Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Thwap!
Listing Breeze layed out a multi-colored sheet of paper across the floor of her carriage.
"This..." She pointed. "...is a map of the Hump Gang's town."
Rainbow blinked across the shadows. "... ... ...that's a coupon sheet for Burger Colt."
"Look harder." Listing gestured. "I drew the outline of their compound over it."
"With what, red ink?"
"Anyways, the first task will be—"
"All fast food joints use the colors yellow, orange, and red, don't you know that?!"
"Dammit, Booger—"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Then stop delaying my explanations!"
"Don't draw red-on-red and I just might consider that!"
Listing sigggggggghed, then resumed her briefing: "They have a barbed wire fence surrounding the compound... but it has a weak point here." She pointed. "Along the southwest. At precisely seven-thirty pm, the sun will have set in such a way that shadows from the tallest building will be cast over the weak point in the fence."
"So, you're planning to sneak your way in under the cover of early evening," Rainbow said.
"The hole between the floor and the fence is too small for the likes of me, Rainbow."
Rainbow blinked.
Listing stared at her.
Rainbow grimaced. "Me. You're expecting me to shimmy on through."
"You always did like a good squeeze."
"Ugh... can we not?"
"Believe it or not, this plan isn't all you." Listing pointed at the east end of the crudely-drawn compound. "I plan on entering through the front to distract the Hump Gang."
"Wait..." Rainbow squinted. "Aren't they super merry-go-round pissed at you? What makes you think that they won't shoot you on sight?"
"I'm charmed that you care so much about me for once."
"Listing."
"Alright." The larger mare cleared her throat. "I'm going to be presenting gifts."
"Gifts?"
"A bunch of weapons that I... er... borrowed from a caravan a month or two ago."
"Don't tell me there's a fifth gang getting caught up in all this..."
"Don't worry. I've got my flank covered in that department."
"You sure?"
"Totally." Listing continued. "I'll put on my charm... convince the Hump Gang that this is a business offering from the Desert Hounds. By normal Hump Gang procedure, they'll let me into the main building of the compound to collect the weapons and talk business. This should allow for a breach in their security... which will then get you a chance to sneak even deeper inside their compound... where you can find the stash of money I owe to the buffalo. I'll be doing my best occupying the Hump Gang's attention, so you should have plenty of time to make off with the bits and leave. I'll join you back at the junkyard past nightfall."
"Alright..." Rainbow nodded. "Sounds simple enough." She looked up at Listing. "And just where can I find the money hidden? Upstairs in the main building's act?"
"No." Listing turned the paper upside down, displaying an even larger sketch done in red ink. "Underground, inside the Hump Gang's secret vault."
"Unnnnnngh..." Rainbow pulled at her facial muscles, collapsing. "You've got to be bucking kidding me!"
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Have it your way was the slogan for Burger King.
Would you rather sneak into Starkiss?
Poor Rainbow. The heist just keeps getting more and more complicated.
...you know, the banter between these two is actually pretty good.
Also, Dash did need a distraction. And this is doing a better job than anything Las Pegasus had to offer.
...Does this mare have any plans that don't involve high risks/another stupid gang?
She writes in red ink... on something that uses red ink. Listing is a bucking genius!
How convenient. Listing, did you set this all up to charm Dash with adventure? It shouldn't be working. But it is, argh.
I thought it was plain physical and verbal abuse that we were hinted about, not regret over bsdm.
Either way, Dash seems lobotomized. I couldn't relate less.
If Austraeoh!Dash can do it, you can do it too, Rainbow. Even without ghost Rarity and Twilight and the Desperadoes.
This definitely won't go horribly wrong!
Wait, are you planning a heist here, or planning to go treasure-hunting in the Lost Temple of the Crystal Horseshoe?