• Member Since 15th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen May 17th

Peachy Moon


A Georgian (U.S.) Brony. Not much to say, habitually depressed, I try to be nice to all.

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This is the third time Queen Chrysalis has struck and though she managed to take the castle she was unable to full keep the city. Now as the Elements of Harmony do their thing in the background we focus on the other heroes of the story.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 62 )

Go Derpy! :D
You have my attention, sir.

Btw, you have a few missing commas scattered about, but otherwise your structure is good.

3328748 Grammar and I do not have the best of relationships. I'm sorry to say that the comma thing might not improve that much. But thanks I've been bouncing this around in my head a lot so I had to get it out. I'll add tags as the ponies appear in the narrative. I'm also trying to explain the lead up as I go so it isn't so much of a "here's the climax" story

3328759 The comma bit is a minor thing anyway; you have a good story going so far.

Im especially interested that this is apparently the THIRD time Chrysalis goes after Canterlot. What's with that?

3328780 Well Third overall attempt at being a bad guy. While I haven't read them she does apparently show up in them. Thus making this her third time.

3328799 Wait..."read them"? What do you mean? I'm missing something here... :P

3328814 Sorry I missed a sentence. She appeared in the comics.

3328932 That habit makes editing my stories hilarious..

3328935 For me, it's using WAY too many interrupting phrases/asides. I end up with an army of parentheses or double-dashes thrown across the story, and it's a pretty hard habit to break...

Too bad that she's down for the count That's because somepony's going to lay down some tracks on the changeling hordes.

3329374 everybody else....plus Dinky and Amethyst are in Canterlot...

"They would only be surprised further when the windows on the castle all exploded outwards to the sound of music and flashing lights a few moments later"



BASS CANON!

3329847 I'm actually going to avoid that particular fan creation. Trust me I'm working on making Vinyl last show a good one.

Meanwhile, somepony is worried about more vital concerns....like continuing to maintain a pulse......

Well, it's not Tuxedo Mask so it's probably Luna.....

3367742 No though considering I've got the next chapter working titled Skyway to the Danger Zone...

3367707 Is it sad this is one of the nicest comments I've gotten?

Go Gilda! :flutterrage:
Now all there's left is the endgame. Methinks Chrysalis is in for a...Nightmare of a fight. :moustache:

3374858 Oh buck no. I went literal. DJ Ch4o5 (Ft. Moonbutt) Rocks the Badlands. Then the epilogue.

3374880 Well then....
I guess I need to make another lame pun.
How about..."Squash and Changeling Salad"? :trixieshiftright:

...Nah, give me a minute.

3374908 Hey Lame puns are my shtick! I mean even I cringe at the chapter titles.. Also Gilda needs more love.

3374911 Didn't mean to steal your thunder, sorry. :scootangel:

3374912 Nah, so long as your enjoying it feel free to pun it up

3374914 No more puns...for now.
Oh, and I hope Luna and Discord keep a few Changelings alive. Twilght needs something to experiment on, after all! :twilightsmile:

3374931 I'm planning on just breaking Chrysie...no sense in genocide. Any left in the hive wouldn't be warriors anyways

3374947 Despite appearances I do have a plan!

And THAT is why you don't f*** with Equestria.

3385705 I feel bad doing that to her.....honestly...

3385749 I've seen far, FAR worse happen to Chrysalis in a lot of fics.
Trust me, you were surprisingly merciful here, considering how this could have gone.

3385833 A rule to remember, when Changeling fics are concerned (or any race, when Equestria goes on the offensive).

Individual karma, on the other hand... >:)

3385954 :ajsleepy: I've already started writing the Chrysalis and Celestia discusion. Wasn't plannin on lettin it see the light of day though. :facehoof:

3385957 It'd bring closure to the fic, though. I'd advise working that into the epilogue, but this is your fic, and your call to make.

3386002 True enough. I'm just...-sigh- I just don't know...well anyways same as usually the epilogue will be up when I put it down on paper.

Yeah, Vinyl's back! :twilightsmile:
And it looks like we're on the path to peace with the Changelings, well done.

For sure it was something strange, because of lack of worldbuilding and that random change of perspective

3400978 The world building was a choice I regret, the random shifting about not as much. Did you read all or leave off?

This is a really good story. The only complaint I have is how short it is and how the beginning to each situation had to be explained in the middle of each chapter. That mixed with so many different plot lines trying to collaborate left it feeling rushed. (especially with starting straight in the middle of an action scene which is the main reason I've been waiting a while to actually read this)
Edit: I just noticed that perteks already commented on my main point here. sorry for the repeat.

3412522 lol No worries, If I wasn't open to criticism and comments I wouldn't have released this to the public

Well... hello Author's Note... ruining the suspense yet again I see... Oh well it was a fun read. On to the next chapter!

Wait! waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait... wait. Is... is Vinyl dead? That can't be right, Vinyl can't be dead, vinyl is making a comeback...

Good sir you have me hooked and now I must see this story to the end... Also I feel the need to kill a changeling. Oh and please don't spoil it for me whether Vinyl is dead or not... I will find out as I continue reading.

Um... is Dinky like some kind of three parented hybrid love child of Celestia, Derpy and Twilight? Or is that Amethyst's parentage... because both of them are at their most awesome in this chapter.

DANGER ZONE! Is it odd that I imagined Gilda and Lightning Dust to share that ever popular moment of, "You can be my wingpony any day." "No you can be mine." "No homo, right?" "ALL THE HOMO!"

Also I realize it may make me sound a bit bitter, but I actually laughed when Spitfire died... Nope I'm still glad that backpedaling Pegasus was brutally killed. She knows what she did...

I love Luna's fancy exploding jewelry! But most of all I love Discord in this. He was spectacular the whole way through. Oh and Princess Moonbutt was pretty great too(not just her exploding rings of death).

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