Becoming Strong
That doctor’s brochures actually had a few funny jokes and short comics!
Like the evil villain that Twilight and everypony else in Ponyville thought I was, I schemed, used my enemy’s intelligence, kept making progress to achieve my goals, and made sure that nothing and nopony could stop me!
Seriously, why did I have to have Pinkie’s appetite but not her metabolism?
It took a few months of keeping to my routine and tracking my calorie intake, but I lost the weight that I gained, and I wasn't as hungry as I was worried I'd be. My evil scheme worked! I’m full of energy! I can run away from Twilight so much further and faster now, and I’m back to being a normally sized target for her spells again!
One day, after I left food at an event and giggled at somepony's joke, the organizer observed, “You laugh just like Pinkie Pie! And you look sort of like her!”
Oh no! My evil scheme backfired! I need to convince him that I’m not Pinkie!
I acted offended, yelled, “No I don’t! Her mane and coat are much brighter pink and curlier. And she’s insanely cheerful.“, then trotted off.
Oh no, oh no, oh no! That isn’t good. Ponies are comparing me to Pinkie Pie again, but at least this uniform covers my cutie mark. I know! I’ll try to never laugh again!
And I’ll do 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, then a 10 kilometer run, then 100 squats. And I’ll do it every single day! Then I’ll be an strong, evil clone that’s as muscular as Applejack, and nopony will recognize me! And I’ll continue to have just three meals a day. I’ll be just like that super strong mare in that comic book One Kick Mare!
After I delivered food for my day job as a caterer slash delivery mare, I bought a tracksuit, and I worked out in the park.
I woke up the next morning. Ow, all of my legs hurt, and my legs are making a clicking noise. Back to my usual routine! I make breakfast and check my newspaper and tabloids like the sneaky evil spy I am.
One tabloid’s headline was ‘Baby Princess Flurry Heart Now Adorably Goth!’
Wow! That’s so cute! Did Princess Cadance or Shining Armor dye Flurry Heart’s mane black? Or did somepony at the tabloids just edit that photo in a photo shop?
I went to my catering job, and repeated my new workout after it was over.
I woke up the following day. Ow, everything hurts so much. Maybe I’ll take the day off and do something less strenuous, like piano lessons. It’ll help me if I need to pretend to be Pinkie, nopony but the piano teachers will see me, and Twilight’s book said that Pinkie was good at music, so I should be good at it too?
I looked at the image on the front page of the Canterlot Times and snorted in surprise. “Hah! Look at that stallion’s face!”
Huh. ‘Royal guards sue Shining Armor for lost wages, medical bills, insurance premiums, and emotional distress after he pranked them by hiding Poison Joke in their soft apple cider.’?
I wonder if Princess Flurry Heart drank some of that cider, and that’s why she’s goth now? But somepony in the castle must have noticed? Besides, Twilight’s book said poison joke never changes anypony’s mind, just their body, so it couldn’t be that bad. And I really love her mane!
Piano sounds like a good idea, but I’ll also stick to my workout routine, and tough it out and endure the pain. I wonder who came up with that routine?
A week later, I repeated my day’s routine and read my morning newspapers.
What? ’Prince Shining Armor bans the sale or resale of unauthorized or unofficial merchandise of Princess Twilight Sparkle in the Crystal Empire.’?
Why Twilight? She lives in Canterlot? And why not ban merchandise of any other royalty? April Fools isn’t for another week! Did I pick up a satirical newspaper by mistake? No, this is the Canterlot Times! Is Prince Shining Armor just overreacting to something? Anyway, it’s a good thing that I’m living in Manehattan, where nopony will catch me!
I looked up at the wall at my funny poster of Twilight Sparkle as a unicorn. I’d bought that print of a painting years ago from a local artist at a street market. Twilight was stuck in a tree branch with hanging vertically from her forelegs, looking despondent, with the caption ‘Hang in there!’
I giggled.
Seeing the Princess of Friendship unable to reach me or hurt me always cheered me up, and the tagline always filled me with the determination to keep up with my strenuous exercise routine.
I hope that article isn’t real. But what’s up with this? It’s like there’s wacky news about the Crystal Empire’s royalty every week or so!
A familiar, bored-looking grey earth pony mare in a bowtie looked at me, and said dryly, “Congratulations, you pass again. You missed some notes, your tempo was inconsistent and you sped up too much at the simpler parts, your volume could use more work, and most fillies would play the second song with staccato notes to imitate the original instruments. Or mares, in your case. You did better on your written examination, though,” she said, and passed me the exam results, along with my level 5 piano certificate.
I pretended to be happy and acknowledged her feeback, “Thanks! I’ll work on that.“
Twilight’s book said that Pinkie Pie can sing wonderfully. And she managed to play ten instruments at once when the parasprites overran Ponyville! Why am I still so bad at this? Why am I such a crummy, evil knockoff?!
I can’t believe those ponies just let me buy a tattoo gun and ink after I lied about working for a tattoo parlor. I wish I could get a professional to do this, but then they’d tell the government about my attempt to change my cutie mark.
Inside my apartment, I reached over to my left flank with my right foreleg and prepared to tattoo over my left side’s cutie mark.
I can do this. This tattoo gun’s brand new and from a reputable major store. I’ve read the instructions twice, and I’ve sterilized the tattoo gun five times, so this should be perfectly safe! I just need to add a few stripes to my cutie mark so that nopony ever realizes that it’s the exact same as Pinkie Pie’s. I’m Ponyville’s hide-and-seek champion, an evil clone from the Mirror Pool, and I’ve totally got this. Once I do that, I can move somewhere else with the bits I’ve saved up, and get a new disguise and a new job where nopony recognizes me, so that I can live a fun, quiet life.
Wait, I feel pretty lightheaded and everything’s blurry. I set aside the tattoo gun. Maybe I should sit down.
I woke up.
What happened? My face hurts. Did I finish tattooing over my cutie mark? That looks more like a freckle!
Alone in my apartment, I frowned, then exclaimed, “Oh, for Celestia’s sake! I’m an evil, magical construct from the Mirror Pool! I should totally be able to give myself a tattoo without fainting!”
I gave the librarian some cupcakes that were her favorite flavor, as a ’gift’ for all her help, and asked her how to know how to know things, since I’m pretty bad at knowing things. Apparently, knowing how to know things called philosophy. They have a few books on it here, but I should go to university if I really want to learn about it. And it sounds like universities have some of the the best parties! But I’ll need these things called ‘student loans’ to get enough bits. Maybe I’ll do that in a few years, but the bits are tight right now.
I went to the library again, and checked out some other books related to Starswirl the Bearded’s previously-unfinished spell. The one which Twilight Sparkle became an alicorn by completing. Would it work a second time, if I borrowed or stole the Elements of Harmony? I’d just need to ’stop reading these dusty old books’ the way that Twilight did in her journal, and ’make some friends’ that embody the rest of the Elements of Harmony.
And after that, I could find something that’d erase my memory of the rest of the spell, and prepare and hide hints to fix their destinies that would help me deduce the rest of the spell ahead of time, so that I can finish the spell a second time? I can probably be the Element of Laughter, just like Pinkie! And I’ll need to befriend at least one unicorn that can cast the start of the spell! But if I can’t, then maybe I can figure out how to steal the Alicorn Amulet for a bit and use its “untold powers” for a bit to cast it. Then maybe I can become an alicorn, and my new friends can become alicorns too, and we can keep having fun together instead of doing something as not-fun as dying.
And if that doesn’t work, then I can keep trying other things! This spellbook on Necromancy seems like it might be useful. Maybe I can become a lich. But I don't know where I'd get some of these ingredients.
I haven’t had any luck in my secret attempts to find candidates for a group of Elements. The ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie turned out to only be good at illusions. And only her performances are fun. And if ‘Friendship is Magic’, even I can tell that she isn’t the Element of Magic.
Maybe I should ask at one of the other students of Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Or even one of the other schools.
I just need to try harder.
One day, I woke up early, and felt a strange compulsion, just like the time when I felt I needed to get on the train from Ponyville to Manehattan, years ago. My Finger Food Sense must be telling me that something super-fun was about to happen, far, far away from me. I got out a compass and map and turned my body until the feeling felt the strongest, then looked at that angle of the map. It looks like it’s in Las Pegasus. I shouldn’t be too surprised. After all, many advertisements said that Las Pegasus is the fun capital of Equestria. I don’t know what my Finger Food Sense is telling me, but I’ve got to find out! I’ve just got to!
This is the last chapter of a story focused on hiding and scheming.
The next story in the series is a dramatic comedy side story.
And the main part of Finger Food's story resumes in
This series was inspired about a contest about Shining Armor being a terrible dad.
(overview of the series)
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Unfortunately... we cannot determine how much you eat and exercise in comparison to the original... we don't have data on either of you.
11886763
To clarify Pinkie's question/frustration about that if any other readers had similar comments about the Mirror Pool clone's behavior:
In the story, she doesn't have Pinkie's memories, so what she thought about them are best guesses, and she had limited knowledge of the world. She guessed that Pinkie had an excellent metabolism, because Twilight's journal would have mentioned things such as the original Pinkie Pie eating large amounts of desserts without gaining weight (E.g. eating an enormous cake in one bite).
11886791
I didn't want clarification... why... so many whys. Why hide your text behind black lines? Ashamed of what you wrote? Don't want to spoil? Then why comment at all. Why did you comment? Did I not get the joke? I still don't want clarification...
My previous comment contained mild spoilers to a comment I misunderstood the intent of. Black spoilers were originally there to avoid spoiling events in the story for anyone who hasn't read the story, and I agree they were unnecessary. Other parts of the response were removed since that turned out not to be a request for clarification.
Ooh, this looks interesting. Why the Teen rating, by the way? The description implies that the only death stuff is what happens in the show; if it's for the Death warning tag, note you can just set the story to Everyone and keep the Death warning on.
11887072
Thanks!
I'd consider it as a prominent theme, for being outside the Library and hearing every other one of your kind getting banished, fear of death/mortality, ponies arguing whether the clones are dead (a children's show would use euphemisms such as "gone"/"away" with more room for parents to reassure their children that the character(s) could be okay), discussion of mortality in general, etc.
It's much less of a story for Everyone if it focuses on the perspective of the victim, and I'd rather not have complaints about a tag being missing.