River the zebra took pride in her work as an agent of Customs and Immigration in Jubilation, the largest port of the Free Zebrica Republic. She didn't mind the paperwork, and quite enjoyed the company of her coworkers (even though one was a bit flirty, especially for a widower nearly a decade younger than her).
What changes might come when an unscheduled group of refugees arrive, seeking safety and a new home?
This is a Rekindled Embers side story. No prior knowledge of the main story is necessary to enjoy this one. However, if you wish a brief summary: It has been a thousand years since alicorns vanished from Equestria, which is now ruled by a bigoted, tyrannical theocracy.
Written as part of a speedwrite event for my friend Nailah, held on her Discord server.
Pre-reading and Editing thanks to several different writers, including Holtinater, Stinium Ruide, Nailah, Queen Chrysalis Forever, Atom Smash, and Nano Discussions.
I don't like it, I'm not going to dislike
It just lacks substance
Very short
Hmm... Maybe I should write a Holy Book™.
It can't be any worse than the Diarchy's.
I really liked this. It adds a lot of substance to the world you've created in Rekindled Embers, which is just an amazing story. I'm eagerly following that story along, and it's nice to see a unicorn managing to escape the Diarchy. We get a good introduction to River's character her and get a sense of her.
I think there's a lot of tension in this story because of the urgency of the refugees, but sometimes it felt as if that tension was undeserved - nothing bad was going to happen if they didn't process them quickly. I think maybe Steel should have only asked her out at the end, as that might have channeled that wonderful tension and drama into the question of "what's she going to say". I know that's when she agrees to go out with him, but that drama was slightly lessened by her not saying no previously.
I really like your writing and this whole setting, it's so well done. I really enjoyed reading it and I hope you write a lot more like it!
Loved it! It fleshed out your world some more and made it even more interesting. Loved the fact also that the zebras and the crystal empire have become havens for ponies escaping the diarchy.
Now I am kinda of wondering how these refugees are received in their new homelands. Are there anti immigrant groups? Are they able to achieve success and social mobility? So many questions!
10507549
no place is 100% safe from hate.
Have review!
Oh goddamnit.
You did this on purpose.
I do think that this could have used more words on account of the refugee stuff. Even if it was just an author's note or short epilogue that takes place weeks or months after this chapter.
Aside from that, this was a pretty standard sweet fluffy slice of life story.