Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone
To: Lara Croft (TombTitties@playstation.net), Nathan Drake (TestosteroneRaider@playstation.net), Indiana Jones (nukethefridge@lucasfilm.com), Daring Do (AKYearling@Equestriapublishers.net)
Subject: Idol of BoreasAlright folks. Becoming a closer-knit community is all well and good, but last I checked, friendship doesn't put food on the table or bits in the pocketbook. So we're suggesting a little contest.
Whoever gets the Idol of Boreas from the Abysmal Abyss gets the rights to the adventure for their next book, game, or film.
Thanks, and best of luck.
Regards,
Gruff the Griffon
Attention citizens of Griffonstone,
Now that we've started to clean the town up, inspectors have found what appear to be vaginal secretions on the statue of King Grover. If you know of any leads as to who committed this defilement, please see me immediately.
Sincerely,
Gilda
Head of Griffonstone Inspection Team
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Oh god the implications.
6124709
Dear Maud:
How could you sis? You know I had eyes on King Grover! I don't want your sloppy seconds.
-Pinkie Pie.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/10/18/745377__safe_twilight+sparkle_animated_princess+twilight_screencap_equestria+girls_rainbow+rocks_spoiler-colon-rainbow+rocks_writing.gif
Dear Pinkie,
If you needed "relief" so badly, you could have told me. I would've gladly let you borrow Tom for a little while.
Yours truly,
Rarity.
6124779
Dear Pinkie Pie
You should have been quicker.
-Maud.
I diedededed
Goddammit, Pinkie Pie!
Welcome to Griffondore, Land of the Non-Singing
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
Keep the Stinkin book.
Sincerely,
Rainbowdash
6124851 Dear Maud,
Fine, I'll just "borrow" Boulder for a while. I hear he's single.
To my loyal subjects:
Near.....Far.
-Grover
I would actually be very interested in seeing/reading how that contest plays out.
Tomb Square titties rock. The Indiana Jones franchise will never live that one down.
Gretta! Keep your legs closed!
I'm liking this implication! Grover x Pinkie for life!
6125750
Dear Gilda,
Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle is too busy playing Drawn To Death to care about your piddling little problems. That is one of the reasons she sent Bubble Gum and Skittles. She also hoped you would murder them, but apparently you cannot rely on a covetous griffon to do anything worthwhile. You would think with a beak like that you could easily snap a pony in two. However, it seems that all that enormous honker is good for is sniffing out a good deal. Thanks for nothing, you filthy, bit grubbing kite.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and the mouthpiece of her racist rants,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Well, she does come from a rock farmin' family...
6125692 Dear Pinkie:
Try it and I'll bury you just like I buried Rockington.... he was making moves on Boulder.