Knight Gear
Joined 21st Nov, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- RandomChance · 11k words · 492 41 · 9.5k views
- ScarFox9700 · 84k words · 318 26 · 5.4k views
- Valiant Charge · 74k words · 303 42 · 8.8k views
- The-Black-Knight · 39k words · 209 11 · 4.3k views
- Arceaion · 33k words · 370 78 · 5.4k views
- leonthabrony · 6.2k words · 141 32 · 3.6k views
- Iridescence T Wind · 241k words · 1,002 90 · 15k views
- ShadowsInTheDark · 45k words · 69 6 · 1.6k views
Featured In12
Clopfics11,637 stories ·15,870 members
Hypnosis and Mind Control1,622 stories ·3,873 members
Anthropomorphics7,704 stories ·5,028 members
My Little Fetish16,776 stories ·8,618 members
Rape2,205 stories ·3,968 members
Polyamory1,261 stories ·1,765 members
The Dungeon1,270 stories ·1,748 members
- Master, Pet and Slave ponies group291 stories ·799 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.116 seconds
Total duration
893 users online
1,221,550 hits today, 1,699,588 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Did you just repost it?
7785882
Yes I spread out the story and put in the right tags.
You should, at the very, very least, have the description go through an editor.
7785911
What's wrong with it?
7785912 Many typos and misspellings. Using "their" when you shouldn't.
That may have been my job. Unfortunately, I've got a plate full of personal nonsense that I'm still trying to eat, so I haven't been able to find time.
Before I read it, how Dark does it get ?
Whoo! 10/10 Edgy.
7786653
Sorry I took so long to replay as for edgy if your talking about gore or anything that wont come until later and in small amounts. Worst is a Griffin being turned into a slave in the first one. Second one you just meet the known leaders of the different chapters. I have a whole bunch of notes if you want to read them.
7786836 A, ok
7797196
So what do you think?
7797203 So far so good I really can't give my whole opinion until I read a couple more chapters but what I've seen so far it's good besides some misspellings and word placement other than that it's pretty good
7797282
Thanks I dont know why everyone hates it so much?
7797291 If they give you hate but don't give you a reason they're just trying to put you down so don't listen to them but if they give you a reason tried to fix it if it's something you can fix but if they just don't like the story tell them to leave and don't come back they don't have to read it if they don't like it
7797300
I have in the past and I've tried to fix the mistakes. Its hard when your dyslexic.
And have aspergers
You don't have to tell me anything I'm the same way my cousin has aspergers so I know what it's like
7797313
7797379
Thanks it's always good to talk.
This is... interesting and worth keeping an eye on, but I do have to complain that a lot of things seem rather vague. As an author one of the most important things you need to do for the reader is to provide clarity so they know what is going on and why. For example the story's description is honestly one of the worst I've ever seen. A good description should state clearly who the protagonist is and what they are generally trying to accomplish from the outset of the plot. Here we only see some vague mumbling about an abused character and an organization that wants to make to make the world better by dubious means. The only reason I decided to give this a chance was because I saw it added to the bondage group, which leads me to another point. When your story is going to involve some kind of fetish or kink it is considered a good idea to state what they are right in the description, both to attract readers that might be interested in them and ward off readers who would be repulsed by them.
As for the story itself there doesn't seem to be anything too offensive but the characters overall purpose seem somewhat confusing in regards to the organization they work for. we don't know anything substantial about it, what its goals/ guiding philosophy are or even its name. Mysterious organizations are all well and good when a decent chunk of the plot involves trying to find out more about them, but when the protagonist is a part of said organization from the get-go, we the audience will need some basic facts.
7797759
Thanks for the info as for your points they are mostly in the early stages of setting up. For the organization I have written a lot of notes. I was also planing to go more indepth around the fourth chapter talking about the various ranks among the order. As for the name I haven't mentioned yet mostly because the three work for the same group so there's no reason to go over information they already know.
The description is a good point. And I'll work on it.
Also forget to point out but I thought people would have figured this out by now. The name of Story is the name of the Group.
Cursed Eyes
anymore?
7924024
The story is still going. Just having some writers block with the next chapter. Sorry its taking so long.
7924982 That's is alright
7924982
Looking forward to it, this story is fantastic so far
7986790
Thanks for the support. And dont worry I'm still working on the story. I'm just trying to figure out how to show off the different classes within the order.
Been a while good chapter
8042545
Ya sorry about the wait had to deal with some personal junk. And sorry the chapter was shoter than normal I didnt want to put off any longer.
It's fine, life comes first, and interesting chapter
Thank you. Sorry it isn't as long as the others. Hectic week for me.
Does this story have a combustionbender in it?
8224407
Sorry do you mean like Avatar the last air bender? Because it shouldn't.
Hello to all the readers. I'm sorry I'm taking so long with the next chapter. I don't know why but I'm currently having writer's block and can't fully concentrate
It's fine, everyone has stuff they need to deal with once in a while
8436317
Thanks for understand. The things I had to deal with are my younger sister heading off the college and my dad being diagnosed with skin cancer. Also the auto shop I work at gotten broken into so we had to replace all the tools and such. Soooo just been a stressful month.
I'm surpised to see this update. I havent heard from you in awhile so i thought you just stopped working on it. Glad to see you have done more. My offer still stands to help you if you were worried.
Also, this chapter is so hot. I'm into petplay <.<
8436720
I"m not done with this story life just got in the way both good and bad. And I've had to deal with a few personal problems. I dont give up on things easily just like life. As my grandpa always says I'm too stubborn to die. But anyways I'm still working on it just haven't had the time like before. And honestly I didn't contact you mainly because I feel like I need to starting editing on my own more. Just to improve my self.
8437127
Understandable. But as i said, the offer still stands if you ever want help. I wouldn't mind. But its good your trying on your own, and this was pretty well written so i saw improvement.
8437470
Thank you! *Says in funny voice.*
Now I must plan the next chapter. *brain fart.*
8438502
That also includes if you have any questions about Eclipse or how she acts.
This is an enjoyable chapter... the part with fluttershy being captured/initial trained at her house seems a bit short and simple to me... but really like where this is going
8440022
Thanks and I thought of making the training a bit longer but I was having trouble. So I decided to split the story in half.
When can we expect the next chapter? I really would like to read the whole story.
8802595
I’m sorry I haven’t added anything yet. Things have been crazy life wise. I honestly can’t tell you.
8805243
8805878
I haven’t given up on the story. I’ve just been having writers block. Don’t worry you’ll have another chapter. I promise.
8809900
I hope so. I don't like Cliff hangers.
8809919
I know you and I are the same. It’s just I kind of wrote my self into a corner that I haven’t figured a way out yet. Also thank you for being patient.
8809948
I hope you get out of your funk soon. I hate seeing good stories die.
8809956
I’m working on it now. And while your on. Mind telling me what you like so much about it?