At the boutique, Rarity was in the kitchen. This did not become notable until I heard an odd noise from within. I peeked around the corner to see a broom and dustpan glowing in Rarity's magic, shards of glass glittering in the light.
"There you are, Candy," said Rarity. "You were gone for quite a while."
"Um, yeah, some other stuff came up." I glanced down as Rarity swept up more shards. "What happened?"
"Just a minor accident. Sweetie Belle lost her grip on a large jar I asked her to fetch from the fridge. Nopony was hurt." She looked at me. "Everything okay?"
I debated how much to tell her. Until I knew what sort of danger followed me -- or for that matter, that I carried around in the form of an eavesdropping pendant -- I didn't want to endanger Rarity as well.
No, keeping this from her was stupid. She was my fosterer. She was my mother for all intents and purposes, regardless of whether I could address her as such. "I, uh, just found out that Miss Cheerilee is sick. Pony pox."
Rarity sighed. "The poor thing. Pony pox is not particularly dangerous, but it makes one feel awful." Her pupils shrank slightly. "Oh, dear, I hope I don't come down with it. I just talked to her a few days ago. And you spoke to her ... ah ..."
"Right before the Gala," I said.
Rarity frowned. She dumped the contents of the dustpan in the garbage bin and trotted over to me. "Candy, are you sure of this?"
"As sure as I can be."
"Because a pony doesn't come down with such an ailment overnight. Did she show any sign of being sick when you spoke to her?"
"None whatsoever. In fact, she was supposedly too sick to be up and about that day." I ran a hoof through my mane. "The Crusaders want to make her a get-well card. They're at the clubhouse now. I thought I'd bring Sweetie Belle over."
"I have half a mind to tell you 'no' until I know what's going on," said Rarity.
That's what I had been afraid of. "I know, but I thought ... I thought I might talk to Applejack about this. She sounded like she's already suspicious that something's going on, and her farm would be the safest place for both me and Sweetie Belle right now."
Despite all words of reassurance and my own efforts, twinges of guilt over my mother's death still assailed me. By no stretch of the imagination was Rarity helpless, nor was this situation at all the same, but logic did not always prevail in my addled teenage brain.
I just didn't want anypony I loved to be hurt.
"All right," Rarity said in a low voice. "But I'm coming with you."
I let out a relieved sigh. "I'll go fetch Sweetie Belle."
I ascended the stairs as fast as I could. I had set only a single hoof in Sweetie's room when she bolted to me and drew me into a tight hug. "You were gone for a long while, Candy. Is everything okay?"
No, nothing was okay, and I would have preferred to keep this from Sweetie Belle, but she was as smart as her older sister. "I just learned that Miss Cheerilee is sick."
Her pupils shrank. "She is?"
"Yeah. Pony pox."
"That's terrible. She must be feeling really bad."
I tilted my head. "Well, yeah. Your friends want to make her a get-well card."
Sweetie Belle smiled. "That's really nice."
"I told them we'd meet them at the clubhouse."
"Oh, You mean right now?" Sweetie asked. "I did kinda want to spend time with you today."
"We will, but with our other friends, too." I smiled. "I promise, tomorrow we'll spend as much time together as we can, just the two of us."
Sweetie nodded. "Okay, Candy. Thanks. You're right, we really ought to do something for Miss Cheerilee."
I broke off the embrace. "You better get your art stuff together."
"Okay." Sweetie Belle glanced around her room. "Um ... I need to use the little filly's room first, so I'll meet you out front."
I nodded. "Sure thing."
My gaze lingered on her for a moment before I turned away. I thought for sure she would have made the connection. Or maybe she had, and she didn't want to show me her worry or fear. That was very sweet, if misplaced. She should have known by then that I would never judge her for that.
"I don't like this one bit, Applejack," said Rarity as I trotted over to them just within sight of the Crusaders' tree house.
Applejack frowned. "Join the club." She turned to me. "You okay there, sugarcube?"
"I got the Crusaders working on the get-well card," I said. "I told them I had to use the bathroom. I, uh, didn't want to miss this."
"Are they safe by themselves?" Rarity asked.
"Big Mac's around doin' some apple-buckin'," said Applejack. "Anypony who even thinks of harmin' them is gonna get the wrong end of his back hooves."
"That's all well and good so long as it's not a changeling disguised as one of us!"
"But how did it get in?" I said, as if still hoping for some other explanation. "Twilight's wards were supposed to keep it out."
"Unless it was already in town when they went up," said Rarity.
"I don't think that's it," said Applejack. "'cuz I'll bet the whole dang farm that it was Sevfivtoo who set that critter on us on the train. Even a changelin' can't be in two places at once."
"But why?" Rarity said. "There was no point to the attack. Maybe it had nothing to do with this sordid mess."
"I still don't buy that. An' yer all missin' somethin' mighty important here. Twilight didn't say those wards would keep any changelin' out. She said it would keep Sevfivtoo out."
My stomach clenched as I recalled when Twilight first set the shield spell on me ...
~~~
"These spells really are more of a precaution than anything else," said Twilight. "It's unlikely that Sevfivtoo will get close to you even if she does attempt to enter Ponyville."
"Why's that?"
"I've placed wards around the periphery of Ponyville to detect the approach of strong magical beings. It can't detect ordinary drones, but a changeling of Sevfivtoo's ability will stand out easily, regardless of what illusions she can cast."
~~~
Rarity gasped. "Are you saying there's another changeling about? Do you mean Matilda's friend Kevin?"
"He's not s'posed ta be in Ponyville yet," said Applejack. "Don't get me wrong. I don't trust 'im even half as far as I could buck 'im, but Twilight ain't stupid. She told me she found out from Matilda where that changelin' was hidin' out an' got ponies ta watch 'im."
I wished she had told me that! I would not have freaked out about it quite as much.
"But that leads us back to square one," said Rarity.
"Not quite." Applejack turned to me. "Twilight filled me in about yer meetin' with yer friend. Didn't Cherry say Sevfivtoo had a companion?"
I paused to recall that detail. "Um, yeah, she did. Wun-something-or-other."
"Wuntusix, I believe was its name," said Rarity.
"But Twilight thought it went back with Chrysalis and left Sevfivtoo behind," I said. "And Cherry just barely mentioned it, like it didn't matter."
"Mebbe she honestly didn't think it did," said Applejack. "But I'm not so sure."
"Surely Twilight has considered this," Rarity said.
"I said Twilight ain't stupid, but she ain't perfect, either. An' she's been runnin' herself ragged. She might not be seein' the forest fer the trees."
I remembered how Twilight had sounded tired just before she teleported away to check the wards. I had not thought anything of it.
"She does tend to get rather focused on one aspect of a problem," said Rarity.
I had unwittingly compounded it by trying to set her on a new task concerning a body for Michelle, but I had no intention of backing down. "So what do we do now?"
"I think we gotta assume there's a changelin' in Ponyville right now," Applejack said. "Ya had the right idea in gettin' the Crusaders together, Candy. Fer all their faults, they sure as hay know how ta watch each other's backs."
I managed a small smile. I liked hearing that I had actually done something right. "Should I tell them what's going on?"
Rarity rolled her eyes. "So long as we don't have a repeat of their escapade in the White Tail Woods."
"I won't let that happen," I declared.
Rarity smiled. "I know you won't, dear. I trust you to do the right thing."
"An' I trust ya, too, Candy," said Applejack. "Go tell 'em that there's a changelin' on the loose, an' that they need ta be dang careful 'bout the company they keep. Mebbe jus' keep 'em distracted with that card fer Miss Cheerilee."
"Somepony should check on her," Rarity said. "Just to make sure she's safe."
"Who told ya about her illness, Candy?" Applejack asked.
"I didn't get her name," I said. "She's a mailpony. Um, gray-coated pegasus, yellow mane, bubbles for a cutie mark, had kind of wonky eyes."
Rarity sighed. "Yes, definitely double-check."
Applejack smiled. "At least Derpy's heart is in the right place. Rarity, why don't ya see what ya can find out about Miss Cheerilee? Meanwhile, I'll go talk ta Twilight."
"Are you going to try to convince her to keep Kevin away from Ponyville?" asked Rarity.
"I'm gonna trust Twilight on that, 'specially since the Princesses seem ta wanna hear what he has ta say."
"I think we all should be present for this little meeting just in case."
"Sounds like a great idea ta me."
I certainly thought so. I had already grudgingly accepted that I would meet this changeling face-to-face, but that didn't mean I had to feel vulnerable in its presence. "I think I should get back to the Crusaders."
"Yes, please do," said Rarity. "Don't let them out of your sight until we get back."
Applejack stepped up to me. "An' one more thing. Keep yer wits about ya. Take note of everythin' ya see or hear. Don't take nothin' fer granted."
"I'll try, Applejack." I paused. "Um ... Sweetie Belle said Twilight scanned everypony on the train afterward. That's true, right?"
"Yep. That was one of the first things she did when that monster was gone, since it took us so long ta drive it off."
"Nearly a full hour," Rarity muttered. "With all that smoke and steam from the engine, it's a wonder my coiffure survived intact."
I hid a grin behind my hoof. Applejack outright smirked. "I'd pay bits ta see yer mane get mussed up fer once."
"Hmph. You would. I suppose the Gala didn't count."
"Naw. Green ain't yer color."
One corner of Rarity's mouth rose. "And you realized that on your own? Perhaps I'll make a fashion-conscious pony of you yet."
Applejack's pupils shrank. "Tarnation, I hope not!"
I giggled. "I better get back to the Crusaders. I'll see you later."
What had once been just another oddity of this world I now drew on for support: their ability to maintain their good humor even in dire circumstances. It helped me feel a little more sane.
Apple Bloom's pupils shrank to points. "A changelin'?? Right here in Ponyville?!"
Sweetie Belle shivered slightly. She had snuggled up to me almost as soon as we had arrived. I really wished she would confess to how scared she was. If anyone knew how worse off somepony could be by keeping things to herself, it would be me.
"How did it get in?!" Scootaloo cried.
"It wasn't supposed to be able to," said Sweetie. "Twilight's magic was supposed to keep it out."
"Who cares how it got in?" cried Apple Bloom. "The important thing is, where is it now?"
"Look, I don't think it's near us right now," I said. Or at least I hoped. "There's nothing to worry about."
Apple Bloom jumped forward, her hooves clopping against the wood floor of the tree house near the edge of their interrupted art project. "There's plenty ta worry about, Candy! It could be anywhere!"
"It could look like anypony!" Scootaloo said.
"It could be doin' anythin'!"
"It could be planning anything!"
"Yes, I know," I said, impatience creeping into my voice. "But you don't need to panic, not when--"
"Where are we gonna look first?" Apple Bloom said.
Scootaloo fluttered her wings. "Oh, I know! The marketplace!"
I blinked. "Wait, what??"
"Good thinkin', Scootaloo!" said Apple Bloom. "It has lotsa ponies it could look like there."
"Where did we put the net?" Scootaloo said, looking around.
Apple Bloom trotted over to her saddlebags. "An' the mallet! Don't ferget that!"
"You still got that thing you didn't know what it was but looked really useful?"
"Um, not sure. I think it rolled under the table behind ya when--"
"Girls, stop!" I yelled. "We're not going to hunt the changeling!"
Both Apple Bloom and Scootaloo's ears drooped. "We're not?" they said in unison.
"No, we're not. Period. End of sentence."
Sweetie Belle pressed herself a little more firmly against my side. "Maybe we should listen to her. Going after a changeling sounds kinda dangerous."
I wrapped a foreleg around her without taking my eyes off the others. "Maybe you've forgotten that changelings are willing to kill! Really, girls, there are a lot safer ways to earn your cutie marks."
Apple Bloom's gaze shifted. "Umm ... who said this hasta do with our cutie marks?"
Scootaloo gave her an odd look. "But I thought you were saying the other day you still wanted to get a cutie mark for -- ouch!" Apple Bloom had kicked her lightly in the side with a single hoof. "Er, I mean ... right! Nothing to do with cutie marks."
Sweetie Belle frowned. "Apple Bloom? Scootaloo? Not helping."
I smirked. "And you're both terrible liars."
Apple Bloom sighed and plopped herself down on her haunches. "Aw, dang it. I'm sorry, Candy. Yer right. I jus' feel like we're real close to gettin' 'em."
I glanced down at their incomplete art creation and smiled. "Well, maybe you are. Can't you get it in, um, get-well-card-making?"
That sounded far-fetched even to me, but just maybe it would distract them long enough to forget about changeling-hunting for awhile.
Scootaloo stepped up to the edge of their project. "Well, it is starting to look nice."
Their "card" looked larger than the pony it was intended for. The backing was a heart-shaped piece of red construction paper, a layer of white with a lacy edge atop that, and a crude but serviceable drawing of Miss Cheerilee in the center swaddled by blankets and a box of tissues at her side. They had started to color it in, though the first attempts had a few ragged trails outside the lines.
"We're gonna put 'Get Well Soon' at the bottom and sign it with our hoof-prints!" Apple Bloom said with a smile. "We could use yer help, though, Candy."
"Sweetie Belle's having some trouble with the coloring," said Scootaloo.
I glanced down at Sweetie. "You okay?"
She smiled at me. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired."
That would explain why she had dropped the jar earlier. The first thing I learned in magic training was that fatigue could affect energy flow. Exhaustion made my magic wobbly, and I had dropped things as well. While Sweetie had a lot of energy most of the time, she just had a traumatic experience on the train. Everypony had their limits.
"I started to do her mane," Sweetie said. "Do you want to finish it?"
I smiled and held her a little tighter. I grabbed a pink crayon in my magic.
"I'll go get the glitter fer the trim," said Apple Bloom as she stepped away.
"We're still kind of disappointed that we didn't get to help the others fight the monster," said Scootaloo. "So I guess that's why we got a little carried away about the changeling."
I applied the crayon to the drawing. "You girls did the right thing by hanging back."
Apple Bloom returned with a bottle in her teeth which she dropped at her hooves. "Ta be honest, more I think 'bout it, more I'm sure we never woulda got there in time."
"Yeah, we were way back in the last car," said Scootaloo.
I stopped coloring. "The last car?"
"We didn't know yet that our groundin' was canceled," said Apple Bloom. "So we wanted ta have a meetin' of the Crusaders, an' nopony was usin' that one."
"You were alone?"
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "We tried."
"Lyra Heartstrings was with us," said Sweetie Belle.
I glanced down at her. "The whole time?"
"Yeah."
"Well, at least from just before the train stopped," said Scootaloo.
"She rushed in sayin' she thought she saw somethin' outside," said Apple Bloom. "Then the train stopped."
My heart fluttered. "What did she see?"
"Just the bugbear," said Sweetie Belle. "It passed by the car. Then the train stopped soon after that."
"Yeah, that's right," Apple Bloom said, nodding slowly.
"I had forgotten about that," Scootaloo said. "But things happened kinda fast. I remember that now."
"It went right by the windows and headed towards the engine just before she came in," Sweetie said. She shivered slightly. "I ... it kinda scared me."
"Is that why ya were nervous 'bout goin' ta fight it?" asked Apple Bloom.
"I didn't want you to know," Sweetie Belle said in a soft voice. "I was embarrassed about how much it frightened me."
I gave Sweetie Belle a gentle squeeze despite my own rising anxiety. At least she finally admitted how she felt.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Not that Miss Heartstrings would let us leave anyway."
Sweetie looked up at me. "I really don't want us going after that changeling, either. I guess I'm a little more scared of it, now, too."
"Aw, I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom said. "I woulda never suggested goin' after it if I knew ya felt that way."
"You were just so enthusiastic about it the first time," Scootaloo said.
Sweetie Belle smiled faintly. "I know, but ... I just want to be safe right now."
"I think that's a great idea," I said in as steady a voice I could muster.
My mind raced. Applejack's words echoed in my head: Keep yer wits about ya. Take note of everythin' ya see or hear. Don't take nothin' fer granted.
But wasn't this all said and done? Twilight had scanned everypony. Applejack had confirmed that. Everypony was safe. Yet despite all efforts, a changeling was loose in Ponyville. A grand chess game played out before me, yet I couldn't see all the pieces. Like the chronicle of events from the Crusaders: it sounded right, it sounded logical, it fit with everything I had been told.
And yet a new piece had been introduced: Lyra.
~~~
"And I am the real Lyra this time."
"Oh, sorry."
"It's okay, Candy," she said with a sigh. "You're not the first pony I've had to say that to."
~~~
But ... no, that was weeks ago! Yes, a changeling had taken her place briefly but they had found the real Lyra, or so I had been told. She would have been scanned along with everypony else on the train.
Unless Sevfivtoo found a way around that, like she had when she circumvented Twilight's mind magick detection spells at the castle.
Something else didn't make sense, a detail that sat in the back of my mind, but that I couldn't grasp. Something that didn't fit. Something that--
"We should get back ta this," said Apple Bloom.
"Yeah, we don't have a lot more time before dinner," said Scootaloo.
That was it. Time.
~~~
"They weren't even gone very long," said Scootaloo.
"Felt like a while to me," said Rainbow Dash. "But time seems to slow down when I'm being awesome."
~~~
"Girls?" I said in a slightly quavering voice. "One more question: how much time passed from when the train stopped and Twilight and the others came to check on you?"
"Hmm, I dunno," Apple Bloom said. "Wasn't long, I don't think. Half hour, mebbe?"
"Oh, no, way shorter than that," said Scootaloo. "Fifteen minutes, tops."
"I'm sure it was longer than that, Scootaloo."
"I'm not really sure myself," said Sweetie Belle. "After Miss Heartstrings had arrived, things got kind of weird anyway."
"Rarity had said it was almost an hour," I declared.
Apple Bloom looked confused. "Huh, really? Didn't seem that long. But she was doin' the fightin' with the others, so I guess she must be right."
"Maybe it just seemed shorter," Scootaloo said.
"It must've been the excitement," said Sweetie Belle.
Or somepony casting a spell that messed with their heads. Like a unicorn pony. Or a changeling. Or both.
Or ... it could be what it seemed. Lyra had entered the car when she saw the bugbear go past the window, and the combination of fear and excitement messed with their perception of time. She kept them there not for some sinister purpose, but for their safety. With the monster at the head of the train, the rearmost car was the safest place to be.
Either way, I wasn't going to sit on this information, but the last thing I needed was the Crusaders thinking Lyra was a changeling. I couldn't trust them not to take matters into their own hooves.
Except, possibly, for Sweetie Belle. She was acting the most responsible of all. Considering she was likely in the greatest amount of danger, this suited me just fine.
"Is dinner not to your liking, Candy?" said Rarity.
I flinched and stared at her. "Huh?" I glanced down at my plate. "Oh."
"You've barely finished half your dinner."
"I, uh, just have stuff on my mind, that's all," I said.
Rarity gave me a serious look. "Anything you wish to discuss with me?"
I glanced at Sweetie Belle, who gave me a warm smile. I smiled weakly in return. "Yes, actually, but, um, it can wait until after dinner."
Why I felt the need to hide this from Sweetie when I had just extolled her responsible nature eluded me. Perhaps it simply stemmed from my desire to protect her.
Rarity nodded. "Very well. Perhaps some good news will make you feel better. I verified what you had learned earlier. Miss Cheerilee has indeed taken ill with pony pox but is otherwise fine."
"Oh, good," I said. "I mean, not good that she's sick, but--"
"Why did you have to check on her?" Sweetie asked.
Rarity smiled gently at her. "I assume Candy told you and your friends about the changeling threat?"
"Yeah, she told us all about that."
"Well, since Miss Cheerilee is confined to her house, this was to ensure it didn't take advantage of her incapacity."
Sweetie Belle nodded. "I get it. That's good to hear, then."
"Did you get a chance to finish your get-well card?" said Rarity. "I can have it delivered for you when you finish it."
"Not yet," Sweetie said. "We'll have to go back to finish it tomorrow."
"I'm sure we can get that done fairly quickly," I said. "Then we can spend the rest of the day together."
Sweetie smiled. "I'd like that."
I looked at Rarity. "I'm not sure this can go through the regular mail. It's kinda big."
Rarity smiled. "No worries. I can have it delivered personally."
"But wouldn't that expose somepony to the illness?"
"Fortunately, Lyra has had this particular strain of the pox before, so she's immune."
My fork clattered to my plate. "Uh ... did you say Lyra? As in Lyra Heartstrings?"
"Yes, dear. She's the one you met a few weeks ago on your way home from the castle with the books Twilight gave you."
"Why Lyra?" I demanded.
Rarity looked a bit nonplussed at my tone. "She's the one who confirmed Miss Cheerilee's condition for me. She's been doing Miss Cheerilee's shopping while she's laid up."
My heart pounded. I glanced at Sweetie Belle. She had cleared her plate and was tipping her glass of juice back to get at the last few swallows.
Rarity tilted her head. "Candy, is something--?"
"We need to talk," I murmured. I lifted a hoof to hide my muzzle from Sweetie and mouthed the word "alone."
Rarity nodded once. "Sweetie, dear, if you're done, you can be excused."
Sweetie carefully set down her glass. "Okay. Candy, can you come by my room when you're done?"
"Sure, Sweetie." I watched her hop off her chair and trot out of the room.
"What is it, dear?" Rarity said in an urgent voice.
"The Crusaders told me Lyra was with them in the last car."
"Yes, that's right."
"Is there any chance at all that ... that Lyra could be a changeling?"
Rarity's pupils shrank to points. "My stars, whatever gave you that idea? Candy, if things were not already such a large mess, I would think you being a tad paranoid."
I thumped a fore-hoof on the table. "Look, maybe I am! Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind, too. Did you talk to Lyra on the train?"
"No, but I was there when Twilight spoke with her."
"Did she say she saw something fly past the window?"
Rarity paused. "Why ... yes, she did. That was why she went into the car."
"Did she say what she thought it was?"
"She said she couldn't tell," said Rarity. "It flew by too fast."
"The Crusaders told me they saw it, and that it was the bugbear," I said. "And that it was headed towards the front of the train."
"Well, that makes sense."
I face-hoofed. "No, it doesn't!"
Rarity frowned. "She was obviously concerned for their safety."
"For something that flew by so fast she couldn't identify it? Flying away from the car with the Crusaders? When there was no other indication of danger?"
"The train had stopped suddenly!" Rarity declared. "What more indication does one need?"
"But the Crusaders said she was in the car right before the train stopped!"
Rarity's mouth dropped open. "Wh-what?? That's not ... that's not what Lyra said."
Gotcha.
Gotcha, you monster.
I leaned forward and propped my head up on one fore-hoof. "Oh, really, now?"
Rarity's frown deepened. "Surely there must be some sort of logical explanation. Twilight scanned everypony, including Lyra. Including all her friends, even though we were right there with her the whole time."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, it's not like Sevfivtoo ever got around Twilight's magic before."
Rarity sighed. "You've made your point. Very well. If you would be so kind as to clean up, I'll head out long enough to let Twilight know."
"Thank you," I said with a relieved sigh. I hopped off my chair and started levitating plates and silverware to the sink.
"Honestly, sometimes I wish we were fighting another Tirek. At least then one knew who the enemy was." Rarity trotted towards the door, paused, and turned. "Oh, and Candy?"
"Yes?"
"No banging your hooves on the table. It's bad manners."
I uttered a dramatic sigh, but I gave her a tiny smile. "Sorry."
I washed the dishes and set them to dry before heading upstairs. Sweetie Belle gave me a hug as soon as I stepped into her room. "I heard the front door," she said as she hopped up onto her bed. "Did Rarity go out?"
I sat next to her. "Yeah, but she'll be back soon."
"So you think Lyra is a changeling, huh?"
My moment of shock did not last long. I narrowed my eyes. "You were listening in on our conversation."
"Just a little. But it makes total sense."
"It does?"
Sweetie nodded. "I mean, she lied about when she entered the car, right?" she said in a slightly quavering voice.
"Well, that, and other stuff, too," I said. "You going to be okay?"
"I think so. Once Rarity tells Twilight, I'm sure she'll take care of it." Sweetie smiled and snuggled against me. "Besides, I have such a great sister who I know will protect me."
My eyes became misty, and a wide smile stretched across my muzzle. I wrapped my forelegs around her and hugged her tightly. I glanced towards the window as the sun sank below the horizon. "Do you want to go on to bed, Sweetie? You said you were tired earlier."
"Maybe in a little while," she said softly. "I'm feeling better now."
I had every intention of living up to her expectations of me. What befell Michelle -- and my original mother -- would never happen again to those I loved.
I would sooner die than let that happen again.
Sweetie is the changeling. Calling it now.
that isn't the real sweetie, the real sweetie never made it out of the camp in white tale wood. Now the question remains, is the impostor friend or foe?
7244059
Yeah.
"Sweetie is suddenly acting more responsibly and clingy to me than usual. This must be a good thing and completely not obvious that she's a changeling."
I feel like the character is an idiot for not even having the one off question of whether she's the actual Sweetie Bell. Attempting to excuse it later with mind magic doesn't change my feelings and frustrations with the character.
Sweetie is a changling im calling it now
Hmm... There are too many factors to really make sense here, for one, why is Sweetie being so clingy, and two, why would Lyra lie? Guess we'll find out soon enough....
7244059
7244066
Why yes I do think both of these things are highly likely. Especially with the tiredness that 'Sweetie' was feeling earlier that seems to have gotten better after some lovingly sister time with Candy.
7244149 There is also the constantly wanting alone time with Candy. Away from anyone else. Even the other Crusaders.
Yeah, I'm with you guys, scan "Sweetie" now!
7244127 Yep. It's 99.9999999999% likely she's a cherngelerng! But there's only one way to be sure! *shoots Sweetie in the face!* Huh... red blood... guess I was wrong.
Oh well... BETTER TEST SOME MORE PONIES!! *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!*
She's done all of this deducing about Lyra but she never even stopped to think about what Cheerilee talked to her about.
I've been suspicious of Sweetie ever since 'Cheerilee' said to stick close to her.
Sweetie is too obvious, I'm gonna say its Applejack and/or Rarity.
7244059 S'been obvious for a while now.
We just got it confirmed.
So Sweetie is probably a changeling, but I wouldn't bet on her being the only one.
When did the switch happen, though?
I bet SweetieBell is the friend Changling of 17.
What if... Twilight is the changeling??? Just to throw something new out there. Plus, it could explain how she keeps "missing" really important things. Then again, maybe the changeling has just been different ponies at different times? I mean, thay are kind of known to do that.
7244190 Uhhh... you do know that changelings also have red blood, NOT green? They're not Vulcans!
FYI, the green stuff is their spit.
*sees all the corpses lying about Ponyville*
Well...I guess you didn't know that
CLEANUP IN THE MARKET SQUARE, PLEASE!
7244059
This.
7244059
Alone time. Yeah. Alone in a cocoon...
7244059 Naw, it wasn't like there were a ston of hints or anything. Honestly, I'd be surprised that Candy hasn't noticed yet if it weren't for the fact that she's so dependent on having a shoulder to cry on, and the possibility that...wait, no, she's protected from mind magic by the pendant, isn't she? But 'Starswirl' has been sapping a lot of juice from the wards on it...
Yeah, calling the sweetie/changeling theory as well.
Yup Sweetie is the chagneling. Mind control Lyra and nopony's thought to scan Sweetie.
7244059 I was fairly certain a chapter or 2 ago.
7244237 this is why.
I think part of the plan is to exhaust Twilight or make ponies ignore candy's changeling warnings
7244650
We dont actually know since no changeling has bleed on the show.
7244650 Then you're saying... THEY WERE ALL CHERNGLERNGS ALL ALONG?!
Oh, right...
That time Everypony Was a Changeling
They are...
7245104 Then clearly we need to 'change' that! *canned laugh track and rimshot* Wakka wakka!
Sweetie belle a changling? It's more likely than you think. (Or she is a robotic killing machine)
Is anyone else getting kinda tired of 'changelings!changelings!changelings!changelings!changelings!changelings!changelings!changelings!'?
I mean I kinda like Candy and her interactions with everyone else but the whole 'oh no changelings are outsmarting and out maneuvering us at every turn' is getting tiresome. The fact that a random changeling Is constantly evading and circumventing the combined efforts of the entire good guy side with absolutely no effort is just making me bored of the whole thing.
Everything everyone on the good guy side thinks will always turn out wrong and every plan they make will fail and every defense they set up will be circumvented. It has happened literally every time in this story and there is no reason to expect it to not continue. No tension in anything, just bored of the changeling and waiting for us to get to Candy character development when she isn't holding the idiot ball.
Sweetie Bell is most definitely a changeling.
Yeaaah Sweetie is a changeling. Funny how she felt better after recieving love from Candy. She is most definately 100% bugpony
7245662
Thank you for your candid comment.
The point that I am trying to make in the story is that they are not up against a "random" changeling but one that is more able and skillful than your average drone. I thought I had made it clear in the story that they are up against a rather clever adversary. Yes, some countermeasures are being circumvented by Sevfivtoo, but not necessarily all. She's adapting to the defenses thrown against her. I didn't want an enemy that was stupid and easily thwarted, but I also wanted to portray the good guys as being sensible. This is tricky to do when I'm doing a first person POV and she's not privy to every event taking place.
So perhaps I could have structured things a little better to bear this out more if it wasn't as clear as I had hoped it would be.
As for Candy and the "idiot ball", could you give me some more specific examples of this from more recent chapters? I have tried to respond to criticism by adapting my writing as I go to portray the character better. I don't want to make characters "artificially stupid" just for a plot point. If this is indeed the perception, however, I need to know where I can improve.
7246143 First, I mean random changeling by the fact that Queen Chrysalis, the big bad of the changelings is both in the story and not the primary threat. Chrysalis, leader of the changeling hive, is secondary to one of her underlings with no greater explanation than 'Sev is really strong/smart for some reason' even if it is explained later on its still weird right now. Its kinda like if Chrysalis was at war with ponies and her greatest rival wasn't Celestia but instead Flash Sentry. He may be a badass super guard or whatever but that doesn't make the established big bad/big good taking a back seat less... strange.
Next to address the problem with defenses. It isn't that Sev has overcome or defeated every last part of every last plan to stop her, it is that the inherent purpose of the defenses always fails. Candy's first interaction with a changeling is one replacing Redheart and almost stealing the pendant, only by a hunch of Rainbow is that plan thwarted. Next they say "We have wards and guards in the castle I promise the changelings won't get to you" the changelings got her alone. "We have wards set up so no changelings can replace anyone in the castle" one of her guards were replaced. "We have wards to ensure the changeling can't use mind control magic" Candy got mind controlled. "We had guards sweep the forest, we promise there are no changelings there" Changelings were there. "We have wards around town to keep the changelings out" Changelings are now in the town replacing either Cheerilee and Sweetie.
Every time a defense is set up it is summarily thwarted. There has been literally zero times a ward or defense has been mention in story not directly related to its failing at its created purpose, whether through direct overpowering or it just being circumvented due to 'cleverness'. Even the shield/warning spell around Candy is currently being weakened by the pendant and Starswirl, so the smart money is that it is going to falter or fail at a vital moment later on and I won't be surprised one bit. Functionally Twilight and the gang could have just sat around twiddling their hooves and had as much success against their foe. Its absolutely destroys in faith a reader has an in a defense or protection. If a defense is introduced it so Twilight can later be baffled at how it didn't work.
Lastly the 'idiot ball'. It isn't so much 'idiot ball' in the tvtropes sense but more that Candy and the readers are both trying to figure out the same thing. Who is the changeling spy, what is their plans, and when will they strike next? The only problem is that Candy, bless her heart, is just less aware and less intelligent than the average reader. It isn't because she is an idiot, she just lacks the experience and perspective of the average genre savvy reader. This means that we as the reader will always be at least one step ahead of Candy's guesses and her guesses will often be just plain wrong. She isn't being deliberately dumbed down but she always feels 'dumb' in comparison to us. That combined with the functional uselessness of the good guys in the story and how in the dark they are about everything from 'who is Sev' to 'what is her plan' to 'what is the amulet' to 'who is the Starswirl avatar' to 'what is his plan' to 'what is Discord's plan' to 'what is Chrysalis's plan' to basically every major point of the story means that we just kinda know that Candy will always guess wrong, she honestly doesn't even stand a chance given the odds stacked against her.
And all of this isn't a smack against you as a writer, just to be clear, because writing 'smart' villains is really hard because in writing the line between 'smart' and 'has a copy of the script' is very thin and blurry. Right now Sev feels like she has a touch of 'plot armor' as far as her machinations go, especially considering that the good guys are always on the defensive so no one can ever take the fight back to her. The most they can hope to do, like Candy is trying right now, is to thwart an attack/plan slightly earlier than normal. No one has really scored a 'win' against her. The most they have done, even when they exposed her and tossed her and Chryssy out, was prevented a 'loss' on their side.
7245662 It's easy to hold the idiot ball when you don't have all the information needed, are afraid and protective of those you love and want to believe that none of those could actually be the enemy. Additionally, Candy has someone with unknown but apparently not very good intentions listening in on everything going on. That alone could make anyone freak out.
I don't get why people complain about Candy being stupid. Given the situation, I think she comes across as a real person under a lot of stress who has begun to doubt her own perception of pretty much everything.
I like the detective game here, needs some Pinkie Holmes though.
7247388 You never had any differential calculus class?
7246414 I'm not saying you're wrong, but you also have to remember a bit about plot momentum and fanfiction; most stories where the protagonist and antagonist are dueling it out are completed. If you're left pondering you can read the next chapter and either get it explained or at least become privy to clues to an explanation.
In fanfiction, it's almost never presented prior to completion. We, the readers, are only privy to one chapter at a time. So development from our perspective is much slower compared to other works.
It might show better once the enter piece is done and you were to re-read it again from the beginning. Again, if you are right we won't know unless we wait for it to be done and reread it from the beginning.
So take this as you will.
7247657 The problem with me isn't momentum. In other stories with dueling characters each chapter that unfolds the duel, no matter how slow, is something I look forward to, something I am interested in, but in this story Sev and the changelings are the least interesting part. When a chapter comes out I want to see more about Candy's growth as a person. I want to see more of her interactions with Rarity, Fluttershy, Sweetie, Twilight, and even Discord. I even want to find out more about the pendant and Starswirl's plans. However if the next chapter was "Sev's big offensive" or "Changeling plans all explained" I wouldn't go 'Oh boy!' I would just sigh and slog through it so I could get back to the things in the story I actually care about.
Being slow isn't the problem, being boring is.
7248275 I must disagree as I've been entertained.
7248640 Oh, I've been entertained by this story too. Its just that Sev and the Changelings are rarely the cause. I am way more interested in finding out what the pendant does and what both the Starswirl Avatar and Discord have in mind for it. Sev, not so much. I mean Sev isn't even a real threat. Discord transversed worlds, stopped time, and completely remade Candy's body and brain to get the pendant onto Equestria for some reason. Unless Sev getting the pendant is specifically part of Discord's plan then Sev has no chance of facing off against Discord and Celestia and Luna and Cadance and Twilight and The elements of harmony/Rainbow power and all of the Equestria military, especially when Chrysalis herself (someone significantly stronger than Sev) couldn't do it.
Sev is the annoying wasp constantly harassing the cast while the Pendant itself and Discord are the actual big players. I just want the author to stop hyping up the villain that is just a suped up drone that has spoken maybe 3 lines of dialogue as herself (instead of as the guard imposter), and get to the interesting Pendant/Discord/Candy shit.
I mean really, describe the main villain of the story? What is their goal? What is their personality? Are they ruthless or devious or cold? Impulsive or flamboyant or furious? What do they hope to accomplish? How far are they willing to go to get what they want? Who are they and why should we care about them? Sev has barely said a single word let alone have any motivations. At least Chrysalis wanted the pendant to drain its power to get revenge over being beaten before. Even if the specifics of what the pendant is and how it worked were a mystery at least we knew she was doing something for some reason.
In comparison Sev is just a faceless, almost nameless, annoyance in the background that is constantly trying get the pendant/kill candy somehow so she can do... something? for some reason? and even though she constantly thwarts the good guys attempts to catch/stop her she has yet to actually do anything. Just constantly threaten that she might get to Candy to maybe get the pendant to maybe do something or maybe give it to some other big bad for some reason. Not a lot of information or reason to get invested in what she is doing, especially with Candy and Discord and the Starswirl amulet and Michelle all happening right alongside it.
7248919
Thank you for going into much greater detail concerning your original comments. This does help me a lot, especially in pointing out a place where I may have failed.
Sevfivtoo actually does have a specific goal in mind, and I had thought I had left hints of that along the way, but I apparently did not do a very good job of it. The next chapter is slated to bring this together, but I suppose if the buildup didn't make sense, then this will likely just look like an exposition dump. If that is the case, then I will accept that I didn't do this quite right with this attempt and I'll look to reconsider such plot structures in the future.
When I conceived of this story, I did want it to be mostly about Rachel/Candy developing as a person via larger events that have drawn her in whether she wanted them to or not. In that, I've been dealing with a story of enough complexity that I may not have made all the pieces mesh together quite as well as I would have liked. But the only way to learn is to try something and see if it works. So if everything didn't quite work, it's something I can take as a learning experience in future stories.
7249077 Overall the story has been great so I don't wanna come across as being down on you, its just Sev and the changelings (a single element among many) that have fallen flat to me. As a whole I really like this story. I don't even dislike/hate Sev, its just that she and her plans are not interesting and their 'screen time' happens to take away from the things that are interesting.
I am looking forward to the next chapter where hopefully Sev becomes interesting/starts to matter compared to the reality warping chaos god Discord's pre-existing plans for the pendant. (Really how is Sev supposed to be threatening when Discord both already has plans for the pendant and is clearly on the good guy side given his affection for Fluttershy who is effectively Candy's aunt and would never forgive him if he hurt or through inaction let her get hurt.)
That said even though the next chapter is about Sev and the Changelings I just really want to find out more about the Starswirl Avatar. Is he really Starswirl? Is Michelle really Michelle or is she an imitation by the Avatar to get Candy to co-operate? It clearly is sentient and has not so virtuous plans, what does its Candy have to do with them? Why does it have effectively soul stealing power? I actually want to know more about that mystery but not the mystery of Sev and her machinations. Its a mark of good writing that a reader wants more, its just about a different element than the current focus of the story.
But as a whole you seem like a good writer and ready listener so I'm sure this and your future writings will turn out well.
Sweetie bell is the changeling isn't she?
I'm about to blow everyone's' minds. Sweetie is the changeling! Bet no one guessed that!
*reads comments*
Shit.
Anyway, my theory is that the changeling impersonating Sweetie is either a changeling foal or just a starving changeling Sweetie met and is letting it impersonate her to get its strength back. If it's a foal, perhaps the one that impersonated Cheerlie is the mother.
I'm not so certain it's Lyra they should be watching for. Cheerilee said to keep Sweetie Belle close and now Sweetie Belle is acting strange. I see a pattern here.
Wouldn't thier magic give them away?
Maybe they brainwashed/hypnotized Sweety Belle! I mean didn't Twilight check the crusaders?
it was at this point, i realized.... isn't sweetie belle a changeling? she went from liking candy to very clingy and wanting to spend time 'alone' with her for a whole day.
7244059
I mirror this sentiment.
Candy is the changeling!
Is it just me or has Sweetie been acting off this entire chapter?
At the end of Chapter 33, I'm about ready to go on an Oprah impersonation spree:
You're a changeling, and you're a changeling, and you're a changeling! Everypony's a changeling!