Decent writer who enjoys crossovers and is new to the MLP fandom. Bigger fan of the fandom than the show.
Inspired by A Crafters Dream, by ruthim345. I suggest you read that first. It’s much better.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/426991/a-crafters-dream-discontinued
Steve, the last Crafter, gets transported to Equestria. Little does he know, the biggest threat to both ponies and Crafters is coming. Now Steve must protect Equestria. It’s a bit challenging with a world that constantly wants to mess with you.
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Hey guys leave any CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms here please. Try and enjoy the story!
I was just thinking of a Minecraft crossover. I leave constructive comments later!
10658902
Okay constructive criticism. You written the fight scene very well. That said I would like to see more details in the story. What did the skeletons look like? Were they blocky or more like what we would see in MLP?
Did the leave glowing experience orbs or floating bones and arrows?
Where did the fight take place? On the apple orchard or in the Everfree?
Those are questions that came to my mind.
I also spotted a few spelling errors. Try downloading Grammarly they have a free version that spots basic mistakes.
10659346
Very good points I will keep that in mind! Thank you for not being rude about the criticisms.
10659346
Also, to answer your question, Steve (and the mobs) are what you would see in MLP. Steve is supposed to look like a human. I forgot to say that here, so I’m gonna say that later.
10659958
One minor thing how did Steve sleep? With my game I can’t sleep with mobs near.
I would perhaps have the fight near a Neither Portal and it explodes. Maybe a creeper.
10659977
It said he was safe in his house. He was running from the skeletons and made it home and then went to sleep.
10660290
Like I said it was minor. Still think a Nether portal going boom would be a more interesting means of getting to Equestria. This is more nit picking than criticism.
10660401
It wasn’t his sleep that caused him to be transported. It’s a mystery for now.
Not to be offended, but you throw him in pretty overpowered. A bit less might have been better, because this sounds like it came straight out of a creative inventory.
Like the story so far. Keep it up!
Should be interesting to see where it will go.
I will keep an eye on the updates.
As for the criticism: The mane 6 became friends after Nightmare Moon. You need to explain the timeline. I saw the alt. universe tag, so i guess it has something to do with it, but explanation would be nice.
PS: What is the height difference between Steve and the ponies?
10665358
Firstly, thanks! Secondly, the timeline should be the same as the real mlp after that. Lastly, Steve is much taller than most ponies, however, he is the same height as Celestia, but a little shorter if you count the horn.
10665339
I mean if you played Minecraft for years than you’d be OP. I think it’s incredible he hasn’t found Netherite yet.
10667805
Still, diamonds is mitt-endgame, but when you count in Netherite...
Yes, you got a point there.
Underrated. Epic Quality. More chapter pls.
10668869
Thanks! I’m working on the next chapter.
Review:
First encounter. That is one of the titles everyone uses (even me), but in this case the first encounter is not the first encounter.
The beginning is a bit confusing, you should tell the reader about him using a potion of invisibility, especially for those that don’t know about the item because of they’re lacking knowledge of the game.
The fights where decent, but can be improved (they can always be improved so that doesn’t mean that much. :P)
The idea with the ravine was great and the waterbucked trick a good addition.
Lastly a question: How those water work? How much is Minecraft and how much Equestria?
10670042
I tried to fix it as much as possible. If you have any ideas for the chapter name that would be great. This is only temporary until I, or someone else, can come up with a better one.
Also, the way it works is everything, except for any sentient beings, has equestrian physics until Steve interacts with it. Like if he chops a tree, it would fall, but once he picks up the logs they have Minecraft physics. I’m going to make him explain later.
Also the way he places water is he’ll throw it like how you would with a bucket, but:
1. Instead of scattering everywhere, it flows in neat lines for nine blocks like in Minecraft.
2. He has to be within five blocks (5 meters) to use it.
10670083
Thanks, i remember it for future chapters.
Ideas for chapter names:
First battle//confrontation//the chase//one vs all
I think that should be enough for now.
10670433
Thanks for the ideas!
So Luna decided to play Freddy Krueger.
Can she even do that?
10686274
To be honest I have no idea what this reference is.
10686344
Horror movie of a guy who killed people in they’re dreams, causing them do die in the real world.
Would the same happen if Luna...
10686346
Something that wasn’t said:
Luna was not trying to kill Steve but trying to get him to reveal his home so the guard could hunt him down, easier. It wasn’t said in the story so I’m pointing that out now.
10686379
Oh, that explains some things...
I think you mean hooves?
Hey, i got the same upload schedule.
10705294
Damn. Stupid autocorrect. If you see an error like that please tell me.
10705294
I also added something else I forgot to add.
10705558
Can relate
10705559
What dit you add?
10705562
Him calling Gilda a mutated chicken. I was gonna put that and forgot, but I just wanted to put that in.
Hey this is good keep it up
10705868
Thanks, I will.
When dit you make that cover? (It’s nice.)
10726188
I made it some time ago. It was just a little something I’d wanted to do.
10727408
I like it. 👍
10727568
Thanks! I’m glad you like it.
The monster always spare the children. (Monster, not bad guy.)
10727621
Tbh, I think even bad guys spare the children.
10727686
True. (Most of the time.)
So... For some reason, i never got notified about this story getting updated.
It updated on the 14th of March.
At the time of this comment, it is the 19th.
That aside, it was a good chapter.
10730183
Really? Strange. But thanks!
Steve could fix Derpy roof but it would be a block shaped and stick out like a sore thumb and the image would be cursed for pony
10752799
Which is probably why he didn’t. That would make it obvious he was there.
10730183
Just in case you didn’t get notified, I posted a new chapter. Hopefully this show up in your notifications.
Saw that coming. (Cover spoiler.)
10753778
Yeah. It’s also one of the tags. But you don’t know what’s gonna happen. How will Derpy stand with Steve (just friends or lovers or maybe become enemies)? What’s relevance to the plot? How good are her muffins?
10753863
I can only answer the last question.
10753495
I already read it.
10754005
Good!