- Member Since 6th Feb, 2020
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
sykko
I like violence, heavy metal and talking multicolored ponies
sykko
Joined 6th Feb, 2020 ·
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Okay, I like this story.
I hope you not making the EQ-verse villain counterpart as the bad guy.
Still have some bad attributes but deep inside is still a good guy.
This is going to be interesting.
Welp, that Short Fuse is now in hell now.
As much as English grammar is a confused mess, the past tense of "drag" is actually "dragged". Drug is something else entirely.
Speaking of confused mess, I'm still trying to process what kinda mood you were trying to achieve. Like, we have Luna and her accident which goes from serious to nearly ridiculous with how many bad things happened to her, then we have bit parts played by South Park characters, Celestia's whole Jesus shtick... Also, for how much she supposedly cares about Sunset, she treats her bullies with surprising leniency even though they almost murdered her and Wallflower. Cue Short Fuse deciding that it's time for round two. Now with 100% more gun. All this followed by what will likely be relevant in the future, but so far seems like random cameos.
All in all, it seems like hurt & comfort fic with too much edginess to really take it seriously (though judging from the a/n you're aware of that), not to mention whatever author's/character's filibuster is going on with Celestia. Guess it has its fans, but I don't think it's a fic for me.
It was pretty good before looking forward to the next chapter
I've never heard of any of those stories. Can I please get some recs?
11173504
I agree, OCs are better suited for dark My Little Pony stories. Please respond to this comment.
11173557
OC is fine. Just show all greyness of each character. Not everyone is born evil. Even Short Fuse with his troubled home life and his snapping.
11173543
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Holy shit… This is pretty good so far. But holy shit…
11173554
Featherfall
11173607
Thank you.
11173543
Both are correct.
https://newsroom.unl.edu/announce/snr/4031/22946?utm_campaign=wdn_social&utm_medium=share_this&utm_source=wdn_twitter#:~:text=%22Dragged%22%20and%20%22drug%22,Drag%22%20becomes%20%22dragged.%22
I guess the wheels really came off Sunset's evil plan.
11173927
School shooting? Brings back fond memories of a fic I wrote...
Also, this could've either been edgier or less edgy because right now it's kinda between dead serious and ridiculous in its ultra-violence, horrorshow, and Celestia being a step away from going full Boondock Saints.
11173953
She won't take this sitting down.
11173977
11173975
I'd like to read it.
11174019
[Adult story embed hidden]
Have fun.
Ahh, but that's hardly the whole story is it? The government under Bill Clinton and George W Bush, attempted to get people into homes by (among other things) using the law to force, or incintivise banks to offer home loans to people with lower credit scores, and with lower requirements for down payments.
https://clintonwhitehouse4.archives.gov/WH/Accomplishments/housing_accomps.html
http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1877351_1877350_1877322,00.html
https://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/infocus/achievement/chap7.html
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2016/05/28/are-the-clintons-the-real-housing-crash-villains.html
Also why couldn't they have used the vets to communicate the situation to Sunset in the first place, as opposed to terrorizing her in her own home?
Good start
This is an interesting start to a story. Can't wait to see what happens next.
11173927
Boo. BOO.
Sunset Drifter.
Hmm. I'll second what some others have said in regards to the story's tone being confusing. Especially towards the end with the actual shooting, the tone gets so dark so suddenly that it's a little hard to take it seriously.
The religion angle is interesting, and in and of itself it can be some good worldbuilding, but I feel like you're going a little too heavy on it.
That said, the idea of Sunset basically being a horse squeezed into a human shape instead of turning fully human is interesting, that's something I did quite like.
11173927
11173977
honestly, my only real complaint is the pacing.
the only other "complaint" i have, otherwise, is a nitpick at religion getting involved.
overall, though, very interesting.
Interesting so far. Can't wait to see where this goes
11175435
11173977
I guess that from this day on, Sunset just can't stand bullying.
Very nice.
well. i will come back after it got passed 5-6 chapters.
got too many heartbroken with early hiatus.
11175591
I think you should read up about the things you use in your story. bullet wound are neither gaping nor painfull. Bullets make reather clean holes other then shotgun pellets, and if you get shot it feels like a slap and even if you see the wound and blood the shock and adrenalin will suppress the pain for quite some time.
I've been waiting for something like this to happen in a fic for a wile
Interesting. Looking forward to reading more.
Nice update, cant wait for more!
Specter is from the James Bond series
I know there’s a super-intelligent monkey named Specter from the Ape Escape video game series
Hail Hydra!
Great story so far, hopefully Lightning won't do anything stupid.
11228951
Spector was the evil organization from the Jaimes Bond movies
11229093
11228913
Have an invisible cookie, both of you!
11229093 Ah, gotcha
Did you get Cozy Glows code name from Batman by any chance?
I wonder how bad anon-a-miss will be if Cozy Glow gets involved lol
11229198
Yes, I lifted Cozy's code name from the Batman the animated series episode.
Aww! While I adore Momlestia stories where Celestia is Sunset's mom (either princess or principal), I do like Luna being Sunset's mom.
I have a feeling that this story tries to be too many things at once. I mean, it's a drama/tragedy fic about Sunset getting shot. Then it's a slice of life fic about Sunset adjusting to her new life. It's a hurt/comfort fic. And then, suddenly we get secret agents and Cozy Glow which seems like something definitely out of place. Followed by some hospital shenanigans I kinda cringed at, given that it basically boils down to "Sunset's been shot, almost died, may never walk again, a fellow student committed suicide in front of her. Let's laugh at her ass and then double down on ass jokes". At least then the plot moves forward, as before, in several directions, some of them very unlikely. At least the prose is rather competent, though there are some awkward moments:
This sentence repeats "shouted" from the previous paragraph, is very telly, oddly phrased, and I'm pretty sure "mostly" is kinda misplaced in it, if not unnecessary.
Did... Did you make a Spy Kids reference?
This is beginning to fall firmly into the category of fics "Goes way too hard on the applejack accent to the point of being distracting and sometimes indecipherable"
11229998
Yes I did.