• Member Since 19th Aug, 2023
  • offline last seen 12 minutes ago

Dragonfan101


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Things have been going fine every since Twilight became a princess and Equestria was saved once again, but while everyone's been happy after saving they're home, something's strange has been happening with Spike.
Spike's been having strange visions as of lately, he's been finding himself facing against strange monsters of darkness, and has been traveling far from Equestria, like.. he doesn't know if they're real.. or not. But one day after Spike has another strange dream, Spike is attacked by creatures of darkness in the forest when he's alone, but before he could be harmed, two strange weapons appear in his hands, something that gives him incredible strength.

Not too long after he defeats them, he finds a strange portal that has appeared in the forest, despite his worry's about all that he's been thinking about, Spike's curiosity gets to him, and he not only walks through it, but vanishes from Equestria entirely. When Spike awakens, he finds himself in another world called Travers Town, and he soon meets a young boy named Sora who's lost his home and his friends have gone missing. They soon meet two other people named Donald and Goofy, with they're weapons in hand, they all team up to find Donald and Goofy's missing king, stop these creatures called Heartless from spreading, and hopefully find a way for Spike to return home.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 29 )

Sweet first chapter here & I loved Spike's choices regarding his path! Using Garble for the 3 question bit was clever as well! :moustache:

Looking forward to see Spike stepping though this adventure in the next chapter! :twilightsmile:

Pretty awesome.
And surprised Garble was there in Spike's Dive To The Heart dream there.

Curious to see how awesome this will get.

Seeing that Birth By Sleep is gonna be skipped, wonder how Spike is gonna encounter much of the Unversed?
Since sadly there's so few in KH3(which is quite a shame. Same with the Nobodies)

awesome start mate keep it up can't wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Hell yeah! Power of the Guardian fits Spike. Was surprised he gave up the power of the Warrior. But it works. Also a balanced Midday departure. Not to easy but not to hard. Perfect for him

Loving how you're setting up the start to Spike's journey here, especially with Celestia/Luna starting to notice not only worlds going out by darkness but also Luna's unable to see into Spike's dreams! :moustache:

Countdown's started, looking forward to the next chapter Dragonfan! :twilightsmile:

I wonder if Spike will get a custom keyblade.

This will be epic!!!

Is Spike going to get his own custom keyblade or he's going to get a keyblade from the games. If you do video game give him a pre-order Keyblade they're basic keyblade but recolor or a different type of keyblade.

Recolors pre-order:
Phantom Green (Xbox)
Dawn Till Dusk (Amazon)
Midnight Blue (PS5)
Advent Red (Nintendo switch)
Elemental Encoder (epic game launcher)
Dead of Night (steam)

Spike learned a lot from Twilight, magic isn't that strange! He also played Dungeons and Discords with Big McIntosh and Discord! He was a magician then too!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I think that the keyblade should be called Ruby's Flare

And with that Spike's finally off toward adventure, huzzah!!!:moustache:

If Sora thought Donard/Goofy were strange when he first met them I can't imagine what his reaction's gonna be when he comes across a small purple talking dragon! :twilightoops::twilightsheepish:

Awesome he can duel-wield Keyblades.
Curious on what Keyblade transformations can happen.

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Glad you guys are liking this story so far! I know there could've been more to the opening, but I was wanting to get stuff moving, and it helped match into my story description too, I'll cut back to Equestria from time to time, while also putting in a new original character to help further along the story. Also to whoever is disliking my other friends comments, please stop doing that please? They're just fun comments to express they're thoughts and I don't see a reason to do that, please and thank you.

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It's just a stupid dumb troll that does that on Spike stories comments from time to time Dragonfan, pay him no mind! :ajsmug:
Will probably dislike this comment as well calling him out! :rainbowkiss:

11939768
Sounds like a unhappy camper and that is not good. Loved the chapter and Spike getting two Keyblades.

Comment posted by Glennmanangan5 deleted Sunday

Would you mind if I proofread your story? I like the idea, but I'm seeing a lot of errors.

going by the only other examples of dual wielding Keybarers, Roxas and Sora, this could imply something similar about Spike. not sure if you're planning it or just going by a 'rule of cool' angle. we'll have to wait and see.

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You can send me a PM to let me know the errors I've made, I'm gonna redo the description of the story so it's shorter and easier to pick up, simply saying of what dreams Spike's been having, and how it's made him think things he never would've before, then it would go to the attack in the forest, and Spike vanishing from Equestria which would set up his journey, but please, if you've noticed anything, please send it to me in a PM

One question. Are you doing the original or remix version?

And our 2 keyweilding heroes finally meet! Really loving their banter & fighting combos against the big armored guy in Traverse Town, now I'm looking forward to the next world while developing their friendship! :moustache:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

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I was asked a similar question about this in my blog for this story, and the answer is that there really isn't much of a difference to them, the original and remix versions mainly just consist of a few new cutscenes and enemy reskins as well as revamped bosses which don't really add much story wise, it's like when people asked me about my Spyro story, they're the same game, just extra content and enhanced visuals, there really wouldn't be much of a difference for them.

Ok, a few things I want to say here.

1. I have been reading your stories for a bit now and I have to say that you already have great stories on your page, very impressive (If not a little jealous), but some things are kind of striking out to me, no blame pressed on you it's just rookie mistakes (This coming from someone who is a rookie also but to each their own) like when you are writing the conversations, try not to put them all to combine them like:

After that fight with the monster, the two people Spike and Sora met tried explaining to them on why they're here. And they were apparently looking for them both.
"So.. you were looking for us?" Sora sked curiously which they both nodded in response from.
"They too were seeking the wielders of the Keyblade." Leon answered as he and Yuffie met up with them after the fight too.
"So.. you both traveled to this world to find us?" Spike asked making sure it was clear.
"Yeah, why don't you both come with us? We can go to all kind of worlds on our vessel!" Goofy offered which sounded really interesting to hear.
"I.. wonder if I can find Riku and Kairi.." Sora replied with worry for them.
"Of course!" Donald answered positively which surprised Sora a bit.

I've been told in the first chapter of my own story that large paragraphs like these end up being too much on a run on words so the conversation feels a bit cluttered, instead try like this:

After that fight with the monster, the two people Spike and Sora met tried explaining to them on why they're here. And they were apparently looking for them both.

"So.. you were looking for us?" Sora sked curiously which they both nodded in response from.

"They too were seeking the wielders of the Keyblade." Leon answered as he and Yuffie met up with them after the fight too.

"So.. you both traveled to this world to find us?" Spike asked making sure it was clear.

"Yeah, why don't you both come with us? We can go to all kind of worlds on our vessel!" Goofy offered which sounded really interesting to hear.

"I.. wonder if I can find Riku and Kairi.." Sora replied with worry for them.

"Of course!" Donald answered positively which surprised Sora a bit.

Spaces are a really wonderful thing that can make these kind of conversations easier to ingest.


2. Some of the paragraphs are kind of redundant. They aren't any in this chapter but in the pervious chapter is kind of uncanny with how much Spike questions "is it all real...or not." it the actual story and in conversation itself just leans at the redundant side and that can take you out immersion even if that quote is the main crux of Kingdom Hearts, still there is a reason that quote is only introduced once and at the beginning, so the story itself can exemplify that without pointing to it every few minutes, that's why the introduction of the source is so powerful.

There a still things that still bug that little tick in the back of my head but that can stay there for now.


3. None of these things you have to do or even take too seriously, hell you don't even have to read my stuff. This is just some bit of optional advice coming from a guy who probably cares about stories to much. Man you could just be writing this because it's fun bit of pass time while this is part of me and I do everything I can to make it improve from some great pieces of stories on this site that I can only hope to live up to so please don't take this as "You're stories BADDD!!!" things but I want to help anyway I can, we're all on this site together.


3.5. I am really interested in this story with Spike, There used to be another story like this from a friend of mine but I think he wanted to do more so he just decided to delete it, anyway I'm still a little giddy to watch this playout, it is great so far like your Ninja Turtles and Ninjago stories. I love the premise of Spike's love interest and him being a father, so I hope either of those happen in here. So once again, always looking out for Spike writers everywhere, hope you have a great day.

This was awesome!! This will be a amazing adventure~

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Thanks for the advise! Part of the reason I do this is because of how long each chapter will be, and for this story, my chapters will be very long, probably around 10k words or so for some worlds, but I really appreciate the advise, I'll be sure to take it in for future story's at some point!

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