I love fairytales, anime and a bit of an mlp fim fan. fluttercord is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. ^.^ Fluttershy is one my favorite ponies next to Discord.
Fluttershy is hybrid vampire, but unlike the other vampires, she has a thirst for apples instead of blood. All her life, she'd had to keep quiet about her vampire side. But the truth can only be hidden for so long. Fluttershy will face many challenges as she begins to confront her true self. Will she accept the pony she sees? Or the feelings within her heart?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I hope everyone likes this fanfic, needed to do something to help power through my writer's block.
FIRST!
story sounds good so far
I like the development of this its grabbed my attention. looking forward to the next chapter.
6877539
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback, I was worried I wasn't doing well at first because no one commented/all the down votes. Trying to make good fanfic is what I'm striving for.
6878156
)) anyway this fic is pretty new so give it time when more views roll in the rating will probably look better!.
yeah well id like to know how many (master fics!) the down voters wrote
i think the pacing and detail in this is well balanced things aren't moving too fast or slow and the detail isn't to little or too much. ((i hate it when i read a crap ton of words about room detail or something not that important to the story it just slows it down!
6878225
Thanks. I enjoy constructive criticism, since I hope to be a writer, and I worry about stupid things such as pacing and attention to detail. When I think of the story in my mind, I think deeply about the character's thoughts, feelings, motives, and try to put them into words. I picture clearly in my head and try to get it written down. I'll be done with the next chapter soon!
6878257
oh I wasn't criticizing you!! I was talking about other fic's I've read where the detail was over the top. yours is great!. keep doin what your doin! :)
Formatting for this story is good. There are no run on paragraphs and the chapters are at a length and pace where I don't feel fatigued after reading them(Yes I have read stories that can take 3k words and make it seem like 10k or even longer). You introduce new concepts well but I don't feel like I've quite got a grasp on how this AU Equestria differs from normal Equestria, perhaps you could talk a little bit about what the old world is vs the new world(just a suggestion obviously its up to you).
Overall though I'm liking the concept and I'm always a sucker for when a character hides something from other people in a story, I think I might be addicted to that particular brand of dramatic tension.
Gotta admit, very mixed on this story.
On one hoof, I like The concept and the way this is written. It's a decent looking Fluttercord. All of the mane six are well done and in character. Rainbow is especially amusing. The hybrid thing that Fluttershy is is interesting, especially with Twi's explanation of them later on.
On the other hoof, there are a lot of little things that are kinda irritating.
A lot of missing words and spelling errors. Not enough to make it unreadable, but definitely enough to be easily noticed.
The vampires are trying to 'hide' in society, yet, ALL of their names are non-pony names! Eldra!? What kind of cutiemark or special ability does that link to? At least Alistar kinda works if he has a star for a cutie mark. Seriously, wanna find out if somepony is a vampire in this world? Just ask them their name, it'll be obvious.
Alucard... why? Just why did you use that name? >.<
Eldra's plan is kinda strange, but, I guess she's just taking a gamble that the pure bloods won't just ally with the ponies and kill off the vampires causing all the issues. Or that the purebloods won't just declare that the colonization is screwed now and order everyone back to the old world.
Vampire's in this world are much stronger then the norm. Next to no weaknesses. Sun only bothers them, garlic doesn't do anything significant. Really, the sun was their only major weakness, unless you count needing to drink blood as one. I suppose the ponies have numbers, but, I dunno the world. if a 1,000 vampires count as an army to Eldra, I would be quite amused for her to find herself looking down a charging line of 100,000 Equestrians. The ability to control someone with your eyes doesn't work if there are 9 other ponies stabbing at ya is all I'm saying.
Again, mixed on this, but, still looking forward to more. Curious on how the Fluttercord will develop.
6898606
As to the name thing, you don't think the vampires won't lie? Also, that's mostly a pure blood thing. Half-breeds are created from those who were once ponies, so they still have their old names. Why did I use Alucard? Because despite what everyone says, I kinda like. Yes it's dumb to use as an alias, but on the other hand or hoof, it's kind of catchy and rolls off the tongue when you say it aloud.
Not to spoil anything but, the pure bloods are going to start making considerations.
Sorry for the misspellings, it happens to everyone.
Part of the idea for Eldra is that she's supposed to be cunning, diabolical, and insane. Like a madwoman who toys with you to get you angry and takes pleasure in mutilating you. And her plan isn't entirely war based, she intends to instill fear so that there is confusion and violence, most of which she's doing just to spite her brother.
And vamp weaknesses? I'm loosely using Buffy logic in which they can be killed if you cut off their heads or use a certain spell.
Hope that clears up any confusion you had.
6898845
I kinda meant actual vampire weaknesses. Technically, most creatures weakness is having their head ripped off. ^-^;;
Never watched Buffy, so dunno. I suppose it's preference. I like their being a trade for power, and the vampires in this seem to have next to no downside. The blood one would be more problematic if they all didn't have the ability to paralyze with their eyes.
My Inner fanboy's thoughts:
Fluttercord! Fluttercord! Fluttercord! Fluttercord!
The universe accepts your challenge, Fluttershy
Dun-Dun-Cliffhangerssssssss...
Another great chapter
6898900
Especially with these things that Lyra described to me called 'Hue-mons' which are apparently experts at knowing their own weaknesses and excell at killing themselves
But what would I know? Lyra hasn't seen one before so who says they even exist- *gets smacked by Lyra* OWW
6911265
agreed
NO DISCORD DON'T YOU DARE PUSH THOSE FEELINGS AWAY!!!! LUNA DANGIT!!! Sorry about that, really great chapter!
I feel a ship cumming on...
So the way Discord was released from his statue and made a deal with Eldra just reminded me of Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls, I suppose it was the idea of deals, she released him so he will help her.
Ok I can't wait for Twilight to meet Fluttershy after reading about hybrids
But I suppose that Rainbow's going to be rather judgemental towards her.
And I always look forward to the FLUTTERCORD!!!
Sorry it took so long to bring up the next chapter, got a little stuck on how to start and ended up preoccupied with school work.
You know, I feel like Fluttershy should have turned to Discord - I'm sorry I mean Tony - and asked for a pen and paper to write a note, because when he was 'writing' it seemed pretty obvious that he either hadn't written anything down, or left some kind of ransom note or just some completely useless letter that leaves no clue as to where Fluttershy is. Of course I may be wrong, and he has just left a brief note saying they've gone out, but I suppose then Twilight and Rainbow wouldn't have felt it necessary to worry more than they did already about her with Tony.
But I hope that Discord reveals his true form to her next chapter, because it doesn't seem right to have him disguised as a pony, I really prefer his usual appearance.
But this was a good chapter, although I'm not looking forward to the confrontation between Twilight, Rainbow and Alistair when he gets home and finds his daughter missing and two strange mares in his home... That's not going to go down well.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
7032312
The fact that I've been using Discord's pony form is to build up suspense. Fluttershy has spent time with this guy and allowed herself to trust him (enough to leave a note for her friends instead of doing it herself), and in turn, he abducts her. The reason I didn't have them meeting in his true form like a lot of other fanfics do, is because...well, you'll have to wait and see. In the mean time, please keep commenting below, I appreciate/acknowledge your feedback.
Omg! This is awesome! Can't wait for the next chapter!
7057435
Thanks! It took me a while to get it just right. I'll do my best with the next chapter.
This story is just getting better and better!
I'm looking forward to next chapter!
The stabbing part made me gasp! Intense but the story is so great and thrilling! Absolutely loved this chapter, especially the last part!
7064318
I aim to please. And I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
I have never read this story. IS this Fluttercord???
Just asking!
7090269
Yes, I just like to think love should be built up over time instead of being at first sight or just because someone's beautiful.
[She felt like nothing could go wrong.]
Murphy's law is about to come in full force
You can't fight it Discord! Just give in
Stuff's about to go down
Oh! Do hurry up and update. I'd like to see Eldra fall so bad!
Drake! It has to be Drake! He's backstabbing Eldra because she a b****!
7174764 My thoughts exactly! Though I expected from the beginning he wasn't truly working for her so much scheming behind her back or some such. He didn't come off to me as very loyal to her by any bonds.
So I'm guessing the mysterious pony is actually Fluttershy's twin?
Oooh... Interesting!!! Here's to hoping Discord can escape soon. Enjoying this story lots!
7176950 I am guessing that too!
Also when is the next chapter coming? need more reading!!!!
This was awesome! Damn Fluttershy is so badass, and thats why she's my favourite character!
That was an awesome climax, and I think a sequel would be just great!
thats 4 two more makes a full set
5 one left and shes a doozy
Is this the end of the story?
7238425
Kinda, but I'll make it worth while, especially since there will be a sequel in the near future.
This. Is. Amazing! A sequel would be awesome!
Wow, I don't know if I was expecting him to be Fluttershy's brother, but was totally waiting for him to betray Eldra. Is it supposed to make you uncertain as to whether he's good or not. When he was interfering, I though he was just helping, now I'm not sure, LOL.
Oh well, looking forward to the sequel. Great Job!!!
7246542
Right now, Drake serves as kind of a gray character, where you don't know his true motivations until they become apparent. All will be explained in the sequel.
Love it~~~!
5 hearts out of 5
7246951
Thanks!