Wandering Sunrise remembers Equestria as it once was: a land of harmony, broken by strife. She was sealed in a Stable-Tec stasis pod the day the Megaspells hit... and she wakes up in a pool of water, surrounded by strangers.
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This line right here make me kind of Laugh. Alguacil walked in with a grumble, “Damn Raider Radio! I’ve seen over two hundred Regulators die from trying to take that place out.” Because later the destruction of Raider Radio take place out of the eye sight of Sunrise and most everyone else. no one will ever know what really take down Raider Radio.
also First.
Damn, I forgot just how much character development was in this sequence.
also, "You dun fucked up" see below ;)
“Well, that is what it’s suppose to mutant creatures into.” - Mutate
Nyota actually pulled his blow but I didn’t have to heart. - The heart to
But yeah I thought you might could use it love.” - might or could needs removing
“The spell matrix, I exposed the magical core to work on it. It had to be turned out while I did it.” - ?Opened up? instead of turned out
Once my PipPony didn’t show any signs of poisoning - Pipbuck
exist.” Nytoa tilted his head - Nyota
growled low under her breath like - Under His breath
Nyota and Scopla left the room - Scopola
Very nice, as always! Nyota's a gentlecolt at heart.
You did what you had to do, Sunrise, it had been worse otherwise
9730547
Might could is Nyota's accent
PipPony is what I meant. Not PipBuck.
Others are fixed.
9730482
But they actually will ;) Trust me there is a way I'm going to write that entire sequence without Sunrise having to physically be there.
9730483
Yes you are.
9730640
Oh she doesn't know it could be worse, yet.
9731068
Yes.
9731065
fair *hug*
Good to see a new chapter! Hope you are doing well. Keep up the good work!
.....brok' ....broke... That's the only correction I see...
9731746
Alguacil's accent, not a correction just how he talks.
Would this be "knows"?
9730482
OUI Von, stop spoiling! 😉
But true, no one will know...
Noice I finally caught up.
So just curious. What were the inspirations for some of the character names? I have a feeling that some of them might be based off of names from other countries.
9735957
I would ask the people who play or played them; themselves because I honestly don't know.
9736132
Ah yeah I keep forgetting this is a collaboration type story. Anyway I actually had raw ideas as to where some of the names may have come from. One being for Nyota, that actually does have an African sound to it. Alguacil strangely enough makes me think of some middle eastern names. While Scopala Mina has a Russian sound to it. That’s just a hunch and not really reliable but that’s just me.
Good to see all the things packed into this chapter! Folks should like it.
9735957
Chifundo is Mercy or Compassion in Chewa/Nyanja of the Bantu family of African languages
9758520
Oh I was in the ballpark that it was of African origin
Could you make it clearer who is speaking in paragraphs like this? I can’t decided if it’s Nyota or the “me” speaking unless I stop and really LOOK at the sentence and parse it. Leaving out the “who is speaking” tags is okay when it is CLEAR who is speaking (such as alternating between two people), but it isn’t always as clear in situations like this.
9798392
fixed.
I am not a fan of chapters that do so little. Moving on.
11854584
They're called setup chapters, they set things up for the next few chapters.