Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
"Say, uh, Vinyl?"
"Yes, Bon Bon?"
"Uhhhh..." The mare flipped a flier over in her grasp, squinting at its partially unfolded contents. "I'm looking over this pamphlet concerning the hotel that we're staying at."
"Uh huh..."
The coach jostled as the train carried them along.
Bon Bon blinked, her eyes traveling up and down the colorful page and its pictures. "Where was this 'All You Can Eat Cupcake Buffet' that you spoke of?"
"That's a VIP Only Access thing," Vinyl calmly explained, writing notes down on the corner of a sheet of paper. "It's not for the general public, so you won't see it advertised."
"Oh." Bon Bon's muzzle scrunched. "Are we VIP ponies?"
"Of course, numb-butts," Lyra droned. "Vinyl's taking us backstage, isn't she?"
"Ahem." Vinyl cleared her throat, flipping to another sheet. "Lyra's on point, for once."
"Cool!" Caramel grinned. "Who doesn't love cupcakes?"
"Yeah, but I wonder if that clashes with the Dry Gulch Ghost Tour that's scheduled for the same morning..." Bon Bon muttered, turning the pamphlet over.
"Holy crab shells, Bon-Squared." Lyra made an angry face. "We're going to Las Pegasus to show Rainbow Dash a good time! Not go on boring-ass ghost tours. What's gotten into you?"
"But they visit the last known whereabouts of the Buck Cassidy and the Sundance Colt!" Bon Bon grinned. "What's more awesome than a bunch a dead ghost robbers with guns?"
"How about ghost robbers with ghost guns?" Caramel giggled.
Rainbow Dash merely stared out the window. Her eyes followed the countryside as she pressed her chin to her fetlock. Fuzzy blue ears twitched.
"Stick to the main features of the hotel, Bon Bon," Lyra grumbled. "We're only here for a few days. So let's stick to where the lights, lace, and liquid courage are most religiously concentrated."
"Pffft! As if Rainbow's gonna spend the entire time gambling at the casino."
"Why not?" Lyra smirked. "She's gambled with her sanity all these months."
"Har har..." Rainbow grumbled.
"Maybe they have a show that's more to her speed?" Caramel asked. "Like... something with tiger taming... or a monster stagecoach rally!"
"Hmmmm..." Bon Bon tapped her chin as she read down the list. "Searching through the events once more. Let's see... Pony and Teller... goddess, no..." Her eyes darted. "Bonfire Desert Bingo... Manehattan Masquerade Ball... blah blah blah... oh what's this? The Princess Experience?"
"OooOooOooOooh!" Caramel leaned forward, eyes sparkling. "For realsies?"
"Oh. My bad." Bon Bon tittered. "That's the Pirate Recess Expo, for foals. I read it wrong."
"Awwwwwwww..." Caramel slumped back, frowning. "Don't yank my string like that."
"Somepony has to," Vinyl droned.
"Dammit..." Lyra snatched the pamphlet from Bon Bon's grasp. "Gimme that!"
"Hmmph!" Bon Bon folded her forelimbs. "'Thank you most kindly, Bon Bon.' 'You're welcome, Lyra.' 'Aren't we the best of friends, Bon Bon?'"
"'My teats need more suckling, Lyraaaaaaaa,'" Lyra yodeled while perusing the pamphlet. "Yeesh, who designed this crap? A dyslexic hydra?"
"Worse," Vinyl said. "Young ponies fresh out of art school."
"Ah!" Lyra slapped the sheet with her hoof. "There you have it! Seriously, Bon Bon, are you blind?"
"I'd trade it just to be deaf right now."
"Lookie here!" Lyra held the pamphlet out to Rainbow Dash. "Live at the Las Pegasus Desert Stadium! Total Neighing Action Wrestling! You get to have a bunch of meatheads bash each other's brains out in a square circle for your amusement!"
"Meh," Rainbow uttered.
"Come onnnnnnnn... this totally up your alley!" Lyra grinned devilishly. "Total Neighing Action is... like... where's it at! They've got the Sandmane performing two nights from now! Now who doesn't like the Sandmane?"
"Actually, Lyra," Caramel spoke. "The Sandmane is Extreme Championship Whinnying."
Lyra gawked at the stallion. "How in Equestria do you know that?"
"Hmmmm..." Caramel sighed daintily, his ears drooping. "I'm no more proud of the fact than you are."
"Anyways, Rainbow, there's gotta be chairshots for sure." Lyra smirked. "So, whaddya say?"
Silence. And then:
"Meh."
Lyra tossed the pamphlet. "Whelp, I tried." She folded her forelimbs and sat back beside Bon Bon. "How about we tie her down to the railroad tracks so we can give her fragile skull a real vacation on the return trip?"
"Now now, Lyra..." Bon Bon waved a hoof. "If this is Rainbow Dash's chance to relax and enjoy herself, then she should do so on her own time! We can't dictate her itinerary to her." Bon Bon smiled at the pegasus. "How about it, Rainbow? What would you most like to do for the entirety of our stay over in Las Pegasus?"
"Mrmmfff... do we get separate bedrooms?"
Vinyl looked up. "Uhhh. Yeah. That's part of the ticket. For sure."
Rainbow closed her eyes with a sigh. "A nice... long sleep would be nifty."
Bon Bon blinked. "..." She glanced aside. "You know, Lyra, I think I'm starting to warm up to your 'tying-to-the-railroad-tracks-idea.'"
"Mrmmmff... everypony hates a copycat."
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"'My teats need more suckling, Lyraaaaaaaa,'"
Wow, there's no going back from that!
Disney theme park reference.
"Yeesh, who designed this crap? A dyslexic hydra?"
How do they put up with Lyra while they're sober.
Seriously.
wait.. wrestling... oh noooo.. the return of Iron Will?
Is that what we're getting now? Remnants of Rainbow's adventures with Lancie coming back?
Will she also run into Photo Finish while she's there?
7019760 It's simple: Design it on a transparency sheet. Place a honeycomb array of x kaleidoscopes above the sheet, but below the overhead projector lamp. Rotate half of them, selected randomly. Capture the projected image. Print it. Add words words words and pricing info. Profit!
OH GODDESS NO!
Damnit Dash, you're on your way to the (presumably) entertainment capital of Equestria. Courtesy of a bunch of ponies you routinely meet once a month to vent your problems on. At least try to have a bit of gratitude or enthusiasm.
What about the stage magicians, Sigmund and Freud?
7019913 YES! I'm not alone
As a wrestling fan I enjoyed the references. RIP Extreme Championship Whinnying
Going on vacation to a super fun, wild, entertaining place and all Rainbow wants to do is sleep.
And now we just wait for everything to go hilariously wrong...
Bon Bon shouldn't be surprised Rainbow would want to recover from her hangover first, I know I wouldn't be all gung-ho with the hangover Rainbow must have still.
That said, always great to see the B team's conversations there's a nice dynamic between all of them.
7019698
That's what best friends do, right?
7019783
The same way any group puts up with the weird one, they're used to it by now.
Having those other characters come back would be a nice way to bring this all full circle. Especially Lancie.
7020712 Or stupidly right...
No, never mind, you're right.
~ADG
I'm starting to think that Dash's favorite word, other than 'awesome' and 'cider', is 'meh'.
Rainbow Dash has been the worst character of the last hundred or so chapters. Fluttershy, Trixie, Epcot, and the drinking buddies are where it's at.
7078972 when you think about it though she kinda has to be. i mean right now she's the main protagonist and the main antagonist
Caramel is a great candidate for Best Princess.
VIP Ponies sounds like RAS Syndrome.
There is a dead human in our house!
All this kinda hits a little too close to home for me. Reminds me of some not-good times. That's why I need to keep binging chapters until the situation improves or else I'll be walking around with this raincloud over my head...
AppleDashery: Come for the romance stay for the ghost fight with ponified Butch Cassidy.
I mean... Given what else this story has done, it wouldn't surprise me, and believe me, I ain't complaining!