Glad that your back and I hope now permanently.

HiE? ...meh. Why not.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

I tend to read what I think is the main confession first seeing as how it wasn't there last time and the landlord was rarity I thought this to be a Human x Rarity now I can read this with no worries... also my real name is James so okay but try to get more out soon I don't want to read it with only a few chapters. must not read story yet Edit: okay maybe will read it now because of the amount of words per chapter

OH GOD MORE!

nice sweet story so far......was a little put off by James' shyness prolly due to the fact i don't give a flying buck what the general public thinks of me if i like me and my friends like me the rest can go fuck them selfs but i've actually come to like the person you made and eagerly await the following chapters

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now get outta here, blank flank. Or do I have to introduce your flanks to my boot?”

Oi, that really makes me want to punch the guy. Especially since he gets to tell Rainbow to cut the pranks.

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More than that: By using her 'blank-flankedness' to humiliate her, he's insulting all the other kids who don't have their Cutie Marks yet, too. (Not to mention that he shouldn't get to decide any 'punishments' for anypony, but that's another point entirely.)

As long as he keeps using 'blank-flank' as an insult, he's not not helping, because he's implying not having a Cutie Mark makes a pony less worth than others. Sure, not everybody can be as smart as Twilight in recognising things as she did at Diamond's Cute-ceneara, but I doubt he'll ever think about what he's doing unless somepony confronts him with that. So, that's one of the reasons I have the urge to smack him upside the head (or, more likely, politely ask him to have a talk about this)

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I know. However, he's still using it as an insult himself- as long as he does, things didn't really change, right? It's just someone else abusing somepony for being a 'blank-flank'.

It's surprising to me how nopony is pointing that out to him- or the fact that the joke is getting awfully cruel. Yes, she deserves comeuppance, but íf you push a little girl to physically attack you it might be a good idea to rethink what you've been doing. Well, the way it's now it feels a bit like a revenge fantasy.

Addendum: It feels that way to me which is,of course, a completely subjective view.

It was gone I got worried it came back Im happy

fluttershy James not bad good sir not bad but i was picking up on the vibe

"How about us trying painting or hula hoops?"

It's probably best to rephrase that as "How about we try painting or hula hoops?" Otherwise, it's just verbally awkward

Besides that little nuisance, I must congratulate you. It keeps itself interesting, even if things are a little easy to predict

it was nearly 12 PM. “Whoa… Time sure flies when wrapped up in a good book.” I muttered out loud
in real life dang i'm gonna have no time for sleep...Oh well more reading

When I got to the comments, i realized that I read the entire chapter smiling.
And for that - we thank you.

And going for the win... FLUTTERSHY!!!
leaving the others in the dust!

My Reaction: DAAAAAWWWWW

2635191 *Mine...* That was too fast... ... should have waited a while longer...I mean He's only been in Equestria for what? 5 days? The systems of Currency should have taken longer to adapt to as well, and It felt like the credit card thing wasn't visited upon enough, I hope the writer will touch up, upon that later, because this story right now, is rather boring. Well written, but boring. And by well written I mean fewer than 10 syntax/spelling errors per page.

*finish reading chapter* aaaand fluttershy takes the win....wait a second *remembers tragedy, sad, and dark tags*..........shit.......am I going to cry at some point?.........most likely........lets do this

Well, that escalated quickly. I was hoping he would end up just giving up on Fluttershy because he's an idiot and didn't realize that it was obviously he she was talking about, then go start something with Rarity and also Twilight ends up impulsively kissing him or something. Oh well. At least everyone dies in the end. I assume, from the tragedy tag.

2968006 it didn't really escalated quickly at all.... this is the sixth chapter and as it has 10,000 words to a chapter it actually escalated quite calmly and at the right speed

I called you ‘big brother’

Well there it is; he just adopted Scootaloo as a sister (albeit unofficially)

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now get outta here, blank flank. Or do I have to introduce your flanks to my boot?”

YO, WHAT THE FUCK!?

Hypocritical human is hypocritical...pranks fillies but doesn't like being pranked himself.

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So many cliches in this... You are right about the hypocrisy ( you know what I mean ) though.

3306511 Punishing bullies is not a prank.

“I guess it’s rabbit season. Or is it duck season?” I could not help muttering out loud.

...Does...does he not realize he's not on Earth anymore? Is that what's going on here? Because he keeps telling people how to do things, or that they're doing something wrong, and they are always clearly surprised by it.

3247780 What would you do to get a violent unreasonable child to back off?

3773641 can we get Daffy and Bugs arguing about what hunting season it is? Anyone?

3247780 Hey, I put my boot in this bigger boot so I could stomp ya!

3 2 1 daww, so sweet

I will complete the joke: 'Elmer Fudd Season'

If Mr. James and Rarity were to get married, he would be my uncle!

sister in law

3784928 toss em off a cliff.

Deities above, if the sex tag is used in this fic I will explode.

Cross my heart, hope to FLY

4863010 Nice Rugrats reference. Got a poodle to go with that?

*uses dsi camera*
*no motion blur or lighting issues*
10/10 best joke so far.

Seriously, though. I'm only on chapter five, but this story is just so bland. The protagonist's personality is inconsistant. He overreacts to small things but barely reacts to the hige changes around him.

Ponies using credit really threw me for a loop. I'm waiting for the bank to come down on his ass like "your card did not work in Equestria! You owe a thousand bits!"

I'll try a few more chapters, but the protagonist is just. So. Bland. Like a generic gary stu self insert without anything of substance actually happening,

Her generosity truly knows no bounds. “Well…thanks again, Rarity. I’ll try to not go overboard.” I replied with a uneasy grin.
“Oh, you don’t need to hold back.

...

I was careful to hide my disappointment as I thought over a response. “You have a crush on someone and are afraid to tell the guy in person? Well… Why not just write him a love letter?”
My suggestion seemed to surprise my friend since she stared blankly at me for a moment. “A love letter…? I’m surprised I didn’t think of that earlier…” She then smiled faintly and spoke softly with a very deep blush. “Tha… Thank you, James… That’s all I needed. See you later. I have a letter to write.”

40 Bits James is going to get a love letter soon.

EDIT:

The note read, “To my beloved James. I’m sorry for not telling you this in person, but I can at least express my true feelings to you with this scroll. I have never met anypony like you. Somepony who never judges or shuns others despite their flaws. Whenever I see your face, I feel as if I am standing on a cloud of butterflies. And when I hear your voice, I feel as if I just heard an angel sing. I wish I could tell you just how much I adore you, but words alone can’t describe it. It goes beyond just mere friendship. But please believe me when I say this. I love you, James. And I hope you will continue to remain in my life for the rest of our lives. With love, Fluttershy.”

CALLED IT, now who's gonna give me my bits

Although, he has been in equestria for 5 days and somepony is already in love?
lucky bastard.

4970167 It's not so bad though, I've seen worse stories, where the whole mane 6 fell for the protagonist in just 1-3 days, then formed a herd.

Those are the worst stories.

This here is still trying look climatic, although the author does something wrong with making it so bland. I believe from this chapter on there should be more action, everything has been calm and collected for too long, we readers are at a limit here, since we expect something to happen.

Another concern of mine is, I just hope he doesn't form a 'herd' with Rarity and Twilight in the mix. At least Twilight had already shown disappointment with the love letter, implying that such things as herds probably don't exist here.

Many authors abuse the idea of 'herding' in equestria, just to get all the mane 6 or at least half of them, under the same blanked with the protagonist, in no time at all.

I have nothing against the idea of 'herds' as a form of coupling in equestria. But if you put something like that in, you must give a believable course of events, that actually led to the conclusion of 3 characters ending up together in consent with each other.

I suspect, a lot of ponies would still be appalled to such an idea, or at least doubt it would work out, so they never consider it an option and should struggle when presented with the possibility of joining a herd.

If the story goes on and on as boring as it is now, I will have to skip a few chapters.

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Different topic, why oh why author did you overlook this:

“This is…just so poetic! And it’s in Fluttershy’s handwriting!

Handwriting? Really? When all the main species in equestria have hooves?
Nope!
This needs to be changed into something more fitting for ponies.

behold

=Excursion into pony lingo=:

Now here is the point, a lot of their words have horsepuns for no apparent reason in them:
Like "Somepony" replaces "Somebody" despite the fact that ponies have a 'body' too, therefore it's just a pun for comedy purpose. Same goes for the "one" equivalence. A pony is still ONE pony, so everyone or anyone could actually stand as is.

But in contrast to that, there are actually quite a few words that need to be modified because of obvious differences in the human/pony anatomy, or other aspects of our daily lives.

For example they don't have the word "hand wrestle" because they have hooves instead, so it must be "hoof wrestle" just like AJ said once to Rainbow Dash. The same goes for the term "Gentleman". While the term "Lady" is a genuine word in equestrian language, Rarity praises herself as one in the series, the word "Gentle man" implies the relevance to humans, but the male ponies in equestria are not humans, so they cannot be called "Men", they are stallions and as such they must be addressed accordingly. That's why Major Mare addresses the crowd with: "Ladies and Gentlecolts". Alternatively, "Gentlestallions" would also work, but "Gentlecolts" is shorter and rolls better from the tounge, plus it's the official term regarding the series.

Boys and girls, are still addressed as such in the series. Twilight uses "girls" to address her friends many times if Spike is not included, in case of him being included she uses "guys", while Spike also exclaims "Oh boy!" from time to time.
The pony terms "marefriend and coltfriend" are actually made up by the community of fans. A huge amount of writers use them, to refer either to girlfriend or boyfriend.

Both though, are not necessary in pony lingo, since the series has shown us otherwise.

Scootaloo even uses the word "girlfriend" in one of her verses for the "The Perfect Stallion" song.

His girlfriend sure thinks so!

Despite that fact, a lot of fans though find the words marefriend and coltfriend more appealing, or cute, that's why they are used more often.
We conclude, in the end it's not incorrect to use boy and girl to refer to young males and females, since they do so in the series, same goes for the couple terms.

Finally this leads us to another issue in pony lingo:
"Finding word combinations that fit their language and make sense"

Now we have the word "handwriting", which is similar to the issue with "gentleman", unfitting since they have hooves instead of hands.

But can we use "hoofwriting" instead of "handwriting"? The Answer would be... No.

Handwriting refers to the individual way one writes with his hand, and how their script looks.
Hoofwriting would include, that they use their hooves to write something on paper.

But unfortunately not one of the 3 pony races, use solely their hooves to write on paper.

Every episode of MLP:FiM has shown us a different way of how ponies usually write.

Most prominent are the pegasus's and earth pony's "Muzzlewriting", where they put their writing utensil in their mouth, and "Magicwriting", where unicorn uses their magic to levitate their writing utensil.

Now this leaves us with one major problem, that we don't have a unified primary writing method for all pony races
Which means they either just use "writing" in the series, or "Muzzlewriting" and "Magicwriting".

There are many other words that need to be translated into pony lingo when mentioned by ponies. So keep your eyes open, and if you stumble upon a word that needs to be changed, think thoroughly about possible combinations and look if they make sense in the end.
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I must say that I am one to run or bloody his problems. I only started reading for the "Mortal Chaos" chapter. I find it easy to laugh at this person being as I would have ran to the forest and stayed there. Clothes, two words Manticore hide. With that in mind anyone know of a good fic where they all hate the human for various reasons and he either goes with it or tries to make it better.

On another note so far so good. a bit fast though

5041765
and I want human x Nightmare Moon.

And the cute little ship set sails

THE DAWW CANNONS HAVE BEEN FIRED I REPEAT THE DAWW CANNONS HAVE BEEN FIRED!!!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I'm cold hearted, possibly a serial killer, I'm also paranoid about every little thing dealing with the U,S debt ceiling, a prepper, invest my paychecks in silver bullion, guns, ammo, and can find at least thirty ways to make a bright sunny day feel like hell.

This chapter melted my cold heart. Fluttershy was portrayed so adorably.

5134527 well this might not be what your looking for but try The Rise of Darth Vulcan.

YAY! HE FINALLY DID IT!HE TOGETHER WITH HER!!!! YAHAHAHAHAHAHAY!!!

I officially call bullshit here. A bland, borderline obvious Gary Stu protagonist, terrible pacing (around five days in Equestria and he's already got one, if not two or three, possibly four members of the main six trying to get some from him), moderately large plot holes (how would a credit card from Earth work in Equestria? If they even actually have credit cards, they're almost guaranteed to function with use of magic. And why the actual fuck, even if you're the embodiment of generosity, would you meet a person of a completely different species that's never been seen in your world before, and immediately offer to let them live in your house/business after knowing them for around eight or ten hours?), and clichés galore. I'm going to try to keep reading this, but if it gets much worse, I'm abandoning this thinly-veiled trainwreck of a story. Sorry for being overly blunt, but I've seen too much shit like this lately.

Sorry, but he's just to hypocritical. Normally, I'd be fine with that. Main character is an ass; awesome, all the more relatable. In this case however nobody(nopony) even acknowledges the possibility that he's being a bit of an ass. I'm not asking for a personality change or for everyone(everypony) to think he's an ass, I'm just saying a questioning thought here(Ex. Maybe stepping on a filly that doesn't even come up to my knees is a bit excessive...) or a realization there(Ex. Did I just make fun of her for being a blank flank? That's exactly why I thought she was horrable!) could go a long way in this story. Seriously, did everyone(everypony) forget the "lead by example" rule? Half the shit he pulls would get me yelled at if I tried it on my younger siblings! The fact that all the other character instantly agree with anything he says is a little off putting as well.

Unless someone can Guarantee that these issues are fixed in the next four chapters, I'm out. Sorry.

4757748 bad news...