Canterlot Castle's Royal Guards haven't had the best track record when it came to doing their jobs as Canterlot's defenders. This hasn't gone unnoticed by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
When the sisters pondered the reason for their guards' ineffectiveness, Luna concluded that Celestia's motherly nature toward her guards – as well as all her ponies – had prevented her from ensuring they received the proper training. Therefore Luna volunteered to personally turn the guards into buff, mean, fighting machines.
That is, if the guards could survive what the Princess of the Night had in store for them.
Chapters (4)
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Technical Sergeant Jim Moore... the man that 'Gunny' learned from...
Back in 2010 or thereabouts I went to a week long "mini boot camp" with my NJROTC unit and several other area schools. The first couple days were not easy, but I am proud to say that I made it through, possibly stronger than I was before HS. I thought of joining the Navy out of HS but medical conditions made that impossible and now I'm past the age that is desirable for recruitment.
Celestia means well, but I can definitely see her being too generous with the mares and stallions of the corps. I just hope that Luna doesn't swing too far the other direction, going full on SEAL training.
Is it a beret? I kinda hope it's a beret. Luna making Equestria's Green Berets would be funny.
I'm looking forward to seeing Luna unleash her inner DI, though I couldn't help but think of Full Metal Jacket while reading this.
"I am Gunnery Sergeant Luna, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be 'Ma'am.' Do you maggots understand that?"
"Ma'am, yes Ma'am."
"Horsefeathers, I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!"
"MA'AM, YES MA'AM!"
"If you fillies leave my castle, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Equestria. You are not even ponies. You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian manure! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on earth ponies, unicorns or pegasi. Here you are all equally worthless. And my motive is to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Guard. Do you maggots understand that?"
I’m seeing a Battery Sergeant Major Williams coming up here. A more WW2 style of Sergeanting, with extra curly moustaches.
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one wonders if this will go either horribly wrong or horribly right heh heh
We could use Luna in Ukraine.
This story has the same cover as Better Go Catch It.
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Nope
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That could be suitable if Luna decided to give them combat drills when they try to fight her
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Nigh indeed.
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Not too inaccurate a preview of what's coming.
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I don't know if I would have been able to handle even a mini boot camp in high school. I might have been too sensitive for something like that back then. But good for you for doing it and coming out stronger, even if you couldn't try for the Navy.
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I used "hat" in the narration, but now that you bought it up, the hat I pictured in my head Luna wearing is more of a beret. It's something that's more up to a reader's interpretation since I didn't go into detail about the specifics, so if you want it to be a beret, picture it as a beret!
Although now I have an image of Luna opening up a business when she sells hats...
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Glad to hear it, and I'm planning to have it out in around 5 or 6 days or so. I planned to give it out a little sooner, but let's just say some complications came along that will delay the chapter a little.
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That's pretty good. Luna would probably be a little nicer when she gives her version of that speech, although "little" is the operative word since she's going to be pretty hard
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Rarity: why looks can be deceiving. She could enjoy a fine cup of tea, stop to kick someone's ass that had it coming, then go back to enjoying her tea as if nothing happened.
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It could go either way at this point.
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She could be quite useful over there to say the least, if not as a DI then as a solder.
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It does. I had it picked out for this story before that story came out -- which I'm planning to read -- and I even considered changing it once I saw that story come out, but it was just too fitting
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Oh, epic!
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Had I ONLY known 
TBH I originally joined the NJROTC in 9th grade because it looked like a way to get out of taking gym
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Like every other veteran throughout history, I still have nightmares about my Drill Sergeant...
... and for me Basic was over twenty years ago!
A Sam Brown is the issue for a DI cover (Look to Smoky the Bear)
Beret were for Special Forces or foreign countries
Or "Wild Geese"
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First day of the "mini boot camp"
DS comes on the bus: Welcome to Camp, Hope you have fun, learn stuff, yada yada NOW YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES TO GET YOUR GEAR AND FALL IN MOVE MOVE MOVE!!
Standing in line to get our camelbacks: stalking up and down the line telling people that this isn't going to be some namby pamby day camp and if we don't think we can cut it the bus is back there
Later on there was some nasty weather and we had to do the Thunder Crouch in our uniforms.
Several days later one of our cabin mates left the canteen early and left his tray behind, front lean and rest while he finished his toast
As the days progressed the DS's gradually lightened up a little bit climaxing with a pool party and stuff.
Why do I think Luna will not be much better? Still let’s see how she does.
Luna the next day, probably:
Did your parents have any children that lived?
: Ma’am yes ma’am!
Luna: I bet they regret that! You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece
Reminds me of being in NJROTC in high school. During dismissal; both male and female senior commanders (CO & XO) gave orders to 'Fall Out (dismissal)' and there was a "yes s'ma'am". Even the instructors were unsure of who said that.
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I see. Safe to say that plan backfired
Gym was one of my favorite classes, so even if I had more toughness, I wouldn't have ever dreamed of trying to get out of Gym that way. Although if it could have gotten out of History classes...
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So that and other Drill Sergeants can sure leave a lasting impact huh?
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We will see indeed.
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There were some good things, but I do kind of wish I had taken a few more theater/arts/shop classes.
Teasingly might be a better term for when Luna enters.
Also I’d say best drill sergeant is R Lee Ermey. Guy was a drill sergeant brought in for technical advice in Full Metal Jacket. He ended up playing the role he was meant to advise and was nominated for a golden globe.
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It would. Thanks for pointing that out.
It's safe to say R Lee Ermey overachieved what he was initially brought in for.
The training:
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Source.
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If that was the training, nopony tell Luna!
They're doomed. Also, I couldn't help but imagine the Make a Man out of You song from Mulan
Barracks not bedrooms
What are you doing here Guard?
Pony Training Sir!
Where's your Drill Sergeant?
Blowed up Sir!
I need some ponies for a special project,,,
Chow Hall not dining area
Uh oh
Ah, the joys of boot (USMC, Paradise) ...
As for the Sargeant, team up to 'tag' her, who knows, someone just might be able to ...
so the final exam is fighting a GOD... seems simple enough
I imagine many would dream of getting a chance to take out their frustrations on their drill sergeant. Shame for this lot that even in their dreams that’s likely to end badly.
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While reading this had wondered whether Luna ran her drill and training ideas past medical professionals heh heh
Not sure why you didn't just write 'maggot', it just detracts from the intimidation factor.
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Yeah, that song Is kind of fitting.
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That song works too
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Do we even want to know what that "special project" is?
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"Uh oh" is putting it lightly
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Maybe...
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It might be simpler than those guards are going to think. Or maybe not.
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It's even possible Luna was taking that into account, if not even counting on it.
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It was something I considered, but I felt it was a little too easy a choice for this story, so I wanted to take a shot by going against the grain and have Luna say something a little different. I also wanted to try to have Luna sound more like a Equestrian drill sergeant, and having her say "maggot" felt a little more like what a human drill sergeant would say instead of a pony one. At least that was the angle I was trying to go with.
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Dracony hybrid super troopers? Spike!
Sounds dangerous
Only for Dragon Boy here!
Oh gosh
Oh no
Oh yes... Darling
Wut?!
Royal Guard: "Hold on! I thought that was all we had to do as guards..."
This pegasus won't get popular among the other guards if he keeps this up for much longer...
Let me guess: some of them consider the latter example as the bigger motivation?
Luna: *smirks* "I know. In fact, I literally guarantee it..."
At this point I'm not sure whether I should hope he will learn to shut up or hope he will continue like this.
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
And now I look forwards to see how they manage to beat their final opponent.
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I wouldn't be surprised if some of them thought the job would be all they would have to do. In way, it is, but it doesn't mean as much if you can't fight should villain(s) decide to break into the castle or something
At this point, if he ended up getting knocked halfway across Equestria by the guards' "final opponent", that opponent might actually get cheers from the rest from the other guards
Glad you're enjoy it so far! BTW, you didn't know it, but you just helped me catch a mistake I missed when you quote this paragraph:
I missed that one; it was supposed to be "blue".
That is true, but aren't Celestia and Luna being huge hypocrites in this story? It isn't like they're shining examples of competency either...
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Chapter 1 gave some explanation as to why it's not as hypocritical as it might sound.
Besides, as much crap as Celestia and Luna might get from the fandom, even from me a little in the past, they do a better job at their duties than they sometimes get credit for. Luna has never shown to be at all inefficient when dealing with ponies' nightmares, and Celestia has honestly done a pretty good job running Equestria as far as being a princess, given how smoothly Equestria seem to overall operate in general.
I take it Celestia is going to declare Luna the Permanent Latrine Orderly (PLO) when she hears about the flanks remark.
And she didn't fall for it?
........ she's good 
Why do I think that the Mane 6 would have had an easier time?
I’ve always preferred the variation where you look in flabbergasted horror at something to get them to look.
Guards: "To be fair, if you were Nightmare Moon we would employ a different tactic right now."
Luna: "Oh? And what would that tactic be?"
Guards: "Running away and hide behind Celestia's legs."
(Not sure if waw is a typo or intended.)
Seems like some guy is learning.
It's progress. Slow, yes. But progress.
Try that again, but next time have someone actually attack her from behind!
(Not that it would ever work, but try nonetheless.)
Like this?
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Source.
Maybe Luna should have invested in some armor of her own.
It worked well to protect the guards, after all, and she must have known this would happen sooner or later.
As a side effect it would also look cool!
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Source.
Or what would you imagine might her armor look like?
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.