don't want the dress altered," I said.
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it, dear. I know how much this dress means to you. I want to make a new one along similar lines, but with some accents to tone down its boldness. I wanted to hold bits of lace and other materials against it to see what it looked like."
I nodded and smiled. "That sounds fine."
"Here you go, Rarity," said Sweetie as she entered the room, another box levitated before her. She held it steadier than the last one, but her face looked strained.
"Just set it down," said Rarity.
The bell from the front door chimed. "Do you want me to see who that is?" I asked.
"In a minute." Rarity levitated some bits of lace from the box. "Yes, this is the right color." She looked at the dress, a run of lace drifting towards me. "Trim this down a bit, please."
"Okay," Sweetie Belle and I said in unison.
I realized Sweetie had responded only after I had already reached out with my magic for the large scissors on the craft table. Before I could say anything, she grabbed it as well, and our magical auras overlapped and fought each other.
I felt a sudden, inexplicable chill radiate down my spine. I recoiled both physically and mentally, yanking the scissors hard just as Sweetie gasped and let go.
"Look out!" I yelled.
"My stars, what?!" Rarity cried, rearing back as the shears barely avoided clipping her muzzle.
A split second later, I heard a heart-wrenching rip.
"Oh, dear!" Rarity cried.
"I'm sorry!" Sweetie cried in a shrill voice. "It was an accident! Please, Candy, don't be mad at me!"
I sighed and stared at the ragged hole torn in the side panel of the dress, my ears drooping. I stepped closer to it, my movement stirring the air, several loose threads waving in the gap. The force of the blow had ripped some of the stitching along the edge.
"I didn't mean it, Candy, I'm sorry," Sweetie whimpered, her eyes glistening.
"It's not your fault," I said in a weak voice.
Rarity sighed and placed a hoof on my shoulder. "I'll replace it."
I shook my head. "No, it's ... don't bother, I ..."
I heard hoof-falls in the hallway. "Is everypony okay?" came Fluttershy's voice.
I turned my head and gave Fluttershy a forlorn look.
Fluttershy's gaze flicked from pony to pony. "Um, did I come at a bad time?"
Rarity stepped over to her. "No, darling, it's fine. What brings you here today?"
"Well, um, I had an idea for how we can figure this thing out with Lyra, and I thought Candy would want to come along." Her eyes flicked over to me. "And, well, Kevin is at the castle."
I frowned. My day was apparently going from good to bad to worse.
Fluttershy's ears drew back. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, I just--"
"No, I'll come," I said. I started across the room only to be intercepted by a hug from Sweetie Belle.
"Please tell me you're not mad at me," she whispered in a quavering voice.
I sighed and closed my eyes, hugging her back. "I'm not mad at you. It really was just an accident."
She smiled as I broke off the embrace.
"I'm going to get Applejack," said Rarity. "She wanted to be present when Kevin was interviewed. Come along, Sweetie."
"Huh?" Sweetie said. "Me?"
"I don't want to leave you alone. I'll be dropping you off at Sweet Apple Acres. If we see Scootaloo along the way, we'll invite her to come along so you can be with your Crusader friends."
"But Candy and I were supposed to spend the rest of the day together," said Sweetie.
"We will, I promise," I said with a faint smile.
Stepping into the council room of the castle felt like a trip into the past, as the Cutie Map was activated. I puzzled over this as my gaze scanned Equestria and came up empty. Only once I found a mountainous region well-outside its borders did I see the familiar cloud-and-lightning bolt and tri-balloon symbols spinning slowly around a high peak.
"Candy, I'm back," said Fluttershy from behind me as she stepped into the room. I heard another set of hoof-beats beside her. I turned around and ...
... This was Fluttershy's idea??
"Totally righteous to see you again, Candy," said Tree Hugger.
"Um, yeah, same here," I murmured.
Fluttershy smiled. "Since she had sensed something was off with Miss Cheerilee the other day, I thought she might be able to help here, too. Especially after she was able to calm the Smooze at the Gala."
I blinked. "She did what now?"
"I helped him get it together and find his groove again," said Tree Hugger. "Do you need the same thing?"
"I, uh ... no! That's not why I'm here."
"Bummer. Your vibe is off a bit. Just not resonating harmoniously with your chakras."
Fluttershy glanced at her. "Really? What do you think is wrong with--"
"Look, never mind my vibe!" I snapped. "Where's Twilight? I want to get this thing with Kevin over and done with."
"I'm right here, Candy," came Twilight's voice from the hall, though again I heard two sets of hooves.
My ears drew back when I saw Twilight trot into the room with Lyra on one side and Spike on the other. My legs tensed as if I intended to bolt. I narrowed my eyes as I stared at Lyra.
Twilight smiled. "Good, everypony is here. Now we can clear up this matter."
"I really hope so, Twilight," Lyra said. "I finally had everypony convinced it was the real me. I want to know who started this again so I can give that pony a piece of my mind."
I clenched my teeth to suppress a retort.
"Um, maybe who's behind it is not important," Fluttershy said nervously.
"I'm sorry I haven't spoken with you recently, Candy," said Twilight. She swept a foreleg towards the map. "I got interrupted by this."
"So Rainbow and Pinkie are not around?" I asked.
"They're on their way to the griffin kingdom to deal with a friendship problem."
I sighed. "Of course they are."
Twilight turned away and approached Tree Hugger, who smiled and said, "Totally radical place you have here, Twilight. Like, it's got such a harmonious groove. My chakras are so blissed-out right now."
Lyra cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Spike. Spike just spread his claws and shrugged.
"Why, thank you," Twilight said. "Um, I think. Anyway, I thought you might want to meet somepony new."
"Righteous!" Tree Hugger said.
"So, without further ado, Tree Hugger, this is Lyra Heartstrings. Lyra, this is Tree Hugger."
"Um, hi," said Lyra.
Tree Hugger approached her. "Oh, wow, I am, like, totally digging your vibe."
"Er ... okay?"
"You've got a groove so much like Candy's, it's just totally out there but so grounded and fresh."
Lyra lowered her head towards Spike. "Do you have any idea what's she saying?"
"Not a clue," Spike deadpanned.
"Are you into new grooves and radical energies?" Tree Hugger said. "Because I'm totally getting that from you."
Lyra's pupils shrank. "I beg your pardon?"
Fluttershy smiled. "She means she thinks you're into exotic things. That's how Tree Hugger and I connected. She recognized my interest in creatures like the Breezies."
"Oh, even more way out there than that, Fluttershy," said Tree Hugger. "It's almost cosmic."
Lyra blushed. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about! I'm not interested in exotic creatures! Or exotic anything for that matter! Um, Twilight, am I done here?"
Twilight's gaze shifted between Lyra and Tree Hugger. "Yes, I think so. Sorry for all the trouble, Lyra."
My mouth dropped open.
Lyra uttered a sigh of relief. "It's fine, Twilight. And, uh, nice to meet you, Tree Hugger, but I gotta go."
Tree Hugger smiled. "Peace."
"Er, yeah, whatever." Lyra turned and galloped away.
"You're just letting her go?!" I cried.
Twilight sighed and turned towards me. "Candy, she's not a changeling."
I stared. "You're not serious! You decided that based on what Tree Hugger said?"
"That, and all the other checking I did. And, yes, I'm taking into account what you suggested to Rarity, that Sevfivtoo found a way around my magic again."
I sighed and looked away.
"Candy, if it helps any, you were right to bring this to us," Twilight said.
I quelled my urge to protest that it did no good because I had been ignored. I had to be better than that. Think, don't emote. "Do you at least agree that something strange happened?"
"Yes, I do."
I turned my gaze towards her. "So what are you going to do about it?"
Twilight hesitated. "Let me get back to that later."
I frowned. "Why can't you tell me now?"
"I want Rarity and Applejack to hear this as well," said Twilight. "And I want to talk to Kevin first."
"Fine," I grumbled.
Fluttershy stepped up to me. "Candy? Twilight's doing everything she can."
I again quelled a nasty response. Nothing they ever did seemed to be enough.
"The others should be in the library by now," said Twilight. "We can go talk to Kevin."
My heart pounded, and I didn't bother to hide the look of contempt on my face. "All right. I'll see you later, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy swallowed. "I'm .... I-I'm going with you."
"But you said the other day--"
"I know. That's why I have to do this." She paused. "And I want to be there for you."
I smiled faintly and drew her into a hug.
"So much love," Tree Hugger said in a soft voice. "So totally groovy."
I recoiled when I saw it. I hated it, like Fluttershy had feared I would. I sustained that feeling with the thought that one of its kind had killed Michelle. Maybe that should have been enough, but I searched for reasons to justify it. I tried to find a cold, calculating resolve in its manner. I tried to find an icy indifference in its eyes. I tried to find the attitude that I was beneath its notice.
Instead, the goddamn thing refused to oblige and just fucking sat there.
It looked ... tiny, at least compared to Sevfivtoo. It sat calmly on its haunches as two members of Celestia's royal guard stood a wary watch just behind it. It looked alien enough to send flutters through my stomach, like some bizarre combination of pony and insect. The holes made it look both strange and somehow incomplete.
I heard Fluttershy gulp. Rarity trotted over to me, but my gaze was still fixed on that thing. Yes, thing. Maybe I couldn't hate it with quite the same boiling rage as I did Sevfivtoo, but I refused to make it a person.
Applejack frowned at it before turning her attention to Twilight. "Well, we're all here. Might as well get this here show on the road."
Twilight trotted up to the creature. "I'm sorry for the guards, but we can't take any chances."
The changeling nodded. "I understand, Princess. My kind have not exactly done anything to endear themselves to you."
It had that same strange two-tone, off-frequency voice like Chrysalis and Sevfivtoo. "That's a huge understatement," I muttered.
It looked at me, and I felt a chill, but it was likely in my head. "Are you Candy Swirl?"
I had not expected it to address me. "Yeah. What of it?"
"I was told of what happened to your friend. You have my sympathies."
My jaw tightened. My ears flattened.
Goddamn it.
Fuck that.
And fuck him.
"And how is that supposed to mean anything to me?!" I exploded.
"Candy, please--" Rarity began and started to wrap a fore-leg around me.
I shrugged it off and galloped over to him. To it. "You think that fixes everything?! You think you can just walk in here and spout off these words and make it all better?!"
"Candy, stop, please," Twilight said.
"Shut up, Twilight!" I glared at the changeling. "What do you know about sympathy? That's an emotion. You don't have your own emotions! You just take them from others!"
The changeling said nothing and simply cast its gaze downward.
I wanted to hit it. I wanted to throttle it. I wanted to throw something at it. A spark flew from my horn as if caught in the crossfire of the conflicting desires in my head. Before I could act, Applejack stepped in front of me and said, "That's enough."
I stumbled back a step. "What are you talking about?!"
"Ya gotta calm down, sugarcube."
"Why?! Don't I have a right to feel this way?"
"Ya got every right in the whole wide world ta be mad," said Applejack. "But it ain't helpin' matters."
I glared at her. I would have screamed at her, but my throat was too tight to speak. Both rage and grief threatened to boil up from where I had thought I had banished them.
"I know what it means ta lose a loved one, Candy. An' I know what it means ta be so angry 'bout it that ya wanna buck somethin' inta next week."
"Do you?" I croaked. "Do you really?"
"Mebbe ya didn't know that me and Apple Bloom and Big Mac don't exactly have our parents around no more."
"What does that have to ... to do with ... but ..." I trailed off when the realization struck that Apple Bloom had lost her mother at an earlier age than I had. I had assumed that nopony could possibly know how I felt.
I was good at assuming things.
"No, I didn't know," I said in a stiff voice, averting my eyes.
Applejack stepped closer to me. "Yer mad fer dang good reasons. I ain't gonna deny that. But ya gotta let Kevin speak. I know it's hard. I know it don't make the pain go away. But jus' mebbe we can stop it from happenin' ta somepony else."
I took a deep breath and nodded. I didn't give the changeling ... Kevin ... a backwards glance as I headed over to Rarity and Fluttershy. They drew me into a tight hug. I felt Fluttershy tremble.
Twilight turned back to Kevin. "Maybe you realize now the gravity of the situation."
"Perhaps it would be best if I respond to Miss Swirl's accusation," said Kevin.
I tensed, but I said nothing.
"I'm not going to apologize for what we are," said Kevin. "We live by absorbing emotions. It's food to us. If we don't feed, we die. But there's more than one way to feed. We can absorb emotions given off normally by ponies. If they're directed specifically at us, it's more nourishing. That's mainly why we disguise ourselves as other ponies."
Despite his civility, I still could not see him as any better than a parasite.
"But we can also more forcefully take emotions and energy. This kind of feeding requires more ... well, control over the pony. And it can drain them."
"Like what happened to Cherry," I muttered.
Kevin nodded. "Like what happened to her."
"I don't get it," said Applejack. "If y'all can be fine and dandy with jus' takin' in what's already there, then what's the problem?"
"It's about power," said Kevin. "Remaining passive sustains, but taking more gives us power. And most of us follow the Queen and her guidance."
Twilight's voice held a cold edge as she said, "And we all know what kind of feeding Chrysalis advocates."
"True, but for all her faults, she doesn't advocate draining to the point of death."
"Like Tartarus she doesn't!" I snapped.
Rarity tightened her foreleg around me. Fluttershy was still trembling, but she remained at my side.
"No, Miss Swirl, she doesn't," said Kevin. "Her focus on active feeding may be to our ruin, but she finds killing abhorrent."
"Then how do you explain Sevfivtoo?" I demanded.
"She was most likely acting on her own."
"Matilda said you knew her," said Twilight.
"I had the displeasure of being assigned to a task with Sevfivtoo back in the hive some years ago," Kevin explained. "She is a schemer, interested only in furthering her own influence. She had expressed her contempt for ponies' lives multiple times. She's the most ruthless being I have ever met."
Twilight gasped. "That's it! What happened at the summit makes complete sense now!"
I looked at her crossly. "Huh?"
"Ya kinda lost me there, too, Twi," said Applejack.
"Remember when Sevfivtoo was disguised as Strong Wing?" said Twilight in an excited voice. "Remember how she lied to Shining Armor about Candy's conversation with Chrysalis? I puzzled over why she never mind-magicked the other guards into corroborating the story. It makes perfect sense if Sevfivtoo had purposely sabotaged Chrysalis' plans!"
"That's one subtle bit of sabotage," Applejack said in a dubious voice.
"But fitting with Sevfivtoo's nature," Kevin said. "She's very clever. And calculating."
I trembled at the memory of the apartment but refused to cower to it. My voice remained hard as I said, "That's the same sense I got from her."
Kevin looked at me. "You saw her in her true form?"
I nodded. "Right before she made me forget seeing her."
"She used a memory-blocking spell on you?"
"A rather strong one," said Twilight. "It took outside help to overcome it."
"How big was she?" Kevin asked.
I blinked. "What?"
"We already know Sevfivtoo is larger than a normal drone," said Twilight.
"But she wasn't when I last saw her," said Kevin. "Please, Miss Swirl, how big was she?"
I had not wanted to recall it again in that much detail. Rarity gave me a gentle squeeze. "Um, maybe half your size bigger."
"She was bigger than that at the summit," Twilight said. "At least twice your size, Kevin."
Kevin frowned. "This is not good."
My heart fluttered.
"Can you elaborate on that?" said Rarity. "Considering that nothing about this is good."
"Sevfivtoo may be attempting to Ascend," said Kevin.
Twilight's pupils shrank, her wings rustling. "Ascend??"
"She desires to become a Queen, likely as a rival to Chrysalis."
"Um, that's definitely not good," Fluttershy said.
Twilight looked confused. "Is this how new Queens come about normally?"
"Changeling Queens prefer to select their successors," said Kevin. "By taking a drone showing good intelligence and, over time, feeding her more energy until she's strong enough to Ascend. It generally happens over several years. I suppose it's possible Chrysalis was grooming Sevfivtoo for this purpose, but I find that unlikely." He paused. "Princess, do you know how many other ponies Sevfivtoo has drained?"
"We don't know," Twilight said. "She drained two ponies here in Equestria pretty far that we know of, though they survived. You know about Cherry, but that happened while she was off-world."
Kevin's eyes widened. "Off-world??"
"Long story," Applejack said. "Short version: Chrysalis sent Sevfivtoo through a portal ta get an artifact, an' she didn't seem ta care who stood in her way."
I covered my pendant with a hoof. I felt my heart pounding behind it. I swallowed hard when Twilight turned to me. "Candy, do you recall any strange deaths or disappearances when--"
"Yes, I do!" I said.
"What happened?"
Visions of the alleyway played out in cold clarity in my head. "In the weeks before I came here, I kept getting in trouble with the drug dealers and didn't know why. People would disappear and I'd be blamed. They thought I was reporting them to the police. They finally tried to kill me in that alleyway. I figured out since then that Sevfivtoo was probably framing me for all that, but I just assumed those people really had been arrested, a-and not--"
"How many disappeared in this way, Miss Swirl?" Kevin asked.
I flinched slightly. "Um, five. Maybe six."
Kevin turned to Twilight. "Princess, if Sevfivtoo did indeed drain that many more ponies to the point of death, she may already have enough energy to be at least a Queenling."
"That doesn't sound good, either," said Fluttershy.
"But what in tarnation does it mean?" Applejack said.
"It means she has most of the power and magicks of a Queen," said Kevin. "But not the Royal Aura that allows her to command a hive. She likely needs more energy for that."
I glanced down at my pendant. When I raised my eyes, I found Twilight looking at it as well. She appeared thoughtful for a moment before turning back to Kevin. "I have one more question. Have you heard of a changeling named Wuntusix?"
"Yes, but I've never met her," said Kevin. "From what I've heard, she's unremarkable, but impressionable. Much more a follower than a leader. She's been seen with Sevfivtoo many times. That's all I know."
Twilight nodded. "Thank you, Kevin, this information has been very useful. I'll talk to you more later. Guards, please escort him to the main hall for now."
"Yes, Princess," said one of the guards before they both led Kevin away.
I stepped up to Twilight as she turned to face us. "Do you think that's why Sevfivtoo wants my pendant? For that last energy she needs?"
She looked me square in the eye. "She's not going to get it. I'm going to find her first."
"An' how are ya gonna do that when she's been more slippery than a muddy pig?" said Applejack.
"If Kevin is right, and Sevfivtoo is almost a Queen, then she has a magical resonance similar to Chrysalis," said Twilight. "I can use that to find her."
Fluttershy shivered. "But she could be anywhere outside Ponyville!"
Rarity moved alongside me. "It does sound like a formidable task."
Twilight smiled. "Not if I use the wards. I can modify them to send out a pulse tuned to Chrysalis' resonance. If Sevfivtoo's resonance is close enough to hers, I'll detect it."
Applejack looked dubious. "Ya sure that'll work?"
"I have to try," said Twilight.
"Yer puttin' a whole lotta faith in the word of another changelin', Twi."
"I know, but it's all I have to go on right now." Twilight's gaze flicked between myself, Rarity, and Applejack. "It's absolutely urgent now. I believe Wuntusix infiltrated the train back from Canterlot."
Rarity gasped. "Oh, no! Lyra really is a changeling?"
"Um, I don't think so," Fluttershy said. "Not according to Tree Hugger."
"I still don't buy that!" I snapped. "No offense to your friend, Fluttershy, but that's hardly--"
"Candy, Tree Hugger was not the only means I used," Twilight declared. "I don't have time to go into the details. Lyra is not the changeling, but somepony else is. And ... it may be one of the Crusaders."
My heart froze.
Applejack gasped and recoiled. "Twilight, no! It can't be ... n-not Apple Bloom?!"
"Great Celestia, it can't be Sweetie Belle!" Rarity cried in a quavering voice.
Fluttershy swallowed hard. "M-maybe it's not either of them, maybe it's Scootaloo." She whimpered and cast her gaze downward. "What am I saying?? That's just as bad!"
"An' we left 'em all together at the farm!" Applejack cried.
"S-Sweetie Belle's been tired and clumsy lately," Rarity said in a horrified voice. "What if she's being drained by a changeling she thinks is her friend?!"
Twilight flared her wings. "Please, everypony, calm down! Panicking is going to get us nowhere."
Rarity swallowed hard. "Y-you're right, Twilight. I'm terribly sorry."
"So'm I," said Applejack. "But what are we gonna do?"
"Obviously, we need to find out which one is the changeling!" Rarity said.
"But how? They all passed Twilight's scan with flyin' colors!"
"Maybe Tree Hugger can find out!" Fluttershy said.
My heart pounded so hard that my chest ached. My mind raced, memories of the past few days crashing into incoherency from the tumult of my emotions. I swallowed hard and fought to make sense of them. Or maybe I just didn't want to. I didn't want to believe it could be Sweetie Belle, the thought twisting my stomach until I felt as if I were about to throw up. I cast my wavering gaze at Twilight, and the sad look in her eyes made my blood run cold, as if she had just guessed the conclusion I had come to that Rarity would never accept.
But why should I accept it? Did I read too much into a single look? Why wouldn't Sweetie Belle be so clingy if the incident on the train had frightened her? My own tiredness could be just stress and not having my energy sucked away by a changeling.
And yet she was so eager to accept Lyra being the changeling.
And she had been the one to first implicate Lyra.
And she simply did not want to leave my side, as if she had to be close to me when some sort of signal was given.
"It's very likely that these two changelings are working together," said Twilight. "The longer they don't realize that we're on to them, the better chance we have of stopping Sevfivtoo."
Applejack frowned. "I don't like this, Twi. I don't think we should try ta take her down until Rainbow and Pinkie are back."
"Yes, why can't we just find out who the changeling is now and worry about Sevfivtoo later?" Rarity demanded.
"Because until I know where Sevfivtoo is keeping the real pony, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that filly's life!" Twilight cried. "We're dealing with a changeling willing to kill! If we can find and rescue the pony she's taken first, we won't have to worry about her being hurt in retaliation."
Applejack swallowed hard. "Even if it ain't Apple Bloom, I'm scared for her right now."
Rarity's eyes shimmered. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but looked at me instead. I had no words for her. My thoughts threatened to shatter the illusion of numb calm that had settled over me; one moment I refused to believe Sweetie Belle could be the changeling, the next moment it seemed inevitable. Emotion needed the former; logic dictated the latter. I wanted desperately to listen to my heart, but I knew I should listen to my brain instead.
Twilight started to pace. "We need to act as if nothing has changed, but we can't let the Crusaders remain unsupervised. If Lyra was set up as a distraction, then whatever they're planning may happen soon."
"I think we should keep the Crusaders at their tree house," Applejack said.
"Should Candy stay away from them?" Fluttershy asked. "So she's not at risk?"
"Fluttershy's right!" Rarity cried. "Maybe we should keep her and the Crusaders as far apart as possible so--"
"No," I heard myself say.
"Candy, please, I--"
"I can't stay away from Sweetie Belle!"
Rarity sighed. "I know, I also hope that Sweetie Belle isn't--"
"That's not what I mean," I said in a shaky voice. "If she really is ... I-I mean ... I already promised her I'd spend time with her today. She still thinks we suspect Lyra of being a changeling. If everything suddenly changes now, won't that warn them we know something is up, no matter which one is the changeling?"
"But one of us can stand watch over them instead!"
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, right, seeing an adult suddenly hovering over them watching their every move won't look the least bit suspicious."
"But, Candy, you ... I ..." Rarity's face twisted into a grimace, and she stomped a hoof. "I hate these changelings! I wish I had never encountered the wretched creatures!"
Fluttershy averted her eyes and bit her lower lip.
"I think Candy's got a point," Applejack said. "But keep 'em all at the farm. Rarity an' Fluttershy can come along an' stay at the house jus' in case while Twi works her magic ta find Sevfivtoo."
Twilight turned to me. "Candy, nopony can make you do this."
I nodded halfway through her statement. "I know."
"Don't take any risks. Don't try to move against her unless you feel you have no choice. Go get Applejack and the others if anything happens."
My throat felt tight. I glanced at Rarity. She was almost in tears. How I managed not to be in the same state eluded me, especially considering neither of us knew whether the real Sweetie Belle was alive or dead.
"You won't be without protection," said Twilight. "I'm going to use a new spell, one that won't rely on your pendant." Her eyes narrowed. "I don't want any more incidents of Cherry or the avatar draining energy from it."
I could not allow myself to even consider Michelle somehow colluding with the changelings, as it would surely shatter my resolve. That had to wait until later. I had to focus all my attention on Sweetie Belle. I had to find out for sure.
I had to know if I were again about to lose somepony I loved.
Oh damn its hitting the fan
So the changeling that killed Cherry is trying to become a queen... Emperor have mercy on us all...
Please don't kill SweetieBell!
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Destroy the Pendant... It's the only way to be sure...
Why do I suspect Rarity is the changeling...
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Thanks for the candid comment on the story. I'm sorry if it didn't work for you, and I understand if you don't want to read it any further.
Admittedly, I'm a little confused on some of your points, and I hope you can clarify them for me. It appears you made this comment based on the first chapter, and you called out some elements (the way her life was threatened in the alley, the pendant itself, her humanity) as things you felt either were not necessary or were insufficiently explained or did not factor enough. These things actually do become important later in the story. I'm not sure what you expect here. My concept of a good story is to introduce elements that leave the reader with questions that will be answered later. There's only so much I can convey in one chapter. If you could explain your point in a little more detail, I would appreciate it.
Concerning her reaction to her transformation, I had to try for a balance between a believable reaction and avoiding bogging down the story with an excessively emotional reaction that would have bogged down the story. I had to choose what elements to highlight to keep the story moving at a decent pace (and where I have received some criticism involving pacing, this would have made matters worse). At the same time, I'm willing to accept that I could have done her initial reactions better. Do you have some suggestions on how you see it could have been done better?
And still nopony thinks to spray some RAID on everypony and see which one curls up dead!
The pyrethroids and permethrin in RAID have very low toxicity to mammals! It's a perfect scheme! The cherngelerngs won't know what hit em!
7256033 People, please don't downvote these kinds of comments. Twad stated that the story wasn't its best and then articulated that statement with facts, which is very constructive, and even the author themselves have commented on it, thanking for the criticism and asking for suggestions on changing things. If anything, this comment should get upvotes for providing constructive criticism instead of just leaving it at the first line of the comment like so many others do.
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Something tells me that targeted genocide by purpose-designed chemical weapons might be a little heavy-hoofed for this story, and the show in general...
7256331 they'll even take it back to the nest. Kill the Queen, kill the colony!
RAID!?!
*BOOM*
Damn. *shudder*
Huh, it seems like its relatively easy for a determined changeling to get really powerful really fast, far faster than any pony, and basically any changeling can become an alicorn equivalent if they just 'be evil'.
I mean it isn't as bad as a lot of fics were being loved freely equals effectively infinite power because conservation of energy apparently isn't a thing in those world's, but even then one evil changelings could kill a dozen farmers or traveling merchants and be almost strong enough to go toe to toe with Celestia. Why exactly haven't dozens of changeling queens throughout history tried to conquer Equestria?
I get that 'game balancing' a story isn't something a lot of people contemplate, but 6 murders and one random artifact equals threat to all of equestrian? How did Celestia keep it together for a thousand years alone and with the elements? If Chrysalis just murdered one village and fed the 100+ ponies to some trusted drones she could have easily stomped Celestia, or if she ate them herself.
Growing stronger by draining magic is SUPER OP. I mean it is literally Tirek's whole deal and he alone almost killed the world. If literally any changeling can do it, even at a significantly slower rate them their species should already be ruling the world due to infinite potential power growth.
Though the whole 'broken power balance' could be fixed rather easily. Make it so drones 'cap' power wise and can't get stronger without ascending. And the only way to ascend is with the help of the old queen through 'passing the crown' so to speak. Only one queen to a hive and since Sev wants to be queen even with Chrysalis disapproving of her and refusing to make her the heir she looks to the artifact to cheat the system and ascend kinda like Twilight did with the Star swirl spell.
Otherwise you would have to argue that in the history of all changelings there had never been a murderer/serial killer, because even a single one that went 'off the reservation' and just started feeding feel would be a huge huge problem. Just this one is tying up an alicorn, her guards, and the elements of harmony.
Wow, I have been super negative to this story recently. Still like it overall though and think you're doing pretty good work. Just got problems with virtually everything changeling related in the story. Like how second one in this chapter the entire audience knew for a fact that Sweetie was the changeling yet we had to watch everyone flail about pointlessly trying to figure it out, I swear my eyes would have fallen out from all the rolling if they didn't catch up to the audience and see the giant neon sign above sweetie s head by the end of the chapter.
Keep up the good work! I think... that was probably the point of this ongoing 47 paragraph essay on 'what I think is wrong with the changeling subplot' if you can even call it a subplot giving how it is the main focus of almost every chapter.
7256582 For one, tone is important when delivering criticism. When you start with
you're not exactly inviting anyone to look at the content of your post with an open mind.
Secondly, half of the points raised are just plain wrong, but you'd have to read much more than the first chapter to learn that. Giving criticism on the content of a long story based on the first chapter alone rarely makes much sense.
As opposed to what Inabit does here frequently. I don't agree with much he/she is writing, but the critique is well reasoned and based on having read the entire fic. The definition of constructive.
The point about the easy transformation is a recurring problem with transformation fics, because if you really want to do this properly it's a (quite often dark) story all on its own. I thought it was quite well done and fit the character as well as it could within the given limitations. Then again, the transformation has a lot of repercussions further down the line, again something you can't glean from just looking at the first chapter.
In short: if you don't have anything to say about characterization, writing flow or technical quality, save the criticism for when you've read a good chunk of the story. If you really want to be constructive about narrative, consistency, logical progression, world building, design of story arcs, etc., that's when it will really be useful to the author.
On the other hoof... someone with a negative opinion who actually writes about what bothers them and not just downvotes is a rare sight. That's certainly to be recommended, I'll give you that.
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Thank you again for the detailed comments.
As hard as I worked on this chapter to try to bring things together, it appears there may be a few things that did not come through. I was trying not to make the scene with Kevin too much of an exposition dump, so I wanted to make the main point as succinctly as I could. I had also tried to build up to this point. I wanted to portray Sev as achieving her goals not so much via raw power as cleverness.
I also didn't meant to imply that Sev is a threat to all of Equestria, at least not right this minute. Yes, she is definitely a threat, and if she had time to build a hive of like-minded changelings far more ruthless than Chrysalis is, that represents a definite future danger. In a way, her power is indeed capped as you put it, which is why she needs the pendant to become a full Queen. Perhaps I need to adjust the wording a bit in this chapter to explain this a little better (or, alternately, keep it in mind for future chapters when this plot is resolved).
As for the bit about the readers knowing about who the changeling is, I never intended it necessarily to be that much of a mystery for the readers. I thought I had set things up such that it made sense that the characters in the story did not see this right away. Looking back on it, however, I see some places I could have done it a bit better. I don't think I intentionally made anyone "artificially stupid" for the point of the plot, but there likely is room for more subtlety in the plot development.
I am glad you're enjoying the story despite the potential weaknesses of the changeling plot, and I appreciate your candid comments. Also, in response to a previous comment of yours, I do fully intent to return to the story behind the pendant. In fact, all the loose ends will be tied up before the story is over.
7256582
If it helps any, I read all comments regardless of how the voting has gone for them. If I don't respond personally to every single one, it's mostly due to the sheer number of comments that the story is generating (which is a good thing; I value those more than raw numbers of upvotes/downvotes).
7256033
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For me it came down to this: what exactly do I want to highlight about the transformation? What part of it is important to the story I want to tell?
I've read transformation stories where the main character has to re-learn basic locomotion to accommodate having four legs instead of two, or spends a great deal of time freaking out over having a vastly different body than before, and so on. While this can make for good fiction, it can also bog down the story if this is not what I want to focus on. So it's a conscious choice I made while developing the story. I do indeed introduce elements of the transformation as things Rachel dwells on and struggles with, but that struggle can't overwhelm the plot or it becomes tedious (and this is my personal opinion).
To be fair, I understand that not all readers can incorporate this into their willing suspension of disbelief. The first chapter of a story needs to make the reader want to continue reading, and if it falls flat for some, then that's valuable feedback for my future endeavors.
7256604 Doesn't change the fact that it's brilliant military strategy!
Although... this is a story with murder and mind-rape. A little chemical warfare isn't so far-fetched.
Do I understand correctly that 752 did not kill the replaced guard because Crysalis was near?
I think you are really being a bit heavy-handed with the hinting at Sweetie Belle. At this point, I'm actually not even sure if I believe it's really her who is the changeling, because it's done up so obvious and unsubtle that I almost think it has to be a red herring.
There can be little doubt, but what are they going to do about it?
Aren't most of the ponies missing the point that the Changeling can change their identity at anytime and use mind wipes to cover it. So their only reason for really staying in one place for an extended time, especially if they're a suspect, would be to get something from someone. So there was no reason to stay as Lyra once she was suspected (which candy should have realised sooner).
The fact that a Changeling tried to prompt Candy to stay near SB coupled with all the other evidence makes it so strong it has to be a red herring though.
Awesome
Until proven otherwise, Twilight is still my number one suspect.
7264681
Thanks for the heads up on that. Please do point out things like that, as I strive to be consistent. The plot is complex enough that I may have made little mistakes here and there. After I post the next chapter, I am planning on doing some editing and touch-up of previous chapters, so I'll see if I can track down that inconsistency as well and fix it.
And why is not Twilight wearing the damn pendant again? That would make sense since they have done it before.
Tiredness does not reduce control of magic in the way that Sweetie does it according to last chapter, if she's tired it should cause it to become weak and wobbly not erratic. Sweetie is obviously a changeling and trying to get the pendant via attempting to murderate Candy.
Everything the author does in this story is obviously intentional down to some of the smallest details and Author-san is leaving it up to us (the reader) to pick up on those tiny, important details. Even if the premise of the story is Clichéd to the highest degree Author-san adds an impressive level of depth to a story that would otherwise be very Clichéd by manipulating the composition of the story as well as the details therein to improve the quality of the story immensely on an immersion level instead of a practical one. In all my years of reading fanfiction I have never seen this done despite it being used in some novels, personally I believe this to be a testament to the writer's skill that he not only used this strategy, but also used it with considerable skill.
I'm also starting to suspect Candy herself of being a changeling.
Okay, she's been off the entire last chapter, and now you immediately reintroduce the fact that Sweetie isaving trouble with colors lately, and add to her previous tiredness with that she's active when Candy's not. Haven't read past these details yet, but I think it's pretty obvious what's up.
oooh, that line makes me suspect Tree Hugger of being a changeling!
7813252 You're a changeling! You're a changeling! Everypony's a changeling!
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I prefer the one from that author's note on Chrysalis Visits The Hague:
I find it more amusing.
oh you know a story is good when you dont know who the bad guy is
There’s our anthropologist <3