“...C’mon, Anon, why are you still bothered by this shit? Spike pretty much told you you were pretty damned great. So what if you wig out some ponies? Who cares? Most of the ones who wig out aren’t even your friend or just act way too righteous in the first place! But that’s what I think, isn’t it? Dammit, why did Spike have to mention the stuff that I do that pisses everyone off? Ugh, it’s because nobody likes that shit… Hell, nobody would like that kind of shit back on Earth. But you have your friends, they like you, they like what you do… Mostly. You really don’t mean to cause that much trouble, or to worry everyone, or even put them in danger. Dammit! Some of this shit wasn’t even your fault. And for all the shit I went with to reform Chrysalis, it paid off! Look at you, Anon. You just need to get your shit organized and focus on what’s important. And what is it I find important? My friends, my life, and doing cool shit. Everything has worked out so far, and now that all the villains of the world have been properly dealt with, it just means you can blast whatever new fucker shows up. Yeah, and that’s alright. Your friends like you, and that’s alright too. Feel like I’m learning a friendship lesson over here.” You said in a mock Italian accent at the end, doing your best to put your thoughts aside, finding them a nuisance as you felt things were better after the pep talk you got from Spike.
“Yet you’re always afraid of losing the friends you have. Perhaps being afraid to go back to where you started. Alone” said a voice that sounded eerily like Celestia’s.
Wut?
“Hello? Who said that?” You said as your ears perked up, looking around to find the source of that voice. Though, as you looked around, everything seemed dimmer than usual as the streets were suddenly eerily empty.
“You should know, you’re always acting like you’re the best. It doesn’t matter what you tell yourself, or what others tell you, you’ll always get cocky and end up hurting everypony around you.” Said a voice, this time sounding like Sweetie Belle
You narrowed your eyes as the streets became darker, rain starting to slowly drop out of nowhere. “Sweetie Belle? The hell? What is this? Where are you?”
“Silver Stream, Yona, Diamond Tiara, you even let me get hurt by Chrysalis all that time ago and you didn’t do anything about it! What kind of friend are you!” Shouted the voice of Scootaloo.
You remained silent. Whatever the hell this was, it was smelling like a certain princess of the night. Why? You had no clue, but if she was trying to teach you some sort of lesson, you were going to let her have it this time. Where does she get off with this? Is she trying to make you feel guilty over bullshit? Why?!
“Hmph, I bet he sees friendship as a commodity. In fact, is there a reason you stuck with me, Anon? I bet I know what you really want.” Said the voice of Diamond Tiara, in a mocking tone.
“Alright! Luna! Stop this right now! Because I’m going to get really pissed if you speak to me as Chrysalis or Starlight. Or what, you gonna talk to me as Spike next? You are aware I just spoke to him, right? Fuck…” The hell did she want? Hell, when the hell did you fall asleep? You remembered speaking to Spike, going down the castle stairs, and leaving. Did you trip down the stairs and not realize it? Ugh, you were not doing this, you already had a really shit day. “Like, seriously, Luna. Fine, I get it, you’re upset about Yona, you’re upset about what happened with Jimmy. How you found out, I have no damned clue. But talk to me like I’m a pony and not some experiment you can mess with. Either talk or get out of my goddamned head!” You barked, as the town began to vanish around you.
Suddenly there was nothing. No town, no voices, no ponies. Even if this was a dream, it was starting to become really eerie. Luna usually showed herself when she was caught. “Look, cut this fake shit, alright? It isn’t funny, and all it does is piss me off. The hell, Luna, seriously. I get it, alright? Geez, this isn’t even fair! I can’t do shit in here! Come out and face me, dammit!” You demanded. You weren’t going to put up with this. You had problems, sure, but getting them worked out through a nightmare was not going to be something you were going to put up with. You were a person, dammit, you wanted to be treated like one by these damn princesses and not seen as something to lecture or scare into believing whatever they wanted you to believe.
“Hm, I had not anticipated this. One does not usually realize the reality before them quite so quickly.” Said another voice. But this one, it didn’t make sense. It sounded like Discord.
Discord…
No, it had to be that thing, that thing that looked like him but was all glowy and sparkly.
You snorted as your right eyebrow twitched from frustration. You then turned around to see it, the glowing Discord, staring at you silently. “Luna? Tch, look, that isn’t going to fool me, I know that isn’t Discord.”
“You are correct in not believing I am Discord, though I must inform you that I am also not Princess Luna. It does seem, however, that your encounters with her have made you consciously wary of illusions.” Said the false Discord, sounding more straightforward and mundane in speech than he ever would.
“Yeah, no shit. You need to try harder if you’re going to try to fool me with some cheap trick.” You growled, stomping up to fake Discord, ready to give it a piece of your mind. “So, how do you want to do this then? Because if illusions is all you got, then I’m gonna kick your ass right here and now.”
“Calm yourself, Anon, I have not come looking for a fight. My intentions are not malevolent in nature. I needed to see, and test, your resolve. However, with your powers of perception, it is impossible for me to do that. Therefore my only option is to speak to you, and hope you understand my words.” The Discord fake explained, standing as if he was some benevolent force of nature.
“Calm myself? Calm myself?! Fuck off! I’m sick of being tested, and I’m sick of everyone trying to figure out who I am! I know who I am! I’m Anon, so who the fuck are you?!” You said with a hoof stomp. You showed no fear, certain you could beat some cheap illusionist.
“I am the spirit of the Tree of Harmony.” The false Discord said with a bow.
Wut?
WUT?!
“What?! Seriously?! Come on, how can you expect me to believe that?! You never showed up in any of the earlier seasons! I’m not an idiot, I’m not going to fall for some stupid shit like that!” There was no goddamn way. The tree had a sentient spirit? While that was possible, there was no reason for it to show up so late all of a sudden.
“If you do not wish to believe me, then you may believe what you wish. Although, I thought you’d be more agreeable with me choosing this form, but it seems I have misunderstood you once again.” The spirit said, as it slowly began to turn into a floating glowing orb.
“That’s right, you have. So then, what exactly do you want with me? What, am I some chosen one or something? I mean, that’d be cool and all, but it’d also make it pretty obvious you aren’t who you say you are.” Would it be bad to be the ultimate gary stu of Equestria? Well, this wasn’t some story after all, so if this thing was what it said it was, then having a free destined win would be kind of cool.
“No. My tests were not intended to see if you would rise up as Equestria’s hero. Rather, it was to see if I could prevent a calamity I have foreseen. A calamity caused by your ego, your arrogance.” The ball explained.
What? Your ego? What was she or he or whatever getting at? You narrowed an eye at it as you tilted your head, confused by its words. “Excuse me? You have to be kidding me. Again, that is hard to believe when you should have shown up much earlier, y’know, with the whole Storm King thing? I don’t know if you noticed, but everyone that could cause a problem through me is gone or reformed. And you can trust me, I’ve learned my lesson in showing any mercy to an evil villain.”
“You say all this, but I am able to see through you. You convince yourself that you have learned your lesson, yet also know you’ll always go back to what you’d call a ‘status quo’. The criticisms you receive and the mistakes you make only ever affect you temporarily, as your want for forgiveness or understanding isn’t to better yourself, but to sate your damaged ego until you become sure you can do what you wish without repercussions. You don’t learn from your mistakes, nor do you challenge yourself. You merely adapt to cover the weaknesses of your ego by using the powers gifted to you by one so irresponsible. Time and time again you make a mistake despite being so knowledgeable on what those mistakes can cause, simply because you feel it doesn’t apply to you. You have put others at risk, because you dismiss the dangers and risks of your power, your shortcuts often backfiring with grave results. Only your luck, and your friends, have kept you from falling into ultimate misery.” The spirit explained, with no emotion, one way or another, in its voice.
“Excuse me?” You furrowed your brow at the spirit. That actually pissed you off. Was it implying you were just a shit and careless person? Dammit, and yet, there was truth to its words. But it was only exaggerating the negative. You cared about your friends, and your family. it was disregarding all your effort to do good. Hell, it doesn’t seem to get that you have selflessly risked your life multiple times to help save others. “That’s strike three, spirit. Where the fuck do you get off psychoanalyzing me? My ego? You think I do what I do for the fame or credit? Bitch, I risk my life all the time, ALL THE TIME! Sometimes without giving it a second thought. So if this is some sort of Christmas Carol revelation, then I’m sorry to say, I’m not the Scrooge you’re looking for.”
“You needn’t have to risk your life if you did not create the situations that requires such a risk in the first place. Your reckless nature is a double edged sword that both helps and hinders you, but your attitude and inability to truly accept the repercussions that occur due to your own actions will, and has, brought about great calamity to those around you. I want you to understand that I recognize all the good you have done, but it does not condone all the bad you have caused.” The spirit explained, its voice never showing one emotion or another.
“I do understand that! Holy hell! You know what? I know what this is, you’re just one of those old spirits that THINK others should act a certain way. Well, guess what, I don’t care what you think or what you have to say, because I know my wrongs and my faults. And you know what? There is nothing left in this world connected to me that I can screw up. I reformed the changeling queen, so fuck off, you haven’t done jack shit! You know what? Why am I even taking this? You’ve already said you misunderstood my abilities and shit, so why don’t you leave me alone, huh? Go bother someone else.” You were angry, but you tried to seem calm and above it all as you gestured with your hoof dismissively towards the floating orb.
“Perhaps I have approached you in the wrong manner. But I do believe in my visions. If you wish for me to go, then I shall. However, I will pose a final question to you. You say you have solved the incidents involving you, therefore you have the experience to avoid yet another disaster. Do you believe this to be true? Because I believe there is an avenue one can use to wreak havoc across the land.” The spirit said, awaiting your answer.
“You mean if Chrysalis can manipulate me to get what she wants. You see, spirit, as I’ve already explained, I reformed her. So, are we done? Can you leave me alone now? Because I’m not going to let you sew any do-huh?” Before you could finish your sentence, the spirit simply flew off into the darkness surrounding you. Either it had heard what it wanted to hear or it simply did not like your answer. You didn’t care, only finding the experience odd and infuriating overall. “The fuck was that?" Either that really was the spirit of the tree or it was some convincing asshole trying to make you feel doubt. As the town became visible and the rain became heavier, you just pointed forward blindly and began to shout. “You can’t fake me out! You hear me?! I’m Anon! ANON! I’ve got everything under control! You got it wrong! Alright?! WRONG!”
“Anon?! Anon! Who are you shouting at, why are you out here in the rain all by yourself?” said a familiar and aristocratic voice behind you.
“What?!” You turned around to see Rarity, holding an elegant and rather large umbrella over herself with her magic to defend against the rain. “M-Miss Rarity?! Um, I… I was…” Dammit, what would she think right now if you told her you were yelling at the spirit of the tree of harmony, in the rain, when it was seemingly unperceived by everyone else around you. “I was going to Aunt Fluttershy’s, but some jerk showed up and started, uh, saying some mean things about me.”
“Some jerk? In this dreadful rain?” Rarity asked confusingly as she looked around for the culprit. “How rude, I absolutely know how you feel when it comes to uncouth rabble rousers like them. But Anon, you shouldn’t be standing out in the rain like this, you’ll catch a cold. Come next to me, and I’ll walk you to your aunt’s cottage.”
“Huh? Oh, u-um, thank you, Miss Rarity.” Showing a respectful bow, you took to her side as she adjusted the umbrella slightly to accommodate you, then turned around to walk towards the cottage. “Really, thank you. But what are you doing out here?”
“I was heading to the castle. I have a few plans for the school that I wanted to go over with Twilight. But catching you out here, yelling at seemingly nothing, I simply had to see if you were alright and make sure you do not catch some sort of sickness. I can’t believe somepony would choose now to provoke a response from you. Really, you’re just like my Spikey Wikey, a hero! And quite the gentlecolt. Very rude, I must say.”
Your ears fold as you hear those words. Dammit, why did her words sting? It didn’t make any sense to you. There was no way she’d believe the spirit of the tree was harassing you for bullshit reasons, so you shouldn't feel any guilt on what she believes. Fuck it, why should you let it bother you? You did nothing wrong. “Yeah, well, I guess some ponies just have to cause trouble.”
“Indeed. Well, whatever they said, you shouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure it was all hogwash anyway. In fact, can you tell me who this perpetrator was? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind.” Rarity said, with distaste in her tone.
“I… Didn’t actually catch who it was. The rain made them hard to spot.” You lied, once again feeling a sting as you immediately try to mentally dismiss it.
“Of course, the coward’s veil. Well, never you mind, Anon. You’re with me now, and I’ll make sure you reach your destination without needing to worry about any more provocation. If I know your aunt, and I surely do, then I’m sure she’ll bring a smile to you even better than Pinkie Pie can. And I do not say that with insult towards Pinkie Pie, mind you. I simply mean that you always seem so calm and soothed when in her presence. One would truly believe you see her as your mother rather than an aunt. Which, if I do say so myself, is exactly the case as far as I’m concerned. I’ll even go as far to say that you, Fluttershy, and Discord make an unexpected but very loving family.” Rarity then giggled as she turned her head towards you. “I hope I didn’t go too far with my sentiments. But then again, I have this feeling you feel the same way.”
You did!... You do. That wasn’t a lie. That was the truth! You valued your family. You valued Fluttershy and Discord. Of course the spirit didn’t even think about that. Trying to make you seem like a piece of shit when you’re part of a fully functional family. Yeah, fuck that thing. “You’re right, Miss Rarity! I love my aunt Fluttershy! And I really like Dad!” Oh geez, that sounded corny. But it was the truth.
Rarity giggled warmly once again, she almost looked like she wanted to give you a pat on the head, but she just looked on forward and gave a gentle nod. “I can say the same about my family. My love for my family, and my friends, is stronger than anything in the fashion world. Remember, Anon. Your friends and family will always be forever, beyond any material possession. Well, I’m sure I didn’t have to tell you that, right?”
Friends and family…
Forever…
You’d never drive them all away, right? There was nothing you could do now to screw things up…
You were sure of this…
You were sure…
You looked up to Rarity, and gave a reluctant nod. “Yeah. Trust me, Miss Rarity, I know.”
Honestly, this was a chapter I was looking forward to quite a bit, and went as poorly as I expected it would (That's not a bad thing). There's something so amusing about the tree not being able to get a truly proper read on Anon. It literally messes up twice, wait no, THREE times trying to cajole and manipulate him, and then calls him arrogant and fucks off.
Its basically Discord but on lethal amounts of Adderall, arrogant in of itself, manipulative, and intrusive.
I look forward to Anon seeing past its "seemingly wise nature" and calling it out even better as its "plan" unfolds, or gets unfolded before him and he gets to criticize all sorts of things. Like for example, the tree clearly knows who the villains are, but isn't directly telling Anon with the reason I can only assume being to teach a lesson yet unlearned.
II can just imagine Anon going, "So you tell me my knowledge is betrayed by my own actions, but then refuse to give me knowledge that would be helpful in stopping other's mental trauma that, in your words, I will ignore after the solved problem ANYWAY, in order to teach me a lesson you would imagine I ignore for the status quo?"
And I can just imagine the tree ignoring him and pissing him off enough to try to think of a way to threaten it.
Frankly, this one chapter alone makes me wish for a human in Equestria story where the tree just ceaselessly pesters the human to fix things because he'd be the most effective at it, and for him to just not care about the fact the tree is trying to get him to do things. Like, if any pony asks him that is outright not the tree, he'll help, and this just confuses the tree even further and it would be so freaking amusing to read the shenanigans involved with that.
An accurate deconstruction of Anon. An arrogant guy who has been skirting by mostly on luck and others helping him and constantly overrates himself.
I swear, Anon is worse at learning from his own fuck-ups than Chris fucking Chan. His ego isn't much better, either.
Damn the tree really called out anon here but it definetly doesn't seem any better with how they approached annon
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It would make for an excellent read, it’s kinda like a deconstruction on the The Big Good of a story not always being in the right.
If I was in such a scenario, and the Tree demanded I travel to location A to fix problem B. An it neglected to inform me what problem B was or why I need to fix it in the first place. I wouldn’t feel inclined to help it, doing a small act of good for a stranger who lives i the same place is no problem for me. But going across country to do something for a random Entity is a decent stretch past my good will.
Admittedly it could have descent chance of convincing me to do it, if it showed up as an Angel and claimed to be a servant of God giving me a divine task. I would be skeptical as hell, A) because a demon could make the same claim, B) This world has literal magical shapeshifters. Real angel or not I’m still prepping to fight a demon before I leave. If it can kill a demon it can kill a changeling. I’m also telling all my friends in town about the meeting and my travel destination.
I actually read a fimfiction that didn’t potray the Tree as an infallible Big Good.
Great chapter by the way.
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Share that fanfiction then, I like the concept of Anon being pestered by tree that cannot see how it does any wrong.
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Well, if you were in the same situation as Anon, you'd have the horn, correct? One could look into the situation , and if magic is used properly, be dealt with with a total of two charges used. Then, you can use the regular horn upgrade to go back home via water, leaving you one charge. You'd have an extra charge for if anything went wrong, and that includes the tree somehow turning out to be a demon.
But I'm looking at it quite simply. there's way too many variables to consider on what would be viable when dealing with the spirit.
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It’s called Night Wing by Gravity012, the scene I’m talking about is way in their, specifically the chapters called Broken and Deserted.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/402462/night-wing
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See I was looking at this situation from the perspective of myself in Equestria. I have broad strokes of what the timeline is like, with the exception of very specific episodes.
If I had Anon’s horn in then this scenario than your suggestion would be my most likely course of action. 1 charge to get their, maybe 1 charge to fix the problem, diplomacy can solve quiet a few problems on its own. Plus as you pointed out if it was a trap I’d have 1 maybe 2 charges left to deal with the Attackers. Now granted I’m no expert on Chaos magic like Anon, so I might seriously screw it up. I think my plan of action would either be to summon a bunch of minions to fight for me(create a real life Jam Breeding Machine) or I make the world into a Rubberhose cartoon and hopefully win that way.
Plus your right, the situation would be very complex since we would no what the Spirit in question could do. The Tree has been shown to be quite powerful, and it seems to have precognition abilities. However it’s physical form is fragile, it’s either capable or unwilling to reliably communicating with other people, and it may not be able to see its own future. Alternatively it could and was willing to die for its cause, and chose not to fight fate.
If I found myself early in the MLP time stream I’d go for the Inspiration Manifestation Book. The power to bring my imagination to life is one I would covet greatly. After all free food, water, shelter, and loyal minions, all for the low low price of possibly going crazy.
Missing punctuation at the end of the dialogue?
Should the uppercase S be lowercase?
than
have?
Oof that tree was spot on with the evaluation but its approach needs a lot of work.
Ah yes, Dadonequus Discord, Book 2. Alternate title: how Delusionally Arrogant Can Anon Become Before The Readers Tear Their Hair Out.
Edit: Ok, a few chapters later and I'm tentatively hopeful...
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Yeah he made mistakes but I see a guy who loyal to the end. He seems to be better at that than rainbow considering he never gave up on the queen even when he had more than enough reason to consider her a lost cause. Rainbow was more interested in a wedding than her sad best friend who just got called out for trying to the right thing. He doesn't tell many folks of his past because he wishes to have a new life. He might have a bit of an ego but it not worse than rainbow who had to be taught a lesson about it. He just does the same things the same twilight always does in an emergency jump in with barely a plan and hope for the best. He is quite nice and can be a prankster sometimes. I don't see anything bad about him. And the tree better have a better case than your ego will lead to doom.
I can see why this episode was hard to write.
I'm gonna give the tree the benefit of the doubt, it might not be as all-seeing as we think it is. However, it still trash-talked Anon.
Oh, and I predicted the tree, yay me. And yay to the author for making this a satisfying mini mystery.
oh my god! THIS IS AMAZING!