It is common knowledge within Canterlot Castle that Princess Celestia is rather fond of her tea, and is particularly amicable after having her first cup. Upon waking up and finding that there's no tea to be found within the castle, how does Princess Celestia react?

Not well, not well at all.

Rated T for dark humor, harsh language and false death threats.
Proof-read and edited by ChappedPenguinLips.
Cover art by LateCustomer on Deviantart.

Any good chef will tell you that ketchup is a horrible condiment that ponies regularly use to ruin good food and hide bad flavor. Prince Baked Bean has finally had enough after watching his pregnant wife scarf down a dozen oatburgers drenched in the stuff to satisfy her cravings, and he's decided to attempt the impossible; turning ketchup into something worthy of royalty!

A what-if fic set in the Prince Beanverse!

Featured on 12/28/18 - 12/30/18! Thanks everyone!

Being a princess of Equestria is not all cake and mediation. Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good. Princess Luna has to make a difficult choice, but it's for the best... isn't it?

Blank Slate is the greatest thief of his generation. He has robbed countless nigh-impossible marks, and his talents as a master of disguise are beyond par - truly, nopony knows who he is.

And now he's preparing the greatest heist in mortal memory: the treasure vaults of the Princesses themselves.

But you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past the pony who defines when ‘early in the morning’ is…

Spoilers in the comments! Beware! Beware...

Audio Reading available - thank you ABagOVicodin
Czech Translation available - Thank you Keranis

When Gaberdine is awarded a noble title by Princess Celestia, he soon finds out that his new lands contain several surprises. For starters, there is no land in his new barony. Secondly, his new castle turns out to be a broken-down riverboat. And third is… seaponies.

Baron Gaberdine has a lot to learn about his new barony. And himself.

Fortunately, he has a very young teacher.

Now with a sea-quill (sorry) Drifting Down the Lazy River

Cover photo by PhoenixSwift
Editing/Pre-Reading assistance by Tek, Shaleclaw, Peter, Seether00, Monsieur Connoisseur, GhostOfHeraclitus, The Masked Ferret, Blue Paladin42 and Admiral Biscuit

Note: Unlike The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian, this is a single POV love story, like Changelings, Love and Lollipops. Only with fewer cannons and fountains.
Now Featured on Equestria Daily
With a YouTube Reading of the first chapter by BigAsh
And with a dramatic reading by Neighrator Pony and company Full playlist here.
Thanks for a wonderful review by Paul Asaran
Available in paperback through Lulu.com at cost.

Luna has been wanting to have her own personal guard for a long time, and at long last she finally has one. But maybe she should have thought more before choosing her guard. Now she has to deal with what comes next.

A fair amount of sexual references. Just so you know.

OMG-FEATURED!!! =[^-^]= -1/08/2015
-1/11/2015 (Why is it always on the first?)

Royal Guard Silver Birch knows Princess Luna's history, and her... extreme reactions to being neglected in the past. When it seems Luna has been snubbed yet again, he and his partner Winter Garden take action to shield their Princess from this slight, and spare Equestria her terrible wrath.

(Inspired by a really dumb blog I did.)

My attempt at a more serious 'Luna meets Neil Armstrong' storyline. What would really happen, both on the moon and on Earth? Inspired by 'The Eagle has Landed' by CyanBlackStone.

Princess Luna has found herself on a very different moon after some strange force interfered with her banishment. She doesn't know what the metal objects that keep orbiting and sometimes landing there are, but she wants to find out. Meanwhile, Neil Armstrong believes that being the first man on the moon will be the crowning achievement of his life. Hoo boy, is he ever in for a surprise.

For those who are interested, the most excellent Zanec has provided this link to an interactive Apollo 11 site.

When a video game programmer mysteriously enters Equestria, it doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary. But the answer to the appearance may just be the precursor to the biggest disaster to befall Equestria since Discord.

Story Was Featured!

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