An advanced teleportation spell puts Twilight in a comma after the spell back fired, only sending her mind into a different being in a alternate universe, but leaves her body in Equestria.
I'm reading your story, and i have a few, if needed, tips. I'm a writer myself. 1st, don't keep making cliffhangers. More often than nought you can just keep writing. Don't keep making chapters that end in c.iffhangers. 2nd, figure out the length. Don't make a really huge chapter, than a small one after. It's just kind of confusing. 3rd, ask for help if you need it. The bronies of this world can help you, if you want. That's just about all I need to say. Great chapter!
2580727 Thanks for the advice and I know that stuff (personally I love cliffhangers because it allows the reader to try and predict what's going to happen) and in terms of chapter length, it's more of a I get a few key ideas out. Some of it is small and others a little more lengthy. If you want to see how I could have actually writen this story then I suggest reading "Battlefield Equestria". This is more of laid back writing rather than constantly checking errors and plot holes. But overall thanks for the advice.
2580772 No, you actually didn't. You actually wrote a good constructive critisism unlike one I delt with in my other story. And because of that I was more than happy to read it.
2581931 I still highly advise against it. I've read stories that had a really good mood ruined by a random video in the story. Just don't add music, trust me.
I'm reading your story, and i have a few, if needed, tips. I'm a writer myself. 1st, don't keep making cliffhangers. More often than nought you can just keep writing. Don't keep making chapters that end in c.iffhangers. 2nd, figure out the length. Don't make a really huge chapter, than a small one after. It's just kind of confusing. 3rd, ask for help if you need it. The bronies of this world can help you, if you want. That's just about all I need to say. Great chapter!
2580727
Thanks for the advice and I know that stuff (personally I love cliffhangers because it allows the reader to try and predict what's going to happen) and in terms of chapter length, it's more of a I get a few key ideas out. Some of it is small and others a little more lengthy. If you want to see how I could have actually writen this story then I suggest reading "Battlefield Equestria". This is more of laid back writing rather than constantly checking errors and plot holes. But overall thanks for the advice.
2580749 Hope I didn't offend, I'm just not getting much response on my story. Oh well!
2580772
No, you actually didn't. You actually wrote a good constructive critisism unlike one I delt with in my other story. And because of that I was more than happy to read it.
2580782 Okay!... I wonder what's a good fight music?
2581267
Personally I don't like it when an author adds a link to a piece of music in their stories (and I actually strongly advice not doing so).
2581277 You see, I don't add a link, I put the actual video in, so there are no new tabs. It's part of the story.
2581931
I still highly advise against it. I've read stories that had a really good mood ruined by a random video in the story. Just don't add music, trust me.
2582183 Too late, I'm already 8 chapters in, and I add music to set the mood, not after. Sort of as a slight cliffhanger.