When the Cake's go away for a weekend trip, leaving Pinkie home, Rarity steps in to offer her pink friend a place to stay for a few days so she won't be alone. With the two stuck under a roof together and Rarity slowly seeing a side of her friend she never knew existed, will romance blossom or will friendships crumble?
Now has a part two in the making, check out 'Weekdays are too short' in my stories to see the continuation.
Special thanks to HabitualHyperbole for editing the chapters.
Chapters (4)
A small, three part story I've had in mind for a while. My first and probably only shipping story I'll do. It is heavily inspired by party of one, trying to show a different side of the excitable pink mare everyone knows and loves. As a note while the first chapter is a bit sad the story does get happier in the next chapters.
Enjoying this so far. Keep up the good work!
Hmm, seems like a good enough idea. Favorited it to see what happens from here on out.
Good concept, adds some more dimensions to Pinkie Pie. But, I suggest looking for an editor or at least proof-reading your story more than once. There were simple mistakes, minor spelling errors, but the most glaring would be the mistake between "your" and "you're".
Tip: Reread each chapter aloud to catch the mistakes.
Also, I know you're going for creative language and all, but there is a time and place for that. In the beginning, for example, you continually referred Pinkie as "the pink mare" or "the pink pony" which is fine in moderation of course. But seeing that done consistently can get rather tiring.
Tip: When first introducing a new character, refer to the character in as a creative way as possible, however, after that alternate between creative methods and their name.
Otherwise, it feels like a rookie mistake.
This merits further viewing. Locked on and tracking.
I thought the part where Pinkie can re-inflate her mane with her hoof was pretty amusing.
This pairing is always nice to read, and it looks good so far.
very good so far keep up the good work!
I was really liking reading this chapter. internal struggles are always good for a read. Don't judge me. Lookin' forward to more.
Okay! I would just like to thank everypony who has read, favorited, commented, and thumbed up this chapter. In under twenty-four hours this story has managed to become my most popular story and frankly I am amazed, because when I wrote this I only expected like... maybe five favorites, three thumbs up? One comment if I was lucky? And that was over the span of a week. So thank you very much everypony who has taken the time to check this out and I'm really hoping you are all enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it.
1089164 I will be going back and rechecking the first chapter once I finish the second. Thanks for the constructive criticism. Sadly I currently have only one person editing my work for me, and that person is only doing one of my stories, the others I have to edit myself. I do intend to find a proof reader eventually ofcourse. But I just haven't had much time to look into it yet.
And one last thing. The next chapter is well on it's way and should be done in a few days. I'm doing a big chunk of it every day.
Missing spaces here. And then there's the already mentioned "your/you're"-errors.
Aside from that, it's pretty good so far. I might actually be willing to proofread for you... if you want dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png At any rate, I'll be tracking to see where it goes.
A wise decision.
I will be watching this story closely .
I don't know why but I love love LOVE rare ships like this one. Hope to see more of this
Raripie is one of my favorite ships, favoriting this story on that merit and a well written first chapter
Ciao
Okay the newest chapter is up, and as such there is only one more chapter to go, plus a short epilogue. Next chapter should be up in a few days depending on if I get writers block or not. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter as much as they did the last one. I've had a lot of fun writing this story and I think I might try my hands at writing a romance again down the line once I get some of my other, longer stories farther along. One of the key reasons I wrote RariPie was cause I heard it was so rare and I thought they would be kind of cute together. Are there any other rare couples ponies would like to see?
Oh boy, these two are like and unstoppable force and an immovable object. Maybe some progress can be made.
awww pinkie :(
</nods>
Truth or Dare
Love the story so far, but certain parts in it really annoy me.
First, there's the (by this point when it comes to Pinkie Pie) cliche evil voice in her head that acts like a character. Depression doesn't work like that. I think the problem is that you want to make sure we know what she's feeling, but instead of letting her sadness speak for itself, you just add the voice in the head trick.
Next, you have them acting in-character (which I love), except for a few places. For one, I found it slightly hard to believe that Pinkie (who has been cooking for a long time most likely) managed to slip on an egg shell of all things and destroy everything. That seems too clumsy even for her. Second, she's been to the spa before (the one with the newspaper, can't remember the name), so she probably wouldn't have done all that. Speaking of which, you're going way too far with having her act childish while ignoring the fact that she can be calm when she needs to be (again, the fact that she was at the spa, causing no problems, with none of them having an issue with her being there). Of course, considering that it is Pinkie, I can let that slide and deal with it.
What really bothered me was how harsh Rarity was. In fact, the entire thing was basically the episode with Sweetie Belle being replaced by Pinkie Pie. She even mentions it, which I can only guess was added for the people who by that point already figured it out. But the biggest issue I had with Rarity was that completely idiotic statement at the end about how she didn't even know Pinkie could actually get upset. Did she just lose all her intelligence right then? She's even seen her upset before, so how could she actually think that? Honestly, that was just completely out-of-character for her to say.
That aside, I do enjoy this story despite the few issues I have with it, and look forward to seeing how you end it.
Awww, this is sooo freaking cute I got diabetes from this.
Wow. That was awesome. I wish I had found this storu sooner. I love it. You do well with the whole Pinkie/Rarity thing, and it's awesome. There will be more, won't there? I really hope so. And that ending was...amazing.
Adorableness scale: ...wait a second. You broke it. Nice work!
Very nice. Last scene was great.
1105989 You're right, the last one was out of character for Rarity, and while it wasn't how I meant it to be, it did come across as rather silly of her to think. I have since edited it.
1123133 1123839 1123898 1124265 Thanks. I was honestly worried the most about this chapter, since I was afraid it was badly drawn out, happy to see people enjoyed it. There is still an epilogue to follow, but for the most part the story is done, now it's just wrapping everything up nice and tight. I might return to write a second part of the story eventually or at least mention some of its effects in upcoming shipping fics.
1124335 One more chapter! Yay! I just didn't want it to end right there as if it did it would have felt very...odd, I guess? Not exactly sure what the word I'm looking for is...
But you've done this very well. I'm not even a fan of Pinkie/Rarity, and I love it. Your pacing is good, and I love how you have the build up to the kiss ALL WEEKEND. So umm...no, it isn't badly drawn out. At all.
1124335 thank god an epilogue. I would've been mad if you ended it like this. Anyways, can't wait for the epilogue!!!
1124335
Epilogues make Rainbow Dash happy. See?
That's all thanks to you, pal.
That was a wonderful piece of a ship that doesn't get much love. Thank you for such a wonderful story. Rarity's last lines really capture true love, a caring love, that you don't see much of. Your story was refreshing and engaging
Thank you
And it is finished! I hope everyone enjoys reading it, I had a lot of fun writing it. Special thanks to HabitualHyperbole for editing the chapters so they are nice and pretty. Also, special thanks to Duelist925 for convincing me the story was good enough to post. Thanks to all my readers and I hope you find my future stories just as enjoyable.
Dat ending
I wanna see luna's response.
Great raripie story, I'll keep an eye whenever you get some new stories. Also, keep writing! A few grammar errors can't stop you from writing excellent stories.
A wonderful tale!
Well done!
A great ending! I loved it.
Tres magnifique. Nice end.
LOL Why am I not surprised at the ending? Though I more pictured Luna doing it x3
Also, you spell it eccentric.
That was a fantastic lil RariPie story with a huge amount of Dawwwwwwwwwww.
I did think though that you went a lil overboard with Pinkie, really we only see her do that totally once and that is at the Gala, well, go nuts in a place that isn't appropriate or wanting it. Plus I thought that Rarity's reaction to it actually wasn't angry enough considering how she was woken up with a gong and having stuff splatted on her face.
But I've got a weakness for Pinkie ships and Rarity is my favorite pony so keep up the great work.
Ok, thumbs up for the comedy, but the romance was background mostly. Cant get behind this romance, very little build up and when you have the issue actually confronted it was out of the way in a paragraph. Also no climax of the story, it really seems like a long rolling joke, and while funny the romance felt like filler.
Cast in the name of Pinkie, ye not guilty!
So silly and Rarity is a single nerve of romantic impulse.
I know this fic is like half a year old, but I still have to say this;
I laughed so hard at this line
SWEET JEZUZ...that was perfect in every way possible.
10/10
Now this was a well written story
I tip my imaginary top hat to you.
So... where is the surprise?
WOO!! I'M NUMBER 100!! XD
Holy... Ummm, well then. I actually thought it would take a few more days. But the fans have spoken! I will get started on the new chapter immediately so it should be up in a few days. Thanks for patience and the favorites. I really hope you all enjoy the newest story as much as this one.
Wonderful. I usually avoid Angsty Pinkie stories like the plague, but this one explored her anxieties quite well. It touched on the idea that Pinkie might actually be afraid of being unlikeable without making it sound like she's faking her cheerfulness for fear of being rejected otherwise.
But the real star here was Rarity. This is my favorite approach to Rarity. She's flawed and she's kind. It's amazing how much trouble so many writers seem to have understanding that a character can be both at once without being contradictory.
Good story! I dunno why this is suddenly in the featured box a year after it was finished, but I approve
Now, attempted constructive criticism: what 1660054 said. Throughout the story there isn't actually any sign that Pinkie has romantic feelings for Rarity whatsoever, and only a few small hints that Rarity feels like getting physical with, well, something or somepony but nothing specifically tying it to Pinkie... and then a declaration of love comes out of nowhere.
I don't claim to have any skill at writing romance myself, but that seemed a bit thin.
This is an awesome story. I think I shall watch you now.
A year has gone by and I'm still willing to re-read this story, for the eighth time. Congratulations on such a sweet story.