Okay, I like this story.

I hope you not making the EQ-verse villain counterpart as the bad guy.

Still have some bad attributes but deep inside is still a good guy.

This is going to be interesting.

Welp, that Short Fuse is now in hell now.

As much as English grammar is a confused mess, the past tense of "drag" is actually "dragged". Drug is something else entirely.
Speaking of confused mess, I'm still trying to process what kinda mood you were trying to achieve. Like, we have Luna and her accident which goes from serious to nearly ridiculous with how many bad things happened to her, then we have bit parts played by South Park characters, Celestia's whole Jesus shtick... Also, for how much she supposedly cares about Sunset, she treats her bullies with surprising leniency even though they almost murdered her and Wallflower. Cue Short Fuse deciding that it's time for round two. Now with 100% more gun. All this followed by what will likely be relevant in the future, but so far seems like random cameos.
All in all, it seems like hurt & comfort fic with too much edginess to really take it seriously (though judging from the a/n you're aware of that), not to mention whatever author's/character's filibuster is going on with Celestia. Guess it has its fans, but I don't think it's a fic for me.

It was pretty good before looking forward to the next chapter

Sunset Shimmer gets crippled story

I've never heard of any of those stories. Can I please get some recs?

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I agree, OCs are better suited for dark My Little Pony stories. Please respond to this comment.

11173557
OC is fine. Just show all greyness of each character. Not everyone is born evil. Even Short Fuse with his troubled home life and his snapping.

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Thank you for reading and commenting.

Holy shit… This is pretty good so far. But holy shit…

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Featherfall

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Thank you.

11173543
Both are correct.

https://newsroom.unl.edu/announce/snr/4031/22946?utm_campaign=wdn_social&utm_medium=share_this&utm_source=wdn_twitter#:~:text=%22Dragged%22%20and%20%22drug%22,Drag%22%20becomes%20%22dragged.%22

I guess the wheels really came off Sunset's evil plan.

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School shooting? Brings back fond memories of a fic I wrote...
Also, this could've either been edgier or less edgy because right now it's kinda between dead serious and ridiculous in its ultra-violence, horrorshow, and Celestia being a step away from going full Boondock Saints.

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She won't take this sitting down.

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I'd like to read it.

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[Adult story embed hidden]

Have fun.

This neighborhood used to be a nice place ten years ago, not upscale, mostly people working in middle-class jobs that had carved out their slice of the pie, then the banks had started given out bad-faith loans to people who they knew couldn't repay. Almost like clockwork, the people couldn't repay their loans and defaulted, resulting in their homes getting repossessed.

Ahh, but that's hardly the whole story is it? The government under Bill Clinton and George W Bush, attempted to get people into homes by (among other things) using the law to force, or incintivise banks to offer home loans to people with lower credit scores, and with lower requirements for down payments.

https://clintonwhitehouse4.archives.gov/WH/Accomplishments/housing_accomps.html

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1877351_1877350_1877322,00.html

https://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/infocus/achievement/chap7.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2016/05/28/are-the-clintons-the-real-housing-crash-villains.html

Also why couldn't they have used the vets to communicate the situation to Sunset in the first place, as opposed to terrorizing her in her own home?

Good start

This is an interesting start to a story. Can't wait to see what happens next.

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Boo. BOO.

Sunset Drifter.

Hmm. I'll second what some others have said in regards to the story's tone being confusing. Especially towards the end with the actual shooting, the tone gets so dark so suddenly that it's a little hard to take it seriously.

The religion angle is interesting, and in and of itself it can be some good worldbuilding, but I feel like you're going a little too heavy on it.

That said, the idea of Sunset basically being a horse squeezed into a human shape instead of turning fully human is interesting, that's something I did quite like.

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honestly, my only real complaint is the pacing.

the only other "complaint" i have, otherwise, is a nitpick at religion getting involved.

overall, though, very interesting.

Interesting so far. Can't wait to see where this goes

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I guess that from this day on, Sunset just can't stand bullying.

Very nice.

well. i will come back after it got passed 5-6 chapters.

got too many heartbroken with early hiatus.

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I think you should read up about the things you use in your story. bullet wound are neither gaping nor painfull. Bullets make reather clean holes other then shotgun pellets, and if you get shot it feels like a slap and even if you see the wound and blood the shock and adrenalin will suppress the pain for quite some time.

"That's the problem. Sunset Shimmer isn't a thirty-year old horse, she's a fifteen year-old human girl."

I've been waiting for something like this to happen in a fic for a wile

Interesting. Looking forward to reading more.

glad to see Cartman passed away lol(yes, I did catch those little nods to South Park and Simpsons lol)

i loved the story and was wondering if it was on hiatus

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No, I'm just working on another story and haven't gotten back to this one yet.