It started when the phone rang.
The Human Seven all checked their pockets and purses for their cellphones, and it was Sunset who realized that hers was the one ringing. She sighed and shook her head.
"Oh, sorry, girls. One second." Sunset slid her cellphone out of her purse, hit the answer button and held it to her ear with her shoulder.
"Hello, this is Sunset."
"Yes, hello, my name is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Service. I am calling to inform you that you are under investigation for tax evasion."
Sunset frowned and put her phone on speaker, placing it on the middle of the table the group was sitting at.
"Um, I'm not totally sure how that happened. I've been getting my tax returns every year. I thought that the..." Sunset frowned and tilted her head, exchanging confused looks with the other girls. "Wait... did you say 'Equestrian' Revenue Service?"
"Yes, I did, Miss Sunset. Now, according to our records, you owe the Equestrian government nine thousand, four hundred and sixty-three bits. Should you fail to pay this amount then you will spend no less than ten years in an Equestrian penitentiary. Do you understand what I have just told you?"
"Um, yeah, but..." Sunset scoffed and shook her head. "I'm not in Equestria. I'm not even in that dimension. You've just called an alternate dimension where none of us are ponies."
"Oh ha, ha, Miss Sunset. I must ask that you take this seriously. Lying to an ERS officer carries an additional penalty of five years in prison and another ten thousand bit fine."
"Firstly, no," Sunset replied. "When I was Princess Celestia's student I read every book I could get my hooves on. Sometimes that extended to tax law when I was really bored. Secondly, if you check your phone I think you'll see that I'm right." Sunset smirked and pulled the magical diary out of her backpack. "Go on. I'll wait."
"Look, Miss Shimmer, do not be ridiculous. If have not called an... I... uh... WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I'm kind of weirded out by it, too," Sunset admitted as she uncapped her pen. "I'm also kind of impressed. Did you use Starswirl's third aerodynamic laws of aneomorphisness to configure the flange meter in the phone?"
Dear Princess Twilight,
"I... erm... I don't... I don't think so. Uh... oh dear."
So funny story: I got a call from an ERS scammer today.
"Well, I hope so. Either that or you would have had to use Princess Celestia's ninth concerto blast mixed with an ionized catfoot rune or else the phone would have blown up in your face and probably taken out the entire house you were in."
He's kind of an idiot
"I don't... think I did any of that."
as I'm sure you already know.
Sunset sucked in air through her teeth and grimaced while the rest of her friends tried holding back their laughter. "Well, if that's the case, then you're really lucky to be alive. If you want my advice, I'd pour salt into the phone and give it a good washing. After that, there should be a book in the library about cleansing rituals. It's called Redhoof's Radical Guide for Radical Rituals and it should have the info you need about preventing your absolute destruction. Chapter six, I think."
So I thought up a plan.
"I'm not so... certain about all of this, Miss Shimmer. If, um... I haven't felt any negative effects yet. Maybe I'm in the clear."
Sunset shrugged, took Rainbow Dash's phone, and connected to the internet. "Hopefully. It's hard to say. If things did go wrong, the first thing you'll hear is a high pitched ringing sound coming from your phone..." Sunset pulled up a video of said high pitched ringing, played it, and held it up to the phone.
"YYYAAAAAAHHH! OH FUCK!"
*SLAM*
Sunset smirked to herself and closed the video. "Alright, I think that's that."
If a stallion comes into a library asking for 'Redhoof's Radical Guide to Radical Rituals', you have your scammer. Best of luck with that.
Sunset.
Amazing! And here I thought they'd catch her during a moment she was in Equestria, rather than across the dimensional barrier. Expertly done!
Brilliant! ... Though now I'm wondering if they can reproduce this happy accident. And what human-side phone companies would charge for interdimensional calling.
Maybe it's best to let it be.
Well, he's still quite resourceful if he managed to try and scam another dimension, gotta give him that
Eat jail time, Legit!
I want to see who the scammer is, but then the story will probably be over.
9268062
That bill would be horrifying - I seem to remember the Doctor (Who, not Whooves) commenting about the bill regarding a call across time, and that was within the same dimension
…..I......think I gave the author the idea for this chappy but im not so sure
You gotta give it to the guy, as much of an idiot he is, he's persistant.
9268081
A few people asked for something like this.
Good work Sunset. All that time as a Meddling Kid is paying off.
9268092
icy.....( I see)
Legit is not Flim or Flam. He is their cousin who keeps trying the same idea over and over hoping it works. Unlike Flim & Flam, who keep trying new ways of bilking ponies.
So I see this story is coming to an end.
I guess we are about to find out who this is now and if they are really in Ponyville. My money is now on Snips or Snails and Diamond Tiara is forcing them to do this.
9268102
*shrug* Meh. Maybe. Maybe not. I want to bring you guys as many good, funny chapters as I can.
Ha! Nice.
Well, this could be interesting.
9268102
Remember, he used a bad word with the CMC.
So no.
Also, do you think Diamond is smart enough to bounce calls.
I think we safely eliminate Discord as well.
well he could travel to different library it not like ponyville has only one in the world
Even as a human, Sunset is best pony.
Haha, nice. Sunset is best human. I wonder who gets called next? Is it Discord? Please tell me it's Discord.
9268137 I will like and fav this fic 10 no 1 bazillion times if the author does that.
Yeah, don't mess with Sunset, scammers.
9268137
It started when the phone rang.
Which was annoying because Legit Collector was trying to work.
I'm sorry I can't talk now
I'm sorry I can't talk now
...what the!?
...what the!?
......hello?....
......hello?....
Spike answer the phone!
###############**################*###########???
who was it?
That Scammer - I don't think my cards going to work
you didn't listen to him did you?
I just gave him some random numbers from the Equestrian Telephone and Telegraph Company
the ETT? he's really screwed now
This is getting weird. You think this guy would refine his methods after the millionth failed scam. He's acting more like a 1-D gag robot than a scammer.
The only reason he was allowed to almost get one with Blueblood was because Blueblood is considered an idiot by the fandom (when that was never one of his many problem).
The lesson here is don't scam the bacon pone.
9268076
Costs of calls is a limitation the writers didnt know about, and when they did, decided to keep it othrewise you can abuse it to do whatever you want. A good example is using a demonstrated trick where you set up quantum interference so that a distant object entering the detectors field of view, collapses the pattern. The detectors trigger is set in the patterns null, now absorbs the single photon used. Which doesnt get absorbed by the distant object. You can further tune the particle used so it can Only be absorbed by a very particular setup. That is then used at the far end.
Hawkings last work on black hole information paradox suggests an object called a Flat Torus works. It looks like a donut, but has the prooperties of a singularity, contains all the information, but has no mass, and forms the event horizon. The mass comes from the gravitational field.
The scammers phone signal was being spell bounced all over the place, the spell couldnt know that Twilights Dimentional mirror link etc wasnt a valid option because for bouncing it will try All possibiliites.
just be glad the spell didnt pick up the Angel Probe as a link bridge and call Cthuluu Pinkie.
9268291
I have memory problems. 'Memory erasure for the greater good' is a berserk button for me!!!
Easily my favorite chapter thus far.
Clever girl...
Whoops wonder if he's scamming the phone company too or if Legit Collector is going to get a phone bill from hell
"I owe WHAT?!?!"
9268062
I'm sure Twilight could figure it out on a slow afternoon if Sunset let her borrow the phone for a little while.
9268332
SMILE erases memories?
9268383
YES. http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Lyra_and_Bon_Bon_and_the_Mares_from_S.M.I.L.E.
Personally I’m hoping Tempest will burst through his wall like the coolaid man during one of these.
The scammer somehow managed to call a phone on entirely different planet, in an alternate universe...
...
HOW!?
9268075part of me says its the flim flam bros but phone scamming doesnt seem like their style
9268137
discord, flim flam bros, and bulk biceps... those are the ones I REALLY want to see
And of course Sunset is the one nailing the guy.
First off, you really have to explain how the hell he called an alternate dimension before busting him. You can't just drop a line like that and ignore it. Sure it could be operative on "Toon logic" but whatever. I like this chapter, it was funny. But, to call an alternate dimension is a major accomplishment for a scammer. Although Sunny could still have the same "phone line" as she did in Equestria and never updated her number... but still, dimensions might cause interference. Still, he should be congratulated for this at least if nothing else!
memegenerator.net/img/instances/65645057/alas-the-day-of-reckoning-is-upon-us.jpg
Still waiting for glim glam tho
9268520
I wish I had a theory on who it is, but I haven't the slightest idea.
9268092
now lets see the chaos a scam on discord will bring
9268628
Wordplay. Careful my friend.
Hmmm... okay, current working theory - the scammer is just some random pony and Discord (or someone similar) is messing with him by redirecting his calls to all the wrong (or right, depending on your point of view) people.
that was awesome i need more
9268526
I ABSOLUTLEY want to see the Flim-flam brothers.
9269502
Let the war of the scammers begin!
Do Prince Rutherford next.
"Who has honour of calling yak phone?!"