“So let me get this straight.” I started, pinching the bridge of my snout with a hoof.
Don’t ask me how without fingers; just think happy thoughts till the question goes away.
“You want me, a stallion you have known for literally less than a day, to come with you to the Gleaming City because you want to, what, study me?” Mystic smiled sheepishly in reply while her body guard stared at me from his spot mere inches behind her.
I stared at her for a solid minute before sighing and walking out of the inn, deciding that it was way too early in the morning to deal with this shit. I may be immortal, but even the creator needs his beauty sleep.
“Fine, whatever, was heading there anyway so I could rip a researcher a new one.” That’s when I rounded on her and held a hoof towards the brick house called Silver Shield. “But if he starts anything, he’s going to be getting there a hell of a lot faster than the both of us.”
He just growled in response, quiet a sound to hear coming from a pony.
“Silver.” The mare warned, making the big guy shut up real quick under her glare, before turning to me with a smile on her muzzle. “Not to worry my new companion, Sir Shield will be the epitome of honor and courtesy won’t you Sir Shield?”
The boy grumbled, muttering a few choice words under his breath.
“Speak up boy, got something to say, say it.” I told him. A smirk now plastered on my face. He growled again and hefted his silver battle axe over his shoulder, reflecting the sunlight off it as well as his armor, which was silver as well.
Why oh why am I not surprised?
“Silence your tongue you impertinent foal, or we will remove it from thine muzzle.” He threatened, voice low and eyes sharp.
“Didn’t you already try that once?” I chuckled, flexing my wings and turning back around to resume my walk. “Freaking Knights Templar, thought the last of you lot were killed back in the purges.”
Turns out that size does not always equal speed, because Silver was nearly two heads taller than me, yet he was able to fix that axe under my neck almost as soon as I finished that statement.
“We said silence!” he growled again, pushing the edge into my throat. I just sighed and grabbed the handle before twisting it around and punting him away with a one hoofed buck, sending him crashing into a pile of wooden crates.
“As I said before, I’m not afraid to make you the first unicorn to achieve flight.”
Freaking holy knights, they always had a stubborn streak about them, never learning when to just call it quits when they constantly fail to complete their objective. Sure it kept them going back when they were fighting actual demons, knowing that hell-spawn didn’t need to rest like they did, meaning that battles were normally drawn out till the last of the darkness was purged.
Sadly, it seems that this mind-set remained the same over the years, meaning that Silver Shield would likely never let go of his prejudice towards Thestral’s, despite the fact that he most likely has never faced one in battle. I couldn’t just get rid of him though, not without starting a full on race war in the process, or at least having a bounty put on my head.
After all, I learned that I was very much wrong about the First Order.
As it turns out, they only part timed as demon hunters now, the rest of their job was to guard the rulers of the pony kingdoms, or would it be queendoms since all of their rulers were female.
Semantics aside, that’s one hell of a promotion. I had to ask myself how I missed something like that, might have even answered the question of why the ponies were the first ones to basically ignore their ancestral mother and father and focus on me alone.
That’s when I felt a hoof lightly tap me on the nose, bringing me back from my musing and having me focus on a lightly frowning Mystic and Silver, who had a much deeper frown.
“Sir Ash, are you even listening?” she asked, poking me once more for good measure.
“Nope, what’s up?” She just pointed at the axe, which was still held tightly in my fetlock. I hummed before shrugging and tossing it towards him, watching him catch it before throwing it across his back and hearing its holds click into place.
He huffed and limped forward, favoring his left side while Mystic watched him with concerned eyes. I huffed and followed after him, keeping my distance and hearing the clip clop of Mystic hurriedly following.
“I’m so sorry again Sir Ash, Silver is usually never like this. He has always been so calm and collected.” She said with a sigh, staring at the leading stallion. I just shrugged and trotted on, honestly just ready to get this over with.
Not that I don’t enjoy the company of an actual person after spending the last few millennia with nothing more than my thoughts and one way communication, but I had kind of gotten used to the solitude, what with the last actual conversation I had was with Spring before her and my other children ascended into paradise.
Sometimes I wish I had followed them.
I will say that a knight of the First Order was definitely a lesser of two evils. At least they praise me instead of proclaiming me as a false god like the children of Borreal, which was a cult created by someone I actually bothered to contact for fun.
It wasn’t much, just a small glimpse of a future war that could have been prevented if they bothered to pay attention to the details. But I tended to overestimate mortal intelligence and I was reminded why I never liked giving them advice.
Turns out, not even three days later, he started studying dark magic to try and prevent the war from ever becoming a thought, but he forgot the most important rule of dark magic.
You don’t fuck with dark magic.
He ended up becoming the very first being to ever succumb to the dark arts without the aid of a demon, eventually starting his own war that, while thankfully less devastating than the original one, still killed hundreds and ended with the birth of the Cult of Borreal, named after the unicorn himself.
“Sir Ash, are you alright?” My ear twitched before my eyes turned to regard my companion, sending a questioning look her way. “You seem distracted.”
I shook my head offered her a small humorless laugh. “It is nothing, merely letting my thoughts wander?” I smiled, grabbing my whiskey from my saddlebag and taking a larger than normal swig.
“That cannot be healthy.”
“It isn’t, but it helps ease the pain some of my past actions left me with.” This wasn’t a total lie, the metric shit-ton of alcohol in this one bottle won’t get me buzzed, but it helps remind me of my daughters when they were still young and stupid.
Those were simpler times.
She gave me an understanding nod and leaned into me a little, the equine version of a hug on the move. I gave her an appreciative nod and nudged her with a wing, hearing a small growl from ahead, meaning our goodly knight was still paying attention.
“That’s enough depressing thoughts though; we need to focus on the road ahead.” I pulled out another map, mentally stabilizing myself so I wouldn’t burn this one, and let my eyes wander across the page. “On hoof, the trip should take about a week...at least I could, but the two you would probably add about three days.”
“Art thou nsinuating we would be unable to keep up?” I heard Silver growl, he seems to do that a lot, while twisting around to glare at me. I walked up to him and snorted before flicking his nose with a wing and walking by him.
“No amount of training on the planet could put you at my level colt.” I heard the axe clips come undone before dainty clip clops and hushed whispers made them click back into place, making my smile grow.
Poor boy was whipped
Their quiet conversation continued, my mind selectively tuning them out while letting my thoughts wander again. Not about anything important, but Silver’s speech reminded me to check on my translator later. It’s worked fine so far, so it either didn’t register for him, or he laid it on so thick it literally just said screw it and tried its best. I’d worry about it later, right now I need to figure out if I should actually stay with these two or ditch them overnight.
Wouldn’t feel much guilt and I would get there a hell of a lot quicker, but that means I had to talk my way into the research department of several racist unicorns and find a very specific researcher, not that difficult but more work than I would like.
At the same time though, I could get Mystic to take me directly there and point out said researcher, all while possibly getting me an audience with either the research committee or the board of education.
Hell, I’ll get an audience with the Queen herself if I have to; it’s one of my freaking thrones after all.
In order to do any of this though, I guess I have to stick around with these two...joy.
“Come on you two, I want to be out of sight of this city before nightfall.” I shouted, noticing them falling slightly behind already. Their ears perked and Mystic said one last thing to her guard before moving to catch up, leaving the stallions eye twitching but following his boss’s lead.
Yeah, I started regretting letting these two follow me less than two hours into the trip, not in the way I had imagined though. Silver was actually okay as a traveling companion, nice and quiet while only sending me a death glare every other five minutes. It was annoying, but at least he didn’t stop us every ten minutes to study a new species of flower on the side of the road like our lovely little Dawn did.
It was amusing at first, seeing that academic spark in her eye as she set about studying every little detail of plants and animals that were actually quite common in the coastal areas of Equestria, but were likely quite rare in her mountain home.
After a while it lost its charm and I started telling her everything about every single thing that caught her attention. It sped us back up but I can officially say that it was the most I had talked since creation.
Course this made the mare sad and Silver mad, lovely combination if you want a giant Unicorn trying to give you a lobotomy with a throwing knife. Where he kept it I will never know, but on the bright side Mystic was no longer sad.
One lecture, one death threat, and one bruised ego later, we continued on our way until we hit a forest and stopped for the night, my companions eager to set up camp while I grumbled about mortals and their lack of stamina.
“You cannot truly be trying to say you are not tired Sir Ash, we have been walking since sunrise.”
Seems I was grumbling a bit louder than I had wanted...whatever.
“I don’t get tired Lady Dawn, never have, and I doubt I ever will.” I replied, flying up to the trees and proceeding to hang myself upside down by my tail, watching Silver as he set up the fire and mats of his boss and then his own, frequently giving me the stink eye all the while.
I just rolled my eyes and cocooned myself in my wings, letting my consciousness fade away, not at all looking forward to the headaches tomorrow would bring.
Call it. This mare is the ancester of Twilight.
Nice update man. Liked it. BIt shorter than I would've liked tho. Glad to see you still here though.
10246053
Sorry about that, wanted it to be longer, but I have issues making longer chapters when I'm tired and I don't want to torture my proofreader, mostly because she yells at me when I write when I should be sleeping.
Next chapter should hopefully be longer.
Glad to see you enjoy it though, thx.
Ash tolerating Silver at all is getting old, fast. He's tried murdering him twice now and spends every word insulting him. If ges going to keep on like this, you might as well just have Ash bend over and let Silver do as he wishes and end the story there, because its fucking aggravating as hell.
Expositioning
Positions are switchering
End in bickering
10246109
Come now, is it really even an attempt in the eyes of a God when a mortal tries to slay them. Besides, if anything, Primus is more amused than annoyed. Like a child trying to kill you with a plastic spoon to the leg, its adorable, especially when they think they can actually hurt you.
Silver will learn, and it will be glorious.
10246064
You could get more proofreaders then? Heard that someone has at least three on rotating day slots or whathaveyou
10246143
I could, but I'm so used to either myself or just the two of us, we have a dynamic and I don't write enough to get more.
10246109
I get it. But immortality and invulnerability, not to mention not giving a single hoot, contribute to a very whip-like person. Long, flexible, indestructible, and always there to sting you into the path of discipline if you overstep your boundaries.
It's seems to be working fine thus far.
YASSS NEW CHAPTER
10246141
Oh i can’t wait for that, i only wonder how? After all killing him isn't really the Best option considering how others might react to it, and i don't really have other ideas than that. Really curious how it will turn out
I'm starting to think that Dawn is the head of a very specific time travel project. And that she isn't studying Ash just because he's a bat. Then again bat pony Primus is relatively new. But we don't exactly know what else the researchers learned from their little trip.
10246046
That or sun and moon butt. With the possibility of Ash being the daddy.
10246109
He could certainly crush Silver like the ant he is but it's certainly more fun just letting the kid huff around in frustration. I'm pretty sure Ash already tried and is tired of the vengeful, wrathful, god shtick and wants to try something different for a change.
10246210
Must be amusing too. The irony of being called a demon when you're the big man himself. He'd probably be more concerned with how entertaining a grand reveal would be rather than the disrespect he keeps getting from Silver.
Why do I get the feeling that Silver is going to try to kill him and make it seem like an accident but couldn't because... you know, he's God with a capital G.
Meh, that would make it fun to see the reactions but I don't really care about that right now. What I really want to know is how Celestia and Luna came to be. How would all of this affect the future?
Damn this is good, gonna bet that silver is gonna try to kill Ash in his sleep, because you know his ego and being a 'knight' of th first order, anywho look forward to next chapter which is hopefully Abit longer
10246428
I mean. For all the “enhancements” it seems implied that his form is mortal. So his body would die, it’s just be a terrifying moment of “wait, but you’re dead!”
10246046
Honestly if you go back far enough literally every pony in the timeline you go back to (if you’ve gone back far enough) is Twilight’s ancestor
10246064
Don’t stress yourself. Your health is more important than a story. Sure, it’s be great if you could write more and stuff, but not at the expense of sleep and other things.
10246109
It’s called character development. If every “asshole” character was dealt with in the way you’re suggesting then you’d run out of characters very quickly and end up with yes men. Which is boring.
Ya gotta have conflict to make a story.
10246423
While a grand reveal of “we know it’s you” would be interesting and a bit of a twist, I feel like it wouldn’t work well and would be disappointing, at least in my opinion. Especially as it detracts from his grand reveal - if it ever happens - of “I was god all along”.
In the long term it would kind of throw things out of whack. I mean, his goal right now from what I understand is to give the time travel researcher a smack on the wrist and say “no touchie the time stream”. So, to have it revealed that she was the researcher would both be odd (given she seems to be royalty or something, iirc) and would kinda throw further plans off track, because he’d have to act then bug out and either stay or make a new form. The alternate to that being to ensure they don’t tell (not that ponies would believe them, and not the kill kind of ensure) and so on and so forth.
Just wouldn’t really work imo.
10246667
True if he died, then the story would be awkward. What would the ponies around Ash think? Would Ash just leave then and create a new body? or would he be like "Eh forget it I'm using godly powers and creating Alicorns to keep ponies in check." Sure it'd be nice to see the reactions but was he does would be a massive change in the story regardless. and I have a feeling if that did happen the change would be for the worst.
Again, true. Sure it would be very staying to see that happen but then it would leave the story incomplete with nowhere to go. He could use god powers but after that everyone knows and there would be a change in all the charters and now is not the best time for that so that's a dead end. If he takes drastic measure it would change the story on a massive level that the story is not ready for. Well at least not ready until the climax or the end of the story. I mean gotta get at least some satisfaction.
Also, Ash is just being mature by not acting on him annoying him and letting it pass even tho he could destroy him.
Oh man, you know that feeling you wish you could time travel or cryo freeze yourself to find out what happens? It would be the most satisficing reveal I have ever seen on this website. This story has great potential.
Very true...
EDITMy Comment and not replies
Everyone here is waiting for that one moment. IF you've read the story you know what that moment is. Some call it the Grand Reveal, the Most Satisfying Moment, a Glorious Reveal, the Climax, or even a Splendid, Divine, Fantastical, Fabulous, or even the most Anticipated Moment. Do you know what I call it? I call it a story about my MasterPiece Library.
if you check my profile page library page you'll see not much goes on that list.
Originally this story wasn't long enough to judge it properly so I had it on my Favorites list. Now it not only goes into my Sacred Favorites List but my MasterPieces list. From what I have read, I can tell I can expect great things from this story however long it takes to get there. If I must wait 6 years for the moment. ill wait 6 god damn years for that moment.
<3 love it
10246667
Well technically, yes, it would be dull for the story to head that way but eventually someone will figure out that something is strange with that bat. And considering his goal is to admonish the time-traveling pony and save Equestria from ripping itself apart, I can't really see him keeping his identity secret to everyone considering how low thestrals appear to be on the social status totem pole. At the very least he could claim to be some divine agent or prophet of... himself.
Dawn seems to know more than she lets on. An invitation to the University just for being a rare thestral? A thestral intent on causing a scene for a time traveling incident? It'd be easier to collect as much data now. Perhaps she doesn't suspect divinity but there's probably more than a simple study on bat ponies.
10246428
I starting to lean on Mystic Dawn being our source of Equestrian princesses. Though I'm still on the fence on whether Ash is... ahem... also involved in their creation. Or at the very least, their ascension.
10246141
It puts me off because it seems like instead of standing u for himself like hecdid before, he's instead just being passive and accepting of abuse. This makes him suddenly seem unsympathetic, because if he refuses to stand up fir himself when he can do so easily without resorting to overwhelming deific power then he's willingly become a pushover that is incapable of anything. There's not even much resistance, and it doesn't seem like he's being unfazed, more like he simply is allowing himself to be abused when it serves no purpose.
It also feels extremely out of character that he woukd allow someone to constantly harass and abuse him after his previous exploits. Basically, it seemz like hes just given up without actually saying so, making it hard to believe he'll do anything later other then get stepped on.
I'm very excited for this story. There is a lot you can do with this, and you've already started world building, the creativity so far, for me anyways, is the coolest thing here, behind that is the characters themselves, but we really haven't gotten big character development yet. In other words, you're looking good so far and I bet you'll go places with this. Good luck!
10246146
Fair nuff
10246046
Yeeeeep.
...assuming she doesn't get strangled before they get to the city that is
Sleep is great and all, but we at least hope that you can get a schedule started, say updates every 1 1/2, to 2 weeks?
It's this cringy?
Yes.
Is it unreadable?
No.
Congratulations, you already past the most difficult of problems with god-like characters...
We'll see where from you are going to pull the plot out.
*applaudes*
10248316
Lol
10255525
I'm well-aware, and I'm well-aware that this term can also be used to describe the New Testament-based religion. This god is actually both "Jesus" and "the Holy Spirit" at the same time. Different "aspects", I suppose, but all the same -- same god. I use the term "Abrahamic god" to make it clear which "version" or "aspect" (or "disposition") I'm talking about... and I'm doing it because I've seen it done a number of times, and it actually works, I think.
Also, the term "Abrahamic" makes it sound more technical and adds a bit of gravitas to the mention, you know? I mean, some of the stories in the Old Testament are downright terrifying. You should feel chills at the mention of this being.
Those are the reasons I made the suggestion.
Now... Is there any reason for that tone of your comment? Other than backing belief, I mean.
Also, please do not consider this comment an invitation to discuss this, or any other religion with me. I'm firmly agnostic myself so I don't care much for them, and I don't think many here would appreciate it either. Besides, that particular lore is rife with plot holes and little discrepancies, so I feel it's hard to have a meaningful conversation about it.
10248315
Plus a moon crashing into side of the planet and maybe even the sun
Wow not a lot of comments since the last chapter.
Update! Comments! Comments! Comments! nothing... nothing... nothing... nothing... Update! Comments! Comments! Comments! Comments! nothing...
the ever-repeating cycle of comments.
10267234
Well there are many other stories so it makes sense that ponies would not be commenting in one if there is not an ongoing conversation or something new to talk about.
10256199
What tone?
I was just talking about how people have the wrong view of the new testament because of popular culture and how it is in no way less "terrifying" than the old one.
Something strange, but understandable, is how you correlate "Jesus" with "God" when the book itself makes sure to show they are not the same being and there is also no mention of "holy spirit" anywhere except in passages talking about Angels. The whole "Holy Trinity" is another wrong information people absorb because of popular culture, just like the idea of hell having different levels.
BTW I am not religious just know about the various religions because I prefer tomake my own take on things than belive what is told. From my experience most "non-believers" tend to know religion better than religious people butI get that is not true for everyone.
10264064
If they can control how the Moon and the Sun move neither celestial orb would ever crash on the planet, unless somepony did it on purpose, so that is not a possible scenario as a result of manually moving the Sun and Moon.
10247054
You just found the principal problem with stories that have "God-like" characters.
They are so powerfull that the author needs to make them passive and unfazed by everything so they can be forced into the plot.
That usually present itself on the character being unable to say "no" and "forgetting" or being "ubwilling" to use their powers to solve the situation since it would derail the plot.
It is a very overused trope and it is present in most Isekais.
10267460
Actually being god and never actually making and using a (somewhat) mortal body of he were to forget to limit his power or something similar he could easily kill everyone, I mean what do you think would happen if god himself was on earth and was attacked but didn't limit how much force or power he used,
Anyways it just makes sense also, he's old as hell since he became god
Some 5+ millennia ago would you be scared or afraid of a mortal trying to kill you while you're in a mortal body? More so when you made the body to be able to withstand a ballista or cannon to face
10267453
Hm, I distinctly remember being taught this by a priest in ground school. :/ In fact, I'm basing my entire comment on what I've been taught, and what I've read. Roman Catholic?
I suppose it doesn't matter.
10268488
I'm not saying it isn't taught like it is originally part of the religion but if you were to bother yourself with reading the bible it is not mentioned anywhere and the bible makes the point of showing Jesus and God as different entities and not one and the same.
It became part of the catholic/christian doctrine at some point in the 1800' when the church, for some reason I don't remember, needed to equate Jesus with God because the worshipers were worshiping Jesus and not God, which is a sin according to the 10 commandments, so to keep not lose the support of the public they adopted the public view.
But yeah, it doesn't matter... it is just history.
Edit: At no point this comment had the intention to be offensive or make fun of anyone, after posting I realized it could be interpreted like that after re-reading it.
10267679
That is not the point as no one ever said anything about not controlling his power.
The problem is not limiting himself but doing nothing when he could easily solve the situation or when the character acts like they are "scared" or "unable to do anything" when the reader knows they could easily solve whatever is happening.
10269354
I feel this has gotten way out of hand, considering that my original point has been "use a different word, it'll make it sound more scary". ;)
Also... as a bit of an aside, I've stopped bothering "not to be offensive". If you think about it, someone being offended by something you say tells you something about them, not you or what you said. I stopped caring that someone needs external help like a child because they don't like what I think. So yeah. :D
Very nice, I love what you're doing with this.
I did find a little typo though, at least, it looks like one.
Your old english may have been autocorrected. When referring to someone as "you" there's a few ways. Thine is for Yours, Thy is also for yours, but differently, Thou is for you as a singular, Thee is also used there, but differently.
"Art thou making a mockery of me?"
"Thine mother was a hamster and thy father smelled of elderberries."
I'm not a professional, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
10407247
That’s not old english. That’s old modern english.