WTFIWWY-Let Them Fight · 7:02am April 8th
This week the life lessons we learned:
-Don't be in a troupe of monkeys in Thailand and get into a fight with another troupe of monkeys. Apparently the police will arrest you. Which just begs the questions: Is there monkey jail? Are there monkey lawyers? Are there monkey courts and judges?
-Don't drive drunk and high. Especially don't do so when driving one of those big-ass package trucks, not only will you get arrested, but you will also get fired. Drugs and alcohol are bad, mm-kay.
-Don't sell drugs. Drugs are bad, mm-kay. If you do, don't post pictures of them in your cinema room that is Scarface-themed.
-Don't impersonate the fire department. If you're at a fire impersonating a fire fighter and the fire department tells you to leave and you refuse to do so, they will arrest you, the police, not the fire fighters. Also, a garden hose is not proper fire fighting gear. Also also, I never thought I would hear the phrase "impersonating a fire fighter" in a sentence that wasn't in a Naked Gun-esque movie. Bro totally let his inner five year old win.
-If you're a landlord and you're pissed off at your renters because they broke a major appliance, maybe go about the process of evicting them, don't try to get them out by starting a fire in their apartment. That's called arson and it's a very serious crime.
-Don't steal a front loader, the police might not be able to stop you, but they might just call someone else with a front loader to joust you and when the other front loader operator flips your stolen front loader over, the police will drag you out and arrest you. Also, front loader jousting has to be one of the best phrases in the English language. My inner ten year old is jumping for joy.
