It started when the phone rang.
Twilight Sparkle and Tempest Shadow both looked up from the books they had been engaged in and stared at the phone for a few seconds before both got to their hooves and walked over to it.
"It's probably for you," Tempest said.
Twilight shrugged and nudged the phone over to Tempest. "Maybe, but this will give you a chance to interact with some ponies. You can't just hang around me all of the time. Think of this as another friendship lesson!"
Tempest quietly sighed as the phone rang again. "Perhaps, but I think it's better that you do it. Your friends are the ponies who call here the most."
"Well, then you can talk to one of my friends." Twilight elbowed Tempest and motioned to the phone with a wing. "Come on. You'll do fine. I'll even put it on speaker so I can listen to how you do."
"If you say so," Tempest said with a shake of her head. "Very well, Twilight. I'll try it your way."
"I know you'll do great!" Twilight pushed the speaker button and walked over to a stack of books to refile. "I'll be right here."
Tempest took another deep breath, took the headset off of the receiver and placed it over her head. "Good afternoon. This is Tempest. At Castle Friendship. To whom am I speaking?"
"Yes, this is Legit Collector with the Equestrian Revenue Services. We are calling to inform you that you are currently under investigation for tax evasion."
Tempest raised an eyebrow. "I thought I'd been pardoned of all crimes against Equestria."
"I um... yes... well, not this one. We were not made aware of it. In front of me I have a warrant for your arrest, which I will sign and deliver to the local law enforcement if you do not pay the required amount of nine thousand, two hundred and fifty-five bits and thirty cents. Failure to pay will result in seizure of all property, bank accounts, passports, and other items we may use to pay off the debt. On top of that, you will also receive ten years in an Equestrian penitentiary."
Tempest's eyes narrowed and she began grinding her hoof into the floor.
"If you pay the full amount now, we will consider the matter closed. If you fight the matter in court and lose you will be subject to the penalties I have mentioned."
Tempest bared her teeth and ground her hoof into the floor hard enough that she began cracking the crystal.
"Oh, um... you can hang up on him, Tempest," Twilight said, rushing over to her. "He's just--"
"How dare you," Tempest growled. "How dare you attempt to scam me!"
"Miss Tempest, this is not a scam. You--"
"I have commanded armies! I have been at the head of the force that conquered your pathetic nation! I have turned your princesses into stone and chained your fellow subjects!" Tempest roared. She tore the headset off and threw it on the table. "I will not be insulted by the likes of you!"
Twilight flattened her ears and gingerly walked up to Tempest. "Tempest, there's no reason to get this angry. It's just a scammer. Remember your friendship lessons!"
Tempest scoffed and wheeled around. "Friendship lessons? Your nation is weak to allow one such as him to even exist! In the Storm King's nation we would have put him to the sword! If he--"
Twilight sighed. Here she went again. She'd learned months ago that it was just best to let Tempest tire herself out instead of attempting to stop her. Twilight picked up the phone headset and put it on before looking back to Tempest, who had begun ranting and pacing.
"I'm pretty sure that I told you about the risks involved in scamming?"
"Oh... oh it's you. What the heck is her problem?"
"Well, she's been through a lot lately, and she doesn't handle frustration well. We're working with her on it."
"And if I ever get my hooves on him, I will not show him--"
"Plus she's been raised in an environment that's not quite as... peaceful as ours."
"I... see? So she's just going to go on like that."
Twilight looked back at Tempest and saw that Starlight had poked her head into the room. Starlight sighed and gingerly walked up to her.
"Hey there, buddy. The sun's getting real low--"
"--standards! You need to prove to him that you are not one to be trifled with, Sparkle. That is the only way you're going to be respected in--"
Twilight shook her head. "Yeah, of all of the ponies you've called, she's probably the one you least want to get her hooves on you. She wasn't lying about leading an army and taking over Canterlot. Plus she learned how to torture and stuff, so there's that too."
"Oh. Oh I get it. This is another attempt to get me all freaked out while you have a laugh at me. Well it won't work, Miss Sparkle! You're not going to fool me this time! You're lying about this Tempest pony and what she does. Go fuck yourself."
*Click*
Twilight flinched when she heard crashing behind her, alongside Starlight's futile attempts to calm Tempest. She sighed and shook her head, gently placing the headset back onto the receiver.
"I'm... really not."
I dunno, about ranking each chapter but my favorite by far was Pinkie. I love playing along with them until they realize I'm not being serious and get mad.
This is personally my fave chapter!
I understood that reference
Aww, don't make me choose...
And seriously, Legit, read a newspaper some time.
I think you probably ought to mark this incomplete, while there are so many chapters still coming after it was first labelled complete?
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Because I didn't know I'd keep going. Probably did need to change it.
Ooooh, rankings, let me think... I'll do a top 5:
I'd say my number one would be Maud. The simple, yet effective way she trolled the scammer into hanging up was, to quote a certain kirin, hai-larious.
Second would be Twilight, because even though I'm not nearly good enough with programming to pull stunts like this, it remains a bit of a dream of mine to pull this.
Celestia'd be third, simply because she did nothing but give her name to make the scammer realize how far out of his depth he was.
Fourth would be Trixie, for out-lawyering the scammer.
Fifth is Pinkie for throwing the full Pinkie experience at the scammer.
So Tempest=Hulk. I can see it, but I doubt Legit Collector would like it much if she where to show up.
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What he said. Give the Elements and their adversaries some recognition, dangit!
I think that only works for Black Widow haha.
PLEASE do a chapter with discord... maybe as a finale
Have it be one of the CMC next!
"Technically, we're minors. We don't pay taxes yet."
1: A fight between Twilight and Dash. I love both how they dealt with their respective spam calls and I simply can't choose. I am willing to fight this answer, but I laughed the hardest at both of them. Both the same amount so we can't base on which one killed me more.
2. Trixie: She was awesome. She knew her shit. It was funny imagining her channeling her inner Twilight. Maybe Twilight rubbed off on her more than Trixie thought she did.
3. Maud: She knew it was a scammer. Said it was a Scammer, and left Boulder to deal with it. It was sad that Boulder had to deal with all that negativity which I marked down for that reason.
I'll probably run a top 3
Pinkie: The way she just followed along with him and even went to the store. She wound up trolling him without really actively trying, or maybe she did. Ya just never know with Pinkie and that's why it's great.
Trixie: Having Trixie actually know legal jargon actually does fit with the fact she travels a lot and would have to know about these things regardless to if she wanted to. Making this one very believable while still being Trixie-esque
Twilight: Changing it up to a computer scam was great for her and the tables being turned through a virus was very funny to follow through.
I have to disagree with Fizzlepop here. The Storm King was basically a FlimFlam Brother with an army, I doubt he'd have executed scammers in his lands when he could have put them to work selling his merch instead.
now i want to see discord and sunset and flimflam brother, I do hope flimflam brother fall for it.
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The Flim Flam Brothers are scammers! Why the hell would fellow scammers fall for a scheme like this? They may be stupid, but i would think that they would sniff a "scheme" from a mile away! Judging by how everyone else didn't fall for it!
My favorite chapter will be when they all show up at the scammer's "office" and proceed to fulfill all of their threats. Ahh, catharsis, even if it is a fictional scammer getting fictional just desserts...
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I can seem them fall for it or one of them falling for it while other try to talk one that is fall out o fit.
Honestly, with Tempest I sort of expected her to have had a plan set up from a previous phone call to track the scammer down and crash through the wall of their room as soon as they called.
EDIT: Oh and as far as ranking goes, let's see... 1 is highest ranked, 12 is lowest.
1. Pinkie Pie
2. Twilight
3. Applejack
4. Fluttershy
5. Rainbow Dash
6. Maud
7. Tempest
8. Princess Luna
9. Rarity
10. Trixie
11. Princess Celestia
12. Chrysalis
It was pretty hard to rank them, seeing as how they're all funny to me
My hope is that when the Flim and Flam chapter comes, they actually manage to switch things on the scammer and scam him in turn. It'd be fun to see Legit Collector believing that he in fact was under scrutiny for some ill-defined legal offense (y'know, besides being a scammer), and that with Flim and Flam's legal assistance (at a 'fair rate'), they could make all of his problems go away.
I mean, or you could make them bumbling idiots. Either works in my book.
I know everyone else is commenting on this, but... it's just too good.
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I second the motion.
Twilight's was my absolute favorite chapter.
I'm still waiting for cadence and shining armor
Trixi's was best, Maud and then Celestia's for me. At lest so far. Fluttershy's is up there too, if only because you left it up to our imaginations what, exactly, Angel did to him.
I want him to call Flim and Flam only to get schooled on how to properly do a con.
It would be interesting if somepony actually did fall for the con, and some how it goes even worse.
Tempest scoffed and wheeled around. "Friendship lessons? Your nation is weak to allow one such as him to even exist! In the Storm King's nation we would have put him to the sword! If he--"
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i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/017/204/CaptainAmerica1_zps8c295f96.JPG
*Shakes head as he had to provide the meme pic for you*
Tempest's reaction is by far the best!
These are all good, but I think that ultimately, Fluttershy's is my favorite. Both for the ferrets doing her taxes, and for how she outsources dealing with scammers to Angel Bunny.
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I'd like to see them scam the scammer.
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now that would be great.
I have already commented about my personal favorite, but not a list, so here it goes:
1. Twilight Sparkle - No matter how good the future chapters will turn out to be, vicious hacker Twilight is THE BEST!!!
2. Tempest Shadow (in association with Twilight, of course), Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Maud and Boulder
3. Rainbow Dash, Trixie, Pinkie Pie, Bon-Bon, Fluttershy
4. Applejack, Rarity, Chrysalis
Yes, it is THAT difficult for me to rank them one by one, they are too awesome. :)
I am hoping for future:
-Discord
-Prince Blueblood
-Ember (I know, she isn't Equestrian citizen, but our dear scammer has already bypassed that filter by calling Chrysalis)
-Spitfire
-Lightning Dust
-Diamond Tiara (considering her father IS a smart, rich businesspony).
I love it when they insult you, like I'm some horrible person for not falling for their attempt to scam me out of my hard earned money.
We now have an ending for the series:
"Yes, this is Legit Collector with the Equestrian... who are you and what you doing in my hoAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
"Um, hello? Are you OK?"
"Don't worry about him, he just suffered some self-inflicted injuries while resisting arrest."
Ahhh Tempest, edge waaaaifu to the stars, hahaha.
Good lawd, friendship lessons can only get you so far.
Good show.
nice age of ultron reference
I was kind of hoping Tempest would be more tranquil intimidating.
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I see what you did there
so far, Twilight's chapter is my favorite because I'm an IT geek, followed immediately by Pinkie Pie's chapter, because of how sincere she is about sending an apology cupcake
I've never seen Age of Ultron. Can someone explain the reference to me?
whoops. Did not mean to double-comment...
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Black Widow sings to Hulk to get him to calm down.
So, what, the complete conquest of Equestria and imprisonment/death of the reigning Diarchs wasn't news worthy? The leader of the victorious invading army was never mentioned by the papers or TV? The name of the fourth Princess has never been in the papers? Or is Legit just that much of a schmuck?
Yeah ... he's that much of a schmuck.