Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
"I must say, the griffons have done quite alright since I've been gone," Lancie said with a grin.
"Is that so...?" Rainbow muttered, trudging forward along the thin corridor. By now, her ears were drooping and her shoulders were hunched. She struggled with the numbness of her hooves to keep an even pace.
"They've accomplished so much that's worth admiring!" The statue reclined on her backside, examining his granite talons. "They've built a crazy wind wall, they've carved random houses out of crystal trees that didn't even belong to them..."
"Uh huh..."
"And their entire society is a psycopathic toilet spin into utter chaos!" He laughed merrily. "Oh, it's so delightfully absurd!"
"You do seem to love chaos a lot..."
"Why not?" He grinned wide at her. "It's fun!" He rolled over, lying belly-first and kicking his legs up and down like a filly at a slumber party. "According to the bird-ex, you liked having fun before."
"Don't talk about Gilda as if she's—"
"Is it that you like stiff rules and regulations? Hmmm? Well?" He cocked his head to the side. "You seem to be an awfully big fan of breaking the rules."
"When it suits me," Rainbow muttered.
"You mean when it suits Princess Frecklestasia and her closest companions."
"Look, Lancie, I've always lived life on the edge."
"Uh huh..."
"But it wasn't always fun!" Rainbow frowned. "There's nothing awesome about banging your head around for no good reason!" She stuck her head up. "I was born with a bunch of super cool skills, and I wanna be in control of them! Learning to harness your own potential—that is what makes you awesome!"
"Eh..." Lancie rolled his stone eyes. "Gag me with a dragon lance already..."
"Here's a question," Rainbow Dash spoke. "If everything was out of control all of the time..."
"You've got my attention."
"... ... ...wouldn't you get bored of that?"
Lancie blinked.
"Because then chaos would be the new norm. And being normal sucks. Wouldn't you agree?"
"I've... never quite thought of it like that before," the statue murmured.
"Hah!" Rainbow Dash smirked. "Don't act as if you're all surprised."
"It'd just be... one polarization in place of another..." He rubbed his aching scalp with a loud scraping sound. "Mmmmm... but of course."
Rainbow blinked, her ears twitching as she glanced back. "Wow. You really are confuzzled, aren't you?"
"Ahem!" Lancie sat up straight, folding his arms. "Nothing of the sort! I'm simply planning a... highly philosophical rebuttal!"
"Well, plan longer," Rainbow Dash muttered. "I could use the silence."
"Yes, because what I need the most is to be a front row seat to a concert of pony grunts, squeaks, and farts in this subterranean cell."
"Lancie, would you friggin' knock it off with the sass alrea—?" Rainbow Dash suddenly scuffled to a stop. She blinked. "My voice stopped echoing."
"Yes, I noticed it too," Lancie muttered.
Rainbow glanced left and right. She saw nothing but darkness. Curious, she held out the ruby stone from the Wind Chalice.
The walls had given way to an enormous cavern. A ceiling loomed high above, dangling with razor-sharp stalactites. A subterranean plateau came to a knifing edge about twenty feet away, dipping into pure darkness. There was no seeing the surface of the cave, no matter how hard Rainbow Dash peered.
All around her, tiny claps of dropping moisture tickled her ears. From the acoustics, she immediately guessed that the cavern was well over several hundred feet in diameter.
"Well, things just got interesting," Rainbow muttered.
"One way or another, you're always ending up in a cave," Lancie said.
"The buck are you talking about?"
"Oh, nothing," he said with a smile.
Rainbow sighed, pressing ahead carefully, wings stretched out. "Maybe I can use your big fat muzzle to chisel a hole out of this friggin' barricade."
"Yes. Maybe."
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Luna damn Cave Eels and giant millipede things!
6265803 Don't forget dragons, acid bombs, ancient tomes of prophecy, and freaky chaos bats. Especially the chaos bats.
6265837 Don't forget the beautiful purple prose.
But for real though that chaos theory is very interesting, I wonder if there would ever come a point where he would make everything normal? Too philosophical for the show but it would a damn interesting concept to explore.
I'd like to believe Lancie is keeping up the conversation with Rainbow so that she doesn't realize how tired she is and can keep going. Because, deep down, he does truly care and wants her to succeed, but can't overtly show it.
Or, knowing him, he could also just be trying to annoy her. It's 50/50.
Something will wake up by the sudden silence of the soft lullaby of howling winds.
I feel like the references are just kinda slapping me in the face at this point. Might want to calm down on them a bit...or lead into the Dash-iverse.
6266790
I like to think he's playing the monkey on her back, but why not both?
6267424 Why not Zoidberg? (V)(O,,,O)(V)
Caves?
Oh come'on quit referencing a story I'm going to read next!
My best friend says that word all the time...
You read my mind once again, Essay.
(ConFuzzled is also a convention celebrating the genre of anthropomorphics in the UK.)
A cave! Oh boy!
FUZZ!
Wrong story, but the philosophical debate between Discord and Lyra remains a favorite of mine. Philosophizing is magic.