Rainbow Dash struggles to learn how to mentor Scootaloo.
Chapters (10)
- Member Since 5th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen Sep 25th, 2022
RoyalBardofCanterlot
Celestia and Luna's royal bard. Nature is my God, Art is my religion, Love is the Law. Concordia Invictus
RoyalBardofCanterlot
Joined 5th Sep, 2014 ·
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Not really, no.
"So, You're Pegasus Filly is Stuck on a Cloud."
Should be "your", not "you're". :)
This would be a lot more interesting (or to put it more precisely, interesting at all) if you'd made good on the promise of your synopsis and actually framed the story as if it were a self-help booklet written by Rainbow Dash instead of just yet another garden variety Dash/Scoots story.
Just so you know, this is the best chapter name ever. And the mental image of Scootaloo stuck on a cloud like a cat in a tree is adorable. Does anyone have a picture of that?
Well, that's when you come in like this
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/04/08/article-2305669-192C77F6000005DC-221_634x333.jpg
and buck the little shits in the face.
I love stories were Rainbow Dash is Scootaloo's guardian. It provide such a new and natural dynamic for the characters.
Awsome story
Pegasi
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proud race, Pegasi
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Indent.
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This story has potential. I'll fav it so I can see what you come up with next.
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Scootabuse....ugh. Still, I love this. It's adorable. I love seeing these two. Needs more fluff.
I think Rainbow should get a Princess to visit Scootaloo's house... I nominate Luna since the Royal Canterlot Voice seems appropriate for the occasion! If her father is that big a bastard he needs to be taken down... and tossed into prison where they don't take kindly to foal abusers.
gently
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Indent, and remove italics from underlined area.
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Still has potential.
feathers
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Either connect with above sentence or move down a line.
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You really need to fix the indentions in this chapter. Half of the fic is indented, the other half isn't.
Other than that, pretty good chapter. It's good to see it update.
6215247
You know, we've never seen Celestia use the Canterlot Royal Voice. And Twilight had to learn that "Turn into a raging Inferno-Pony" from someone. I think Celestia on Fire, using her hurricane level CRV would be epic. Especially if Luna was joining her. The lungs on both of those mares could probably simulate an Earthquake. That and we can get some Scootadopts.
6215663 Thanks for the review.
6215801
You're welcome
, honestly this story has quite a bit of potential and I'm eager to see where this fic goes ^_^. I hope Dashie is able to help out Scoots (btw. nice work in going into the preening section. Not a lot of writers talk about things that can get into the feathers of avian creatures.).
6215663 Okay, that is an awesome image and needs to happen...
RoyalBardofCanterlot where is the next chapter for this story
6546766 Working on it.
6546826 ok
6546826 why did you take the next chapter down
6547294 I'm not finished with it and decided to make it slightly longer.
6547324 okay
You're newest chapter didn't show up on my unread chapters in my tracking or favorite libraries. Any idea why or how that could happen?
Ponies go fishing?
6549265 Many breeds of horses can eat fish, particularly Nordic breeds (I've always thought of unicorns as Norse. Don't ask why.)
Nice to see this story back! It doesn't end abruptly but ends in the best spot.
6549503 Thanks, I was wondering about that.
I can see Rainbow keeping an eye on Scoot's parents just to be safe.
Was worried you took out the spanking for being "too violent" or some nonsense.
6656243 Oh, no. That scene is too plot relevant as the next chapter will show.
Nice.
Me likey, have a sticker.
pre08.deviantart.net/a1de/th/pre/f/2011/112/d/9/rainbow_dash_seal_of_approval_by_lemonyhooves-d3d8vey.png
Not sure which is worse, the abuse or neglect.....
Awesome, I love the Cloud Shrine and I hope Scootaloo can keep that feeling of peace during troubled time.
Apple Bloom
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6549265
They do eat fish in cannon. Technically it's implied in the Inspiration Manifestation episode were Rares turns kids party into a soiree / garden party [including shrimp hor dourves].
6549307
Actually horses can eat any type of meat. They do so in nature and is largely documented. All forms of Equines can actually be read about or seen [on you tube] eating animals, and of course there are documents of horses drinking blood [for the nutrients].
Find that hard to believe. Like seriously hard to believe. Especially since they didn't seem to know what Changelings were until they showed up, Changelings aren't about revealing themselves to "passing strangers" where that'd endanger their love gathering, and Changelings are shape shifters. There martial arts would be centered around that as well as their changeling magics [flight and magic]. Dash getting taught that seems completely unrealistic. Even in a fantasy setting.
________________________________
I'm thinking some light arm and ab exercises? You have other muscles besides your wings, don't neglect them. "
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delete
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6679682 Yeah, I'm saving that as a reference to another story I have in the works.
6679682 Fixed the repeated word. Thanks for the review.
i wonder if Scootaloo could just take a bit of the cloud and shape them into steps?
Hm...would Applejack have been able to stare a cockatrice in the eyes, and make it regret everything it had ever done? Would Applejack be able to talk a dragon into feeling bad for defending itself? No? I didn't think so. How about supply the last wingpower needed to make that tornado and transport the water up to Cloudsdale? How about being wiling to take care of dangerous creatures, knowing full well how dangerous they really are? I could go on, but I think that I have said enough. Fluttershy is a warrior, she's just one that happens to have common sense.
" Traditional Pegasan training always involved a bit of corporal punishment, but Dash was reluctant to go down that path."
It works as a wake up call to kids that they screwed up.
And personally, I think pain can be a symbol of growth too, no pain no gain after all.
Ironic isn't it? Fluttershy in spite of being a klutz can still actually fly, and is love with the ground.
While Scootaloo is glued to the ground, and wants to fly more than anything.
YOU MENTIONED QUEEN MAJESTY!?!?!
"Hey, Blank Flanks."
So this takes place BEFORE they give Diamond a clue and get their marks eh? (There is a bit of great irony, they could have earned their marks the day they met each other, all they had to do was treat their worst enemy like a person! In fact, they did the OPPOSITE!
"She's not stuck being stuck up like you." Scootaloo's words actually worked AGAINST getting their marks!).
And Pegasi do seem like spartan.. hopefully not the 'dispose of defective babies' horror.
6746446 It won't come up in the fic, but a ban on infanticide has existed since the Great Unification of the Pegasus Tribe. Just a bit of head cannon.
6753696
So no, "Every foal deserves to be loved, so we grind up the foals who aren't into rainbows so they aren't foals anymore."
6753743 No Rainbow Factory.
Considering we haven't heard one mention, or one sight of Scootaloo's family, even if you don't believe she's with her family, it's kinda clear that she has a MUCH MUCH stronger bond with RD. Heck, during the 'I'm so proud of you' scene where the families told the CMC how proud they were of getting their cutie marks, (Rarity speaking to Sweetie IMHO implies she's ironically closer to her sister than her parents), they weren't even present. (Similar to Diamond Tiara's parents weren't present, which has some sad implications now, her father was too busy and her mother didn't even care to show up for such a damn important celebration for her daughter.).
I just hope if we see Scoots' parents, we get a damn GOOD reason why they haven't appeared in all this time, and I bloody hope it's better than 'second honeymoon' and 'they're so painfully average.'
her's
hoofwriting
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Applebloom >> Apple Bloom
6772299 I thought there was something off about that sentence. Thanks for the review.
6772375
Your welcome. Btw, this is a rather cute fic, and the longer chapters [like this one] do allow you room to do more. That being said, keep up the good work, this story is a wonderful little fluff piece.
More cuddels
Shit, meet fan.
The father made is clear he does not care about Scootaloo, and her mother does not pay attention to her.
Dash: "Hay dad. You know that prank I tried to pull on you and mom with Scootaloo? It is no longer a prank. You two are grandparents."