Author's note: This chapter is crucial to the development of the plot, but the bulk of it is just one giant rant, with more than enough choice language to share with your friends. You've been warned...sorta.
Right from the get-go, I'm already pushing my logic and reason to the limits, which in turn forces me to literally think out loud, as my mind itself is already in overdrive.
"This...is not good." I say I start pacing, every now and then sitting down at the desk, but staying seated when I near the end of my rant.
To most ponies, it would look like I'm paranoid to the point of insanity; however, I know that this is simply just my brain at 100%: pairing together countless different possible series' of events, let alone the different outcomes for each one, as well as what effect one action would have in this way, this way. and that way, and how a different action would affect those same 'ways', using probability to predict a course of action, possible reasons for and against each possible action, possible motives for each action already taken, AND having to do all of that and more for each of the six mares involved!
If you'd like an example of this 'orgy of logic', just look at the sentence above!
This is simply a mess, by several definitions of the word!
"First off, how the fuck does this even start? I wake up, and all six of them already have a readily-developed crush on me? Considering, they were informed all about me, 'all' being verbatim, but surely that isn't sufficient enough for a crush? Especially the lascivious look that Rainbow gave me, AND I HADN'T EVEN TAKEN MY FIRST STEP YET!
"Not to mention that Roy Orbison growl! Hell, he's famous for that for when he did it in his song 'Pretty Woman', which is about wooing an attractive woman, which is obvious due to the name of the song, though under my circumstances the gender roles would be reversed.
"Then another possibility: is the connotation of the word itself different? I'm certain that the definition is the same, but perhaps the magnitude is significantly lowe -- no! That doesn't work!
"And again, how is it mathematically probable for all six to have such an immense crush on me?! Rarity always has her fancy on royals, which is no comparison to me, who just got here around...brunch? I would think?
"Rainbow Dash is by far more on the Wonderbolts than on anything else. Wait! She's even been single her entire damn life! Why was she the lascivious one?! What it just sarcasm? Did she really want to fuck me? Or was she simply fucking with me?! Or was I simply mindfucked still from the process of fading...in? From whatever location it was I was with Celestia, assuming that was a location at all?!
"Moving on, Fluttershy has that suffix in her name for a reason! She's shy! To say that having an immense crush on somepony she's never even met before would be uncharacteristic of her would be blasphemous at how much of an understatement that is!
"Furthermore...oh for FUCK'S sake, I don't know where to begin to think in regard to Pinkie Pie! She's much too happy-go-lucky and care free to get seriously involved with a huge crush! Let alone with the same circumstances applied the other five! In all of Equestria, Pinkie Pie would likely be one of the last ponies I would ever expect to be serious with romance at all! Not that that's a bad thing, if not the contrary! As much as I hate envy as a whole, Pinkie Pie's attitude toward the fun in life is one that I can not resist to envy! She's to busy laughing in the face of reality itself to be concerned with much of the seriousness attributed to romance! Huh...laughing in the face of reality itself...how fitting.
"But then there's STILL Twilight! She's one of the nicest ponies one could dream of meeting, but she's so damn dedicated to her studies that she's made herself to damn anti-social! And even if she were to be serious about a crush, such serious romance is too complex to rely solely on books, as without experience books won't teach you jack SHIT!"
"WHAT! THE! FUCK! IS! GO! ING! ON!"
I slam my head on the desk as I say each syllable of that last sentence, and leave it laying there after I'm done. For some odd reason, that has always been the only kill-switch to my 'logic-rants', but though it -- obviously -- does hurt, the longterm consequences pale in comparison to what it would be like otherwise -- I would have been killed several times over already by strokes alone! And...speaking of alone, I now realize that I wasn't. Without even lifting my head, I open an eye and see all six of the aforementioned mares standing just inside the doorway, mouths agape. I still don't honestly know why I even bothered to ask my next question.
"How much did you hear?" I ask in a monotone.
With a sigh, I'm given my response: "How much do you think?"
With one last slam of my head on the desk, I utter one final word.
"Fuck."
Well... this is awkward.
Glad we got all that out in the open though. Now prepare yourself for whatever may come your way knowing that you have said all that you had to say on this point.
(FYI sometimes i like to leave comments like this one where i just summarize either a characters thoughts or my own when something i feel noteworthy for a comment happens.)
221540
If you think about it, though, it could be considered a good thing; the Mane Six all heard his all-out view on the issue first...hoof, and he's saved the much more awkward trouble of having to tell each of them individually; actually, he doesn't need to tell them at all.
221551
Agreed, but if I know what I want to type -- and when I do it's nearly word-for-word -- I'm going to type it. And at this point, the chapters end and start in fitting places, so...-shrugs-. Otherwise, yes, that would be preferable.
Woooaaahhh, wall of text!
Well, it wouldn't be so bad, but it's just that red is such a hard color to read
221659
Yeaaaaaahhhhh......sorrrrry.
221665 It's cool, just that red and blue. Always f***ing get to me, they melt together and it's hard to read!
Otherwise, pleasant part and hope for more.
I don't understand why or how>>221680 . I read them just fine and dandy
Good chapter and I think this will be...... Awkward to say the least
221859 Possibly bad eyes, my family is colorblind. I might have a small bit of it.
221925
I'm sorry for it.
222019 Lol, I find it funny when people feel bad over nothing,
222022
Its just my nature to feel sorry.. For others, I could be bleeding and don't care much (just be carefully with the cut, that all).
221925
Which members of your family? Because I know from genetics that if your mom is then both of her parents are, too. (the trait for color-blindness is on the X chromosome, so guys only need to have it on their one X chromosome in order to get it, whereas women need it on Both of theirs)...well, crap, there goes my IQ talking again...my damn IQ is such a smartass. =/
222280 Haha, no worries. Actually my mom and dad have both it. I suppose I got semi lucky with the genetics, unlike my brother :P
222298
-thinks- Um...I'm sorry to say, but...that's not genetically possible, regardless of your gender. Also, color-blindness is one of those 'you either have it or you don't' traits, so you can't sorta have it. I hate to say it but based on the genetics - if the information you've given me is correct - you...might be adopted.
Dign ding ding. We have a winner.
But what you say is not entirely true, my 'brother' cannot distinguish yellow and green well.
My 'father' cannot distinguish between purple and red very well.
Red and blue melt into one blur if i stare at them too long.
222358
Ah. Different types. Forgot. However...by far the most common type is red-green colorblindness...and for each type, it varies on shade. For example, I once had a classmate who was red-green colorblind, and he could see both red and pink, but he couldnt see magenta. :shrugs:
222397 Yes. I don't quite know about my case, seeing as I'm not a doctor nor did I do intensive study on the subject.
All I know is what my limitations are and what I have trouble seeing.
About the normal color-blindness... *shrugs along with you*
222422
So...pretty much 'fuck it' then? xD
222507 I suppose. But for what it's worth, I really did enjoy the story.
Egadz! Um...maybe, next time could we not have the wall of rainbow text. I personally prefer the traditional black and white (usually makes it easier to read) =/ I mean red's ok but it can be a little strong, but when you bring in the other colors as well (especially the ones with lighter hues) it can get real challenging to read as the lighter colors tend to merge into the background. But I like the story a lot! I can't wait to see where you go with this.
I retract my previous statement about your OC being a Gary Stu... for now.
You're talking this in an interesting direction, and I don't mean that in a bad way. A little bit of the OC's dialogue in this was awkward, you might want to give this chapter the ol' once over again. Other than that, good work so far.
221659
Red's not so bad when you turn the page to high contrast mode, it only stings the eyes juuuust a liiiitle. /end humor
Good story so far. I'm enjoying at the least and that's what's important!
223665
If you mean changing the top-right drop-down from white to black, that's what the notice at the top of the first page says to do!
223694
Oh I just ignored that because that's my default. I prefer to read white on black to black on white. My comment on the red text was meant to be humorous, in all honesty the red doesn't bother me much.
223815
I figured that from the 'end humor', but I was still just checking.
oh i think im going to die of luaghter that ending was so ironic and so dead halarious i cant stop laughing lol