Equestrian Eeveelution.

by Symphonicdysonince

But... The Squeezy...

Vince and Cy joined Conner, Zann and I as we watched the Brothers roll up the road. I quickly looked to see where Fluttershy and Rainbow were, and was disappointed to see them staying close.

Cra~ap. I sighed. Didn't expect this one so soon. How am I going to warn the others? I hopped onto Rainbow's back as the Cider Squeezy pulled to a stop.

Cy's fur bristled as they knocked over the fence post. <<Hey! How many cereal box tops did you fucks have to send in to get your licences?!>>

Vince leaned towards them, sniffing as he did so. <<They have an... off smell. I don't trust them.>>

<<Neither do I.>> I agreed as the brothers launched into their singing spiel. I tapped Rainbow's shoulder. <<I don't think you should buy what they're selling.>>

Rainbow bounced into the air, hoping for some quieter space. "What do you mean?"

<<Just that.>> My ear twitched as the brothers kept singing. <<Look, see how they're trying to whip the crowd up? They want them hanging on their every word. And their names! You ponies have very, uh, prophetic names.>> I gestured to the bare-faced brother as he picked up Apple Bloom. <<Their names are Flim Flam. They're a flimflam. They're running a fu->> I paused, remembering what she usually interprets that swear as. <<A scam. They're pulling the wool over everyone's eyes! Think about it: how long does it take the Apples to ferment their cider?>>

"Almost all winter..." I could see the gears turning in Rainbows head.

<<And they claim to be able to make cider instantly? Must be magic.>> I lay my head on top of Rainbows. <<Wonder what that does to the quality...>>

Just then, the mustachioed brother slid past us on a part of their machine. "More cider than you can drink in all you're days of thinking~."

"I doubt that!" Rainbow shot back, crossing her hooves. She rolled her eyes up to look at me as the crowd was swept up in the Brothers' song. "You really think so."

I eyed the Reckless Duo and their hard frowns. <<Yeah, yeah I do.>> I patted Rainbow on her head. <<Just,>> I sighed, <<just don't get too attached to the idea they're selling. Not until they prove they can deliver.>>

It was roughly at that point that Granny took her sip. Rainbow smirked at Granny's smile. "She seems to think they can."

<<I still don't trust them.>>

Soon enough, the con ponies attempted to give their broken bargain with the Apples and left for the day. Most of the crowd dispersed, but I could see some ponies gathered around. Probably hoping for more of the show... We all gathered around the Apples.

"What are we gonna do?" Apple Bloom asked.

<<What does she mean?>> Conner asked, looking to me.

Vince spoke up. <<They're going to run the farm out of business!>>

Fluttershy held a hoof to her face. "Is that true?" She addressed Applejack. "They want to run you off the farm?"

"If we don' take their crooked deal, yeah." Applejack nodded. "We may need t' sell some of our reserve if'n they take our customers."

"You have reserves?!" Rainbow cried. "Why haven't you ever sold them?"

"'Cause it's fer family and emergencies only!" The farmmare snapped. "Never mind th' fact most o' it has been sitting there for years. It's gotta be very potent by now, what hasn't been taken by th' Celestia's Share." She sighed. "It's a shame Mr. Rich's already taken his share to market. We won't see those bits fer a while yet."

Granny waved a hoof. "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. I took a samplin' o' their cider, and I knew they weren't on th' level right then! Their cider's like two amorous rabbits in a canoe."

I chuckled along with the other canines as Twilight rubbed her chin. "It makes sense. Fermentation can be a finicky process at the best of times, even without magic. There have been several reports of ponies going blind from homemade alcohol, after all. And, while using magic to speed the process up is one of the safest of things one can do, relatively speaking, it does carry the risk of making already mundane problems worse." She shook her head. "I'd be interested to know how the Cider Squeezy was made. And what happened to its five thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine predecessors."

"Ah think tha' was just a gimmick there, Twi."

"Still, they run the risk of having severe issues crop up. Of which, an inedible product would be the best scenario."

<< O~h.>> Zann chuckled. <<Hey, Leo! I get it now.>> I saw his look of mirth get replaced by one of horror. <<Oh Arceus!>>

<<Yup.>>

Granny hoofed the cider she still had to Pinkie. "I know ya like our cider, how's this compare?"

Pinkie took the mug in hoof, sniffed it a few times, then took a gulp. After a few seconds of swishing it around, she let it fall back into the mug with a drawn out "Bleh." She then proceeded to upturn the mug itself. "Nope, not getting the Pinkie Seal of Approval." My ears twitched as the remainders of the crowd pass that tidbit around.

Cy bulled his way to the front. <<Fluttershy, I might have an idea. Could you pass it on to Applejack?>>

"Of course." The timid mare tapped Applejack on the shoulder. Once she had the farmare's attention, she began to translate.

<<You know that everypony in town likes your cider right? What if you make and sell little cider making kits? A few apples, some instructions on how to do it, a miniature set of equipment, sell it for twenty bits?>>

"An' they could just buy more apples to refill the kits." Applejack seemed to give it some thought. "What's stoppin' ponies from just makin' their own cider?"

<<The amount made from the kits should only be effectively enough for one pony to have maybe a couple of glasses. Not nearly enough for them to host a party. And, since it would still take time for it to ferment properly, you can sell the kits in the fall and still make money from your cider sales in the spring.>>

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah! And, since they would know that they have cider waiting for them at home, they won't be in a rush to get some! Meaning more cider for ponies like me, who don't or can't get here before you run out!"

Applejack nodded. "What do ya think, Twi?"

"It's doable." The purple mare allowed. "Still, there's always the issue of things like the blindness I brought up."

"That's an easy fix." Pinkie stated. "Just get them to Pinkie Swear to follow the instructions!"

<<You can't even follow instructions.>> Zann sighed.

"Plus," Pinkie nodded. "if I try it first, as a proof of concept type thingy, then other ponies would know to take it just as seriously!"

"So long as you follow the instructions." Rainbow deadpanned. "I've seen what you do with your Lego sets."

"But they're so boring!" Pinkie cried. "It's so much fun just making them up as you go. It's like being a master of you're own world!"

<<Down Pinkie.>> Zann tapped her with his metal paw. <<You're starting to get a Morgan Freeman complex.>>

---

The next day, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Conner and I were sitting on a bench outside the yellow pegasus' cottage. We were taking the time for Rainbow to practice understanding me by having me say tongue twisters and seeing if she could repeat them.

Surprisingly, it was Conner's idea.

<<She sells sea shells by the sea shore.>> I stated.

Rainbow scrunched up her muzzle. "She sells Shellders by the sea shore?"

I shook my head. <<She sell sea shells by the->> I turned to watch the Brothers ride towards the farm. <<They're back.>>

"She sells water shell's off their back?"

<<What?! No!>> I pointed to the road. <<The Brothers are back.>>

We all shared a look, before getting up and trotting into town. By the time we got there, the Brothers had already begun drumming up a crowd. They began to promote their cider, but the flowery words they used only made them sound like vaudeville peddlers hawking their wares.

Unfortunately for them, word had spread of Pinkie's review, and they barely sold a drop. Once it was clear that interest had died out, the Brothers had wisely packed up and left.

<<That was strangely anticlimactic.>> Conner stated. He gave me a glance from the corner of his eye. <<Think we need to have a group chat again?>>

I nodded. <<Tomorrow at the Daycare?>>

<<I'll pass it along.>>

Author's Note:

See? This is what happens when logic gets applied to a cartoon. I get to break one of my favourite episodes...

Because of popular demand, here's a quick list of who's who:
-Leo, Conner, Vince and Yomega are unevolved, with Yomega being a shiny Eevee.
-Cy is a Jolteon
-Lulu is a Vaporeon
-Zann is a Flareon
-Villhiem is a Leafeon
-And Abes is an Umbreon

There is a document here that one can use to keep track of the pack. (Much thanks to Adenbadens for doing this up, and updating it when he can.)

As always, read, review, and enjoy!

Comments

[Zapper Frost]

She shook her head. "I'd be interested to know how the Cider Squeezy was made. And what happened to its five thousand, five hundred and ninety nine predecessors."

Umm, Twilight? I think ya did your math wrong...

<< O~h.>> Zann chuckled. <<Hey, Leo! I get it now.>> I saw his look of mirth get replaced by one of horror. <<Oh Acreus!>>

Zann, you said Arceus incorrectly

[Symphonicdysonince]

9494254
Fixed. The funny thing is, I'm currently wearing an Arceus t-shirt with the proper spelling on it. All I had to do was look down...

[Zapper Frost]

9494272

[Emtu]

Their cider's like two amorous rabbits in a canoe.

Daaaamn, Granny!

Edit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbxfFOdp-bY
Stupid video won't embed.

[Greenhorn]

9494254
To where every failed attempts go - recycling.

[Who cares]

Regarding the document that you mentioned in the author’s note; I know you warned us about it having spoilers but when I looked at it I didn’t expect it to have spoilers for things that haven’t already happened in the story.

[NightmintHLW]

had me hooked at the title

[Khanathara]

<<Down Pinkie.>> Zann tapped her with his metal paw. <<You're starting to get a Morgan Freeman complex.>>

Oh my Morgan Freeman, that was hilarious

[Archivist Nightwatch]

Still trying to figure out what Leo is evolving into. At this point I am thinking Espeon or glaceon with a chance of sylveon though if anyone evolves in sylveon I think it should be Yomega as thats the best looking shiny in my opinion.

THOUGH it could be a new eeveelution for Leo

[Raunen]

I love this!! XD

[gerandakis]

Hmm ... this is intriguing ... where will they go?

but what their selling

they're

the idea their selling

again: they're

[Gizmo Gear]

9494731
Dann auto correct. Cuz that's probably what happened.

[Gizmo Gear]

9494418
Sweet Morgan Freeman! I died of laughter at that one!

[falconstrings]

great chapter

[2 Liter Leo]

See? This is what happens when logic gets applied to a cartoon. I get to break one of my favourite episodes...

Yeah, I honestly would have loved a different version where Leo and company helped the apples fight the brothers in the competition.

But after reading this chapter, it is better this way, truly, showing up Flim and Flam with solid logic...

[PonyMTG]

Rainbow scrunched up her muzzle. "She sells Shellders by the sea shore?"

She sells POKEMON by the sea shore?

[Symphonicdysonince]

9495672
Let's see if you can find the other two hidden pokemon...

[the magitechie]

9494559
Uh, no. If anyone's evolving into Sylveon, it's going to be Conner. I mean, he hangs out with Fluttershy, he's not as much of a fighter, and those two seem to be pretty close friends, plus he knows Baby-Doll Eyes, which is a Fairy type move.

[CrossoverFanficReader]

"So long as you follow the instructions." Rainbow deadpanned. "I've seen what you do with your Lego sets."

"But they're so boring!" Pinkie cried. "It's so much fun just making them up as you go. It's like being a master of you're own world!"

<<Down Pinkie.>> Zann tapped her with his metal paw. <<You're starting to get a Morgan Freeman complex.>>
-
Why? WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THAT MOVIE SUCKED!

[Black--Soul]

Damn... Hope The Flame brothers didnt damaged anyones health

[Lexiebommel10]

I never understood how flimflam got away with stealing from the apples orchard they used thier apple trees and apples to make the cider

[Adenbadens]

9859777
Young filly, might you see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spell-bindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration?

“Uh, sure, I guess?”

And as for the ones made during the contest? The winner got the right to sell all the cider.

[chibilink]

An' they could just by more apples to refill the kits.

[Master king]

Got rid of those bums fight.

[chibilink]

It's gotta be very potent by now, what hasn't been taken by th' Celestia's Share.

<< O~h.>> Zann chuckled. <<Hey, Leo! I get it now.>> I saw his look of mirth get replaced by one of horror. <<Oh Arceus!>>

What's he suddenly getting?