• Published 28th Jan 2020
  • 3,760 Views, 52 Comments

To Belong - Freglz



It ain't always easy, regaining what you lost. Especially when you've been missing it for years.

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A Part Made Whole

She was beautiful.

She always was, and still is, but on that midsummer’s afternoon, the sky blue and cloudless, flower petals drifting through the air around us like downy dove feathers caught in a breeze, in the shade of the family orchard… she was something else. Something flawless. Something beyond what mere words could describe. Perfect in every way.

It was at the grove of the intertwined apple and pear trees. I knew it had to be there the second either of us hinted at the vague interest of spending our lives together — it was where Ma and Pa made their vows, after all. And I’d been waiting for so long to see her there that I was on the brink of crying when the mayor started officiating. And what could I do but cry when Rainbow said her vows, and I said mine? What could anypony do?

Oaths were made, and so was the offer of a kiss, and when I took her up on it, there were cheers. But I could barely hear them. I checked with Rainbow afterwards and she said she could barely hear them either. It was like the whole world had melted away for those few precious moments and we were walking on clouds again, lying on a little, fluffy bed of white as the sun drifted by and noon turned to dusk.

The serenity passed, though, and when we broke from each other’s spell, what welcomed us was just as lovely; a large gathering of friends and family, all of them smiling and clapping, whistling in a few cases. Twilight was there, taking a break for her royal duties for the day to wish us well, and so was Pinkie, her husband, their kid, and Fluttershy and Discord, the latter of whom was in sniffles, and to whom Rarity generously loaned her handkerchief. He would’ve given it back if it hadn’t flown away afterwards.

There was also a large swathe of the extended Apple clan present, coming from every corner of Equestria, and even some from beyond. I was especially surprised to see a griffon or two bear the family name, but time had passed since I’d found myself thrust into this hero business, and love often finds us in interesting places. Just take a look at Rainbow and I.

As for me? I was just happy for the massive turnout.

Granny was there, naturally, along with Big Mac and Apple Bloom in the front row, but between them, separating the matriarch from the little ones, sat two far newer faces: Windy and Bow. Granny had her hoof over Windy’s, and Apple Bloom hugged Bow’s close to her heart. And all of them were beaming with such pride that you could’ve sworn they glowed.

And I was happy for it.

I was elated for it.

I was ready for it.

Family is who you choose, not just who you’re related to. I’d made my choice, and that didn’t mean I loved my old one any less, even the dearly departed, who I still regret not saying a proper farewell to.

But time marches on, and we can only march with it — that’s something tragedy has taught me. And as I marched down the aisle, Rainbow nuzzling against me and I against her, forelegs linked, it was as if I were gliding, soaring on wings that weren’t mine.

Everything would be alright, I reckoned.

The past was over, and I was keen to see what would happen next.

And for all the years that followed, I’ve never been disappointed.

Comments ( 13 )

Family is who you choose, not just who you’re related to.

That's a really good ending. Can I quote you in my bio for this line? That is something I believe everyone should take to heart.

A most heartfelt and well told story! I could really feel AJ's pain, her relief at coming to grips with the tragedy of her parents passing and her joy in finding love and life afterward.
Nicely done!

Wonderful expansion of what was already a heart-rending bit of art. Thank you for this.

10059900
I really don't see why not!

Very nice. :)

10061050

Really? This is the conflict you have? That Applejack is defensive of potentially having new parents? The mare who treats literally all her friends like family, preaches family and dedicates herself to a huge extended family can't handle in laws?

Extended family is different from someone trying to force their way into a role you don't feel comfortable with them having. I don't think it's hard to believe that AJ's reaction to Windy saying "And then you’ll have to call me Mom" is negative just because she's all about family. It's not the same thing.

It honestly would have been better to make them racist. At least that is more believable when they inevitably come to the "oh you make her happy" club and the story ends.

This is, frankly, kind of stupid. I think you're disappointed and used that to fuel this claim, because racist parents would have made no sense for the premises this story was based on. It's not about them joining a "you make her happy" club. I mean, you admitted yourself that you didn't read it, so why would you assume that plays a big role? Everyone knows that Rainbow and AJ are good for each other throughout the story. Also, them being racist would have been pointless for telling the story that was told. Your comment here reads similarly to saying "There should be Stormtroopers shooting at them so that it has more action." And it's honestly just kind of shitposty and needless.

"Hey we're your new parents now!"
"Hi I don't want to burst your enthusiasm but it's going to take me a very long time to call you that."
"Why not if you don't mind me asking?"

They are overly enthusiastic to a fault here. So no, Windy is not calmly asking why. She's insisting despite AJ's discomfort. I get that you're upset and being sarcastic, but writing a poorly characterized ending does you no favors when your complaint is about poor characterization.

And on that note, yes, I felt like AJ overreacted. Maybe it could use more buildup to justify it. I don't think it's nearly as egregious as you seem to, though, and I still liked the story for what it was.

10061226 The problem is Applejack's reaction, which we both have agreed is bad. However I completely disagree with you on AJ. AJ's reaction is very over the top, poorly written and shouldn't have been a plot point in the first place.

I am saying it completely ruined the story for me. I'm not sad, I'm disappointed.

Of course the racism part would have been from the beginning of the story. Come on man, context clues. Of course you wouldn't write them like you would this whole story, the characterization would be horrible like having none of your characters act like reasonable characters.

Of course my ending is written terribly, because this situation is. The only reason why this is because the author needed to have the plot move forward. That's the problem. There is no reason for the last part of this chapter to happen.

Don't comment "well of course it moves the plot along" when there could be MANY well-written and real alternatives. My belief of what the story led up to, that being Windy/Hot parents dead and being inserted into the dynamic, would have been WAY better than this. Less cliche than this, less boring than this, and is already set up.

I also read Freglz work a ton. I know they are better than this. It's lazy writing to push a story like this when there are many ways to go forward. This is the point where it killed it for me and unlike 99.9% of this site, I comment why I leave dislikes.

You may disagree, cool. Story stops here for me. It's done and I disliked it.

10061245

Of course the racism part would have been from the beginning of the story. Come on man, context clues.

I am legit confused about why you said this. Like, the thing you are proposing doesn't tell the same story with a different dynamic. It tells a different story. So, the suggestion is even more pointless than the Stormtroopers shooting at them one, because at least that could still tell the same story. The story was built on several premises where racist parents had nothing to do with it, and it'd serve no purpose for the plot. Like I said, I think you're just letting your emotions speak for you and you made a dumb suggestion just to be snarky. That's all. There's no need to defend it as a legitimate suggestion when it never was.

You may disagree, cool. Story stops here for me. It's done and I disliked it.

I mean, you don't have to like it, but it feels unfair to claim you know what happens next and then proceed to make incorrect assumptions about the direction the story took. Like, at least stick to what you actually did read for your criticism. Which you mostly did, but the exceptions stick out to me as salty screeching at problems that don't exist in this particular story.

AAAaaaaa. Freglz pls. The tension, the drama, the shipping. Aj's response was a bit jarring personally, but overall its a nice piece. Love a nice bit of Appledash. Gotta make sure the ship sails.

10063093
The Wingpon holding a quill supports the beetus that is this story.

ROBCakeran53
Moderator

This was so sweet. Good job.

That was absolutely gorgeous, you've done amazing, beautiful work here and I'm not ashamed of the tears in my eyes. Thank you, thank you for writing such a marvellous tale

Only criticism I have is that AJ's outburst seems heavily melodramatic. I know you clarified in a previous comment that you felt pressured by a deadline, but that doesn't remove the criticism. Still, an overall good story with really good characterization.

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