Heart of Winter

by Dr.Shisno

Author Notes

Thanks for hanging in for this wild ride. I hope you enjoyed it, I for one did. Personally, this has been (to date) my favorite story to write. Hands down.

Bear (ha, bear) with me as i ramble and explain Heart of Winter.
I apologize upfront for the massive amount of parenthesis's and brackets, and then the random comments in those parenthesis's and brackets.

This is the first story i've done where complete detailed outlines of the chapters. (i usually write the first things that come to mind and continue on from there). So that says something.

The writing style (the spoken broken English) benefited how i write. I've been known to drop words completely, and writing how a Russian may speak English sometimes (a bad stereotype i may add, that no way reflects on every Russian) [YAY, political correctness] just seemed to compliment the (horrible) way i write.

Start with a bit of background for this story. The idea came to me after reading a fanfic from here (Through the Eyes of Another Pony Chapter 15: Flutterfall) and also reading Equations of Life by Simon Morden (along with the other books in the Samuil Petrovich series {great books, i may add}) [also the recent purchase of a mosin-nagant and love for vodka other finer things helped]. A Russian character had to be my next one. It was just inevitable.

It was the idea of making a character somewhat of a polar opposite from the pony i was going to throw into the mix (actually did start off as Flutters, but Rarity just fit more for what I was trying accomplish). I wanted to create a character that was believable. Who believed in better things, the honor/motherland idea, but skeptical. I wanted a harsh character at a moral impasse. So Arkady was born. He still held on to the honor and the ideals of old, but was tired of the perversion that these ideals as they were now. I wanted his character and Rarity's to be at odds. At any given moment. Rarity, the high maintence drama queen who's idea of camping is three star hotel. And then Arkady, who could probably make a bar of soap last six months. They just seemed like opposite sides of the spectrum. And i do believe it worked. (a bit better than other romances i have written up) and boy, it was a joy to write (the scene where Twilight is merely the observer in the bistro while the two bicker just flowed with ease). Also the fact of Arkady being generous, while Rarity herself is the element of generousity plays just a small role.

So, over the course of the story, the english (both how Arkady speaks and how the story is actually written) is supposed to get better. How Arkady becomes more civilized (or at least cultured) in a sense. Along with how Arkady's feelings of protector and of lover fluctuate, eventually ending on lover. (cause i'm some closest romantic who like the happy ending, while most Russian fairy tales do end very tragically. I mean really, the Snow Maiden tale? There's like four different versions and they all end, to the best of my knowledge, with the Snow Maiden dying.)

This is also the first time i used chapter titles (not just numbered) for a story. From chapter one to six (monday, fireside chats, acting lessons, still alive, Not one step back, thaw) the titles were themes. Usually a word that significant in the chapter or was a big part of the chapter itself. Not one step back and thaw were more theme based (the former being the start of the journey and the latter being the beginning of the romance between Rarity and Arkady [i.e the thawing of Arkady's heart]). The remaining chapters were titles to songs that had significant impact on the writing of that chapter or had a message that was significant in the lyrics itself. The Grey - Icon for Hire. Far From Home - Five Finger Death Punch. Wonderful Life - Alter Bridge. Shine On - Jet. Broken Hearts and Torn Up Letters (and the Story of a Lonely Girl) - Lostprophets. Far and Away- Slash Feat. Myles Kennedy. (The final chapter went through at three title changes, which include: Apologies, Glances, Messed Up Second Chances - Lostphrophets and My Heart - Paramore. Both songs delievered the message i was going for, just Far and Away seemed to do it the best). I do recommend looking up these songs (at least the lyrics) just to get an idea of the theme of each chapter is supposed to feel.

The Chapter Broken Hearts/Torn Up Letters was never intended. Just a wild idea that was posed as the first part to two part epilogue, i guess the "human" part of the story. (which doesn't quite make sense for the two could've been published together instead of split up, but just makes up for added story. Yes. Filler. Sue me)

Tying the story into the OST arc took a bit of spontaneity (bit of writing genius, but only a small amount, minute amount even). And i have thought this one ahead that, i believe, not many people saw it coming (at least how it happened). [Just for clarification, timeline wise {also time is not made out of lines, it is made out of circles, that's why clocks are round} this story takes place before OST, touches base on the first chapter of OST, and finishes in the final-ish chapter of that story.] And it gets me all giddy (yes, giddy. Like a small child. I had a giggle many times) on the inside about all this. And finally hashing it all out, sitting back, and realizing i may have blew a few minds.

I think that's one of the joys i get out of writing and that's the reader response. You guys. You people who read this story are the reasons i write and post stories. (i think it has something to do with ego, but i digress). Which is also why i love cliffhangers and leading you on with how the story went. (i hope you all are the understanding type.)

Big thanks to J_Xayph for working with my stubborn ass and editing this work and many of my other works, along with providing his opinion and ideas with me. He's a gentleman, a scholar, and he sure as hell gets the job done.

Anyways, i think i rambled on enough.
auf wiedersehen, do svidaniya, au revior, till the next sequel one

Doc

Comments

[djthomp]

That was a lot of fun to read, thanks for sharing this story with us.

[thewookie1]

Bravo good sir, bravo!

I wonder what that next adventure implies aside from them being together. 1 year later would put it at what point in OST?

[halo003qd]

I see you have learned all you need to know about time from the right Blue source.

[Thibi]

Glad to hear that you're still planning to continue with another one!

[RoboRed]

I can't wait for the "next one".

[TacoTown]

loved it..

[somethingelse logaf]

Yes

[Dr.Shisno]

3122338 i1263.photobucket.com/albums/ii633/TallyBean18/GIF/tumblr_m9117kidy61qkee8fo1_500.gif

[clonezero]

Thank goodness I've finally got the time to read this and that ending simply made me want to read more! Please make a sequel, even just a small one so we know what happens XX.

[Agarwaen]

As much as I would like to, I have no small, plastic Rarities to send you.

All I have is Pinkie Pies, so many infact, that I cannot hold them all (tee hee, meme reference).

Anyway. Well done, and I like your creative solution to your weakness with language (do not take this as an insult; it is not nor will it ever be one). Knowing and working around one's weaknesses is a true measure of wisdom and intelligence.

-M@

[Octavia Harmony]

3149449 Wait... you can life 150 kg? Huh.

[Toast]

Loved the first. Loved this as well. I feel like an idiot for not reading it sooner.
I love happy endings.

[DoomPony]

Very nice story.

Hopefully you feel like continuing this saga. I would read it in an instant!

[Stargazer27]

**possible spoilers**

*Keep in mind that this critique is for professional constructive purposes, not trolling. Take it or ignore it, that's up to you.*

Overall Score: 8/10
Good: Arkady is as solid as OC's come.
Bad: With practically nothing standing in their way, what development bloomed in the beginning hid in a corner somewhere and STAYED there.

Arkady is one kickass character. Seriously. Everything about him was perfect during his introductory chapters. And I loved it when Arkady labeled Princess Celestia as "Mother Winter".

This was definitely better than better One Soldier's Twilight, pitting upper-class Rarity against the harsh cold winters of Russia. I'll admit, it did bring a nostalgic grin to my face reading about Twilight again. But just like in OST, this one fell short in the character development department. Rarity and Arkady had a long voyage to find a way back to Equestria, and barely anything happened. The two squabble alot, and other people see what they don't, yeah yeah, we get it. And what about those men that Arkady took care of in the beginning? No one is pursuing them? The trip went on without a hitch where tension via some sort of external force could have blockaded their path. Border Patrol? Mafia? Wolves? One of Arkady's friends turn traitor? A freak storm? Something?

The point is, the story began as an adventure but continued on and ended like a soap opera. With lack of conflicts, there is nothing compelling the reader to continue. The characters in the end were changed from how they were before, but there's not much to go on to show it. Let conflicts happen, and SHOW us, as opposed to a bunch of dialogues and conversations, who these characters are, and how they've changed or are continuing to change.

Despite it's flaws, it was a good read. Well done.

[sevantes21]

This was beautiful. I almost passed this by and continued with your main story. The dialog and narrative kept me firmly planted in the story. Though I do agree with some of the others about needing some more external forces moving against the pair to really pull to the forefront your OC's protectorate role. Maybe issues with the pilot they were staying with for weeks while waiting on the blizzard to pass. Or stumbling across someone else in dire need of saving. Still though this was an amazing story. I usually don't post comments unless I really feel the story and you brought the feels.