After the match had ended, Celestia offered that they retreat for a relaxing bath, separately of course, and meet back for a late lunch together.
Twilight, having exhausted herself both physically and mentally, gladly took her up on the offer. She didn’t have much stamina and her magic did have its limits. Slowly she worked her way back up to her room, cursing each step of stairs along the way.
When she finally got to her room, she nearly collapsed right then and there in the doorway. But she knew that going the extra few steps would be worth the effort and walked herself the rest of the way to the bathroom, turned on the faucet and hopped in.
An audible sigh escaped her muzzle as she entered the tub.
In the past she thought that the water that was fed to the castle must have been enchanted, but in actuality the water that Canterlot castle used came right from the mountain that it sat upon. She found out later on that it became enriched in minerals as it ran through the crystal caverns that lie beneath the castle. She could practically feel the fatigue run off her as she melted into the warm water, flushing out all the leftover adrenaline in her system. When the time came to exit the bath and go to lunch she had to push herself to leave the enticing liquid. She didn't want to make Celestia wait on her after all.
After finishing her bath she made her way down to the dining hall. Much of the servant ponies that worked at the castle were now up and about, attending to their various jobs. As she passed through the halls she could hear some of the conversations being held between them as they worked, among them included her sparring match with the princess, which she wasn't surprised that some ponies had witnessed.
When they caught her eyes they immediately went back to their jobs of cleaning and such, looking in every direction but hers. She had a feeling that word would get around to most of the ponies in the castle eventually but it had spread quicker than she thought. Even a few guards gave her some funny looks as they saw her, she managed to smile sheepishly back as she passed by.
But she didn't blame them. She was actually a little surprised herself. The way that the princess was acting was certainly not very normal by anypony's standards. She didn't even think that the princess had ever engaged in anything of the physical nature with anypony in her lifetime, nor several lifetimes before hers.
So what were they supposed to think after seeing the normally friendly and gentle princess engaged in something like horn foiling with none other than her student?
For the most part she ignored most of the looks she received as she made her way to the dining hall. After all the effort she exerted previously it had left her feeling as hungry as she had felt that time she spent three days straight on a researching binge.
But she would be lying if she said that she didn't find the activity of horn foiling fun. It was much different than her usual activities of reading and studying, it made her feel invigorated and at the end, left her feeling refreshed by the change of pace. She wondered if that was why Celestia liked it so much.
Perhaps the reason she enjoyed it so much was because it was the princess that she had participated with. Or maybe it was because of the smile that the princess had worn the entire time and that she was the reason it was there.
She finally arrived at her destination finding to her relief that it was empty for the most part. One maid was cleaning off tables and placing down fresh tablecloths, from lunch she assumed, and there were a few guards posted at the entrances; most likely because they heard the princess would be joining her.
After finding a seat next to one of the large windows overlooking the courtyard in which they had their match only an hour ago, one of the kitchen staff came out to take her order.
But before she had the opportunity to speak, the sound of panicked voices from down the hall brought her and her attendant's attention to it. From what she could tell one of them was Celestia's voice. The sound was coming from behind the double door main entrance and she had no idea why, but she felt a strong call to flee rise in her.
A few seconds later two royal guards opened the doors and both had panicked looks plastered on their faces and a strangely familiar pony walked into the room.
“Ah. Twilight. I hope I didn't make you wait too long.”
Everypony in the room, Twilight included, had stopped moving, breathing, and blinking. For several moments nopony dared to move. The stillness that they had achieved would make even the statues in the garden jealous.
Twilight's brain had to shut down and restart in order to remember how to breath again. Even then it took a few moments for what her eyes saw to reach her brain.
This pony...
Same white coat. Same Sun cutie mark. Same bright smile that she always found when the princess looked at her. The same white wings at her sides. This pony, it was definitely Celestia. But there was something off about her.
As her eyes fell upon the alicorn's mane her mind just seemed to... go blank.
She found herself at a loss for words. Her mouth worked trying to find words that benefited the anomaly but the only word that managed to work out was-
“Pink...”
Celestia's mane and tail was now a light pink color instead of its usual assorted rainbow of blue, green, and violet. Instead of her mane flowing in the non-existent wind as it used to, it now hung lightly with a touch of fluffiness to it.
“I'm glad you noticed.” Celestia said, giving wide smile and a little flick of her mane to keep it aligned along her neck.
Twilight had always thought that Celestia's mane was one of the most beautiful sights to behold, ever since she first saw it as a filly. It would sparkle in the rays of the sun and glow slightly, almost as if it was radiating its own sunlight. She believed that it suited the princess best, a mane made of sunlight and rainbows.
That was, to say, until today.
It was strange. It felt like she was seeing the princess for the first time, like up until now she had been looking at her wrong. Some might say that having just a one color mane would be plain and dull in comparison; but no, it actually seemed to bring out the rest of her hidden beauty. It was like her rainbowed mane had stolen the spotlight from the rest of her natural beauty. And now that it was gone she could fully appreciate just how amazing she looked.
“But... how...”
“There is a spell that’s woven into the regalia that Luna and I wear. I'm sure you noticed when you first met Luna, her mane did not always reflect the night sky as it does now. What you see now-” She gestured to her mane and tail. “-is how I look like normally.” She gave a little pose to her student giving her a full look at what the princess looked like now.
And then it finally dawned on her. The princess wasn't wearing anything. At all. She was completely without any of her royal attire. Every time she had ever seen the princess or talked to her she not once ever saw the princess without her chest plate, golden shoes, or tiara worn.
Celestia didn't need any fancy dresses to wear, any gold trinkets to hang from her, nor did she need to use spells to make herself look better. Seeing her now made her even more sure of that fact. She already was beautiful in every regard.
“Honestly Twilight. You didn't think that I was born with a mane made of rainbows.”
Twilight blushed at the comment, knowing that she actually did think that when she was younger. But Celestia didn't seem to notice and continued on.
“At the end of our match I thought about how you had used my own regalia against me, which I must say was very clever-.” This getting another blush from the purple mare. “But it made me realize that lately I have been wearing it whenever I go out in public.”
“I do try to make an effort not to wear my regalia at all times but it would seem that it has been quite some time since I last went out in public without it.” She said, observing the looks of the few ponies in the room that were still frozen in place. Judging from their looks it had to have been at least a century.
Closing the distance between them the princess walked over to take a seat directly across from Twilight , the whole time Twilight's eyes never leaving the alicorn.
“And I must say, it is very... liberating.”
Catching that Twilight was still gawking at her she frowned and asked, “What? Do I look really look so strange without all my royal wear?”
“No. Its just... You look... more...”
Amazing?
Perfect?
Beautiful?
Radiant?
“Natural.”
Stupid stupid!
“So I do look worse!” Celestia wailed, pulling a wing up to hide her face.
“No! Not like that!” She replied hastily waving her hooves for effect. “I mean you have natural beauty.” Much like her friend Fluttershy and how she didn't have to use any cosmetics to look her best. She looked amazing just as she was.
“You’re just saying that.”
“No. I mean it. You look better this way.”
“So I looked worse before.”
“No, Yes- I mean...”
The panicked unicorn continued to try and explain herself until the sound of what could have been bells reached her ears. At first she was confused until she noticed that the princess was shaking slightly.
Was Celestia... giggling?!
Unable to hold back her mirth any longer Celestia retracted her wing and openly chuckled. “I'm sorry Twilight, I just can't resist teasing you sometimes.”
Though Twilight wasn't a fan of being teased it had done well in breaking the tension that had formed in the room. The waitress that had stood frozen nearby had finally come out of her shock and scrambled to quickly take both of their orders. While taking the princess' order Twilight noticed that the pony was looking everywhere but at the alicorn's mane.
After finishing taking their orders the mare scurried away, not willing to stay for longer than necessary in the room. Thus leaving just her and the princess alone.
“I've been meaning to ask what brought you to the castle yesterday. I was so caught up spending time with you again that I forgot I was also keeping you from doing whatever it was you came here for.”
gulp
“It must have been important to get you to leave your studies, I wouldn't want to hold you up any longer on my account.” Her voice holding a touch of sadness.
For a couple of seconds Twilight contemplated not telling her. She had known that the princess would ask eventually and had thought of a few good half-truths she could use. But knowing Celestia, she would probably see right through them.
The princess had opened herself up to her and she would be nothing but open back.
“Actually, it wasn't for my studies that I came to Canterlot.”
Celestia tilted her head slightly, wondering what she meant. Letting out a sigh Twilight decided that it was better if she was fully honest.
“Yesterday morning Luna stopped by.” she admitted as if she was confessing to a crime she had committed. “She told me that that you were feeling lonely lately and asked me to stop by for the weekend to keep you company.”
She brought herself up to take a look at Celestia's reaction and was surprised to see just a sad smile.
“I thought my sister might have had a hand in you coming here. It would seem that my own problems had her worrying about me.”
Celestia seemed to wilt a little.
“I hope she didn't trouble you.”
“Oh no. I was glad to come visit.” She responded quickly. She didn't want Celestia to think that she came because she felt obligated to. She came because Celestia meant a lot to her. “And I didn't come just because Luna asked me to.”
Celestia looked like she was about to say something when the doors to the kitchen opened. The mare that had cleaning tables earlier had returned with a tray of tea and left it on the table, setting a cup of the hot tea in front of both of them. Celestia took the cup and held it close to her, taking in the smell of hot herbs and cinnamon.
“So Twilight. Have you thought about what you would like as your reward?”
Oh. Right.
Forgot about that...
She had gotten so caught up in the contest that she had forgotten about what Celestia had promised her. In all honesty she just wanted to make Celestia proud of her, to show that her student had grown up to be a great mage and that the princess' generosity in taking her on as a student did not go to waste.
Well... that and seeing the smile on the princess' face as they sparred.
“I haven't... really given it much thought yet...” She admitted sheepishly.
In all honesty she had no idea what would be appropriate to ask of the princess. She almost wanted to ask her for something simple like a book, but it would be insulting to waste a favor from a princess on something like a book. Maybe a library's worth of books?
But that wasn't what she really wanted.
No.
Then again, what did she want?
Stealing a wistful glance across the table at the white princess who was currently adding a spoonful of sugar to her tea, she couldn't help but feel a bout of sadness take hold. Yes, There was something that she wanted more than anything else. But it was something that she knew she could never have. Who was she? Not even a noble pony and far from being anypony worth of note. Sure, she was a bearer of one of the Elements of Harmony, but she was nothing without her five other friends. And she did study under the princess for a time, yes, days spent studying with the princess were some of best days she had as a foal, but it wasn't through her skill that she got that title. No, it was because of her failure. As a foal she was gifted with magic that she couldn't control, Celestia took her on as a student just so that she didn't hurt other ponies like she did that day at the exam.
But she had a chance now.
A chance to be something more than just a student to the princess.
Not only did Celestia trust her more now, but she also felt okay with letting her know a more personal side of the alicorn that she was sure wasn't very well known to the general public. She never knew that Celestia could be so playful and aloof, or that she was so good at something like horn foiling for that matter. Growing up in the castle she did get to know the princess better than most, but Celestia never opened herself up so freely to her in the past.
Celestia considered her to be more than just another pony. More than a student. She now thought of her as a friend. And she wouldn't jeopardize that for anything. Even if it was her own feelings. She would never let the princess down. If Celestia wanted a friend to talk to and spend time with then she would do all she could to be that for her. She would just have to bear back her feelings.
Besides, it wasn't as if she could ever ask the princess to have feelings that don't exist.
“That's fine.” Celestia said bringing the mare from her thoughts. “As soon as you decide though please don't hesitate to tell me. I would be more than happy to grant you whatever you wish.”
Twilight gave Celestia the most reassuring smile she could muster not wanting her own problems to dampen the good time that they had been having together, even if it had been a little different then what she was used to.
“On another note, I'm sure that Shining Armor will be surprised to know that his little sister is quite talented in his best sport. Perhaps you should spar with him? I must admit it would be quite the spectacle to see the great 'Captain of the guard' fall to his adorable little sister.”
Twilight paled at the thought but immediately rebounded as it reminded her of a question she had been meaning to ask.
“Oh, thats right, I was wondering if you knew where my brother is? I figured I would have run into him by now, especially with what happened earlier.”
Celestia gave Twilight a bewildered look. “You don't know?”
“Know what?”
Celestia laughed lightly. “Twilight, it’s Shining Armor and Cadence's anniversary. They decided to take a weekend trip to Prance.”
Twilight mentally and physically facehooved. She had forgotten about their anniversary. Had she really been working herself so hard back home that she was oblivious to even her own family?
“I can't believe I forgot...”
“Don't worry Twilight. I probably wouldn't have remembered either if it wasn't for Cadence bragging about it to me and Luna for the past month.” said Celestia, grumbling out the last bit.
Letting out a sigh she decided that it wasn't worth worrying about now and took a long sip of the warm tea the waitress had brought them and in doing so, missed the smile that began to form on the princess.
“I would imagine that they would be enjoying themselves in one of Prance’s hotels right about now.”
Twilight proceeded to spit out her tea and choke on the liquid lodged in her windpipe.
Celestia had spent most of the rest of the day with Twilight just taking pleasure in each other’s company. It would seem that she wore her student out with their little sparring match earlier and she didn't want to push Twilight too hard. As the day wore on then found themselves relaxing comfortably next to each other on her balcony, simply enjoying the view of her setting sun and basking in the warm glow.
Setting the sun didn't actually require any effort. It was only in raising the sun or moon that using magic was necessary. The sun would follow the rest of its path across the sky without needing further assistance. It was just one more misconception that her ponies made in thinking that she was an all-powerful goddess.
No. She wouldn't let herself think that. She was content right now sitting next to her student as they watched the orange orb setting for the day, giving its final call out across the land letting all know that the her sister's night was approaching. It was a special, this moment with Twilight, and she wouldn't let any ill-thoughts ruin it.
She could feel the purple mare shift slightly next to her.
She hadn't realized just how much she missed having somepony to do things like this with. It had been a long time, so long in fact that she almost had forgotten what it was like, enjoying moments like this with another.
But she knew.
Deep down she knew that it would not last. Soon Twilight would return to her home in Ponyville and everything would go back to the way it was.
She would once again, be alone.
A small tear fell down her left cheek unknown to the mare next to her.
It was wrong. She had Luna. She had the staff at the castle. She had tons of guards that followed every move she made and many ponies greeted her every day. She was never really alone.
But none of them could ever give her the companionship that the purple mare could. She wasn't lying when she said that she had more fun this day than in the last thousand years. She learned throughout the years that they would only ever see her as their princess, or in Luna's case, a sister.
But Twilight was different. She had once thought of her as nothing more then a student, and their relationship nothing more then that of one between a mentor and her student. But something changed. Her little filly that had once hopped about in excitement at being taught lessons in magic by her mentor was now all grown up.
When she needed a pony to confide in most it was Twilight that came running to her side. Twilight had come to her just to try to cure her loneliness. And when she opened herself up to the lavender mare she took everything in without finding it strange or questioning her sanity.
Heavens know just how foolish she seemed to be acting, not that she meant to scare anypony with her behavior. Though perhaps she had gone a little overboard when she insisted in horn foiling with Twilight. She just wanted to share the joy she took in the sport with her.
She cared for this pony more than any other, more than just a student.
Yes. Twilight was so much more than that.
She didn't want Twilight to go.
Selfish
She wanted Twilight to stay there with her.
Much too selfish
She wanted to be happy again.
Like you deserve it
She had to.
Even if it was selfish.
Even if she didn't deserve it.
She had to ask.
She was tired of living her life with no one there to confide in, no one to show her true self to. She was a pony too. She had wants and needs. For a thousand years, she ruled over Equestria on her own. Why couldn't she be selfish for once? Why couldn't she get what she wanted? Why couldn't she be happy?
“Twilight,” She said, steeling herself but keeping her tone gentle and soft. Her eyes still staring off into the distant skies.
“Yes Celestia?”
“What- what would you say to staying at the castle?”
“I'd be happy to. I mean, I'm sure Spike wouldn't like me being away for much longer but I'm sure he would understand if I stayed for a little longer.”
“That's... not what I meant Twilight.”
She could practically feel the confused look that Twilight was giving her but couldn't bring herself to meet her gaze. It was important that Twilight not see the look of pain that she would most likely find there. This had to be her decision.
“I mean to move back into the castle.”
She could feel the lavender mare stiffen next to her. Well this was it. No turning back now.
“I... I would like for you live here, at the castle, with Luna and me. Like you did before you left for Ponyville.”
“Celestia... I...”
“You don't have to answer right away. I only want you to think about it. But most of all I don't want you to feel obligated to stay just because I'm a princess. I want it to be your choice. Would you do that for me Twilight?”
“Of... of course Celestia. I... I'll have to think about it, I mean, Ponyville is where all of my friends are... I can't just leave them all.”
“N-no Twilight, you're right, I could never ask you to leave your friends behind. I'm sorry.”
She couldn't do it. Twilight's friends meant the world to her, Ponyville was where she opened herself up to friendship, it was where she was happiest. She couldn't take away Twilight's happiness just to sate her own. “Please. Just forget I asked. It was just a selfish request.”
“Its okay Celestia. I won't lie. The thought of living here again had crossed my mind. It is much easier to eat food when you're not the one cooking and burning it.” The joke brought a smile to both of them. “And the library here is the biggest in Equestria, I'm sure it would take several lifetimes to read every book on its shelves.” She weighed, and then seemed to deepen in her thoughts. “And you're here.”
“Me?”
“Yes... I, well... I enjoy spending time with you...”
This caused her ears to perk up. Twilight didn't find her strange, acting this way?
“You don't mind... the way I've been acting...”
“Of course not. I'm happy that you feel okay with letting me know you so personally.” She said quickly. “Besides, its nice, talking like this. I always liked to spend time with you... but...” Her own hesitation caused her to frown.
“Its okay Twilight, you can tell me.” She encouraged giving a reassuring smile.
“...You always seemed to be busy and there was never time. Even that night at the gala...”
She didn't need to say any more. Celestia knew just how much she had disappointed Twilight that day. She had promised that they would be able to talk together that night but had failed spectacularly. She left her student to stand by her unnoticed while she greeted and talked to all the guests that attended. She had kept her promise, but it had been hollow with no real time to spare to talk with her. Her duties had cost her that night with Twilight. But at least now they had their chance.
“Then I am glad we finally got our time to talk. Because I really enjoyed your company as well.”
“Really?”
A small nod of the her head confirmed her statement and Twilight seemed to relax. Taking comfort in her words, Twilight nuzzled softly against her neck, much like she did in the past as a filly. The act was done with innocent intentions but it caused her heart to flutter a bit. Maybe loneliness was not the only reason for wanting Twilight to stay.
Twilight had said that being with her made her happy. Maybe she didn't have to ruin one happiness to get hers. Maybe they could be happy together.
But she could sort that out later. Right now she was content with enjoying this moment with Twilight.
After all, this was her favorite time of day.
Silently she wondered how Luna was doing. She would have to thank her little sister when she returned. After all, Twilight would not be here if it weren't for her.
The moon shone brightly down along the forest trees and left a silver hue glazed along the treetops as the midnight black chariot glided along the star-filled night sky. The princess of the night herself sitting with her head tilted back as two black bat winged ponies pulled the chariot through the night.
Princess Luna, having slept through most of the day as they transversed Equestria to its border, was now awake and taking in her starlit sky overhead, the moon full and white as the stars held it high. She always looked to it and marveled in the beauty that she helped create in the endless sea of stars and black. Giving the gentle light of the moon to even the farthest reaches to the world. And why not? It was what she lived for nowadays, trying to get ponies to see her night for what it truly was underneath the veil of darkness.
“A fine night to be under the stars, is it not?” She said wistfully as they flew through the cool night breeze. It was slow goings, traveling like this, she would probably make much better time even if she just used her wings and flew alone.
But ever since she returned from... being absent, she enjoyed having somepony's presence by her side. It is comforting, knowing that you are not alone. Strangely it was when she had returned that she felt alone the most. Maybe it was from the loss of everypony she knew aside from her sister a thousand years ago, or from having ponies fear her. But she always felt that something was missing. She just didn't know what that something was.
“A fine night indeed, your highness.” Came a reply from the bat-winged stallion on the left.
As her gaze dropped to the ground below something caught her attention, or rather, the lack of something. The silver gleam of the moon reflecting off the river had disappeared. No, the river itself was gone. She was sure that they had been following a river when she last looked.
After taking a more focused look she noticed that it had not vanished but was simply empty.
“Correct us if we are wrong, but did there not use to be a river here that lead into the mountains?” She asked looking down into the valley at the now empty ravine.
They were finally passing the border that defines Equestria, she had known the land very well in the past and there was definitely a river here that flowed deep into the mountains. It even looked like this river had dried up just recently. Had the river been dammed?
She always hated the dealings of court and the ponies that came with it but she remembered every project she authorized. She could not recall ever giving permission to dam up a whole river. Nor would she ever. She had seen first hand what could happen from the backlash of such a thing in her years. There was a reason that no dam in Equestria took up more that half of the river's water flow. Both her and her sister knew this well.
“I believe so. There are a few rivers that run into the mountains from Equestria and when we were planning what route to take, I noticed that we would be traveling along one of such rivers.”
Even from this distance she could she the effects it was already having on the terrain. The surrounding trees and plants were already beginning to wither away and die now that they could not obtain their daily dose of hydration. And the normal calls from the creatures that moved in the night were eerily absent.
She would have to talk to Celestia about this when she returned. Perhaps this is what the griffins wanted to talk about. If this was the river into the mountains that would mean that it was most likely part of the water supply of Griffinia.
The more she thought about it, the more she was beginning to believe that there was something wrong with all this. Why would the griffins ask for peace talks while things like this were going on?
“Nightwing. Stardust. Ye best be on thine hooves when we arrive at the meeting place.”
“Is something wrong your Highness?” he asked, instantly taking on a serious tone.
“Something tells us that this meeting is more than just a simple peace talk.” There had to be more to this then meets the eye. Even Celestia had noticed there was something amiss before she even left.
“Should we turn around, princess?” this time coming from Stardust, the mare on the right, who also wore a similar designed pair of wings like her partner. They weren't real of course, it was an enchantment built into the armor, much like the ones that her and her sister used, but it helped them to look more like the part of a nightguard giving both bat-like wings and shining yellow eyes.
Luna considered it for a moment but eventually said, “No. We will continue onward. we believe that it would be beneficial to know what this is all about.” There was more to gain if they met with them and learned what really was going on.
She was now assuming that this was trap. But then again she figured it was a trap to begin with. It is better to act with caution than not to. She couldn't just go in there without some sort of plan and hope to come out unscathed. Nor did she wish to put her guards, her children of the night, in unnecessary danger as well.
“Tell me, my nightguards. Do you trust your princess?”
“With our lives, princess.” The two replied immediately.
Luna couldn't help but grin at her faithful pair of guards. She knew that they would follow her to the gates of Tartarus and back, but it never hurt to hear it from them every once in awhile. Not that she would let any harm befall them, especially now that she had recently found out that the two shared more with each other then their job of guarding the princess.
She never felt awkward around the two or the need to dilate her speech while in their presence. Both took their title as her personal guard seriously and held it with honor. They were very kind to the children during Nightmare Night and were glad to take part in her night of scares each year with the princess. A perfect combination of seriousness and kindness. Truly these two were worth their weight in gems.
“Then I believe I have a plan.”
AUTHORS NOTE:
From now on I think I will post any notes down here instead of cluttering up the actually story.
*Sorry to all first posters*
First off, I would like to apologies to all the readers that it took me this long to get the chapter out. It should have been out 2 weeks ago but life problems held me up.
I will do my best to get the next chapter out faster but now with the fall semester coming up it may or may not affect my writing.
I also had my editor go over the first 2 chapters and edit them. So they should be much more clean cut now.
Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
Heck yeah, just came from general mumbles stuff on youtube, remembered I was going to read that RD is Celestia's protege fic, then saw a gold star, and looky up there ^ , I got second comment. (you're forgiven NeonEclipse, many readers prefer it that way)
will edit after read.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy_invert.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png
Edit: "she didn't have to use any cosmetics to look her best. She looked amazing just as she was." it is canon that she used tail extensions at least once (Gabby Gums), though it's probable she got rid of them after that.
I totally agree, just look at this:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5o4rq6fzS1rqvvxno1_500.jpg
"Was Celestia... giggling?!"; "missed the smile that began to form on the princess."dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
"After all, this was her favorite time of day." dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
"out that the two shared more with each other then their job of guarding the princess." dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
“Then I believe I have a plan.”
catpages.nwmissouri.edu/m/lindsey/images/neighteam.png
Grammar Nazi program activated... 3... 2... 1... program error... processing feedback... GNazi.exe has performed an illegal operation. GNazi.exe restarted successfully.
She wouldn't let herself think that. <probably> think about that
right now sitting >comma after now
the land letting >after land
It was a special, this moment with Twilight > was a special moment or remove a
fell down her left cheek unknown > , after cheek
lying when she said > she had said
She learned > had
that they would > that her subjects would; would be a little more clearer
loneliness. And when > . When; try not to start sentences with conjunctions, unless it it's for writing style such as "And then... .And then... .And theeeen...", like a run-on sentence with pauses for breath to tell a story from a child's POV.
Heavens know > correct verbiage, it's just more common to use "Heaven knows" for exasperation, no big deal at all
giving her but > COMMA
biggest in Equestria, I'm sure it > lol, replace the comma with a period
disappointed Twilight that day. > Technically, you could be referring to the whole day (24hrs), but night would fit what you used before and after that.
that night but > ,
her unnoticed while > DO OVER
Silently she > "Once more, with feeling." Achievement Unlocked: dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
hydration. And the > . The
of a nightguard giving > ,
Grammar Nazi scan complete. iloveportalz0r would be proud.
Lastly, while having Celestia think of Twilight by name over and over again may seem boring, referring to somepony by their physical traits can seem worse. Could you imagine thinking of your friends by their skin color and gender in your head?
Sorry for taking up so much space. I'll delete all the corrections when you say so in order to shorten the comment. I hope my criticisms can be taken with a desert of salt as I am definitely not a perfect writer. I tried to throw some humor in with them to sweeten the bitterness.
100 years without taking off regalia... just how?
Very cool. I really like how Twilight and Celestia are opening up to each other. How long till Twilight just builds a Teleportal so she can pop into Ponyville whenever she wants.
After finishing taking their orders the mane scurried away, not willing to stay for longer than necessary in the room. Thus leaving just her and the princess alone.
souldnt it be mare??
and amazing chapter cant wait for more
1165802
Why... how...
(fixed)
thank you for pointing that out.. I have know idea how I miss these things..
1165775
In public*
of course she takes it off when she sleeps and bathes
Yay! New chapter! Thanks a lot! Things are starting to get gewd! (Or would that be gewder? Hmm...)
1165818 no prob
I'm still waiting for Celestia and Twilight to stop beating around the bush, damn you good shippers, building suspence and relationship before anything good happens!
Great chapter! I liked the balcony scene. It was nice to see Celestia less 'untouchable' as it were. I also like the fact that Celestia asked her to stay. Very nicely done.
i smell shit storm when luna tells Celestia this
Good story, look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work
AN UPDATE!
I was just thinking about this fic. I'm glad Twilight and Celestia both admitted that they like being around each other. Now they just have to admit how they truly feel about each other.
It also looks like the effects of the dam being built are being felt. There was a reason Celestia said no. Now how will Celestia find out about it. I have a feeling Luna will be otherwise occupied.
Awwwww helll it gonna get pretty nasty soon enough when the unauthorized damming of that river is brought to light. Best hope that the ones responsible don't get it into their heads to try and oh I don't know.......kidnap a certain unicorn to keep the princesses under control -pretty sure Twi makes as good a shield against Luna as against Celestia-
New chapter. It was rather good, i enjoyed it, can't wait for the next!
Another great chapter, please keep up the good work.
I was beginning to worry about a lack of update, and that such a promising story would fall by the wayside like so many others.
The story is great and you do such a good job with the character interactions. You have Twilight dead-on, and you do an excellent job exploring Celestia when she's relaxed. It took a little bit for the story to find that "rhythm" that makes a story go from good to great, but I think you nailed with the Horn Foiling. The action was well done and reminded me a lot of how R.A. Salvatore does his action sequences.
Luna's side jaunt was well done as well. Her mannerisms and the guards were done well. I'd like to see how they wreak hell upon the damn dam.
Ultimately, the journey is always worth more then the destination, and this is a hell of a ride. There is a ton of potential as well, but the focus on Twilestia was so good. Thank you for doing this story.
With that said, MOAR!!!
Excellent story, keep up the good work. On a side note...leave it to a corrupt politician to screw things up is a nice touch of realism.
aww sweet. I love the pacing of this, it gives you enough time to savor the twilestia!
“I thought my sister might have had a hand in you coming here. It would seem that my own problems had her worrying about me.”
What's wrong with that sentence?
What a story! Lovin' it!
Have my thumb-up AND my fave! >:C
I like the story a great deal, but have you ever considered asking somebody as a story-board aide? there are a lot of things, especially in the earlier chapters that could have a lot more impact if a few things were altered slightly (points at self )
"It's a trap!" I cannot believe I just typed that.
Every time I read the comments, I realise just how many mistakes I miss...
Sigh. I'm glad I could help though. Try not to take such a long time for your next one Neon, I think I've been kidnapped enough times by distressed fans.
I'll see you soon.
Your crappy editor,
Inumaniac
Highly entertaining, especially with both Twilight and Celestia wanting to ask the other for more.
I doubt Celestia goes haywire when she figures out the dam has been build.
Now that Twilight is with her, she has calmed down alot.
And remember it isn't an adventure story
Anyway good chapter. And indeed every 2 weeks would be more enjoyable instead of reread the previous chapter :)
1168028
I think the opposite. Twilight's presence has made Celestia more honest with herself and made her feel like she doesn't have to act perfect all the time. Therefore when she learns about the dam she'll have no problem demonstrating just how angry she is. Possibly by hurling said dam into her sun.
1169429
1165899
why do you repeat yourself?
So great want more when gonna get more. MOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*Waiting for the moment Celesita storms the ass who built the damn.
"Hello princess, like my damn?"
"No. Tear it down."
"B-b-but...I have money!"
"Hey, do you like bananas?"
1170382 Accidental double post
DAM!
Forgot about that thing--and it all was progressing so happily, too. Oh well, all the emotional turmoil I'm sure you'll put us through will be worth it when we get to see that stinking mayor get his neck wrung. So cannot wait for that.
Keep it up!
Hey! Those Aholes put up the dam didn't they? Well looks like Luna's going to have to burn it down.
Listening to those two, I'm reminded of another twilestia fic. To quote it, "[They've] both turned self-sacrifice into a vanity."
D'aaaawwww Celestia is so happies now.
Sorta.
Kinda.
Still on the ropes though
1171044
how do you do an accidental dopple-post which is a few hours away??
I want nazis
I DEMANDS MOOOOOAAAARRRRR that is if its ok...
Yes, another update, this is gonna be good.
*reads*
SHIT'S GOING DOWN!!!!
I'm going to separate myself from the crowd here and say that while I love your story, I do not like this unauthorized river dam subplot you've got going here. I feel like it detracts from the primary focus f the story, that being the Twilestia, and is overall unnecessary. I mean, I came to this story as a bit of an introduction to Twilestia, myself being a primarily Twiluna shipper, and I don't much care for the political intrigue you're starting to mix in. Make no mistake; I will continue ie reading this no matter where you take it. It is, after all, the story that got me interested in Twilestia in the first place. I just thought I'd share my thoughts on what I consider to be the weakest link in your story.
Keep up the great work! I look forward to your next update.
1165950
That can't smell good...
Man, the comic I've been working on has put a delay on me reading this so I was pretty hype when I began reading this and holy balls you did not disappoint.
I cannot wait for the next chapter.
1178046
I can see your point and understand it, but personally speaking, there maybe a few ways that could go down that'll add a nice twist to the story. I wasn't a fan of it at first, but figuring Luna doing a fly over, given her nature and the fact that Celestia is bound to bend somebody as a result, I went from meh to intrigued.
I'm sure it'll tie together so I'm giving Neon some creative license with this. For a first fic (if I remember right), watching the growth of the story has been a delight.
Can't wait for the next chapter
*Squeels like a little girl* OH MY GOD A NEW CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god I hope this doesent turn dark. There's enough edgy stuff out there. But reguardless, enjoying the building feelings between Celestia and Twilight.
Now if you'll excuse me.....
puu.sh/12axg
*runs away*
Really looking forward to more.
Yay! The fun is about to be doubled! ;-3
Must have moar!
Thumbs up, favorited, watched, tracked, all that jazz. Eagerly awaiting further installments!
What I like about this fic in particular is the way you've explicitly made Celestia non-divine. She's powerful and ancient (immortal/ageless or at least extremely long-lived) yet she admits directly that she's no goddess. Most Twilestia fics explore the age difference (mortal vs ageless) but few really delve into mortal nature vs. divinity. This story neatly avoids it by doing away with the latter, which serves to make Celestia's behavior more understandable. Also, nice touch with the manes, having the illusory aspects tied to the royal regalia.