Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Creaaaaaaaak...
The front door to Rainbow Dash's sky home slowly drifted open.
Silence hung across the dark, empty foyer.
And then...
FWUMP! Rainbow face-planted across the floor. Snorting, she scooted her limp body forward with a pair of shuffling rear legs. About halfway through the door, she turned upside down, giggling stupidly.
Her eyes opened, bloodshot and glinting in the starlight. A stupid smile hung across her muzzle as she fought the urge to vomit once... twice... thrice.
"Hmmmmmmm..." She sat up. She stared into nothinginess. "....snkkkkt—heeheehee!" She hugged herself as she fell over again, kicking at the wall and giggling. "Somepony stop the cloud, I wanna get off! Hehehehehe..."
Rainbow Dash rummaged through her freezer.
After standing there for an untold amount of time, she eventually stumbled backwards in her kitchen. Flecks of frost clung to her muzzle and eyebrows. She cradled a chilled bottle of cider in her hooves.
Cl-Clunk! She dropped it once on the floor of the kitchen. Miraculously, the bottle didn't shatter. The mare leaned over to pick it up again, but she reeled. A breathy giggle escaped her muzzle as she fumbled a bit, eventually grasping the thing once more between her forelimbs.
Minutes later, she was "pouring" herself a mug... or at least trying to. A liberal amount of the bottle's contents splattered across the counter. Her nostrils flared, but she coughed before she was able to laugh. For a brief second, her smile faded, as if a cold sheet of sobriety was being flung over her. As soon as the mug lifted, that lucidity faded, and she was smiling stupidly again, reaching for the mug.
"Mrmmmff... heheh..."
Barely cradling the mug, Rainbow Dash limped through her lonely, dark home in the night's sky.
"Poke fun... at m-me for my tab... huh?" She sniffed, chuckled, then bumped against a wall. "Yo, I've earned more tabs than ponies have eyeballs. Mmmmmfff-frffggg... friggin'... makin' the world safe from mobsters and... rogue cider brothers." She burped, teetering hard to the side. "Whoah! Hahahaha! Coulda... coulda asked Lancie to make me a mountain of cider bottles. So wh-who needs a bar or a tab, huh? Go p-pick on somepony your own butt-size. Snkkkkt—heeheeheeheee..."
She brushed past the doorframe to her bathroom. Her peripheral vision caught a glance of the lonely shower stall. She snorted even louder.
"Buck you too, y'know? Friggin'... death capsule full of water... snkkkttt... heeheehee... not crying anymore. Not crying... don't..." A hiccup. "...don't need anything to hide it ya lame-o."
At last, she slumped into her bedroom. She teetered back into a wall, staring across the dark interior with dull eyes. Her voice cracked, dropping into a lower, breathy tone.
"Live and die in here. That's all. Everything else... hrmmmfff... just a friggin' dream." She gulped. "I hate dreams. Too many... mrmmff... too many freckles."
That said, she brought the mug to her lips.
The pegasus lingered.
She stared dully into her container. A faceless shadow of a reflection peered back.
Rainbow Dash gulped. Her eyes wondered as a moist sheen overwhelmed her eyes. She was shivering slightly, and a lump formed in her throat.
"Mmmmm... Lancie... was it..." She coughed. "...was it because you knew h-how badly I sucked?"
Silence.
The first of several tears threatened to form.
And then...
Rainbow spotted a goblet on the counter. The lid and handle were adorned with alicorn symbols.
Rainbow stifled a burp. She stared at the chalace...
...and the tears evaporated before they could form.
A wicked, conniving grin crossed her muzzle as she reached over for the container.
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Hooboy...
This will lead to mental unhingedness and/or liver damage.
No... Rainbow... Don't do it...
Well, Epcot's about to have her hooves full.
Yeesh, if she drinks any more than she has, she's gonna loop back round to the other side of sobriety. And that is grounds in which mortal minds should not step.
...How will cider space handle a drunk mind?
Maybe she can finally let go a bit and allow herself a brief flight of fancy,
I can just imagine Rainbow telling Scootaloo about this part of her life in order to tell the story:
"So then I got home from the bar, sloshed out of my mind, started crying and kept drinking on my own."
Meanwhile Scoots is like O_o "Okayyy".
Don't torture poor Epcot with your drama, Rainbow.
If you go to the dreamworld drunk, are you drunk in the dreamworld?
Do you have a hangover? Is it a more intense drunk state...or do you just pop in sober...?
~ADG
6997338
... I think she already has.
6951256 lol you never know
Oh no...
*legs give out*
*which doesn't really do anything since I'm sitting, but still*
This is can only end wonderfully and without any embarrassing incident!
Drunk Dashie is simultaneously hilarious, adorable and heartbreaking.