Someday, I'll stop writing silly comedy stories. However, today isn't "someday".
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Spike learned years ago that he came from an egg. However, he was never told where foals come from.
To find out, he asked the pony that hatched him, Twilight Sparkle, the question of how foals are born.
Long story short: Rarity had to get involved. Not because she wanted to.
Last but far from least, special thanks to TheBrokenBrony for proofreading this story.
EDIT: featured through 3/11/21-3/13/21!!
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Hey, alicorns come from eggs too. And the Royal Guard are actually dragon's teeth planted under moonlight, and Flurry Heart is actually a star. Would I lie to you?
Typical sex then a baby is born cuz they reproduced end of story lol
OH. MY. GOD. YOU ARE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS FOR THE PERFECT RANDOM COMEDY STORY.
Haha, I now have the pleasure of being first like!
This was such a good story, I was waiting for this, and I was not disappointed!
10717460
media4.giphy.com/media/26gsuPrk8hCyp5v5C/giphy.gif
F**k, a stallion takes his d**k and shove it inside a mare pu**y and pound her till he c*ms inside; his sperm fertilizind her eggs, getting pregnant.
The baby grows inside the mare and after 11 months, the mare gives birth by pushing the foal out of our vaginas.
(Spike fainted)
be funnier if spike knew and was the one to actually explain it, he literally grew up in library both in canterlot and ponyville, he probably read most books out of bored curiosity
I read a high school biology book when I was 4, as well as lots of nature shows that showed EVERYTHING IN CLOSEUP DETAIL. I swear, they zoomed in on purpose.
I was never innocent. (This explains everything Alondro…) Also I'm from New Jersey. (And this explains everything ELSE Alondro…)
10717460
Depends: you want my honest answer or to say "no"?
10717464
And don't forget the fainting!
10717465
10717470
Thanks, and glad you enjoyed the story!
10717479
10717568
Rarity would never live it down if she did say it that say and was overheard!
10717610
It's something I don't have to worry about. I got no kids, and I'm very likely going to keep it that way.
10717646
I actually read a couple of stories that had that happen. As a general rule, if I see something done in another user's story, unless I can add either a twist or more to it, I won't do it myself. If I used the idea of Spike telling Twilight, it would have basically been those same stories I read that already did it.
10717674
still the idea of spike correct both of them that mares do have eggs in there wombs and then given a detailed explanation on the whole process would be funny, but hey props on you for trying to do your own thing
10717677
Thanks. The idea is funny though, so if I had either put those stories I read in a bookshelf or remember the name, I would link it here so you could read them, if you didn't already.
You know, for some reason, when I saw this story featured, I half-glanced at it and read the title as "Tirek gives 'the Talk'", damn, now I want to know what Tirek's sex-ed class would be like.
10717728
That comment gave me a big laugh!
10717659
I don't think I was innocent either. I don't remember when I learned, but I think I learned where reading through some medical books when I was bored and I wasn't a teen yet.
10717782
Thanks, and I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy my stories!
10717902
And now the image of Tirek trying to give Twilight "The Talk" as they try to blow each other's heads off is in my head. Hmm...
Filly Twilight face at the end is indeed a very compelling argument
10717460
It's always so hard to tell with you.
But what happens when Spike discovers clop?
Kind of want an alternate version where alicorns actually lay eggs and Celestia is just as in the dark about more normal ponies.
Very cute, but also hilarious. A fun read for sure
I half-expected Celestia to be as innocent as Twilight in the subject.
"Why did you tell Twilight ponies come from eggs, Princess?"
"Because they do."
Imagine Luna's reaction. An over one thousand years old lie ended, when the younger sister educates the older one.
Wait... Wait a fucking second... So you're saying... There's no eggs...
10718650
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/350807/twilight-sparkle-lays-an-egg
10718091
And adorable
10718338
He'll probably either like it or pass out...and then pass out again.
10718650
I'm not really sure how that would work, since they are hardly any alicorns for Celestia to think it. That's something I might could pull off in a story with some alicorn OCs, or a story where Starswirl the Bearded told her, and she thought it ever since.
10718810
Thanks, and glad you liked the story!
10718852
I didn't think about that when I was writing it, and it would be funny. But even if I thought about it, to me, it would also feel a little too unbelievable with Celestia being over 1,000 years old, and even more unbelievable if Luna somehow knew, but not Sunbutt. Even Twilight not knowing where foals come from, without a reason, feels borderline unbelievable (but funny) which was part of the reason it was justified in this story.
On a side note, I did wonder about actually having foals come from eggs and have Rarity be the one that was wrong when I was editing the story.
10718955
Eeyup, no eggs...or is it?
You know just for fun. Twilight should gather her family together plus Cadance and asked all four of them where foals come from, without letting them know that she already knows.
Celestia may be a second mother figure to Twilight, but it is their responsibility to give Twilight "the talk" not Celestia or Rarity....or Cadance, actually its the parents responsibility really.
And with all four of them in a room together, they can't used the asked someone else excuse.
I can understand Celestia forgetting about it, but whats Velvet and Nightlight excuse? They clearly told Shining no doubt at a certain aged. So why not Twilight when she got older? Hell what about puberty and her body started going through changes?
I know Twilight spends most of her time studying and reading books but COME ON! SERIOUSLY!
I would love to see the reactions on her family faces after giving Twilight "The talk" that she had to learn the truth as a full grown mare from another full grown mare as well as been fed a lie by Celestia.
That would make an exciting short chapter, seeing that Twilight is still in Canterlot and the Crystal empire hadn't appeared yet. So its possible.
I believe they would be mad, but they have no ground to stand on. They never told Twilight the truth and by the looks of things, they never even tried as she got older.
They no doubt didn't tell her for the same reason Celestia did, so they can't fault her for lying, when they themselves didn't give her "the talk" like they're supposed to.
10718852
There is a story like that, just without the eggs part. I can link it if you want...
10719766
Yes PLEASE.
10720005
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/434757/spike-gives-twilight-the-talk
10719721
What happened is that Twilight stopped asking once she heard Celestia's version of "The Talk" her parents assumed that the other told her or she found out on her own, so they thought there was no reason to go any further.
I was thinking about it, but to be honest, it really wouldn't be that exciting. They would have a brief "Oh crap!" moment and apologize (similar to how Celestia reacted) but that would be about it. I do have an idea that would make things more interesting and funny, but i'm not yet sure if I will write it as an extra chapter.
10720040
That's one of the stories about Spike giving Twilight "The Talk" that I read a while back, but I couldn't remember its name. But if you know any stories about Rarity trying to give Spike the talk, could you link me that too? That's something I've never seen before in a story, and I thought it was funny with Spike's crush having to give him "The Talk".
10720661
After looking generally online for a few pages of "rarity spike talk babies come from", and then on this site specifically for just "where do foals come from" and then narrowed down to that sentence along with the "Spike" tag, I found nothing except your story. If I find something that comes up later (or write that admittedly interesting idea myself, maybe, probably not...), and I don't forget, I will contact you.
Of course, there is also a screencap based story on Derpibooru where Sonata gets "The Talk" from her fellow sirens, who are shocked in particular since she's over a thousand years old, along with a..."teaching aid" provided by a not entirely willing or comfortable Anonymous. I could (broken) link that if that sounds interesting. A consolation prize of sorts.
10720719
I figured as much, but the idea of Rarity giving Spike "The Talk" is probably one of those ideas that, while funny and interesting, is something that would be hard to come to you with his crush on her and all that. But if you do find one or write it yourself, let me know!
Sure, you can link it to me if you can. With how much of an airhead Sonata can be, I'm not surprised someone wrote a story with her getting "The Talk", but the part about anon being part of it is something I probably would have never thought about!
10720661
Dang! That makes sense. The only thing that could happen is if the parents realized they never gave Twilight "The talk" and asked the other if they did, only to learn neither of them did and neither Shining or Cadance did, which would just make them believe she learned it from a book, but just to make sure they asked her about it.
Kinda makes me wonder how things would of gone if Celestia also used the"ask your parents" excuse instead of lying to her. Sure you could say Twilight would just look it up in a book, but Celestia would of cast a spell on her that would make finding that information hard for her. She'd could asked other ponies but they wouldn't tell her, thus Twilight will eventually forget about it and go her whole life not knowing.
Till the cake twins are born and asked where foals come from.
10720739
hxtps://derpibooru.org/768560
Just put the first "t" back into place and put in the address bar for your device or something, and you'll be there. It also has the tag "birds and bees", which is generally on the topic, it is rather funny to look at. I have it watched.
10720755
Thanks, and I just checked it out. Some...saucy stuff, but oh so funny!
10720807
Indeed, it makes me crack up quite a bit still
10720754
I forgot to reply to you in my last comment.
If Celestia tried to use the "ask your parents" excuse, Twilight probably would have either found somepony else to ask, or got fed up and searched for books about it, unless Celestia uses a spell to prevent it. But I could see her sarcastically asking baby Spike where foals come from, like this:
Twilight: Why won't nopony tell me where foals come from?! You wouldn't happen to know, would you, Spike?
Baby Spike: Goo-goo.
Twilight: I didn't think so.
LOL, my talk was simple. I have always been nerdy, with a heavy interest in electronics and biology. My dad raised goats, and at the age of 10, I was doing statistical projections of the genetic traits of the goat's offspring, based on dominant/recessive traits.
One day, two goats start going at it. My dad looks at me...
Him: "You know what's going on, right?"
Me: "Yup"
Him: "That's good"
LOL
10719435
I can easily imagine Star Swirl trying (and failing) to give Celly "the talk".
Though the situation in which Tia doesn't know and Luna does, when you say it that way, feels a little too unlikely. Hilarious as it would be.
Just thinking - and what if Luna didn't know either?
10721852
And cue the relived dad!
10721948
Interesting! Starswirl not telling both Celestia and Luna sounds much more plausible (especially if a story has the Random tag) than Sunbutt not knowing where foals come from, but Luna does.
And not only that, imagine Twilight finding herself having to give both of them "The Talk"!
Rarity needed the practice anyway. You just know that as soon as Sweetie Belle starts asking questions about the subject, their parents are going to remember that they have a pressing engagement out of town and need Rarity to look after her sister for a while.
10722113
I was thinking the same thing too when I was writing the ending. After having to give a full-grown mare & dragon "The Talk", Rarity will feel more comfortable having it to Sweetie Belle when the time comes.
10723012
Wow...I don't know what to say. That really means a lot
. I guess I'll say "Thanks, and don't try to be like me, but try to be better than me."
Oh this was very good.
10725766
Thanks, and glad you enjoyed the story!
My Little review & Feedback I review this fiction.
After reading this again, I had a thought.
What if this story took place after the events of The crystalling, when we first meet Flurryheart.
We could still say that Twilight told Spike that foals came from eggs long ago. Only this time he never brought it up to Rarity.
So when Flurryheart is born. Twilight wants to know if Alicorn eggs are any different from regular pony eggs. So after the whole mess with the Crystal Heart is over. Everyone including Twilight's parents all sit together to eat, and Twilight asked Cadance about her egg, which will lead to her finally getting "the talk"
10808999
That's an idea I could use and have fun with, and I'll give it some thought. Incidentally, one potential sequel idea I had for a short time was Twilight going to see her parents with a fake pony egg, and tell them it's hers to freak them out as payback for never telling her the truth.
10809350
Now that would be hilarious