“Sunset Shimmer, can you tell me who this is?” said Aria Blaze, reverently offering the picture of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s throne room with both hands.
Fluttershy helped Sunset stand. All three girls took a closer look at the picture that was sent magically from Equestria via the enchanted book.
Fluttershy was the first to speak. “She’s beautiful! Is that what Twilight looks like in her world?”
Sunset Shimmer shook her head, tears drying as she concentrated on the picture. She recalled Princess Twilight’s postscript, which said that the throne room would show her point of view with regard to Rarity’s attraction to Sunset. There was something about the way that the thrones were placed, but the glorious sight of the Alicorn of the Night combined with Twilight’s announcement of assistance were preventing the unicorn-turned-young-woman from forming a complete thought about Rarity.
“Twilight looks very similar to this, but she’s smaller and her coat and wings are lavender, not dark blue. This is Princess Luna,” Sunset Shimmer answered, focusing on the matter before her eyes.
“Tell me about her,” Aria insisted, placing her hands on her hips and leaning forward.
Sunset Shimmer saw the intense look in Aria’s violet eyes and knew that a half-answer wouldn’t satisfy her. All that I know about her is from legend and from my spying on the Canterlot throne room. She was still Nightmare Moon and banished when I left Equestria, she thought. I’ll just have to wing it from what I saw in Celestia’s throne room and what’s in the palace’s stained glass windows. Suddenly, she came to a startling realization.
Sunset Shimmer gasped and cried, “Aria, I understand! You met Princess Luna in your dream! This is a very big deal and now Twilight’s quick reply makes even more sense!”
“You’ve mentioned this before, but I still can’t imagine Vice Principal Luna like this,” Fluttershy added softly. She squeezed in to take a closer look.
“I was never a history expert, but I’ll at least tell you what I know from school and growing up in Equestrian Canterlot. Let me start at the beginning. When I was a filly, we were told tall tales about Nightmare Moon. She was the Mare in the Moon whom Celestia banished a thousand years ago. Parents warned us that she would gobble up all the bad little fillies and colts. Instead of Halloween, we had Nightmare Night, where we’d collect a bunch of candy and then give some of it to Nightmare Moon to keep her from hurting us,” explained Sunset Shimmer.
Hoping to keep the compact a secret, she chose her words carefully. “Well, the first time I learned of Twilight Sparkle was when she led the effort to stop Nightmare Moon who had just escaped from her exile.” And, the first time I learned that Celestia had replaced me as her personal student, she thought. “Twilight and her friends used the Elements of Harmony to defeat her. The Elements were a legendary rediscovery in and of themselves, but even for a magical world, it was myth returned to life to learn that instead of destroying Nightmare Moon, the Elements transformed her back into the lost Princess Luna.”
A small smile tugged at the edges of Sunset Shimmer’s tear-stained face. “Luna has slowly returned to a place of honor in Equestrian society, because of Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight. You can understand why I’d be interested in the whole ‘bad guy becomes good guy’ story,” she said, adding a small shrug of her shoulders. ”But that’s about all I know. Oddly, Vice Principal Luna seems to have had a fairly ordinary life. She just works for her sister at CHS.”
With some hesitation, Aria asked, “But, Princess Luna had a sword in my dream and she seemed so wise. What’s that all about?”
“I’m sorry, Aria. I know that Luna was rumored to protect and advise ponies in the dream world, but I have to admit that you probably know more about her now than I do. If I were you, I’d be honored that Princess Luna has taken a personal interest in you,” replied Sunset Shimmer, suppressing a bit of jealousy.
Fluttershy moved out of the kitchenette and started to carefully go through the mess Adagio had created. She said softly, “Sunny, um, if you don’t mind, I think we should take what you need and get out of here. I’d much rather continue this at my house with a cup of cocoa and a blanket.”
“Coffee, Fluttershy. Please?” requested Aria with a friendly smile.
“Of course, Aria!” she answered, tying her pink hair back to make working easier.
“But we have to go to my old hideout first,” added the purple-skinned girl, holding up an index finger for emphasis.
“Oh, I almost forgot. This has been an awfully full day already,” whispered Fluttershy.
The three girls, with a task at hand, quickly and efficiently organized the apartment. Sunset Shimmer was relieved that Adagio Dazzle never thought to search under the bed. Her jeweler’s tools, clay, wax, soldering iron, mortar, pestle, and a few other specialized items were undisturbed beneath a pile of dirty clothes. The kit held enough gemstones and precious metals to accomplish two goals. First, Sunset was confident she could still make the magical focus she had been designing in her mind for the past several days. Second, while the loss of the money and items in the hidden box was just shy of catastrophic, the extra jeweler supplies could be sold for enough money to live on for a little while.
Sunset Shimmer’s composure continued to be fragile throughout the entire process. She became very angry when she discovered that Adagio Dazzle had rifled through the stocking containing the first gifts given to her by Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity. The anger turned to tearful despair when she found that the only item Adagio stole was the pair of earrings that Rarity had given her. Sunset’s guilt stemming from the actions of her previous self would surely have debilitated her without the support of Fluttershy’s kindness and Aria’s determination.
The trio surveyed the apartment. Aria complimented Sunset, saying, “I’ve made it a habit of travelling light, but this is good work for a rookie.”
“Thank Celestia you both were here to help me through this. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if I had come here by myself,” said a grateful Sunset Shimmer.
Neither do I, thought Aria Blaze, giving Fluttershy a purple-eyed look of concern as they left the apartment, weighed down with their friend's most important belongings. Sunset locked the door behind them, refusing to look back.
------
Twilight Sparkle’s hooves made a rhythmic clip-clop-clip-clop against the crystalline floors of her castle. The pale light of Princess Luna’s moon filtered through the windows, casting shadows across the circular throne room. Sunset Shimmer’s late-night letter had prevented sleep from coming easily, so Twilight decided to do what she always did when insomnia struck: Do some research.
“Good evening, Your Highness,” said a pleasant voice. The guard was an earth pony from Ponyville that had leapt at the chance to help at the castle.
“Please, Chocolate Haze, I’m just Twilight,” she responded pleasantly.
The brown earth pony, dressed in an ill-fitting silver breastplate, returned the smile and answered, “As you say, Princess.”
Twilight facehoofed, groaning softly. Stretching her wings, she said, “I’m going into town for a little bit.”
Forgetting Rarity’s protocol training, Chocolate Haze stretched out a hoof and cried to the figure escaping out of the throne room window, “Twilight, wait! You’re supposed to have an escort!”
The cool spring air blew through her mane as she flew the short distance from what was quickly being known as the Castle of Friendship to the town of Ponyville. Twilight smiled and felt briefly guilty about her sudden departure. The new guardsponies were only trying to do the right thing. Celestia, Luna, and Cadence had each loaned her veterans to assist with training the volunteers, but after Tirek’s assault on Equestria, the need for able-bodied ponies was high everywhere. The castle provided a badly-needed focus for the population, since nearly the entire town had been destroyed in the battle between the diabolical Tirek and Ponyville’s adopted daughter, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Powerful magic and an immediate population boost had helped reconstruction efforts, and the town was nearly rebuilt physically. Mayor Mare was rumored to be planning an event celebrating Twilight’s victory and the appearance of the castle once the last few buildings were restored, a fact that made the still self-conscious princess uncomfortable.
Lazily gliding below the clouds, the alicorn thought about the maelstrom of the past few weeks. Wielding the combined power of all four Equesrian Princesses, battling Tirek to a standstill, sacrificing her magic to save her friends, channeling the unbuffered power of the Tree of Harmony with the other Element Bearers, and then her near-failure during the Battle of the Bands was almost too much for Twilight’s brilliant mind to process. Since her return to Equestria a few days ago, she immersed herself in routine matters and took solace in the friendships that had grown so profoundly over the past year – so profoundly that they had saved all of Equestria together on several occasions.
She thought, With the castle, can I still help my friends and the people of Ponyville the way I used to? I don’t want to stop tutoring the Cutie Mark Crusaders or not make time to do the simple things that built our friendship.
Twilight Sparkle, again thinking of Sunset Shimmer, softly landed near the edge of Ponyville. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at the remains of the Golden Oak Library, her former home. With a fiery blast from his twin horns, powered by the magic he had absorbed from nearly every pony in Equestria, Tirek had destroyed the stately tree. Nopony had the heart to lay a hoof on the ruins, yet. The huge trunk and the center of the library were completely destroyed, with only the front door remaining in place. One burned bough reached defiantly to the sky, stripped of its bark. Amazingly, despite the apocalyptic battle between Twilight and Tirek that was waged in and around Ponyville, a small stand of sunflowers sat undisturbed near the tree.
As Equestria’s most famous bibliophile, Twilight mourned the loss of thousands of books. Unknown to Twilight and her five friends, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom had led the effort for the sunflowers to be the focus of an effort to thank the Princess and restore her library. Next to the sunflowers sat a large, hoofpainted cart. Books from every family in Ponyville and from all over Equestria continued to be placed lovingly inside and its cargo was delivered to the castle each day.
Twilight Sparkle was lost in a year’s worth of memories. Spike’s surprisingly good cooking, Discord’s fake illness, her first slumber party, the effects of Poison Joke, and hundreds of other images flickered through her mind. Intellectually, she knew that those moments would always remain with her even if the Golden Oak Library was no more. Emotionally, the loss of her home had deeply affected the newly-ascended Princess. Tears spilling down her face, Twilight shifted to a more productive line of thought before the feelings overcame her.
The magical book linking her to Sunset Shimmer lay open in the castle library, waiting for her to pen a response. Princess Celestia had seemed surprised that Sunset Shimmer was thriving and making friends on the other side of the mirror. Twilight was proud of her choice to trust the gold-and-red unicorn and the talents of her human CHS friends to teach Sunset about friendship. What surprised the youthful alicorn was Celestia’s apparent disappointment at her decision to help her friends through the portal.
Twilight remembered the subtle narrowing of the Princess’ violet eyes and the change in the flow of the multicolored, ethereal mane when she asked, “You didn’t think it wise to return home for advice and assistance?”
Rainbow Dash had a perfect hoofball expression for Celestia’s sentiment. Nice play, Sparkle. Don’t ever do it again!
Faint hooffalls and the sound of wings folding alerted Twilight Sparkle to the fact that she was not alone anymore. Expecting a pair of guards to watch over her, she spun around, frowning.
“Salutations to you, Princess of Friendship,” greeted Princess Luna with a small smile. Her green-blue eyes twinkled, as did the stars flowing across her mane.
“Luna, you surprised me!” gasped Twilight, placing a lavender hoof against her chest.
“I apologize, Twilight, but ‘twas entirely necessary when I couldn’t find your dreams tonight,” she answered. Looking around, she continued, “It seems we have both escaped our escorts for the time being. But, I know that will not be the case for long. So, forgive my directness.”
Twilight looked sadly at the ruined tree. She told Luna, “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought coming here might help.”
“The lesser sadness, Starswirl called it,” Luna said sympathetically, “Victory at great cost is only slightly less awful than defeat. He was a very wise unicorn and the two of you would have been legendary… companions.” Luna briefly looked away toward the horizon, and then returned her gaze to the other princess.
Not knowing what to say, Twilight helped Luna get down to business, “So, how may I help you, Princess of the Night?” she asked with an exaggerated bow and a genuine smile.
Luna’s eyes turned darker and resembled a stormy sea, “Sunset Shimmer is in great danger. Your defeat of the Sirens, while commendable, was not the end of this threat. They serve a darker Master.”
Luna’s horn flared and Twilight was drawn into those eyes, cast adrift on the tempest. Luna, sharing images from her own memory, explained how the Sirens invaded Equestria at the direction of He-Who-Swims-in-Darkness. Leviathan appeared in Twilight’s mind as a pitch-black blob of dark magic with tentacles greedily reaching for Equestria from the sea. The three Sirens sped forth, harmonizing what the royal sisters feared would be a dark finale.
“We were overwhelmed so quickly and fell back to the border of the Crystal Empire. Fortunately, Tia listened to Starswirl and let me handle the battle while she was used as bait for Leviathan,” Luna narrated over the images of her own point of view.
During the battle a thousand years in the past, a golden-scaled Adagio Dazzle staggered the Princess of the Night with the same note that had overcome Twilight during the Battle of the Bands. Before Luna’s will broke, Starswirl the Bearded’s spellcasting reached a triumphant climax that hurled the Sirens through a dark hole in a mirror-like glacier, winning victory at the last moment. Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns cheered their general, chanting Luna’s name. Twilight felt Luna’s surprise at the army’s adoration because it was truly Starswirl’s spell that saved the day. As she looked at the bearded unicorn, she felt something else stir in her heart…
…and suddenly it was gone. The world returned to normal at the burned entrance to the Golden Oak Library. Twilight was shocked, mouth hanging open. She asked, “You led the ponies in the battle?”
“That’s what a Field Mareshall does, correct?” Luna retorted. When the younger alicorn didn’t recover from her stunned silence, Luna continued. “Your brother and few others know this secret. It’s past time you do, too. In an existential crisis, control of all Equestrian forces becomes mine. In war, I am permitted to issue orders to my sister, which must be obeyed without question. For routine matters and even conventional war, I am content to trust the existing chain of command. Who do you think told Celestia to relinquish her magic to you to combat Tirek?”
Astounded, Twilight could only ask haltingly, “You, Luna?”
“Exactly. Hear me well, Twilight Sparkle. I am the only one to both wield and to suffer attack from the Elements of Harmony. He-Who-Swims-in-Darkness slumbers and must not return to this world. At large, he will ruthlessly rule the seas and continually threaten us with dark magic. It’s likely he would ally with Chrysalis if she can be found. Because of Starswirl’s gambit, the seaponies and mermares cast off the chains of Imperial Aquastria soon after the Sirens were exiled. A young merstallion by the name of Coral Aegis defeated the Queen, freed the seaponies from bondage and destroyed the temple dedicated to Leviathan. King Leo, fulfilling your request, sent a book that summarizes that campaign as well as one that describes the current harmonious relationship between the seaponies and their former mistresses,” Luna said, inclining her head to jet-black saddlebags covering her flank.
“I’ll go at once to help Sunset Shimmer,” Twilight declared.
“NO! " Luna cried, using her Royal Canterlot Voice.
Twilight took a step forward, ready to argue. She said, “Luna, I must do this!”
Luna raised a platinum-shod hoof to calm the lavender alicorn. “Twilight Sparkle, whether you realize it or not, you are the star around which two worlds revolve. Leviathan has greater guile and deeper darkness than Tirek, who is a gluttonous brute. If you perish in that world, or worse, fall to the shadow, all is lost across the myriad of realities of which you are only beginning to learn. You are a Princess of Equestria.”
“I am learning what that means Luna. But I am not you, nor am I Cadance, nor am I Celestia,” Twilight declared, purple eyes flashing defiantly. “I know now that I was given these wings not just because of my skill in magic, but because of my friends. I will not abandon one of them now in her hour of need.”
Luna smiled, cupping Twilight’s muzzle affectionately. Her expression softened. “That simple truth is one of many things that give me hope for the future of Equestria. If you maintain that spirit, a truly glorious Princess you will be. But even Celestia listens to sound counsel and good advice,” she said admiringly.
Dropping her hoof, the Princess of the Night continued. “My advice to you, as Equestria’s only experienced Field Mareshall, is that you must only enter the battlefield yourself in the direst of circumstances. If Sunset Shimmer fails, it may come to that, but if she succeeds, it will prevent untold suffering.” Luna locked stares with Twilight, deep aqua eyes to purple, and continued. “In the days and years to come, you will make many choices that will determine your destiny and that of those you love. This is but a first step into that broader world. You must choose a champion that can help Sunset Shimmer prevent the return of evil even more dangerous than the Sirens. Do not pass through the portal yourself until this threat is defeated.”
Twilight Sparkle raised an eyebrow questioningly and replied, “A champion? I understand how confusing it would be if too many of my friends traveled through the portal, but the term ‘champion’ is, well, daunting to me. Why shouldn’t I go?”
Luna’s frustration began to show in her stormy eyes and her jaw clenched slightly. On the verge of annoyance, she deliberately said, “Both my sister and I are angry and disappointed with you for taking such a great risk on the other side of the portal. You should have come to us the moment you learned that the Sirens may have been responsible for the troubles that world was experiencing! Instead, you jumped headlong into danger, with luck and Sunset Shimmer combining to become your salvation.”
Twlight’s nostrils flared. She snorted and angrily responded to the elder alicorn, “I think you’re wrong! To take a risk and to trust in the Magic of Friendship has not been – and has never been - a mistake. You’re living proof of that fact, Luna! And, Sunset Shimmer may have just expanded the power of the Tree of Harmony. Didn’t you listen to me when I told you and Princess Celestia that the magical rainbow we conjured had seven bands of color instead of six? Sunset Shimmer could represent a new Element!”
The dusky alicorn closed her eyes and relaxed her shoulders. Her starlit mane blew gently in the breeze. Luna remained silent for a long moment and placidly replied, “Princess Twilight, I am personally grateful for your faith in your friends and in your special brand of magic that has saved us all time and again. The particular affinity that the Tree of Harmony has for you is a development that is not welcomed by all. But we will speak of that another time.”
“I understand, Luna. I will heed your advice. Though difficult, I will be patient and I will send another in my place,” Twilight said, somehow seeming taller and more regal than she was just a few moments ago.
“Has Sunset Shimmer made any requests?”
Twilight nodded and answered, “Yes, she has. She asked for information on the Sirens and anything that I could provide her for the forging of magical items and removal of curses. One of the Sirens gave her the shards of her magical pendant, and Sunset is convinced she can use it to focus the Equestrian magic that has leaked into her world.”
“That is a significant development. Was it the one known as Aria Blaze?” asked Luna enigmatically.
“No, it was Sonata Dusk,” she replied.
Princess Luna’s eyes grew wide with surprise but she delivered a mysterious response. “This is a fortuitous circumstance indeed. That fact makes it more certain that you must decide, today, who would best assist Sunset Shimmer.”
As the sky began to turn gray with the approach of dawn, two thestrals and two pegasi touched down near the ruins of the Golden Oak Library. All four bowed respectfully to the two Princesses.
Luna nodded to Twilight, indicating that she should speak. Twilight said to the guards, “I’m so glad to see your concern for our welfare. Could you fly with us back to the castle and ensure that the topmost balcony is prepared to receive Princess Luna? She must lower the moon soon.”
With an approving look back at Twilight, Princess Luna took wing, leading the flight back to the Castle of Friendship.
-----
Waving a clenched eagle talon at Rainbow Dash, Discord cried, “I demand to be allowed to go help this Sunset Shimmer!”
“We’ve been over this a dozen times already!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she flew around the edge of the throne room. “Twilight shouldn’t let you out of her sight, ever again!”
The spirited predawn argument had begun soon after Luna and Twilight returned to the castle. Twilight summoned her friends and declared her intentions to send one of them through the portal to help Sunset Shimmer. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie all pleaded their case. Just when the din threatened the princess’ sanity, Discord, disguised as a bookmark, leapt out of a nearby bookshelf and pushed the situation into full-fledged lunacy. Luna sipped a cup of coffee while calmly reading a book, not saying a word despite the bedlam.
The four mares’ arguments were forceful, but uninventive. Each asserted that their Elements and other strengths would give Sunset Shimmer the edge against the Sirens. Discord’s declarations were more unique but also more worrisome, given his checkered past.
“I deserve a chance to atone for my crimes, Princess Twilight,” Discord said. “How can I prove my gratitude and loyalty if I don’t get a little bit of latitude?” He suddenly sported a pirate captain’s hat that permitted his horn and antler to poke through, along with an eye patch and a spyglass. The Spirit of Chaos’ lizard leg had been replaced temporarily by a wooden peg and his hoof balanced atop a small barrel.
Discord, the Spirit of Chaos and Equestria’s only known draconequus, had become a fixture in and around Twilight Sparkle's new castle. Following the costly victory achieved by Twilight and her friends over Tirek, a restored Discord had been on his best behavior. His pranks were subdued (for him) and he was deferential to the four Princesses, especially Twilight. Fluttershy’s faith that Discord's reformation was near-total was heartwarming, but the others remained wary.
Snapping the "fingers" of his paw, Discord returned to his normal appearance. The argument would have continued until dawn and beyond if not for a soft, insistent tapping of a hoof on the arm of one of the thrones.
“Yes, Fluttershy?” Twilight Sparkle asked. Unbelievably, the room became silent.
Fluttershy stood with a determined look in her soft turquoise eyes. She addressed her friends. “Did any of you even listen to Twilight before you started shouting at each other? Did you hear what it is that Sunset Shimmer wanted? Or were you so eager to jump through the mirror that you forgot?”
Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity grumbled, but did not object. Discord slowly stroked his white beard and simply stared at the pink-maned pegasus with his mismatched eyes, his expression unreadable.
“She needs magic and knowledge. And while I dearly care for you all, there is only one of us that has enough experience to help Twilight’s friend Sunset Shimmer.” She laid a hoof on the draconequus’ paw and added, “And that is Discord.”
“Now hold on there, sugarcube,” Applejack attempted to interrupt.
“No, Applejack,” she countered firmly. “You all know I’m right. Do you know anything about metalworking? The Sirens? Thousand-year-old monsters?”
The other ponies shook their heads. Luna set her book down. Twilight concentrated on her friend’s appeal.
“But he does,” Fluttershy said, looking up at Discord’s red eyes, which were visibly misty and unfocused. “And, what harm could he be in a world with just a teeny-weeny bit of magic?” she finished with a smile. The expressions on everypony’s faces made it clear that their normally timid friend had won the argument.
Twilight shifted into Princess Mode, eager to move on. She intoned, “There is a motion on the floor to send Discord through the mirror. Do I hear a second?”
“Second,” Rarity said softly. “But, I don’t particularly like it,” she added with a toss of her purple mane.
“All in favor?”
“Aye,” came five voices in varying degrees of enthusiasm.
“Opposed?” Twilight’s question was greeted with silence. She continued, “The motion carries! Let’s get to work to gather and prepare the items that Discord needs. I will open the portal at the next dawn.”
Luna stood up and announced, “I’m glad that’s finally decided! It is time for me to lower the moon. Please excuse me, Twilight.” Tapping the still-stunned draconequus with a hoof, she added, “Discord, would you accompany me to the top of the castle?”
“Um, of course, Your Nocturnal Worshipfulness!” replied Discord, his irreverent bravado slowly returning.
The two immortals flew to the Zodiac Gallery, high above the throne room. Luna’s horn glowed with intense eldritch fire as the moon dropped below the western horizon at the precise moment that the sun crested in the east. Far below them, the six ponies sprang into action.
“You must know your enemy, Discord,” began Princess Luna.
“Highness, stray, defeated Sirens can no longer feed Leviathan, even if they did return to Equestria,” he retorted, comical features becoming suddenly serious. “There’s no possible way their shattered hearts could fully wake our icky, inky enemy.”
Luna frowned with frustration. “What if he had help? What if an elder servant of Vecna was involved?”
Discord’s eyes widened in fear. “Then we are all in grave danger. This seed must not sprout,” he said soberly. Returning to sarcastic form, he cheerily added, “I always hated the way that Leviathan would chain his servants. Not only would they rattle as they swam, but to have that sort of order imposed on you with no choice at all is such a bore.”
“Do you think you can help Sunset Shimmer salt this particular piece of ground?” asked Princess Luna.
“Yes, my dear Moonbutt, I will help her,” Discord retorted, earning an annoyed roll of Luna’s eyes. “After all, you know that my particular brand of chaos requires life. The dead have excellent entropy but are absolutely no fun. I couldn’t let that happen to any of you, especially after…” he trailed off and clamped his mouth shut.
“…you betrayed us yet again?” Luna frowned and softly intoned, “Fluttershy is right. This is your chance to prove yourself once and for all. But don’t think for a moment that I won’t serve you up to Vecna on a silver platter to save Equestria if you switch sides again.”
Discord gulped and Luna continued, nodding her head down towards the commanding figure of Twilight Sparkle, who was departing the throne room to write Sunset Shimmer in her library. “She must be protected from the awful truths of the multiverse for as long as possible. She is blissfully innocent of her true potential. Twilight Sparkle’s pure motives make her spirit and her magic more powerful each day. The love she shares equally with her friends is a beacon that will shine forth for eons if it comes to light fully. We dare not spoil that. Others must dirty their hooves, or claws and talons in your case, for her to let that radiance build.”
“Yes, Princess Luna. I understand. For the first time in a thousand years, I think I really do understand you,” the Spirit of Chaos answered in fearful, yet mysterious, admiration.
Luna pressed her hoof against the Spirit of Chaos’ snakelike chest. “I have one last thing, Discord. I won’t permit Twilight to open the portal again once you pass through. Your options will be Sunset Shimmer’s victory, centuries of terror hiding from four furious alicorns in a low-magic world or your defeat by one or both of the dark powers you face,” Luna warned. She then added a toothy grin and a frighteningly out-of-place wink, and said, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little bit of fun on the other side of the mirror.”
“Luna, all you needed to do is say so!” he replied with an irrepressible smile, his mood instantly improving. Discord snapped the fingers of his lion’s paw, causing a cloudburst of jelly beans to rain down upon Twilight’s throne room. Pinkie Pie’s squeal of joy brought a smile to both of their faces.
----
Over the next full day, a custom-made backpack in the castle library slowly filled with the items that Princess Twilight Sparkle intended to send to Sunset Shimmer. All had been carefully enchanted to limit the risk of their transformation into other items during the transit between worlds. The inventory included a half-dozen ancient books, ingots of star iron from the Crystal Empire, feathers from the wings of all four Princesses, silvery Aquastrian coral, and other rare spellcasting components.
“I think that’ll do it!” shouted Pinkie Pie, adding an enormous rock candy necklace dominated by yellow and red chunks of sugar.
“That’s everything on the list,” declared Twilight Sparkle, placing a stick carefully removed from the remnants of the Golden Oak Library into Discord’s pack. She used her magic telekinesis to carefully set two envelopes on her nearby writing desk.
A soft voice interrupted, “I have one last thing,” said Fluttershy, stepping forward. “Discord, Twilight told me a little bit about the clothes that are worn on the other side of the portal. Um, if it’s not too much trouble, I wanted you to have something you could wear so you, um…”
Discord leaned down to Fluttershy and asked kindly, “What is it, my dear friend?”
Fluttershy pressed a remarkable lapel pin into Discord’s paw. About two inches across, the enameled and bejeweled pin was an incredible design of an pink-and-green butterfly. It was a near-exact duplicate of her cutie mark.
Fluttershy finished her sentence with a whisper into the draconequus’ ear, so the others couldn’t hear, “…so you don’t forget about me.”
Discord hugged the pale yellow pegasus and said, “Thank you, Fluttershy. I will certainly treasure it.” Through his magic, the pin briefly came to life, settling on his shoulder. To the rest of the assembled group the draconequus announced grandly, “Well, there’s no time like the present. We can’t keep Sunset Shimmer waiting!”
As the red-and-gold light of dawn filtered through the windows of the castle, Twilight activated the portal. Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, shouldered his backpack and stepped through the mirror into a strange new world.
Well it's about time! Time for Ahab Discord to make his first official human appearance :)
I'm actually kind of glad that Discord is the one who is going. It'll be entertaining.
5291410 Oh, be kind... I have the twenty-sided dice and the World of Greyhawk Gazeteer to prove my first-edition credentials. If going to this particular well is a bad idea, there are plenty of names I could use and the edit button is **right there**. Thanks for sticking with me, though... My nostalgia may have gotten the best of me.
5291408 Darnit! Forgot a white whale!
Discord, eh? Well, I do hope Twilight has the foresight to mention his reform...
Actually, I am very interested in Twilight's independence and how Celestia and Luna took her... gumption, with more fitting words escaping me right now. It's not something I've seen looked at. Perhaps this is not the place for it, perhaps it is, but it is something to think about....
So... wait, I think I must've missed something... if the Sirens did battle with Luna back before Starswirl sent them all packing, shouldn't Aria recognize her?
discord is comming!! ^^
Oh man, DISCORD!!!! Thank you for bringing him in! This is gonna be GREAT!!!
Huh. Here I thought the Sirens were serving some relative of Cthulhu. Just as well, Lovecraft's overused anyway.
A good chapter and a nice setup for what's to come, and I'm looking forward to Discord's adventures in the human world.
Okay, I hope that Raven is holding onto her butt because the fun is about to be increased by a fractal and irrational number.
I've got a feeling that the aquarium will be where the two forces meet for their first true battle, although I'm pretty sure that Adagio will never be more than a grudging ally for the banshee. What is worrying is the possibility that many more dark monsters hide in the human world and that the banshee is the least of them.
Luna's concerns are justified; a war is brewing, one that will transcend the limitations of universe and reality. Who knows where it may end and what price may need to be paid?
"Emergency Backup Sunbutt--
Am sending you aid: Discord, Emperor of Chaos, Scourge of Reason, Spirit of Disharmony.
Don't worry, Fluttershy gave him a hug and it kind of went from there.
Just never don't carry chocolate and you'll be fine.
--HRH TSparx"
5291408
If it looks like Q, that will be hilarious.
Another great chapter!
Discord and Sunset Shimmer? This will be interesting.
Good evening, everyone! Thanks for all of the comments! I promise I won't make this a marathon reply and apologize if I don't mention you specifically. I'm sorry I have to be cryptic in a few responses, too. I knew it would be an interesting day when I, seriously, had a surprise meeting with a person whose last name was truly "Luna".
5291457 I'm glad you mentioned Celestia/Luna's anger with Twilight. Our heroine went neck deep, got out of it and she did it herself. it's understandable they're angry at her risks, but Twilight has finally grown to the point where she can (and should) disagree with the other alicorns.
5291554 Thanks for pointing out that break in continuity. I PM'd you and would appreciate your thoughts on how to smooth out that break.
5291998 I'm so sorry that I never told you I have no idea who Lovecraft's character is/was! But, I'm happy that you like the direction I decided to go with the villains.
5292090 Your summary letter from Twilight is the most hilarious thing I've read in a while. I totally deserved that!
And, finally, 5292763, you forced me to use my Google fingers. Much has changed in the decades since I last broke out the pen, paper, miniatures, and dice. What do you think? Vecna here is really just a name for Big Bad Dead Dude, but I'll hand over the helm to you. Stay the course or shift direction?
5294372
lol, I just wrote you a response right before I saw you posted this,
5294489 My craptastic timing is one of the few constants of the universe.
Dohohohoho
I like the choice to send Discord. Should make things pretty interesting.
So overall thoughts, now that I've caught up:
- Your mechanics in the first couple chapters suffered quite a bit from poor dialogue punctuation. Luckily, that problem seems to have fixed itself the past couple chapters, but I'd definitely consider grabbing an editor and going over the first few chapters.
- Your pacing for the most part is pretty strong. You're taking your time in moving the plot forward, allowing your characters to develop naturally. As I mentioned, though, some of those developments have felt... less natural. But other than that one hiccup, your pacing has pretty great. Keep it up.
- The world-building has been quite the welcome surprise. Loving that.
- Shipping. It feels horribly out of place. The Sonata thing seems interesting, but the Rarity thing? I feel like that's best left alone. I'm not sure what that will actually add to the story that simple friendship wouldn't suffice.
- All in all, good stuff. I look forward to more.
Cheers!
5297518 I appreciate your detailed chapter-by-chapter feedback. Thank you very much! I'll follow up with more detail in a PM, but I'm grateful for your watch and for adding the story to your collection of favorites. Your suggestion to go back through everything earlier than Chapter 3 (and probably everything earlier than Chapter 5) is an excellent one. I am now worried about turning off potential new readers because of the quality difference between, say, the Prologue and Chapter 5. But forgive me if I stall for a little bit or if the revisions are slow and piecemeal. I'll admit I've been focused on moving forward with the story instead of scrubbing previously completed work. After this much writing, I can't claim "rookie status" any more, but I'm floored by the kind, welcoming response by you and so many others to my first fan fiction effort.
I'll keep tying the backstory to the present as the story builds. By slowing down and through constructive feedback, like yours, my writing will continue to improve. The individual I've thanked in author notes is a tremendous help with all aspects of the later chapters and deserves immense credit. Thanks again!
5298018
That was about when I noticed a pretty significant mechanical improvement in your story, so yes. Massive credit to her.
I also forgot to mention another thing that bothered me. I can't remember if it was the most recent chapter or the chapter before (pretty sure it was the most recent, though), but you decided to give a long paragraph description of what Discord looked like. It was entirely unnecessary and out of place. We've seen the show, and you can reasonably expect us to have seen the show. We know what Discord looks like. The long paragraph was not necessary and was honestly pretty jarring.
Hi, I'm here! I'm listening to French rock (or something along those lines), so I'm sure I'm in the proper state of mind to be reviewing a chapter!
We're in Equestria! We're in Equestria! Oh wait, there was a scene before that? The Aria thing, right? Yeah, Aria was fine, everything was fine.
...Okay, now we're in Equestria! Where all the princess business is happening! Especially Luna business. Luna's serious business. Sheesh, wonder how she'd react if somepony tried to tell her a knock-knock joke. Putting that aside, Luna-Twilight interaction is tricky, since there isn't much in canon on which to base their interaction. You made Luna authoritative and mysterious, and Twilight was a nice balance by wanting to listen yet still holding her ground against the Princess of the Night. So good job there!
Then, Discord's first appearance. And right off the bat, you make him a pirate. Conning, you'll be the death of me, I swear. Good characterization of Discord, another tricky one to write. (I know. I've written him before. Instead of a chaos god, I made him a romantic sap. ) But the dynamic between the Mane 6 (especially Flutters ), that was really good, probably the best I've read of your scenes with them as one big group.
Then the Discord-Luna scene! And here is why I love anything to do with the Royal Sisters. The fact of their quasi-godhood gives everything they do weight. When they get involved, the stakes skyrocket. And having two immortals discuss these sorts of matters, far above the tiny mortals' understanding, that's great.
While I was editing this, there was something that nagged at me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Now, I can: Exposition. You did a lot of explaining in this chapter, which made sense, since you crossed into the ponyverse. But I think that's why I suggested to stop the chapter here; the lengthy paragraphs weighed on the pacing, making the chapter feel longer than it really was. To exemplify what I told you in our PM, me helping you with this would get into that grey area I don't want to touch. As you write more, you'll figure it out.
All in all, a nice bridge into what is sure to be a fun ride with Discord in the human world! See everyone on Chapter 9!
Three words.
TOO. MUCH. HYPE!
Seriously though, this is going to fun!
5298043 I'm grateful for your thoughtful feedback both here and in private messages. In the way of instant gratification, I moved the Shakespeare credit to an end-of-chapter footnote in Chapter 7 and replaced the prose description of Discord in Chapter 8 with an illustration. As discussed, I have several friends that are reading the story who are unfamiliar with MLP, but your reminder about what this audience should reasonably assume is what I needed to hear and is well-timed.
5301509 What can I say other than thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your editing and "this doesn't fit" suggestions are wonderful! I'm not exaggerating when I say that I think you saved the story (and kept me going). And with Discord's first appearance, I had to go with something nautical for his plea for "latitude" and it escalated from there. I'm also glad that I was able to do a decent job with the dynamic between the Princesses, Discord, and the Mane 6. In cartoon land, I am curious what's going to happen in the aftermath of Tirek and Rainbow Rocks. I see Twilight at least even, if not more powerful than Cadance at this point, prompting the changes I described at (possibly too much) length. You're the best and I deeply appreciate your support and help.
5302454 It'll be fun, in all the ways that Discord can be! I don't entirely understand what you mean by too much hype, but I will admit that I covered a lot of backstory here. I hope you continue to follow the story and let me know what you think. Thanks!!!
Well, after a splurge reading from chapter three all the way to chapter eight, I must admit that I am very impressed with the entire story thus far.
I have little else that I can say aside from pure adoration and very spot on characters. You portrayal of both the Dazzlings and Sunset are amazing.
If you need any help, just send me a PM.
Until then, I await much more.
5304367 Thank you very much! You are very kind to say such flattering things and I'm glad that the story captured your interest for so long today! Obviously, I need all the help I can get, so don't be surprised to see a PM from me in the future. Enjoy the rest of your day!
Hnnnnnnggggggghgggg
I love Discord, and cannot wait to see what happens on the other side *Hnnng intensifies*
Also first comment I've made on this story! Glad to be reading it and I look forward to the chapters yet to come! Thanks for the story :)
I like the idea of Luna holding more power in wartime than her sister. It fits my headcannon of her being the more martially minded and skilled of the two. And I'm also going to agree with her on what Twilight should have done. At the very least she should have gone back and got help once she realized she wasn't getting anywhere on the counterspell.
Star iron eh? Perfect for makeing a sword.
I know really really want to see someone, most likely Sunest or Aria using a sword crafted from star iron and with a reforged siren gem at the pommel acting as a magical focus.
In terms of chapter layout: the picture of Discord and and time spent explaining him was jarring. It didn't match anything else done in the story and given the likely target audience serves no purpose. It feels really out of place.
5397390 and 5298043 ... I have finally edited Chapter Eight to eliminate the jarring picture and lengthy description of Discord. I've been in my real-life line of work too long - I felt the need to report back after completing a necessary task.
I've scrubbed up to the point where 5301509 began providing me with expert editing assistance during Chapter Five. To all three of you: I wanted to publicly thank you once more for your sage advice and indefatigable support!
I think I understand now. Sunset is hoping to transfer the remaining power from the broken shards of Sonata's gem to a new gem mounted in a piece of jewelry. The impression I got before was that Sunset was hoping to use the Apple family's forge to repair the gem itself. I'm no geologist, but I'm pretty sure melting a jewel would destroy the crystal structure.
I liked the scene from Equestria. I think it really clarified the reasoning why Twilight can only be a support role in this. I also like the idea of Luna being the Commander-in-Chief of Equestrian armed forces in times of extreme crisis. I think it makes sense given Luna's more hooves-on approach to helping her subjects.
I'm interested to see what kind of trouble Discord will get into in the EG world.
Nice!
Also, Discord. DIs gun be gud.
I noticed that you spell HWSID's differently each time; with and without hyphens. Don't know if you did it purposefully. It's obvious you're making him an antagonist with themes of fear; particularly the fear of the unknown, in the same way Lovecraft did with his eldritch creations. The slightly different spelling adds a bit of tension in the name... a detail that gives us the "something's not right" vibe. Still, the effect is almost null, but the idea is pretty original.
If you did dun done on purpose, I demand a cookie jar of the utmost quality. If wrong, a singular cookie of terrible taste.
Thank you for reading today's, "Dude stop looking too deep into meaningless details", with formidable me as your host.
5930293 This chapter was among my favorites to write. There are several more "wow" moments yet to come, but I'd like to think I poured a lot into the scene at the library and the conversation on the Zodiac Gallery.
The only spoiler hint that I'll provide is that in the chapters written thus far (Up to Chapter 21) there's only another very short scene that set in Equestria. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for commenting and I look forward to learning your future thoughts!
Well, Discord won't have to wait too long. He'll see Fluttershy again, though I doubt it'd be the same. And I'm totally calling it right now that human!Fluttershy will develop a crush for Discord. That'd be pretty funny, I think.
5962791 I think that you'll enjoy the entire Discord story arc and his interactions with all of the characters. He's in for the duration, just as Luna said, though I have to use him with caution, lest he overpower every scene in which he appears! Thanks again for taking the time to comment.