Wandering Sunrise remembers Equestria as it once was: a land of harmony, broken by strife. She was sealed in a Stable-Tec stasis pod the day the Megaspells hit... and she wakes up in a pool of water, surrounded by strangers.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice Work! With the eyepatch, Sunrise reminds me of Blackjack.
Say, could you Imagine her having a Classic Moment with pinkie?
Also, the progress qoute reminds me of a simliar qoute From a RTS Game
Now that was a very well written battle sequence! Even with all the inner monologue and various observations it moved. I found no problems in this chapter. (VERY SUPRISING, BUT MADE ME VERY HAPPY!) Stay at this level of work and your success will be without measure! (YATA..GOOD WORK!)
Wow... what a chapter! Too bad I can't give you another thumbs up. I think I did forty chapters back...
Yes, I'm impressed. How can I say more? I could try, but I don't know HOW!
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I believe it will be chapter 49 or 50 that we will find out Pink's True Motivations.
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I shall try.
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It only results in a ton of surgery! Oh... right.
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Yes but her eye patch is only temporary while the eye heals.
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And the battle is still getting started! Also Wild Wasteland incoming!
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Thank you for following, 47 will be finished tonight. Then it's up to the editors.
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Well, let me know when you get to the points where it kicks you in the heart or if you find places where I made typos, I'll fix them.
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Of course.
As for pinkie if i may say, i meant a Moment where Sunrise is like "don't! Just don't." Or "don't say it!"
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I'm thinking a phrasing moment is in the future.
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Sounds Good to me.
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And if you don't mind, the line I mentioned, it said n a game where you decide if a unit gets an offensive or defensive XP/veteran bonus and if selected in combat, the unit says
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I do not mind.
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Still, familiar to the XP line you used at the end, don't you think?
Idk if you meant to do that but it's a quite amusing play of words in Polish basicly translates to: messed up Village, whoopsie village and quite a few more (ups is one of thoose slang terms that have lots of diffrent meanings depending on context, most commonly as an equivalant to "i messed up")
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Now you know, the rest of the story.
Yay, little pip
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More like LittlePip's very distant cousin but yes inspired by the same.
For a chapter including so much combat, I am surprised to see a distinct lack of Pipbuck target identifying. You know, based on their hostility level and pip color. It's also Nyota's first big combat with his and we don't get to experience it alongside him. There is a chance we get to talk about it after the fact in the next chapter, but it's not the same as experiencing it at the moment. This book doesn't stand by those usual rules, I have to keep reminding myself. Missed opportunity I'd call it.
The combat has this fun goofiness of a video game feel to it. It doesn't have to make sense that Scopola wields a quad-rifled setup. It's just fun having the ability to experience it, even in third person. A powerful, suppressive fire in exchange for accuracy and longer downtime would be a good tradeoff, but it seems like this doesn't affect her combat prowess in any negative way. Being overpowered and invincible is fun for a bit, but boring for a long run. Looking at you, you geen-furred canned tuna.
The bad, the fun and the good, that's how I'd summarize this chapter and the book as a whole.
The bad I'd attribute to character interactions. Almost all of them are fine, but the remaining bit can throw me out of the experience. Here, Sunrise's "diplomatic skills" must have hit a sore score for how she words herself. The annoying part is I know what you want to write, the characters react the way you want, but if I put those words on a stand they don't send the same message.
The good:
I can be quite out of it and then be hit by a 10/10 paragraph like this. Behind those simple words, in that moment, there are a lot of unsaid thoughts coming off of all three of them. The situation is settled very in-character of them, and swiftly at that. Blink and you miss it. There is a 1k word essay waiting to be written here, that's what fascinates me.