- Member Since 2nd May, 2014
- offline last seen Aug 14th, 2020
Mister Phoenix
Since the show over, I'm gone, no more stories from me
Mister Phoenix
Joined 2nd May, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- heart04winds · 7.3k words · 61 12 · 2.1k views
- Darth Severus · 3.2k words · 49 18 · 1.6k views
- Omega C · 6.2k words · 67 6 · 3.6k views
- Dragon-In-Black · 17k words · 94 17 · 2.2k views
- Dragonborne Fox · 6.8k words · 27 10 · 1.4k views
- LILDASHIEGRINGO · 1k words · 72 43 · 6.3k views
- Draco45 · 30k words · 58 10 · 1.9k views
- underrated Drake · 7.6k words · 47 13 · 1.3k views
Featured In57
Shipping 💖11,690 stories ·9,752 members
Clopfics11,578 stories ·15,826 members
Rainbow Dash7,272 stories ·4,149 members
Humanized Ponies!5,601 stories ·3,469 members
- Spike shipping832 stories ·833 members
Applejack2,130 stories ·1,769 members
Cutie Mark Crusaders4,491 stories ·1,749 members
Rarity3,859 stories ·2,003 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.107 seconds
Total duration
628 users online
777,089 hits today, 1,870,739 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This has potential but... plot wise, it needs more background. Also spacing between scenes and pacing. Its decent but it could be way better! IKeep going though!
I mean ... who wouldn’t want to bang adult Spike?
derpicdn.net/img/2018/11/21/1887267/large.png
9665022
Oh yeah baby.
9664931
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind during Scootaloo chapter
Two quick tips: You keep switching between past and present. You should pick one and run with that!
Secondly, writing conventions have a comma before the name when characters address one another. That helps avoid misunderstandings. Look at this example:
versus
A bit if a difference, isn't it?
Your writing isn't usually this... well bad. It's riddled with errors, whole words are missing or just replaced with others, and things seem to be happening with no actual indication of them happening. Annoy is used in place of ignore. the Apple girls are suddenly naked from clothed. Like AJ loses her top and not even her bra but then suddenly Spike can suck her nipples. You really need to go back over this, it feels like you rushed to get it out. You've done way better, so this is... disappointing honestly, because it had the opportunity to be really fun. We also don't need to be reminded constantly that Bloom is 18 or the leader.
You forgot to add "...While I play unfitting music."
9665022
*Sees a story from you. Sees the title*
I got nothing, not a damm thing.
Pretty sure you mean "ignore"
Ah'll ask him out as well.
This could end in one of three ways
one on each of his arms
I was asking you about how college and work at the farm were going
Those are just to that point.
So he'll bang the CMC and their respective sisters, then the CMC, then their sisters, and all 6 at once?
aw its canceled? I just started reading it.
9726129
Well, I tried to write Rainbow chapter. It blank at the moment. I have nothing for them, not even Rarity chapter
9726437
take your time you'll come up with something sometimes reading the first chapter of a story can help with the next one
9726437
Wings, Fire and Strength are the three main aspects of a dragon. The Apples are all about physical / 'Earthly' strength and beauty. Everything from the date, to the raw-and-rough yet sweet-and-sexy action, his red clawmark surrounding AJ's mark (loved that touch), reflected that.
Dash and Scoots can be all about flight, wing-play and the ultimate freedom of love, lust and the sky… Flying has always symbolized Life, Peace and Victory. Meanwhile, Rarity and Sweetie could symbolize "playing with fire." The seductive, transforming power of magic, romance and maturity… Maybe Rares keeps realizing, disbelieving, how much Spike's grown-up from a precious, adorable 'spark' in her life, to a beautiful inferno. One that's already embraced and 'consumed' her friends and their sisters… and she wants to burn with them. Even though she never thought Really push the magic, maybe use it to somehow show them getting fertilized, or 'transform' them all a bit, temporarily…
Are you ever going to finish this?
9826893
No.
9828785
Well that's disappointing.
Continue this.