Crusaders of Three Minds
He- hello? Can you hear me?
Gah! Sweetie Belle?! Ah can hear ya, but your mouth ain't movin'!
Calm down, Apple Bloom, I told you this would seem a little weird at first. You're just hearing my thoughts directly in your head. I can hear yours too. Wow, there's a little bit of an echo.
Can ya do Scoots next? I think she's wonderin' why we've gone silent.
Oh! Yeah, give me a seconddddd... annnnnd... there!
Woah! Sweetie Belle! I can hear you in my head!
Ow, not so loud, Scoots.
Hehe, sorry Sweetie. Hey Apple Bloom!
Hey, Scootaloo! Can ya hear me?!
LOUD AND CLEAR!
Scoots, pleaaaase keep it down, I can't even cover my ears.
Oh, hehe sorry.
What do ya wanna do with this, Sweetie?
Hmmm... Scoots! Can you go outside the clubhouse and stand somewhere really far real quick?
Sure! Lemme just...
... okie, and thennn...
...sky is looking nice, wonder if Rainbow Dash could spot me from down here...
...alright, there!
How far away are you?
I'm close to the edge of the farm!
What?! Ya sound like you're right beside me!
Woohoo! That means it's working perfectly! No matter how far apart we are, we'll easily be able to hear each other!
Wow, that's awesome!
How'd you gallop all the way to the farm already?
My scooter!
Ah, right.
Ohohoh, Applejack's coming!
What?! Scootaloo, get back here!
Wait, I have a better idea.
What is it?... Scoots? Hellooooo?
Sweetie, calm it! You're right in my ear!
I am no- oh, right sorry.
Apple Bloom! Quick! Tell me something only you know about Applejack!
Huh? Ah can't just break her trust like tha-
Nononono, nothing super secret or serious, just anything that only you'd know about her that she knows you know!
Hmmm, alright. Ummm... for good luck in the mornings, she likes to toss a spare horseshoe into a basket in the corner of her room.
Okay... that works!
What's this for?... Scoots?... Not agai-
Hahahahaha! That was perfect!
What'd ya do?
She asked me why I was out there by myself, so I just asked her if she made her horseshoe toss this morning! You should've seen her face!
What?! What'd she say?
I didn't see. I ran off just in case I made her suspicious.
Aw, darn.
Wait, wait, wait, I wanna do that too!
Do what?
Trick my sister! Rarity should be working at the Carousel Boutique right now!
Oh, that's a great idea! I should be over there in about a minute with my scooter.
What are ya thinking of doin'?.
Oh, you'll see hehe.
Alright, I'm here! So... do I just... go in or-
If the front door's unlocked, you can just walk in. She'll hear the bell!
Okay, I'm in. I'm not hearing her though.
That means she's probably upstairs in her room, sewing or designing something. Go on, go on!
Alright, alright! Hmm, I didn't know Sweetie Belle leaves her backpack on the floor like this.
What are you- don't mind that! I, um, forget to clean that sometimes. Do you see Rarity?
Right, sorry. Umm... yes! I think I hear her humming from what looks like her room.
Does it have three blue diamonds engraved on the door?
Yeah.
Perfect, that's hers! Okay, so here's what I want you do. Knock, then when she opens the door, check the color of the dress she's working on and relay it back to me.
Got it!
What's this for?
Rarity's gonna be working on one of her new fashion lines, and I remember the color schemes of each line. However, she's only ever told me, so it should come as a shock to her if Scoots knows it.
Oh, that sounds pretty cool. Wait, why do you memorize her dress colors?
Well, that's because-
Blue and white!
That's her upcoming Canterlot winter fashion line! Ask her if she's almost done with her Canterlot winter fashion line!
How's your upcoming Canterlot winter fa-
Nonono, don't think it to us, say it to Rarity!
Oh, whoops!
... OH MY GOSH!
What happened?!
She just sort of stared at me for a little frozen, and then she fainted!
She WHAT!?
What?! Wow, didn't think she'd react that strongly.
Will she be okay?
Oh yeah, don't worry. This is totally normal for her. She'll probably wake up in like ten minutes and completely forget about this entirely.
What, she do this often or somethin'?
Um... yeah! Let's just say that!
Oh my gosh, I think I see Rainbow Dash doing tricks right now! Woaahhh look at her spins and spirals and loops and-
Scoots, we can hear all your stray thoughts, try to focus on just us right now.
Oh, whoops haha. I'm heading back now. When I'm back, can you undo it? I want to meet up with Rainbow Dash for something and I wanna keep my thoughts to myself during then.
Oh! Um... of course! Yes, we can, um, totally do that!
You ain't sounding so convincing there, Sweetie Belle... Is something wrong?
I... might not have the reverse spell nailed down.
What?! Well, we can't just stay like this! Let's go to Twilight, then.
Um... well, well about that... we um... we can't go to Twilight for this.
Wait, what do ya mean, 'we can't go to Twilight for this'? Didn't you learn this spell from her during your last Twilight Time session?
Not exaaaactly, she was teaching me how to teleport! I sorta found this spell on a later page and memorized it. And maybeee had Starlight help me get it down right.
Wait, Twilight didn't teach you this? Didn't she mention not to cast any advanced spells she didn't teach you yet? I thought you said Twilight was fine with this!
I said I got it from her! I didn't... say she taught me it...
Let's just go to Starlight to fix this then, alright?
Fine.
Fine.
Stupid Sweetie Belle...always castin', never thinkin'...
Right?
I can still hear you!
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That was fun!
Hahaha, Sweetie just accidentally called Apple Bloom an idiot and nopony noticed! That innocent little filly!
If it ain't one of Apple Bloom's potion antics, it's one of Sweetie Belle's spell shenanigans that causes the CMCs trouble. Fun short story overall. I liked how you color-coded the text so that we know which Crusader is speaking. I'm not sure how it looks on the site's Bright Mode though (I use Dark Mode specifically). The character dialogue is pretty solid too. Apple Bloom talks like an Apple and so on.
11653591
Glad you thought so!
Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.
Until that mind takes them a little too far.
this needs a sequel to it! Though i have to wonder what harm could their be in the trio having telepathy between themselves?
That was a good story.
But hey, as far as experimental things go for talented young unicorns, it's definitely better thought out than the likes of, say... Love Poison ever was... or the Want It Need It Spell, if you had someone in mind who can fix it, and is in a good place to do it... also for the fact they're only really affecting themselves here, small pranks aside... and the fact they were all up for it, being the great friends that they are.
Who knows, perhaps it'll become a bit of an inside joke on Sweetie not having the counterspell ready.
A nice little fun fic on "thoughts only" narration; it goes to show some of the story potential for possible shenanigans on "Twilight Time gains gone a bit rogue..." because I can't help but feel the fandom has somewhat missed out in that regard, among other potential aspects.
even if it was kind of also the show's fault her getting better at magic was more-or-less largely relegated to being a background detail with not much bearing on the plot; you could literally blink and miss the Accelero case
it's an interesting story. encourage you to vote
This is so innocent and fun!
This would probably be saddlebags because they're horses. At least I'm pretty sure that's what they did in the actual show and it's certainly what most writers do if they're paying enough attention to remember that the characters aren't humans.
11653832
easy. Twi finds out. Everyone finds out. But no one can reverse it. Then their teacher is puzzling how to give them a test.
11654329
Not gonna lie, that would make for a hilarious sequel idea
A dialogue only story. People never cease to amase me...
11654345
Same.
Another one could be that, as Sweetie Belle tries to remove the spell, she accidentally twists/modifies it into becoming infectious. Fortunately, however, one of the conditions is that the person being infected either has to give informed consent about it, or at the very least would have genuinely given their full consent if they were properly informed. Well, either that, or the conditions mean that the person having to give their informed consent is (for all practical purposes) basically unavoidable.
11653832
Aaaannnnddd just like that, Ponyville is going to be subjected to even bigger amounts of chaos from the CMC’s Shenanigans & Chicanery.
I bet starlight is proud that she got such a tricky spell working, nevermind the details lol
11654950
I too had a thought pop to mind. SMILE would probably LOVE to recruit the CMC when they got older. I imagine having 3 members being able to send thoughts between em would make reporting things much much faster, esp if they have one of them working at the main office of smile itself.
This was a fun little adventure!
This is a really fun fic! Thank you for sharing your writing!
The long description is not very descriptive. It gives me as a potential reader very little information, not to mention copying the short description is just kinda lazy. I have not read this story, and I will not read it, simply because I have no idea what this story is about. All I know is that there is the CMC, and a spell that probably has something to do with minds based on title but that is just speculation on my part. That's not a lot of information. I have no idea whether it is some kind of mind swap spell, fusion spell, or a spell that makes really tall (I said mind involvement was only a speculation). The long description should have definitely been, you know, longer. And don't you dare tell me it's because of spoilers, there is a reason why books have a book blurb on the backside, you know. I am not asking for the plot twist, but for a description of the themes this story is about.
11656297
Why are you booing me? I'm right. Copying the short description into the long one is kinda lazy.
11656307
11656297
Because it would've just cost you such an unsurmountable, a truly gargantuan grand total of reading at most 55 words to figure out what was happening, and that's (generously) assuming the second line didn't immediately give it away?
11656309
That's what the description is for... To summarise the plot... So you don't have to start reading it blind...
11656315
The story is 1000 words long. Their description is more than enough to illustrate the plot of the fic. It's not a matter of 6-D's "laziness" it's a matter of your poor reading comprehension.
11656315
The description is about 1% the size of the story. Would you prefer it be 10%? I could have an AI of Samuel L Jackson explain the concept to you if that helps as well. The current desc sets the main characters and the plot of the story quite obviously, alongside the title. It doesn’t need to wax poetic about the themes and implications of the story. It just needs to let you know that someone is doing something.
But… Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle could have just told Scootaloo using regular words. These aren't really mental magic pranks.
I really liked this, definitely an interesting and unique concept!
hehe
aww good ol’ Scootaloo’s good ol’ Rainbow Dash obsession
that is, indeed, very awesome, and also raises questions about physics!
aww that is so Applejack
i mean she already knows the three are best friends so the natural conclusion is that Apple Bloom told Scootaloo at literally any point in the years they’ve known each other, but it is very CMC to not think of that, adorbs
ahaha love Sweetie Belle causing problems for Rarity
aww even Scootaloo should figure that out! also love that Rarity has three blue diamonds engraved on her door
ahaha
so true, Rarity sure loves fainting
aww Starlight! you shouldn’t be a bad influence on the children!
hehehe, great way to end it. super adorable all around, thank you for writing!
Cute idea, though there’s not much more to say. There are certainly potential complications down the road if it turns out Sweetie’s inexpert casting won’t be easily dispelled, but within the scope of the story as it is, there’s not much that the girls couldn’t accomplish with some walkie-talkies. (Which, to be fair, would still provide some shenanigans in Ponyville.)
All told, nice bit of fun, but nothing to really make it stand out. Still, thank you for the entry.
Happy CMC Day!
This would have been a super fun episode to watch if they had it in FIM. Bravo!
This could be a curious story if expanded, as they learn to live with the other voices in their heads