Somewhere inside a tree, there was a small purple princess. This princess was curled up in her bed, quietly reading something boring. While reading this, said Princess heard the window next to her shatter, and a body hit the floor. Purple pony princess wasn't even phased.
"Hello Rainbow Dash. Why are you breaking my property now?" The purple pony princess precisely pronounced.
Y'know, someday I'm gonna get attacked, have an enemy break into my house, and I'm just going to ignore them because I assumed it's my dear destructive friend Rainbow Dash. That's really not the hallmark of a good habit forming here.
"Twilight, I need you to come quick! Scootaloo needs your help!" Rainbow Dash panted, grabbing Twilight in her forearms and lifting her up.
"What did the CMC do this time?" Twilight asked, rolling her eyes as she telekinetically moved her friend away from her, gently placing her on the ground.
"Just her! She was at my place and she broke a dish and got all terrified and started crying and.. and... Twilight I think she's getting abused!" Rainbow shouted. At that, the telekinetic aura around her broke and she grabbed Twilight, pulling her out the window. "Oh I hope she didn't wake up and start freaking out again!"
On the trip to the library Rainbow had just gotten more panicked. The little filly had clearly gone through hell, and had barely even opened up to her idol about it even after the cat got out of the bag. What secrets was her fan hiding? Could she be helped? And what could she even do? Rainbow Dash didn't know how to take care of kids! But Twilight had to know what to do to help. Twilight knew everything! She would just grab Twilight, bring her over, and everything would be alright again.
Not daring to slow down, Rainbow, with Twilight forcefully in tow, broke through the floor of her cloud home. While Twilight paused to catch her breath and shake off the impact, Rainbow dashed over to Scootaloo's still sleeping form, breathing a sigh of relief.
"RAINBOW DASH" Twilight wheezed after catching her breath. "You can't just yank me from my home and crash into yours!"
"Twilight I..." Rainbow started, carefully inspecting the slumbering filly, checking to make sure she was alright. "Earlier on, we were doing the dishes, everything was fine. Then I hear one break, and the next thing I see is her shaking and sobbing on the other side of the room." Rainbow brushed a lock of hair out of Scootaloo's face, then sat down in resignation. "After I could get her to respond, she started acting like she expected a beating, then just... broke down in my arms."
Rainbow looked over to Twilight, tearing up.
"I don't know what to do."
Twilight didn't know what surprised her more. That a filly in Ponyville, a city with almost no crime, had the telltale signs of abuse; or that Rainbow Dash, a pony all about her ego and image, was openly in tears right in front of her.
"Twilight please. I need help."
Twilight simply nodded.
Rainbow Dash breathed a sign of relief. "Now what do we do?"
Twilight chewed her lip in thought. "Well, I haven't heard of an honest foal abuse case in... well, the entire time I've been alive, but we're definitely gonna have to get Foal Protective Services involved. And I think... I think I should write Celestia for further guidance just in case. We're going to have to approach this carefully. In the meantime... I think we need to get the full story from Scootaloo. If she's getting abused at home we're going to need every scrap of information we can find to get things right."
Rainbow nodded in understanding. "So... should we wait, or should we wake her now?"
"Let's gently wake her now. The sooner we get all the facts, the sooner we can get her into a safer environment."
Rainbow took a deep breath, and gently nuzzled Scootaloo. The filly stirred, and eventually slowly opened her eyes. Upon seeing a yet unidentified pony in front of her, her eyes snapped open in panic and she tried backing away, only to be stopped by the back of the couch. A moment later the panic faded as she recognized Rainbow Dash.
"R-Rainbow Dash?" She started, looking around and spotting Twilight as well. "Princess Twilight? what's going on?"
With a heavy sigh, Rainbow stepped up onto the couch and sat next to the nervous pegasus. "Scootaloo. We know things aren't going well at home, and we're here to change things. But first, we need you to tell us what's going on."
Scootaloo swallowed hard. "Nothing's going on. Everything is... everything is fine. I just uh, I didn't sleep well last night, so when I broke that plate my mind wasn't working well, and... and then-" Scootaloo looked around frantically, desperately searching for a way to change the topic. "Oh speaking of which I should probably go clean that up. Can't just leave that laying around, somebody might get hurt!" She was stopped by a cyan hoof.
"Scootaloo, please." Rainbow started. "I know something is wrong. Please just let me help you. I promise, nobody is going to hurt you anymore. I don't know what your parents have done to you, but we need to know your story if we're going to be able to help." Rainbow couldn't help but notice Scootaloo flinch when she heard "parents".
"I... I can't" Scootaloo turned to face the floor. "If I say anything he'll find me again. And then it'll just make things worse!"
Rainbow Dash looked desperately at Twilight, who decided to try and press the pegasus further.
"Scootaloo, dear..." Twilight began. "I can get you out of that home and into somewhere safe, but first we have to have your side of the tale. Nobody can hurt you anymore, Dash and I will make sure of it."
Scootaloo started tearing up again. Quickly wiping them away, she stared hard at Twilight. "Then he'll find you two and hurt you both. I can't live with that. Please, don't make me talk."
"Scootaloo..." Rainbow started, gently turning the filly's head with a hoof to look at her. "I would go head to head with a manticore, an ursa, or hay, even Celestia herself to protect you. Come what may, as long as you're under this roof, you're the safest pony in Equestria."
"Don't worry about us." Twilight chipped in. "You're among capable hooves. Now please, just tell us what's wrong."
There was a tense silence. If Scootaloo's eyes weren't open, one could assume she fell asleep sitting. Finally, after Rainbow Dash was about to lose hope that she would open up at all, Scootaloo finally spoke.
"Fine." She sniffed. "It all started the first time I ran away from home."
Well, I think it's fine, I especially like the alliteration you did with "purple pony princess" at first. If I had to say something, maybe that Rainbow pushing Twilight out like that is a bit out of character, but honestly it's something I could see her doing. But I still enjoyed this chapter.
10201844
Wow. You're fast.
But thanks for the feedback. I'll probably give this another look over tomorrow and see about maybe changing it.
10201846
No problem. As for why I responded so quickly, I put all incomplete stories on one of my two Tracking lists, so I get a notification when there's an unread chapter. I'm also a fast reader.
10201851
Well, I mean that's sound logic right there.
10201853
Thanks
The chapter seems fine enough to me. Though I think it would be hard not to notice if her ribs were showing before yesterday.
10202143
Yeah that's kinda an off plot point. I figured if it was pretty much anybody else, they'd have noticed earlier, but with Rainbow, she was really only hanging with Scoots for flight lessons, so she probably wouldn't pay too much attention to that.
10202612 But wouldn't somepony else notice? Like maybe Cheerilee?
10202645
You know, I honestly didn't even consider Cheerilee
I think I'll give the story another read and maybe edit that out because that's a really good argument.
Exposition inbound.
This is a good chapter even if it's short. Just a little light-heartedness to balance what we just got and what's coming. It also shows these established characters in these new settings reacting to this kind of new information in ways I think are realistic.
One little nitpick:
"...I don't know what your parents have done have done to you,..."
Don't know if you just repeated a word or if she's supposed to be stumbling over her words there. Other then that, great so far and this sort of story isn't even usually my kind of genre.
10276173
How in the hell did I miss that little bit? I've read this chapter plenty of times over.
But I appreciate all your kind words! This story was my first attempt at writing again since 2014 and I'm pretty decently happy with how it turned out.
I didn't think it was weak .
10351517
Thanks!
It's good. Amazing.
I'm not sure, if you're still interested about my thoughts on this chapter but I think the main problem is that noone ever stops.
Rainbow doesn't stop thinking that she might be wrong.
Twilight doesn't stop to question if Rainbow might be wrong.
Twilight doesn't stop jumping to conclusions when one of her most jumpy and least even tempered friend made an assessment about a situation based on one occurrence.
Twilight doesn't stop to think if it's better to weak up an allegedly traumatised child in the middle of the night.
Neither Rainbow or Twilight pussyfoots around when they ask Scoot if she is traumatised, even though admittedly neither of them knows what on earth they are doing.
Scoots doesn't try to stop Rainbow and Twilight to pry into her deepest darkest secret.
Yes, we know what this story is going to be about. You won't surprise us, but that doesn't mean we don't want to see the journey. This chapter was supposed to be one of the more emotional scenes of the movies and you rushed us through it like it was nothing.
This chapter felt like as if it was the portal scene from Endgame except it was on triple speed and the background score was the Entry of the Gladiators instead of Alan Silvestri's masterpiece.