Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
“Oh Fluttershy...” Rainbow Dash held her breath, swinging two levers in alternating thrusts as more and more yelping canines flew from the B-Cube's punishing lunge. “Wherever you are, whatever you may or may not be doing to Big Macintosh's freckled flesh, I do hope you forgive me for all of this.”
A throng of dogs charged at Rainbow Dash's left side. She spun the turret around in a three-hundred-and-sixty degree swath, knocking a dozen brutes across the room all at once. They flew into an array of steam pipes, popping the sockets loose and spilling fog across half of the chamber.
“Haaah! Hahaha...” Rainbow giggled devilishly. “Okay, everything except for that, Fluttershy. That was kinda awesome.”
“Uhhh...” Lancie popped out of her saddlebag and spoke beneath the rattle of the claustrophobic piloting chamber. “Who is this deity to whom you are speaking and do I have to pay tithe to participate myself?”
“Oh, she's no goddess, even though she's got the mane of one—Whoa boy!” Rainbow Dash flinched, spotting a pair of dogs on a catwalk above, tossing bombs down at her. She swung the drill bit of the B-Cubed, smacking the explosives back. The dogs shrieked and jumped in opposite directions. The catwalk exploded, raining metal and chunks of rock down onto the track ahead of the vehicle. The golden craft simply rolled over the debris, crunching it to shillings and dust. “Hah! Okay, a mare could get used to this...”
“I do believe I was wrong about you,” Lancie said with a smirk as more and more canines howled in terror around their rampaging vehicle. “Maybe you are a true creature of chaos.”
“Pffft. This isn't chaos.” Rainbow shrugged as she jerked more at the controls. “This is... 'cruising assertively.'”
She punched a button.
The drill shot out of one of the turret's arms and exploded a patch of burning barrels, sending more dogs sprawling painfully across the floor.
Lancie squinted at Rainbow while she gulped. “Really... really assertively,” she said with a cracking voice.
“I think we both know that these smelly underlings religiously deserved this,” Lancie said, leaning back casually on crossed arms. “Let's leave it at that, huh?”
“Yeah, sure.” Rainbow Dash nodded, then looked ahead. “Oh, look. A wall.”
SMASSSSSSSH! There was a wall. Now, there was a crumbling chunk of battered rocks and pebbles.
“Whoah-ho-ho-ho!” Rainbow Dash jolted back and forth, breathless. “That was awesome! Can I do that again?” She swung the drill forward and repeated the previous motions. SMASSSH! The wall gave in a bit more. “Killer! I totally can do that again!”
“Uhm... what exactly is the doing that you have committed again?”
“Just what this crazy thing was built for, I bet,” Rainbow shouted above the noise and screams. “Just call me the Tunnel Maker 3000.”
“Uhm. No.”
“Suit yourself.” Rainbow Dash shoved every lever that she could see forward. “Screw you, earth!”
CRUNNNNCH! The B-Cubed effortlessly bore its way into the wall, smashing from one large cavern into another. Catwalks, partitions, steam pipes, and a boundless array of canine living quarters collapsed all in one go. Within seconds, the big golden tank was plowing its way through chamber after chamber, driving a huge gash through the heart of the canine city.
“Hah!” Rainbow Dash sputtered through the dust as it bled into the rattling pilot's chamber. “Bet I could drill all the way to Tartarus if I wanted to!”
“Hey!” Lancie snapped.
“Heh... just kidding, dude. Hey, can you see Iron Will from here?”
“Uhhhh...” Lancie perched atop her mane and squinted through the porous webbed cage. “Is it the big blue lump that's covered all over with dust and sand?”
“Yeah, but is that lump still breathing?”
“Looks like it from here.”
“Cool beans!” Rainbow Dash held her breath and jerked the controls again. “Onward with the smashing!”
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Yeah, but does it have GPS?
4438555
Options are extra.
4438778
You get a gold-plated vehicle and you sorta expected it to come with all the features. This is why Detrot has gone to hell.
4438797
It already came with a hood ornament and a drill. Other options are extra!
4438840
Well, maybe next time Rainbow oughta get a Neighssan or a Volvoats. They probably get better claw-mileage anyway.
*z-snaps*
Sweeeeeet!!!! :)
Don't get me wrong, this part has been really funny, but I hope the rest of the shards don't take as long as this one. More Appledash action!
There's a special level of Tartarus for people who make puns like you folk.
It's full of demons who beat the damned with thesauruses.
4441242 yeah this shard is taking kinda long