A Simple Problem

by Collins4112

Cheat

The clouds hung low over Ponyville. It was overcast with rain to come later in the day. The ponies were mostly keeping to their business and not much socialization to avoid getting caught in the rain. A warm breeze blew through the town, rustling the trees leaves and pushing wind chimes to sing random notes. The town market had just regulars passing through to pick up their daily allotment of groceries.

A few fillies and colts gathered at the sweets shop known as Sugar Cube Corner. Using their parent's bits to buy sugary confections that without proper brushing would rot teeth and that is where our oral hero makes her living.

Colgate or Dr. Colgate as her patients and dental hygienists called her owned the most successful dental office in all of Ponyville. It was the most successful mostly because there was no other dental office in town. Her office was strategically placed across market square from the sweets shop that brought her so much business. Colgate particularly working with young ponies, so she could change their brushing habits before they had their adult teeth in. It made her feel like she was actually doing something to help the community.

Colgate had her medical mask slid down around her neck. She gave the little filly she was leaning over a gentle smile: she had to be very careful with children, she wanted them to look forward to check-ups not be terrified of the dentist.

"You've been brushing very well, haven't you Dinky?" Colegate asked. The gray filly was leaning back in the chair, her mouth wide as Colgate examined her teeth. Dinky nodded a smile on her face... well as much as smile one can have with a wide open mouth. "Let's bring your mother in so I can tell her what a good girl you are."

"Ms. Mint, can you get Dinky's mom in here?" The blue oral doctor asked her hygienist, who nodded and trotted towards the waiting room. Dinky closed her mouth before the chair started to lift the chair to its default position and bring the small unicorn to a sitting position. Colgate rummaged through the drawers to find a tooth brush, some floss sticks, and a cheap toy. "This is for being a very good girl, and you should replace your old tooth brush with this new one, okay?"

"Okay!" Dinky held on tightly to the items that the older unicorn had given her. Two sets of hoof steps walked towards the cube office. A grey pegasus with a blond mane stood in the entryway to the office.

"I have good news, Dinky has excellent brushing habits." Dr. Colgate informed Ditzy Doo. The single mother smiled as her daughter rolled out of the chair and levitated the toothbrush, floss, and toy into her mother's saddle bags.

"Why don't you run along Dinky, I need to talk to Dr. Colgate for a little while?" Ditzy asked. Dinky nodded and scampered out of the office. "Thanks for doing this Colgate."

"Don't worry about it." Colgate responded. Ditzy tilted her head downward and pawed at the floor. Colgate had done a check up on Dinky for free, and Colgate supposed that is what must be grating on Ditzy's mind. "Hey, Ditzy, times are tough, it was no trouble at all to do this, especially for you."

"Thanks...you're a good friend." Ditzy mumbled she hated having things given to her; it made her feel like ponies thought couldn't take care of herself. After a while of chatting, Ditzy said: "Hey, I got to run, thanks again."

"No problem." The blue mare said, before her friend dashed off. Colgate looked at a clock that was mounted on the wall. It was closing time. The paper mask was thrown into the trash, and she brushed out her mane to its regular position. Each one of her three dental hygienists told her they would see her tomorrow and then left to their personal lives. Colgate shut down everything, and locked up the place.

The oral doctor trotted down the street a while before coming up to a modest, yet cozy cottage style house. A porch was attached to the side of the house, and often served as a place for get together with her friends. A brick chimney added to the cottage look of the house as well as cobble stone path that led to the front door.

Colgate walked quickly into her house; she had a date tonight with her coltfriend: Thunderlane. They had been seeing each other for a little over a mouth. The couple had met when Colgate had been called to the hospital to examine a serious case of gum diesis. He had been sick with feather flu, and their first meeting was anything but romantic.

Colgate spruced herself up a bit, adding a little blue foundation to make her face look flawless, and adding earrings that were the same color as her eyes. She flashed her most attractive smile in the mirror; the teeth flashed a perfect white and her teeth all fit together perfectly, no gaps or misalignments. She let a sugarless mint dissolve on her tongue.

The bell ran out seven times, before Colgate ran at a gallop to get the restaurant that she would be nesting her coltfriend.

"Hey, 'Lane." Colgate greeted. She put on a warm smile. He smiled back with such warmth that she felt almost like her smile was inadequate.

"Hey, Colgate." Thunderlane replied. The blue mare gave him a questing look; he usually never called her Colgate, usually some silly nickname. The hostess came to lead them to their table. The restaurant was one they had been to many times, a nice ma and pa kind of place that served good home style meals.

"How was work today?" Colgate started the conversation as she looked through the very familiar menu. She thought she would have roasted squash with a berry salad.

"It was a long day bringing all those clouds to hang over town. Especially when the weather manager is 'out sick'." He said sarcastically. Colgate giggled. The waiter came along and took their orders. "How about yours?"

"Oh, you know, the usual, telling ponies that they should brush in small circles, or use floss more often, or remind them to use an approved tooth paste and not baking soda." Colgate explained her rather predictable day, but Thunderlane always looked interested.

"I bet somepony listened to your advice." He smiled. "You are a doctor after all."

Colgate would have nuzzled him if she wasn't across the table from him. After a bit of relaxed conversation their food arrived. Colgate took. Precise controlled bites, but Thunderlane was not so precise to say the least. He wasn't sloppy, per se, just less clean than his marefriend.

After they finished their meals, they continued their conversation. "So, what do you want to do after this?"

"I was thinking we could swing by the video store, rent a movie, and then go back to my place to watch it." Thunderlane suggested.

"Sounds nice, any good movies out?" The doctor wasn't usually one for movies, but she shrugged the thought off. Thunderlane listed off some of the movies that he knew, most of them didn't sound like the type of thing Colgate would want to watch.

After paying the bill, Thunderlane paid like a gentlecolt and they walked out into the night. The clouds were cleared from the sky reveling a starry night that went unpolluted by light.

"It's sure is a nice night." Colgate observed the sky.

"The stars are sure shining... like your smile." Thunderlane complimented. A slight rose red came to the mare's face. She leaned over and graced his cheek with a light kiss.

They swung by the video rental place. The lights were just a bit too harsh and it gave the place a feeling that they wanted you in and out a quick as possible. The selection of movies was mediocre at best with most of the titles just being monster verses some other monster, or cheesy musicals.

"Have you seen anything good?" Thunderlane asked, rubbing his head in frustration.

Colgate shook her head, sending her two colored mane swaying. "Unless we want generic monster one versus generic monster two."

Thunderlane laughed, as Colgate looked back at her hourglass cutie mark. Many ponies questioned why she was a dentist when her cutie mark was an hour glass. As a little filly Colgate loved having her teeth white as possible so she made sure to brush her teeth right on time, morning and night like clockwork. Eventually it just appeared after she rinsed out her mouth with mouth wash.

Her coltfriend put a hoof on her flank, causing a flare of blush to appear on the doctor's face, and leaned in close to whisper: "I'm sure we could find something other than a movie to entertain us..."

Colgate's eyes dilated as her face started to burn up. They had never gotten physical in their relationship...and she was quite sure if she was ready. He had never made any sort of commitment to her, and she was hoping he would before they got to that point.

Yet, she was feeling particularly frisky that night and responded: "Somepony's frisky... I like that."

After a bit of trying to hide a bit of giggling, they rushed out of the store and made their way quickly through the streets. They closer they got to his house, the faster her heart raced. She felt an animalistic urge to do what nature intended. Wasting no time, they kissed with a deep passion that made Colgate's knees weak and feel like a colony of butterflies were living in her stomach. He ran his hooves over her body in a way that made her shiver with excitement.

The pair somehow found their way to the bedroom, even in there passionate embrace.

"Hey there, big boy." A voice made the pair stop. Thunderlane's eyes went wide with a definite gleam of guilt in them. Colgate turned her head towards the voice. She and the voice gasped as they saw each other. In the bed was a pegasus with a light orange coat and a green mane. She was laying pin up style on the bed, but her face had the same shocked expression that Colgate supposed she had on.

"Who is that?" Both mares shouted. If looks could kill Thunderlane would have been disintegrated on the spot he stood.

"Uhhhh... I can explain." He stuttered. The light orange mare rolled out of bed and stomped over to the cheating stallion. "I love you both?"

What he got in repose was a kick to a stallion's most sensitive area, and two mares leaving his house. The mares said nothing to each other and just went there separate ways.

That's when the emotion hit the dentist. A deep rolling sadness overcame her. How could I have been so stupid! I should have suspected something sooner. I was about to let him... The cheating, no good, stallion wanted me as a booty call. Colgate wallowed in self-pity. Too distraught to find her way home she found a green patch of soft grass and sat on her haunches. Emotion welled up inside of her as she shouted curses up towards the cloudless night. Eventually she got all of the anger out of her body and all that was left was a sort of hollow emptiness.

"That's it!" The dentist shouted to the world. She had had enough, no more dating. No more attempts at loving somepony. After years of trying to find a mate, stallion or mare, she was unable to go on with the search, everyone hurt in some special way and Colgate decided she could live without a romantic relationship with anypony.

No matter how attractive, smart, or kind a pony might be she would not be getting involved with them. She could find...other ways to get around any urges she might feel. Colgate set the plan in her mind, and she vowed to herself that she would stick to it. She got up off her haunches and trotted down the road and to her house.

I hoped you liked it. I really appreciate the time you took to read this story and I also appreciate those who choose to review. What is next in the life of Ponyville's dentist, will she stick to her plan, or find that special somepony? Stay tuned.

Comments

[sierra_seven_]

Not bad! Seems Colgate fics are getting more popular, I know mine went down well Good job though, Colgate seems pretty in-character (canon-wise, I doubt there's enough of her in the series to give away her personality!) Keep it up!

[Fimbulvinter]

Seems like a good start.
There havn't been many good Colgate fics for a while, Lets see where this one goes.

[azednew]

Moar. 'Nuff said.

[Fimbulvinter]

1048292 I am reading yours right now. It is exempt from above comment.
Brushie, Brushie.

[Green_Hooves]

Why must you be such a brilliant writer?!

[PonIver]

Some thoughts. Don't take this as me deriding you, just personal observances.

First, while it's not horridly outstanding, the story suffers moderate grammar issues. Particularly in the use (or lack thereof) of commas. I say this a lot (and I mean it, so take this seriously) but the best way to learn them is to read your work aloud, as it it written on the page, word for word. If you feel the need to pause, you should have a comma there. If you're unsure, read again without pausing and see if it sounds right.

Second, I find the intro a bit weak. It does nothing to grab the reader, just describes the setting without having anythin interesting to say. I believe the saying is that is has 'too much tell, not enough show'.

Third, the story transitions from one scene to the next a bit abruptly. Particularly between dinner and the video rental store. Use the space to have some exposition. Let us know more on the characters feelings and thoughts instead of the actions taking place.

That aside, you've got a cute idea here. Some good lines, but they have trouble standing out among the rest of the fic due to pacing. Keep working at it, and this is sure to be something great.

Good luck!

[Collins4112]

1048811 You know what? I really appericate that, I do suppose I should have looked it over more closely

[iloveportalz0r]

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_bedroomeyes.png

[DreadedCandiru2]

Hmmm. Let's see where Colgate's road leads her. Let's also hope that the two catty Earth ponies from Gentle Red don't put in their two cents' worth.

[Bronyhood of steel]

not bad

[XwingedwolfieX]

Nice story, short and sweet.