Everything was beautiful And nothing hurt
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As a filly, AJ once saw a rainbow that lead her back to her home in Ponyville. This is the story of how she began her journey from one family to another.
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First foray into writing fanfiction. Decided to use one part of my story ideas.Hope y'all like it.
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1428443
Ummm....Thanks?
An interesting detailing of the time inbetween families.
29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg
Fairly well done.
This is the very definition of a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
Besides a few mishaps that were easily fixed mentally, I find you reached into Applejack's sad tale and brought out a glimmer of happiness.
This was a lovely little piece; I had gone so far as to prep my beard for potential man-tears.
You captured the voice of AJ quite well, and gave us a nice glimpse into just who her mysterious aunt is. I love the idea of her being a Young Girls School headmistress; very fitting for that prim-and-proper AJ that we saw in the show. I also loved how she let her hair down a bit at the end to give a familiar yokel farewell.
One complaint; full names. I understand entirely the effect that you were aiming for and it did work in a way, but it is a bit jarring to the reader given that ponies don't seem to have those 'humanized' names. That said, I don't really see how else you could inject the tone into that little scene without playing with names, so it does work.
Write some more.
2731766
I going for something similar to Pinkie Pie's full name to emphasize AJ's Manehatten heritage. The way I view it, the old rich used to have long or extended names to show class or history. The nouveau riche of Manehatten mirrored this practice to some effect to "fit in" with the old money and it eventually filtered down to the common ponies. Since full names would be a pain to say all the time, the ponies adopted a two-fold naming practice, where there is a formal name (Pinamena Diane Pie) and a "common" name (Pinkie Pie). Looking back though, I probably could have used a name that had the initials AJ Apple, but hey, hindsight and all that nonsense.
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm really still stumbling through writers block right now, but I might just keep writing short, 1000-word stories like this one so I can get my writing to at least a decent level of quality.