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“How are your quarters… majesty?”
Celestia’s head rose at the sound of that deep, scornful voice. It took her no longer than a few seconds for the memories of her waking hours to flash before her, the truth of her location striking her like a rock. She tried to adjust her wing’s position, but the cackling of the shackles made their presence and purpose clear.
She offered no reply to the demon-like human other than a bored snort. Her gaze drifted to the torches that decorated those walls of black stone around her, the strangely green fire that burned within them bathing the dungeon-like room with an emerald tone.
Surveillance flames, she realized. Concentrated dragon fire. He’s constantly watching me.
“Hm. I did offer the best of what I could find, Celestia,” Ganondorf continued, walking to the edge of a nearby wooden table. A rusted, iron chalice was placed over it, and the man took to inspecting it. “Of course, you understand that some… redecorations… were in order, do you not?”
Once more, the question fell on deaf ears. The thief snickered shortly, rising abruptly to his feet and tossing the mug against the wall, the small object becoming completely deformed with a loud clank.
“Where is the Light Force, Celestia? Spare yourself from this suffering and tell me where that wretched power is!!”
A giggle escaped Celestia, which caused the Gerudo to snarl increasingly loud. As if to hide its lack of self-control, he turned around and crossed his arms, remaining in this position until the noise faded entirely.
“The Elements…” Ganondorf spoke again, turning around. “Why could I not use them?”
“Because you ignore the fundamental reason for the Element’s existence,” Celestia finally spoke, much to the man’s surprise. “They are Harmony. They are what cleanses the land from all that threatens peace.”
“Ridiculous,” he simply replied, turning to walk away. “Useless.”
“Do not tire yourself with futile attempts to control what you cannot.” Celestia’s voice rose as Ganondorf distanced himself from her. “They are exactly that. Futile.”
The man stopped at the half-open door. “We shall see about that.”
The loud bang of the door announced his absence.
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They say that unicorns sensitive to changes in the environment can predict future events.
A chill crossed Rarity’s spine.
Perhaps it was the temperature of that dungeon of never-ending stairs, descending to the bowls of the earth at a snail’s pace. After all, the only thing that lit their way was Twilight’s horn, a ‘flashlight spell’, like she called it, and it provided no heat whatsoever. It was them and these desolate, dusty stairs.
Or perhaps it was the ‘hero’s’ outfit. She couldn’t quite put her hoof on it, but it fit him and it didn’t fit him at the same time. Somehow, she couldn’t quite picture the boy in another type of garment, and above all, a different color. Maybe green was just his color. Yet it simultaneously seemed like it was perhaps not his ideal clothing. As if it had been forced upon him.
Or it could be the temple itself. When you think about it, Temple of Time is a name with pretty heavy connotations. You can’t just name a temple after one of existence’s parameters; it has to have implications.
Link didn’t seem to mind it at all, though. In fact, he seemed pretty happy about it, eagerly walking by Twilight’s side, hands flex and relaxing constantly in anticipation.
“The entry chamber is just ahead.” Twilight announced to the ponies behind her. “Keep your eyes open.”
“Cool it, Twilight. We can deal with anything that pops up. Right, AJ?” Rainbow’s enthusiasm, however, was not returned by the cowpony, whose head had remained lowered since entering the temple. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothin’,” she simply replied. “Jus’… thinkin’.”
Rainbow couldn’t lose an opportunity to crack a joke. “Yeah, I can see smoke blowing from your ears.”
“Quit it, both of you,” Twilight chided, carefully taking the last step. She stopped momentarily, struck by a sudden headache that forced her to cancel her spell. After recovering, the flashlight returned, and a quick search revealed the existence of several torches on the walls, which the unicorn easily set aflame with magic.
The new compartment was a rather plain room, populated by four, pony-like statuettes, their big, perfectly circular eyes watching their every step while four other, lonesome pillars, arranged in a square, stood across them.
While Rarity marveled at its surprisingly pristine condition, with its marble-white walls reflecting the light from the flames as if it had just been built, Twilight focused on finding an origin for the obscene amounts of magic that flooded the room. The search yielded no results, however; it was as if the power that swarmed her mind and body was emanated by the very walls.
It was the next section of the temple that left the visitors’ jaws hanging in awe.
Unlike the entrance, this room was massive, a round segment with walls composed entirely of stained glass paintings, illuminated from behind by an unseen source. They stretched from the entry arch to the one directly across the room, and both Twilight and Link were overjoyed to spot the caricatures of beings just like the Hylian in these paintings, some of them hoisting glistening blades while others held small chests in their hands, obviously caught in the act of presenting them.
However, it was the fact that these boxes were being offered to a pair of tall, winged unicorns that drew their attention. Not just that, but in many other instances of the colorful windows, these men were shown amidst other ponies: atop hills to chart the Equestrian lands, alongside ingenious unicorns revising the process of building enormous, complex machines, even locked in festive combat with armed soldiers, both equine and human.
“It’s a repository…” Twilight mumbled, walking very slowly along the walls so as to take in each and every detail of the beautiful pictures. “This data must be thousands of years old… I’ve never seen a book in the library about it…”
“Hey, Twi…” The unicorn turned at Rainbow’s voice, finding the pegasus directly in the middle of the room with her other friends, casting an awed gaze at the ceiling. “You’re gonna want to see this…”
Intrigued, Twilight stood by their side and looked up. The moment her eyes settled on the spectacle above, her jaw nearly hit the ground.
The ceiling – which from afar was but a boring, pure-white mass of stone – revealed to possess a magnificent dome-like structure in its center. Just like the walls around it, the ceiling, too, was made entirely of stained glass, but unlike the rest of the room, it was a single, gigantic picture.
The most prominent figure in the depiction was a golden, triangular shape, from whence an almost sacred light radiated; it floated down from the heavens, and bathed the green lands and soaring mountains below it with its beauty.
On the right, with their glorified wings flared, were the unmistakable figures of the princesses, standing next to each other atop a mountain with their heads raised. Behind them was a large extension of forests; a palace rose majestically from its thick foliage under a sky blessed by both a crescent moon and a bright sun at least twice its counterpart’s size.
On the left was the most peculiar character, one who appeared from a mass of golden clouds as though it were a heavenly figure: what was a clearly a human female rode a winged equine, its windswept mane appearing to be the flames of a fire while its coat was as white as snow. The human, a stunning fair lady, wore a long, light pink tunic, and held a soft green sword in one hand while the other held a gilded lyre. A similar aureole surrounded her head like a crown, further accenting her blessed form.
“Could that be… the Light Force?” Twilight was the first to hypothesize, turning to Link for confirmation. The boy simply shrugged. “Princess Luna said that they were given the Light Force and that the Hylian were also given power… does that mean that… she… gave it?”
Olivia flew higher above, stopping next to the woman’s portrait. “There’s something written on the lyre… H-Y-L-I-A…”
Twilight’s eyes went wide. “…Hylia?”
“You know that name?” the fairy asked, evidently surprised.
“I… it was in the Sky Book… the Hylians worshipped this… Hylia,” the unicorn sought for Link’s eyes. “She’s… she’s a goddess, isn’t she?”
The boy gave a faint nod.
“Amazing… Hylia gave the Light Force to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna…”
“We all saw how that ended, though,” Olivia cut in, fluttering to Celestia’s position. “That thing got us in this mess.”
“So if that’s Hylia,” Twilight continued, seemingly ignoring the fairy’s words. “Then who is the pegasus she’s riding?”
“Hey, it’s Nightmare Moon!”
Everyone in the room turned at Rainbow’s exclamation; indeed, the stained glass she observed, one to the right of the entrance, depicted no less than the evil alicorn herself. In a storybook-like manner, the tale they had been taught since young about Luna unfolded, from the princess’s corruption to Celestia’s heroic act of banishing her foe to the moon.
Something was different this time, however. Where books sugarcoated the narrative by focusing on the lives of commoners, they concealed a much grimmer side of the struggle that these windows had no problem in exerting.
What was clearly a wide army of armored ponies marched under stormy night skies into a forest, their mission to reach the ruined castle seen with such splendor in the illustration above. Ominous clouds, stained with the darkest shade of blue, spiraled around this fortress, casting the anger of their thunders upon the lands, commanded by the silhouette that flew above all.
Yet not all was darkness. Three spheres of light guided the ponies to their fate, bathing the woods in a hallowed glow and shunning the nightmare’s malevolent creations away. These three spheres of light were consistently depicted in all of the subsequent panels, always shown as some sort of miraculous guide to the forces of Celestia.
One last picture showed three ponies of each of the three races, each of them holding one of these spheres in their hooves while the alicorn of the sun’s wings, spread wide behind them, protected the ponies from the sinister clouds that crept from either side of the panel.
Then… they simply ceased to exist.
The next portraits showed nothing they didn’t know: encircled by the Elements of Harmony, Celestia strode forward into the night sky, and when the two powerful entities met, the threat that was Nightmare Moon disappeared at last.
Twilight looked around frantically, searching for another hint on the three spheres; but they were nowhere to be seen anymore.
Without a word more, the unicorn dashed into the next room, theories about the truth of the triad of objects occupying her mind all the way. This had to be it; the relics that Celestia had mentioned.
Her disappointment was almost palpable when the contents of the new section revealed to be scarce; instead of inheriting the richly decorated aspect of its predecessor, it had returned to the sparseness of the entry one. It was a massive segment, no doubt; perhaps even bigger than the historical repository. However, all it contained was a gigantic stone statue set on a pedestal, big enough to contain two characters inside.
While she identified Princess Celestia standing next to an elaborately designed harp - one familiar to Twilight – she couldn’t recognize the other pony. Clearly a unicorn mare, she wore some sort of armor over a long robe, its breastplate taking on the aspect of five horizontal lines adorned with seven circles. From the position of a hoof on her chest and head directed upwards, she was in the act of singing, most likely accompanying the other pony.
“I was wondering what had happened to her.” The sound of Rarity’s crestfallen voice startled Twilight, prompting her to turn around in a short leap. Her fellow unicorn stood at the entrance, casting a forlorn gaze at the immortalized ponies. “Her… she’s Natural Scale.”
Twilight gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I’m not exactly versed in music…”
“It’s fine.” Rarity sympathetically smiled, walking closer to the librarian. “They used to have a statue of her in Canterlot, but they removed it. She was a student of Celestia’s once too, you know?” Though she didn’t expect an answer, Twilight nodded regardless. “She studied music. She was the first pony ever to study that with Celestia, so she sang with her every day and every night, every day of the week. I tell Sweetie Belle about her whenever she tells me that she doesn’t want to sing.”
“You want her to be like Natural Scale, right?”
Rarity nodded in reply, the sheer thought of having the sister she saw like a daughter making the fur in her coat stand on end. “I would be so proud.”
“There’s no exit from here.” Olivia declared from the other end of the room, where a stone slab made of a distinctively different material blocked the path ahead.
Link walked forth, taking the Ocarina of Time from his pocket. “Stand back, I’m gonna try something.”
“You know that not everything opens up with a song, right?”
“It’s the Temple of Time, the Master Sword is right there!”
“What’s going on?” Twilight piped in.
“He wants to play a song to the door,” the fairy deadpanned. “Says the ‘Master Sword’ is behind it.”
“The Master Sword?!”
A song echoed throughout the temple by now. Looking past Olivia, the unicorn found Link standing in front of the door, already playing the little musical instrument to the stone slab. She approached him silently, the rest of the ponies inching closer as well in the same quiet manner, should any noise they produce distract the Hylian from his performance.
When the music stopped, silence lingered in the room, the last few notes of the melody fading to silence in the far ends of the temple.
But nothing happened. Incredulity dawned on Twilight and Link’s features.
“That was anticlimactic,” Rainbow dully noted from the back of the room.
“I don’t get it,” the boy mumbled. “M-Maybe it’s another song. Maybe there’s another way in.”
“…It’s over…”
The depressiveness with which these words had been uttered surprised even the ponies, and even more when they realized just who had spoken them.
Rarity was the first to move forward. “Twilight? What do you mean?”
“We needed the Master Sword to defeat Ganondorf… Now we don’t have that, the princesses are gone, and all I have from her is that stupid scroll.”
“Still, I hardly think that-”
“Don’t you get it?! Discord’s back, Nightmare Moon is back, everything we fought to defeat returned! Hay, why doesn’t Chrysalis try to invade Canterlot again too?!” Olivia shrunk back at the mention of the unfortunate event. “And this time, we don’t even have the Elements of Harmony! We don’t have the princesses! We don’t have anything!”
“What about him?” Rainbow hazarded the question, only to reel back at the sight of a sobbing lavender mare.
“…He’s just as helpless as we are.” Twilight paused momentarily to look at the Hylian in the eyes, and her distraught stare in that brief silence hurt like the edge of a sword slicing his neck. “It was all about the sword.”
The pegasus was none the more convinced, however. “But we can’t just give up! We have the scroll! We have ourselves!”
But her words fell on deaf ears, as the unicorn was already walking away. She stopped next to Celestia’s statue and slowly rose to her backlegs to touch the sculpture with a hoof. The dim trail of a tear blemished the side of her snout, the speck of water shining faintly under the light of the torches. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
As Twilight made her way towards the temple’s exit, Olivia and Link exchanged worried looks (or, so he assumed she was feeling). Their thoughts were likely more or less the same: they had been declared useless at the eyes of the only mare that believed in them from the beginning.
The boy still searched for solace in the rest of the present, but between Rarity’s sad frown and the steady glare the pegasus punished him with, he had nowhere to turn. Even Applejack, who had remained quiet throughout the visit, chose not to face them in the eye.
He was left with the coldness of the stone obstacle. It taunted him, mocked him because he could not find the key to unveiling its secrets.
The experience he gathered from surpassing the obstacles placed to him by Ganondorf and even the Goddesses themselves had taught him one thing, however: there was always a way past a door. This one, in a place that ironically equaled his namesake, would be no exception.
They say that the Princess of the Sun once had a student she loved like a daughter.
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“I see you have plans of your own.”
Suddenly, he was no longer proceeding towards the royal throne.
The walls had disappeared, the floor and ceiling had collapsed, and everything became a great, infinite blanket of stars and darkness. Before him swirled the shape of an alicorn, its body entirely composed of a starry texture, its eyes bright spheres of light that threatened to blind those who looked into them. This was none other than the spirit of Nightmare Moon, the corruption bred from greed of a princess of the night.
Ganondorf, however, knew better than to be afraid of something like this. Quite on the contrary: he was utterly annoyed at the intrusion.
“Keep your doubts to yourself. You’re here because I allowed you to,” he ruthlessly replied.
“You seem to forget that I helped you escape centuries of imprisonment in the Twilight Realm.”
“I am starting to ponder whether or not that sentence would have been a lighter burden.”
The alicorn’s eyes narrowed, and it took a step forward. “We have a deal to honor.”
“Indeed we do. Perhaps another term to our contract is in order.”
“You realize I only intrude whenever it is necessary.”
“No, you do not. Should I ever feel the need for your ‘intrusion’, I shall request so myself. Otherwise… begone.”
“Hm. You seem rather distracted,” a foreign voice spoke, and just as abruptly, the world faded back to existence.
Ganondorf blinked several times and rubbed his head, the constant zapping between planes of existence beginning to take their toll. With every time Nightmare Moon would claim his body, it would be as if he ceased to exist momentarily, only to return soon after; not an entirely pleasant feeling. Once his vision was clear enough, a draconequus took shape before him, briefly startling him and earning a snigger from the chimera.
“What do you wish, Spirit of Chaos?” the thief spoke as nonchalantly as he could muster.
“Oh, please, what is the difficulty of simply calling me Discord?” the spirit answered, floating towards the throne. With a snap of his fingers, the place fitting only for an alicorn was quickly adjusted to a regular chair, where Discord quickly sat down. “You see, I have a question…”
The direction the conversation was beginning to assume did not please Ganondorf in the least, and he made his annoyance clear with his words. “…what manner of question?”
“You see, you seem to have destroyed the only thing that could possibly hold me back, so…” Another snap of his fingers created a glass cup filled with water. Taking a sip, the distinct odor of wine appeared confirmed that the purple liquid that took the water’s place was, indeed, wine. “What exactly still ties us together?”
“…Are you, perhaps, suggesting-”
“Oh no no no! I would never suggest anything!” The cup floated to Ganondorf’s side, and Discord beaconed for him to grab it. “I am simply asking myself why I should still abide to you.”
The moment the cup touched his lips, it exploded into droplets of water, effectively wasting the last of the man’s patience. He curled his hands into fists and willed himself into the air, a purple flame beginning to envelope his entire body. Discord allowed himself to raise an eyebrow, curious about this sudden display of magic.
“Perhaps you would prefer that I showed you exactly why you should bow before me,” he spoke, his voice surprisingly calm, a sharp contrast with the violent way with which he showed the back of his left hand to the chimera. “When you were shamefully defeated by those pitiful alicorns a thousand years ago, a goddess descended upon Equestria and granted them an incredible power. I, too, was blessed with such power.” As if to confirm his words, the triangular mark on the hand shone with a golden light. “This power was created with the express purpose of balancing your chaotic nature. Why do you think you had so little influence over this castle before?”
Discord truly gasped. “What the… that is impossible… you could not have known…”
“A… friend… has generously granted me with some knowledge of your kingdom.” Simply mentioning Nightmare Moon in those terms stung his tongue. “You see, Discord… I still hold all the cards.”
The chimera snarled audibly, slowly floating off the throne.
“Now then… you are to find the remaining parts of the Light Force,” Ganondorf instructed, setting down on the ground. “Find… and extract them by whatever means necessary.”
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“SUUUPRIIIIIIIISE!”
While Link was kept from falling to the ground by Rarity and Applejack as a cloud of confetti impacted his face directly, Twilight proceeded into the treehouse with the same excitement she’d carried from the Temple of Time, practically ignoring the heavily decorated library, the banners sprawled all over the walls, and simply heading up towards her room. The loud crashing of her door echoed throughout the house for some moments, with Pinkie regaining her momentum almost immediately.
“Oooh! You’re Link! You’re Link, right? You have to be Link, because that’s what the name of the Hero is!”
The Hylian’s eyes couldn’t grow any wider from the sudden bombardment of questions that ensued from the pink pony who assaulted him without a word of warning. It took Rarity to split the twosome, with Pinkie heading off to the other side of the library in a string of incomprehensibly fast statements.
“Excuse her. She’s… easily excitable,” the unicorn briefly explained, trotting ahead. “Pinkie, dear, this is hardly the time for a party.”
Pinkie was hardly detracted from her goals. “I know that! But it’s when you say that when you don’t need a party that you need a party the most!”
“I… see,” Rarity sighed, looking around; she really had set everything up in preparation for Link’s arrival. “Where is Fluttershy, dear?”
“Home! She was soooo tired when she got to Ponyville!”
“Hm. I see.”
“Hey, huh, Rarity…” Applejack spoke from the entrance. “Ah can’t stay. Applebloom’s pro’ly mighty worried.”
Rarity held a hoof to her head. “Oh, you are certainly right. Poor Sweetie Belle must be worried sick as well.”
Pinkie instantly deflated at the sound of those words. “Aw… no party?”
“We’d love ta, Pinkie, but… It’s jus’ not the time, ‘kay?”
“Link?” Olivia suddenly called out loud, flying anxiously from one side of the library to the other. “Where’s Link?”
Pinkie took a quick look around as well; her attention, however, settled on the lack of a certain decoration she’d set up specifically for this occasion.
“…where’s the bottle of cider?”
You don't suppose the bottle of cider is the key to opening the Doors of Time, would it?
Wait... Is Link about to get drunk off his ass?
That concept is... interesting
A crossover between ponies and Legend of Zelda.
Well...
This is getting confusing.
From what I gather from my knowledge of Zelda lore, FiM lore and what I've read so far:
The Triforce is the essence left behind by the 3 Goddesses who created the world on which Hyrule exists.
It was sealed in the Temple of Time along with the Master Sword.
Ganondorf tried to seize the Triforce, but was unworthy, receiving only the Triforce of Power while the other 2 parts were incarnated within Link and Zelda. These can never be removed unless one of the wielders extracts the other 2 from the other wielders to merge them.
The Light Force was gifted to Celestia and Luna by a goddess named Hylia and is the equal in power of a split Triforce, not the True Triforce.
This was somehow enough to Defeat Discord (which breaks canon, the Elements defeated him) but not Nightmare Moon (presumably because she had half the Light Force?).
There are 3 relics that we don't know the origin of, which somehow are capable of summoning, creating, or transforming ponies into the Elements of Harmony.
The Elements then were used to send Nightmare to the Moon and lay dormant until the Mane 6 activated them to redeem NMM into Luna.
Ganondorf has now destroyed the Elements which is why they need the relics to recover them.
Twilight was given the Light Force by Celestia and Luna has the other half. There might be a 3rd if Lyra's actions are indication.
Ganondorf seeks the Light Force because obtaining it will give him power equal to the true Triforce. (Even though with the Triforce of Power and NMM he is powerful enough he doesn't really need it.
NMM wants Celestia, Luna, the Mane 6, Elements and Discord nullified so she can rule Equestria, and is using Ganondorf for those ends, promising him the Light Force so he can use it to do the same to Hyrule.
Please correct any misconceptions I may have.
Why the plural?
I believe you mean "yielded."
I'd drop the "much."
It's a song, calling it now.
Oh, dear
1177804
Profuse apologies. I did not intend that post as a reply.
I blame how laggy the site is on my phone browser.
You would stop the chapter right there, wouldn't you?
You task me, Wandering Quill. Task me.
I have to admit that I am rather confused right now, but I like where this story is going and hope for it to clarify things as it goes along.
Bottle of cider? NONSENSE! Everyone knows that REAL MEN get drunk off of MILK!
1177708
Alright, let me try to clear things however I can:
I suppose I haven't cleared this up yet (pardon me, but I have the really bad habit of leaving hundreds of different possibilities for stuff behind and then clear most stuff afterwards), but the Light Force was gifted to them after Discord was defeated; this means that Discord was still defeated by the Elements, and that Hylia came afterwards to give them the Light Force. Nightmare Moon was created from a corruption of Luna's half of it, and yes, the Light Force was useless against her because she had another half of it.
The relation between the relics and the Elements isn't exactly that one (as in, they aren't looking for one because the other is gone), and the relics aren't replacements for the Elements (and again I apologize for my habit of leaving clues and only explaining it later).
Otherwise, yus, you nailed it for the most part.
1177616 I know that, I just couldn't found a proper pun for Japanese and went with Shiro not knowing which language it was xD
1177429 Welp, now you've spoiled the whole story. :|
1177817 :3
1178536
1178651 Hum, yes, like I mentioned above, I have that habit. I hope to clear it in the upcoming chapters.
1179267 I was tempted to drop that joke, but only Romani Chateau seems to be alcoholic, so it was a bit of a dead end xD
1180158
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I'm going to take a shot at this: the relics are: a purple crown, presumably worn by Rarity; a black-mohawked imperial guard helmet, and/or something else...
That would be somewhat of an explanation of the main picture, and if they aren't, could you tell me why there is a silhouette of Queen Rarity and a Royal Guard, with poorly erased outlines of the heads?
1180195 Because my artistic skills are less than ideal. OTL
But the main picture is related though; it's supposedly Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane, and yus they're related xD
As for the relics, weeeeeeeell... :3
1177949
My bad on all of those, thanks for pointing it out. OTL
1180158
Thanks.
1180212 And what about Chanceller Puddinghead?
1181708
I have about three versions of that image, and one of them includes her; but the quality of the screenshot I got of her wasn't very good, so I decided not to include her there. But yes, she should be there too.
In a way, it's kind of appropriate that she's not there.
Oops, spoilers.
1181720
Riversong: Spoilers!
1177429
-deadpan- Yes, the door seriously needs to get drunk
Guys, do you not get it? Natural Scale had five lines and seven circles on her statue. SHE HAS THE EQUESTRIAN VERSION OF ZELDA'S LULLABY. >_>
I think that the song they need to play, is the same one that natural scale and celestia would sing together long ago, and it needs to either be sung by sweetie bell, or played on a harp by Lyra instead of a ocarina, or both. Also, (if I haven't missed something big and possibly obvious) the three relics may be the equivalent of the three link needed to find to initially open the door of time in OOT and they will need to find those.
1183294
And he has some tiny paces at this age
1185202
Honestly, I could've sworn it was on the left hand. Then again, I've seen both versions everywhere, so I didn't know which way to turn. OTL
I'm surprised that I haven't seen many, many more FiM/Zelda crossovers floating around here, and even moreso that the one I do find is quite the treat to read!
However, fanfiction.net has made me loath to give any sort of feedback on a story without some critique or criticism, so I'd like to point out a few things. First and foremost, a lot of your paragraphs start out very vague, especially when switching between different scenes. When describing new scenery, you often use "the" to depict new things for the first time. This is confusing, as using "the" to direct the sentence toward a noun implies that the reader knows beforehand what the noun is. For example, you depict scenes in a manner like this:
You write better than that, of course, but the problem exists in both that quote and throughout your story. By describing things as "the dungeon" and "the massive archway", it implies to the reader that they should have known about these beforehand. It creates confusion, and makes the reader feel like they've missed something by suddenly jumping into things. Using "a" or sometimes even no pronoun at all when appropriate is much more clear, better describing things to the reader, like such:
Also, in regards to clarity when changing scenes, it's usually best to clearly depict a character or a setting as soon as possible. Your transition from the ponies and Link in the Temple of Time to "Suddenly, he was no longer proceeding towards the royal throne." is very confusing. I wound up reading the paragraph underneath that line twice, before finally realizing that you reveal "him" to be Ganondorf later on. I can understand if you're trying to go for dramatic effect here, but because the setting goes from nonspecific walls and floors to a starry void, I couldn't tell if it was Ganon being contacted or Discord or even some other pony. Simply changing "he" to "Ganondorf" in that first line would've made the whole thing a lot less confusing, and would've even upped the dramatic effect because now we specifically know that something is happening to our main antagonist.
Aside from that, however, your writing seems pretty solid! If you were to sort out the vagueness issues, then this story would become really compelling. Keep up the good work!
1177349
Nah, the dude who voiced Esbern from Skyrim.
BUT MORE GROWLY!
1183294
Because the person holding the controller is a Call of Duty player who thinks they're good, but cant back up anything they say :D
Oh, and they've never played a LoZ game because they are 7 ^3^
1226649
Funny you'd mention that, I'm rewriting the last part of the first chapter as we speak xD
I mentioned the timeline in the summary, but for all matters, it's in the period between Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask (so it's a confirmed sequence).
and then ponies just got awesomer
excellent contrast of oot very well played sir
1189550
Ah yes, by the way, thank you very much for the advice; I tried to follow it in this chapter, so hopefully I accomplished that goal.
I can't help but snicker in knowing that each time Ganondorf presents his Triforce piece, every person thus far has cringed before him. It's like he's about to Triforce Power back hand bitch slap some one.
Also leave it to said Ganondorf to make the spirit of Chaos truly shiver in knowing what he possesses.
1226960 I should have you know that majoras mask and ocarina of time happen at the same time. They are just alternate storylines.
1177660 if you have ever played a zelda game you know that a bottle has 101 uses.
1884806 yup.
In Ocarina, when adult Link defeats Ganon, Zelda sends him back into the past to give him back the 7 years he lost to the Temple of Time, creating a split in the timeline, one where he has yet to defeat Ganon and be sent back, one where he has already beaten Ganon in the future and doesn't need to worry about it, so he goes a-wandering, and Majora's Mask happens. In this second timeline, Ganondorf is captured and sentenced to execution, but because of the temporal weirdness gains the Triforce of Power anyway and cannot be killed, and so he gets banished to the Twilight Realm, setting the stage for the Twilight Princess game to happen in a few centuries.
...Meanwhile, the timeline where Adult Link defeats Ganon and seals him away in the Sacred Realm eventually gives rise to A Link To The Past seceral centuries down the line, after the Sacred Realm is corrupted by Ganon's presence and becomes the Dark World and the evil wizard Ahganim opens a portal to free Ganon and his dark armies.
Incoming drunk Link