Dear Princess Fever Dream,
I had a bad day today. I got made fun of by children this morning. They called my horn fat. This upset me because they clearly weren’t taught proper anatomy. At the very least, a kindergartner could say it’s a protrusion of bone with a thin layer of skin covering it and be technically correct. There’s no room for fat. Why couldn’t they understand this?
I tried explaining things to them, but then they called me a stupid dumb. I almost couldn’t believe the inaccuracies coming from their mouths. I take pride in my brain being my one semi-redeeming feature, so being called stupid was genuinely hurtful. I offered to make an incision along my horn to show them that there was no fat, but then they said they didn’t want to see my fat, ugly horn.
So now my horn was fat and ugly, along with me being stupid. I went crying to Trixie because she’s used to being made fun of, and she told me I needed thicker skin if I wanted to survive around foals. Being as dumb as I am (not stupid), I took this literally and made my skin a half-inch thicker and two shades more purple. I couldn’t blink anymore, but that’s what magic is for. My horn, now actually looking fat, was held high as I waddled back to the park.
They made fun of me again, and I ran crying back to Trixie a second time. I spent the rest of the day undoing my rhino skin instead of what I had planned. About an hour into it, I realized Anon and Dash had snuck in and were throwing darts into my cutie mark while I couldn’t feel anything. They said it was funny because it was, but I made them stop anyway.
The only upsides today were the pity kisses from Trixie and the additional knowledge that artificially thickening one’s skin does not lead to an increased tolerance for emotional pain. Maybe I’ll find a spell for that, or I might need to make one. Either way, it’s a long way out. In the meantime, I’ll just avoid foals like my restraining order says.
Your endangered species,
Twhinoceros
Protip: Do not encourage the purplest Twilight to deaden her emotional reactions. This leads to even greater atrocities.
Twice the purple!
o god she's going to research changelings and the ripping out of emotions, isn't she? this can only end well
10717473
She will ask Chrysalis or another changeling, especially a certain one in Ponyville, to constantly drain her so she won't feel emotions XD
1. Twilight and Trixie were lowkey cute here.
2. She had restraining orders against foals BEFORE this?
Oh yay, this is back!
What a wonderful way to start my day.
The Twinocerous part got me.
Hehehe.
Piggly Twiggly.
Goddammit Annon, why did you let Purple make herself even more Purple? That can't end well, EVER. You're damn lucky the only thing hurt were her feelings.
Also kinda doomed because now she'll do something about that and only the sheer sensation of wrongness that'll come from not feeling anything for Trixie anymore will make her go back.
That'll make show horse sad, so you should feel bad about it. There'll also be some atrocities made when autismo horse can't feel even the modicum of restraint she has now, so that's on you too.
I.e. correct way was to call her "big boned"?
Honestly, at this point even children should understand that Twiggles is unhinged and dangerous.
Which she couldn't feel.
Ah, I love this. Twhinoceros.
anon is right. throwing darts into an unfeeling twilight is hilarious!
I love this.
I love you.
10717575
That’s gay, bro.
ily2
must be nice to have a story so popular it reaches featured every time it updates
Love this, all the homo.
How’s it possible for someone to become more purple then Twilight already was?
10717508
Have you even read these letters? Purple has multiple sets of restraining orders and bans on specific types of magic.
Unfortunately, it seems stopping Purple from purpling is a futile exercise.
10717594
Anytime a story gets into the Featured box it'll go back in every time they update. Every time. How long it stays in there depends on the other two stories in the slots reserved for updates. It could go directly into the last slot and be out within 20 minutes if a more popular story gets updated within that time frame.
>they said it was funny because it was
Infallible logic
We are doomed, are we?
Good to see another update for this story!
I enjoyed reading it.
What does purple becoming more even look like ultra purple
... so is which is Princess Fever Dream?
Because it sounds like Luna, given dreams, regardless of the source, are her dominion.
Oh wow my sides!
10717613
It's been a long time since the last update. I may have forgotten some stuff.
10717448
Just ask Purplecon, aka Shockwave.
10717903
Maybe it's for boffum
Fever being Sunny
Dream being Loony
10717242
If it wasn't clear, I also didn't use the letter in that comment. It was meant to be an overarching joke lol
10718040
fuck me
God help us if Twilight ever gets to thinking on the expression "two heads are better than one". Or "killing two birds with one stone" while on a trip to Griffinstone.
I've missed this.
10717998
What's wrong with making a religion with yourself as its evil god in order to manipulate all of history, cause war both externally and internally of your own society, and all but directly causing the creation of a facsimile of your culture's version of Satan all as a social experiment to see if you can cause your race to become the perfect conquerors by systematically tearing down everything they believe in and destroying their homeworld so they have no choice but to steal someone else's? I see nothing wrong with that whatsoever. :P
10718244
Plus there was that attempt to collapse the universe into a power source for your time locked homeworld, which required sucking the life out of another universe first.
Sometimes a poorly-thought-out insult is worse. At least put some effort into it! I'm insulted by how bad your insult is!
Let me know how the spell to make one less emotionally vulnerable goes. It might let me use social media again.
10718040
I see you like to stick with the theme of the letter. How do you feel with the prospect of conversing without the first vowel in English speech? Does it feel tedious? Enlightening? Possibly indifferent or mediocre? Some feel like it’s silly to purposely forgo the letter. I just find it interesting.
10719238
It is quite the experience indeed. It sure is quite tedious looking for specific words without the removed letter, moreso since English is truly not my mother tongue, but I do feel these sort of exercises benefits my proficiency in English.
10719264
10719238
I just thought of that cool occasion in which an author linguistically built a book without a fairly common, or in auxiliary locution, most common sound forming symbol that is part of a word in Anglo-saxon origin non-logographic scripts that consists not of any standard syllabary form.
10718042
Kinky.
00_10_20_30_40_50_60_70_80_90
01_11_21_31_41_51_61_71_81_91
02_12_22_32_42_52_62_72_82_92
03_13_23_33_43_53_63_73_83_93
04_14_24_34_44_54_64_74_84_94
05_15_25_35_45_55_65_75_85_95
06_16_26_36_46_56_66_76_86_96
07_17_27_37_47_57_67_77_87_97
08_18_28_38_48_58_68_78_88_98
09_19_29_39_49_59_69_79_89_99
Also I am sorry. It had to be done. (The kinky message, not the sdorwkcab numbers.
10735609
dafak is this?